“so, what do you think babe?” rumi asks you excitedly immediately after the sound coming from her phone became silent. the melody of ‘golden’ and your girlfriend’s voice loop in your head yet you could not form thoughts about it.

“it’s great,” you face her with a small smile. rumi’s eyebrows and her shoulders sags a little lower at your response. “what’s wrong, rumi?”

“just ‘great’?” rumi can’t help but whisper. she vividly remembers you jumping around every time rumi lets you hear a snippet or just a line of a song. your lack of enthusiasm does not go unnoticed but she trusts that you’ll talk to her once you’re ready. she just hopes nothing is too late and too broken to fix.

“but it is a great song, rumi,” you emphasize, like its as obvious as the sky being blue. rumi’s eyes look down, she knows its a great song, of course, she’s the one who made it. but somehow it’s not the words she wants from you. it’s not the words she’s used to hearing from your lips.

instead, an unfamiliar question threatens to fall from rumi’s lips. “do you still lo- no. uh, you know what, nevermind.”

do you still love me? she likes to think she knows what your answer is going to be. but if it has changed, she thinks she can hear it another time.

silence roars through the room where rumi’s voice should be booming. you watch in the sidelines as her voice cracks for the third time this rehearsal. everyone’s anxiety is as evident las the golds in her costume. only a few minutes until show time and rumi’s voice was still frozen in her verse.

the remaining emotions you have takes home in the darkest part of your heart, on the very back, dwarfed by the looming nothingness. but its there and its currently calling out to you. it’s the reason why you feel your throat constrict and you chest clogged every time rumi stops singing midway. its thanks to the small portion of feelings that you feel disappointed and sad when rumi furrows her eyebrows and desperation slightly peeks from her eyes.

“im doing hiding. now, im shining like im bo-rn to b-” rumi’s hands massages her neck as her voice fails her again. for a moment she looks up and her eyes meet yours before she runs off the stage, leaving you with just the fleeting image of her clear distress and agony.

it was a silent shout for help and you didn’t need your speck of emotions to respond. but it was the same speck of emotions that lead you to a certain decision.

rumi sits in her room, basking in the darkness and the stream of light from outside. the world has turned its back on her, she feels lately. her pattern’s grow stronger day by day, covering her whole arm. in turn, her voice has been faulty as well. like a cherry on top of all her other problems, you’ve gotten cold.

the sound of knocking halts her wallowing. “who is it? go away. i told you guys im fine.” rumi shouts to the person on the other side.

“its me, rumi. let me in.” she hears your calm voice and its enough to send her into another spiral. were you always this composed during the times life kicks her ass? or was the you she remembered just a figment of her imagination. you were the type to panic with her, cry with her until rumi finds the situation ridiculous and feels better.

“i told you im fine.” rumi insists, she doubts your coldness could comfort her in a time when she wants warmth. maybe she would’ve let you in if you were still the you she knows.

“i know.” you say. “i came here to ask if i can sleep with you tonight.” her thoughts freeze for a brief second upon hearing your request. every inch of her body tingles and her heart pounds through her chest for the first time in a while. before she could think twice, her arms are already wrapped around you and pulling you inside.

once inside, you notice the dried tears and her moist eyes. “were you crying?” it was an obvious question with an obvious answer, but you realized that too late.

“no, i’m fine. just watching k-dramas, you know how i get,” rumi genuinely smiles at your worry. fascinated at how one question could bring her to a high. instead of being convinced, you lock the doors and lay on her bed. your arms sprawled like a starfish, inviting rumi to rest with you. immediately, she dives in to your chest face first, hugging you like a koala with an iron grip. you automatically grab the covers and isolated your bodies from the outside world.

“i missed you.” rumi confess as she buries her head further into you and you respond by locking your arms around her tighter, desperate to feel her body with what little soul you had left. you could map the patterns on her back through sheer memory but you chose to paint circles instead. ‘they’re beautiful,’ you’d say to her someday.

“why? i’ve always been here, rumi.” you murmur against her untied hair. the waves she got from her braids flow freely, embracing like another pair of arms. it’s frizzled and the split ends are visible but it’s still one of the most comforting scents you’ve ever smelled.

“i thought…” rumi starts and pauses. slowly you feel your hoodie starts to get wet. you hear a small sniffle. “i thought you didn't love me anymore,” rumi whispers against your chest, stabbing your dead heart with her words. her hands claw at you back and you remember her distress this morning. the same distress that made you come here in the first place.

you pull away slightly to look at her clearly. unshed tears pool from the corners of her eyes and her cheeks were wet from those that she couldn’t hold in. you kiss each drop away.

“i’ve always loved you. and i always will. remember that.”

“i love you, too. always. no matter what.” she whispers with her watery smile and watery eyes before chasing your lips with her own. the taste the salt of her tears nips at her tongue but your mouth still tasted sweet. maybe a kiss could seal this warmth so she could go back to it every time you turn distant.

it’s cheesy but rumi thinks that her world turned just a little better with just a kiss. maybe she would be fine after all, rumi thinks as she finally relaxes for the first time in a while. her puffy eyes starts to get heavy and she can feel herself slowly drift to sleep.

but before could truly rest she feels your lips on her crown. she has enough consciousness to hear, “i love you”, whispered directly to her forehead, like a plead for her brain to not forget your love.

a few hours later, you lie awake with your thoughts and your arms still wrapped around the love of your life. it seems like no matter how close, she still feels cold under your touch. but you know its not her but you who’s lost warmth. but you still have some left. and its enough to get you through the night.

you press a kiss to rumi’s face: first, both her eyes then her nose and finally her plump cheeks, to see if she would stir awake. but her breaths remain even. so your hand grab hers, any other time you would’ve wrapped it around your neck with no hesitation, wanting to get the act done before she wakes. but this time, you didn’t feel the need to rush. it was a moment you wanted to savor.

rumi still looks serene as ever. you smile at her peace, a stark contrast on how ominous an act you’re about to do. instead of the usual choking, you wanted to do this time differently. after all, last times are supposed to be special.

you guide her hand to you chest, and press her palms directly above your pulse. instantly, purple light penetrates her clothing and illuminates the whole room. the sky lights on your chest used to brighten the space around it, but now it could barely fight the dim.

a deep breath escapes your lips before the faint blue glow starts to move towards rumi’s patterns. the small fire you so cherish slowly start to leave your body. you watch with less interest compared to when you first gave your remnants to rumi. the last embers meets rumi’s hungry patterns as a lone tear falls from your eye as an apology to rumi and a pray dor her to understand. you wonder if you would have sobbed or cried a little harder if you had more of your emotions to offer.

that night your soul became one with rumi. with it, your emotions and your love. rumi’s patterns grow blue as if satisfied with your sacrifice.

rumi finally got to sleep soundly after a few restless nights. her lips form a smile as she open her eyes to you next to her. the sight of waking up with you felt warm and sweet and all the feelings she’s sorely missed.

“good morning, babe” she greets before pulling you for a kiss. however, her lips were met with no movement.

rumi pulls away, confused at your blank expression. “what’s wrong? it is my breath? come on, i told you it wasn’t that bad. plus, you won’t die from a lil morning breath,” she blabbers before leaning in for the second time.

instead of your lips, she was met with your hand. “babe?” she asks again, slightly more serious this time.

“let’s break up.” you say.

it’s been a few weeks since your relationship with rumi ended. and a few weeks since your body has been completely emptied with your soul.

there was nothing different from when you had it but you guessed its because you’re used to functioning with close to none. it does make you wonder if you would’ve shed tears when rumi begged you stay. if you would’ve hugged her and kiss her when she asked what went wrong. or answered truthfully when she stared at you like you were more vile than the demons she kills.

you wander through the dark streets of the city with not even your pain or pleasure to accompany you, the thought of being alone didn’t make your steps lighter or heavier so you walk until your feet halt in the middle of an unlit alley.

the place was nothing special truly but it was enough for you to get a clear view of the sky. and the two figures it hosts.

even at the sight of rumi singing and holding hands with a man you don’t know wasn’t enough for you to have the urge to scream rumi’s name or punch the nearest wall. these past few weeks was like living through third person. and now you look at the scene before you like you would a tv commercial of a product you have no interest in.

if rumi found your replacement, then you would like to think you would’ve been happy for her.

you watch the two move and soar the night sky like the city below was the stage made exactly for them until a whisper calls you. cold wind brushes you shoulder but there was no one around you.

“over here,” the voice darker than your shadow echoes in the furthest corner of the alleyway. if you cared, you would’ve thought twice. but the voice evoke no more emotion in you as much as the two people singing. it didn’t matter if you followed the voice or continued watching; is just as bland as the other.

so you turn your back to rumi and the unknown man and followed the inauspicious voice without hesitation.

“i’ve been hoping to change. now, i know we can change. but i won’t if you’re not by my side.”

rumi feels numb from feeling, she’s gone through too much emotions in too little time. what started as sadness would turn to helplessness the next moment and then become anger, rendering her lost and unable to move forward. now, she’s stuck filling the void you left within her.

“you’re waking up parts in me that i thought were buried for good,” jinu sings to her with passion. his companionship felt so wrong and so right. with him, she feels seen and understood, all the hardships she’s been through can finally be shared without no after thoughts. but he can never make her feel even a fraction of what you do to her.

she can’t help searching for your warmth on someone that’s not you, navigating roads that don’t lead to you.

“we can’t fix it if we never face it. let the past be the past til it’s weightless,” rumi sings her heart out, hoping her voice would carry all her emotions directly to you.

the sky felt freeing yet she still feels shackled. what is freedom if she could not taste it with you. she looks down the city, hoping to see a semblance of you in the sea of night. there’s no stars in the sky to maker her wish come true but right as her eyes go back to face jinu’s, she caught movement in the corner. she sees a familiar back, rumi’s body moves on its own. she wastes no time coming down to meet you. she could float in cloud nine and she would still give it up just for a moment with you.

“rumi! where are you going?” jinu calls out. but she didn’t have the composure to tell him, one look of your shadow is enough to melt her senses. for you, she could be a demon who only craves your affection.

rumi runs to where she saw you but found no signs nor traces of you. she looks nearby, searching every nook to no avail. was she just hallucinating in the midst of her yearning, she questions as she lids down the wall in unshed tears.

“come with me,” the deep voice says as it leads you further through the roads of the city. the number of lamps decreasing with every corner.

“here,” it finally says as you plant your feet in a quiet backstreet. without sunlight, the space is just pure black. you stare at it without much thought until it comes alive and reaches to you, swallowing you whole.

the darkness spits you out in front of a giant fire. you turn behind you to see an army of demons silently ogling at you like you were a small chick in front of an predator. and in hindsight, you probably were.

the great fire opens it mouth and bellows a laugh that sent the demons behind you in frightened shivers. “so, you’re the fool who actually gave away their soul.” it laughed once more, there would’ve been tears on where its eyes were.

“you must be gwi ma,” you observe. “what do you want from me?”

you’ve heard from rumi how the demon king manipulates people through their emotions, strike deals to enslave them for eternity and eats souls. however, there is no deal to be struck between the both of you; there is no emotion to manipulate or soul to be eaten. you’ve already sacrificed it to a more deserving demon.

“to ask you a few questions.” but even you know it wasn’t that simple. “you’re a very special case,” he starts. “you have no soul yet you are still alive. tell me, how?” the fire turns a shade of blue and stretches just enough to barely lick your face.

“i do not know.” truly, the reason why you are still alive eludes you. you guess it is because you did it voluntarily but the demon king did not need to know that.

“that’s fine, i did not to expect a reasonable answer from a fool anyways,” gwi ma hums. then, the gigantic hole for a mouth twitches into a grin. “maybe you can enlighten me about your girlfriend then” gwi ma tries to elicit a reaction from you but the time when her name had the power to evoke emotion in you has long since passed.

“she’s a demon who needed a soul to live. i was a willing soul,” you state the obvious. but the demon king was not satisfied with your answer. the fire dances around you, enclosing you in a ring of hot flames. “ i can’t reach her. my voice cannot affect her and you want me to believe that sorry excuse? i will not repeat myself twice. tell me, lowly human.”

“i do not have the answer to your question, demon king. but…” you insist your truth before opening your mouth to give him a piece of your thoughts, thoughts you had before giving your soul to rumi.

“if my love was a demon who takes and kills, it is only reasonable that i give. i merely believed that sacrificing everything for someone who is fated to not deserve it, would purify them of their hunger.”

the giant fire laughed again, sending earthquakes through the soil. “the world is not easy enough for you to play doomed lovers, human.” the fire grows stronger with each of his words and your feet shakes as the ground rumbles fiercely. you peek behind you to see the demons twitch in anticipation of something coming.

suddenly, portals open around the vast army of demons. on the other side, was a familiar urban road. one by one the demons jump in, slowly emptying the once organized demon ranks.

“i will show you how cruel the world truly is.”

the demon king laughs once more before disappearing before you in a blink of an eye. with no more fire trapping you, you get in a portal yourself, leaving the world of the undead behind and back into the land of the living.

the world that greeted you was in utter chaos. the portal transported you in the middle of a marching mob, you were almost ran over by the sheer amount of people. despite your otherworldly entrance and that everyone was bumping into you, nobody seemed to pay you any attention. each of them moved as if in a trance, heading towards the same direction.

you turn your head towards their destination and see a giant dome. all the questions in your head was quickly answered by the image in the led screens. saja boys. you did not remember the world being in such chaos, it seemed that a lot had happened during your brief conversation with gwi ma.

however, even the world ending couldn’t pique your non-existent interest. you watch the scene in front of you unfold as if watching a television, until you hear a familiar voice behind you.

“love?”

before you could turn and greet rumi, a pair of arms wrapped you in tight hug. it was the same kind of hug she gave you that night when you last laid together, but this time you did not have the heart to appreciate it.

“rumi. i-”

“you don’t know how much i missed you. come back, please. i need you,” rumi cuts you off. her voice breaks like fragile glass and her hands dig at your back. “come back, please.” her pleads felt far, like hearing them under water. “i can’t.” you promised yourself to cut ties with her, for her sake, before you gave her the last piece of you.

you pull away from her hold and your eyes catch the purple gleam. rumi watch you as you peer at her, her arms scramble to hide her patterns in instinct. however, you showed no signs of disgust. or surprise, much to rumi’s shock. your expression remained blank despite being face to face with rumi’s dark secret.

then, your fingers reach out to caress the patterns adorning her cheeks. “it didn't work.”

rumi’s hand grabbed your extended wrist before it could touch her skin. “what do you mean?” she asked. her eyes meet yours but she couldn’t read anything. she once prided herself in knowing everything about you but why does it feel like you’re a book in a language she did not speak. what changed? she asks herself every time she’s alone with her thoughts. everything she vowed to protect was falling apart and her friendships were in peril but she was still asking “what went wrong?”.

“what didn’t work? love?” rumi asks you desperately. “nothing,” you lied, it was another promise you made to yourself. to not tell her the truth. “no, something’s going on. tell me, please.”

before you could open your mouth, someone bump into your shoulders harshly, making you lose your balance. rumi grabs your arm to stabilize you but her eyes remained at the retreating figure.

“why are you not under the spell like them?” rumi’s question was quiet. her purple eyes come home to yours. the final piece of the puzzle was handed to her, it was up to you to tell her the answer.

“no words or action i could give you is enough to express my love for you anyways. what better way than make you feel it for yourself?” you break your silence as you give rumi the complete picture of the puzzle she has been trying to solve. the truth slowly dawns to her, tears run down her face as she imagines what transpired for you to be in such a state. the image of your soul leaving your body flashes through her, it wasn’t hard since she sees it with both her eyes on a daily basis. but she never thought you would experience it yourself. voluntarily. for her.

“you were supposed to make me feel it trough you. your actions and words. how am i supposed to feel your warmth anymore?” rumi’s voice breaks and she feels her throat narrow, each word fighting free themselves from her clogged breathing..

“i’ve always loved you, rumi.” your fingers kiss the patterns on her neck. her patterns turn a familiar shade of blue, responding to your touch. you meet her eyes and although it does not hold the warmth, you give her the truth. there was no emotion even as you said it. you try to remember the love, the warmth you felt during all the times you’ve professed your love to her but the feelings feel foreign.

“no.” rumi shakes her head in denial. she grabs your collar and sobs in you chest.

then, she grabs your hand. “i can’t. you have to come back.” she drags you as she leads you to the dome. “rumi? what are you doing?” rumi doesn’t stop even as you call out to her, overrun by her panic and denial. her grip on your hand lets you know that she’s determined to bring you her soul back.

in a matter of moments you both enter the dome filled with mindless audience. finally, rumi opens her mouth “this all gwi ma’s fault. maybe he can give your soul back. he wants me. i could strike a deal.” she rambles, her eyes were blown wide with false hope and desolate wishes.

before she could pull you further, you stop in your tracks and pull a piece of paper out, nothing fancy just a torn page out of your notebook.

dear rumi,

i know you will never believe a word i say when you the truth inevitably comes out so i’m writing this.

my everything has been yours the moment i’ve met you, including my soul. i would be lying if i said the price i paid was nothing but i don’t regret it. i never will.

i don’t want you to resent yourself because i did this knowing that every second i feel nothing is a moment you are safe. i have loved you with every piece of me and i always will. giving you my soul immortalized my love within your patterns so my feelings remains true for as long as you breath. my love is not for me to feel anymore but it is with you wherever you go.

love,

your love

rumi breaks down in your arms as she reads the note you wrote before that fateful night, faced the ugly reality that she has to live with from now on. her heart feels heavier with each word, the weight of carrying two souls bear on her. still she mourns your sacrifice and it would take long before she fully accepts the truth. but she knows your love for her warms her every step she takes.

“i will feel for the both of us.” rumi whispers to your empty heart.

“i know.” your arms wrap around her by memory and you look over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of mira and zoey still entranced. a familiar demonic fire engulfs the stage with fervor, putting everyone under a wicked spell.

this is either the stupidest idea you ever cooked or the cleverest.

the school parking lot was flocked with students despite the scorching weather. while cars of all shapes, color and sizes lodged aimlessly.

“everybody! thank you for coming today!” you shouted at the top of your car, holding a megaphone in one hand. “welcome to the soccer team’s sexy summer car wash! where we wash your car in ways both you and the car will enjoy!” cheers erupted through the crowd. you peer among the people gathered and you think just how much you’ve earned from the participation fee alone.

“let’s get this party started, shall we?” you put down the megaphone beside you. the crowd goes wild as you remove your shirt. your team members followed after. and the parking lot is in chaos.

the party is in full swing with more and more people appearing by the hour.

“i didn’t think washing cars would be this fun.” winter giggled beside you as you fill up buckets of water. it was safe to say winter liked the attention. after all, many are already lining up to take her home tonight.

“of course, when have i ever had a bad idea?” you grinned.

“every idea of yours is bad,” winter’s nose scrunch, remembering all those times you got the team in trouble. “speaking of, are you sure karina won’t just pop up suddenly? i mean look at how many people there is, she’s gonna find out.”

“then, let her. we’re students and this is our school.” you shrugged but both you and winter know it isn’t as simple as that. at least not when it comes to yoo jimin.

“she already thinks you’re the devil who have sex with everyone in exchange for favors. this would only make shit worse between the both of you.” winter’s words rang true to ears. unfortunately, you chose to be deaf to reason, too consumed by your hatred for the president to heed her advice.

“she can do whatever she wants and i could care less, winter.” if karina wants to paint you as the villain, so be it. those girls, her friends and the past council members, they slept with you willingly. they tried to give you what you want in hopes of winning your heart. but they didn't and so they wept.

“and would you really stop all this just because theres a chance little miss president will come?” at that, both you and winter come back to the heart of the mob.

the team didn’t really have to try to be suggestive or anything. walking around shirtless and flexing your muscles every now and then is enough for this sexy car wash to be sexy. after all, who wouldn’t be satisfied with sweaty six pack abs.

you were washing the hood of someones volvo while the owner was flirting with you.

suddenly you hear a murmur ripple through the crowd. you craned your neck to see the sea of people part.

a koenigsegg jesko pierced the population of teenagers. its engines roar over the hush whispers and its ivory skin reflecting the awe-struck faces of the students.

the luxurious car stopped behind you. everybody fell silent and you stood up, each one eager to know who is the driver.

the door opened and everybody broke out in gasps and distinct whispers. you looked at her with wide eyes as you stood frozen in place.

karina sauntered over to you. confidently and slowly, like she owned all the time in the world. strangely, there was no hint of anger in her gorgeous face. but her eyes held something you couldn’t fathom.

imaginary electricity prickle your skin. the air around you gets more charge every step she takes. you try to school your expression once more.

karina stopped in front of you.

“karina-” you started. but her gaze kept your mouth from saying anything further. she raises her hand and a slender finger met your lips delicately. “shush.”

you quietly observe as she face the car you were washing. she inspects it silently. she traced the hood with her fingers without a word. bubbles gathered at the tip of her fingers. she lifts her hand once more and in a blink of an eye she flicked it over to you. the bubbles landing on your cheek.

“what the fuck?” before your hand can wipe your cheek, her hand stopped yours. the other landed on your cheek gently. you feel your throat get clogged up as your wide eyes meet her brown ones.

you inhaled sharply, shakily as she moved her thumb to remove the white foam. her face closer to yours than before, giving you the chance to admire her features. it was nothing short of perfection.

although you were more than certain the foam had long since left you face, her soft hands stayed perched on your face.

“what are you playing here, karina?” you growled lowly. karina smirks at your frustration. how entertaining to see you crumble.

she leaned impossibly closer. expensive perfume invaded your senses. your eyes closed for a second as you gulped. “you forget. this is my parking lot you’re standing on.”

“we’re students here, we’re allowed to use this space.” as if coming back to your senses, your back straightened as your hand flew to her waist. her smile faltered for a blink of an eye but you caught it. and your lips widened at the sight.

“my, why are you so defensive?” she giggled beside your hear. melodious as it sent your bare spine shivering. if that wasn’t enough, she brought her other hand to your abdomen. “i’m not here to stop your fun. i just dropped by to say hi to my favorite student.”

her body pressed against yours. so close, you can feel her ample chest. should your hands go any lower, it would meet her ass.

“what are you playing here, karina?” you ask one more time.

“i’m playing your game. so try not to lose,” each word left her mouth with diction and it registered onto your brain slowly. just as you were about to make a comeback, her lips planted a kiss onto your ear. you feel your body go red, your mind on haywire.

and when her spell has left your system, she was already in her car revving her engine.

the student body president had declared war. and so far, she’s winning.

“watch me get the highest bid. everybody wants a piece of this, no doubt.” giselle twirled, showing off her curves.

“i doubt anyone would even bid at you. they’ll be too busy putting their money on this.” kazuha replied, flexing her muscles.

everybody lined up back stage for the team’s charity dating. in truth, you’ve raised more than enough money for the team. however, you wouldn’t let the threat by the name of yoo jimin pass so easily. and everybody knows when you cross y/n l/n, you cross the whole soccer team.

so you made the perfect stage of revenge for your humiliation. that little scene from the car wash spread like wildfire, everyone who had a mouth were talking about it. good and bad.

“thanks. i owe you and the team.” you pat winter who is fixing her makeup in front of you. you were the last ones in the line.

“what do you mean? this would’ve happened sooner or later, with or without intervention from miss president.” winter laughed. she put down her mirror and turned her body towards you.

“it’s already too late to talk you down whatever insane plan you come up with. so i wish you luck instead” she smiled at you. winter already knew it will work, there wasn’t a time it didn’t. *captain never fails*, that’s the line the team holds onto.

then you heard her name get called on stage. not soon later, loud chants filled your ears.

and you were left with your own thoughts.

you knew karina was somewhere among the crowd. she’d bid for you until she wins. the night starts with the two of you. and that’s where your game begins. your favorite game, the chasing game.

you’ve never lost at this game. and you have no plans to.

“please welcome! consecutive season MVP for three years and of course captain of the soccer team, y/n l/n” the crowd roared your name. it echoes throughout the whole venue. adrenaline pumps throughout your body.

you smile and the crowd goes wild. “okay. we’re starting off 70K WON.” not a bad start, your pride tells you.

“120K WON.” could be better. your eyes scan the crowd. a woman like karina wouldn’t be hard to miss. no matter how many people are here.

“500K WON.” a gentle voice spoke up. everybody turned turned their heads towards the source. a woman holding the number “7” with a gloved hand.

there she is. sitting elegantly, dressed in white that shows of her milky shoulders. her hair down, her eyes piercing and her lips painted red. she looked ethereal just by sitting in a chair.

the crowd murmured as they watch karina throw the highest bid of the night. you were sure another wildfire had just been brought to life.

“going, sold! a date with miss l/n for 500K WON” the announcer clapped and the audience followed.

“well, folks. this officially ends the soccer team’s charity dating. thank you for coming. for those who won a date, enjoy. for those who didn’t, there are other ways and many more chances.”

you walk down the stage to where karina is standing. she patiently waits for you to reach her, eyes never leaving your figure.

“you must like crashing our parties.” you greet. you both know there’s no need to be hostile, for now at least.

“of course. like i would pass up the chance to see your miserable face.” she links your arms together. you hummed in response. “let me buy you a drink then. for bidding 500K WON for this miserable face.”

you let her guide you to the bar where she orders an expensive drink. figuring you wouldn’t be able to go through the night this sober, you settle for a beer.

“barbaric. just like how i imagined you.” she huffs through her nose. what a priss you thought.

“its a classic” you correct.

the bartender passes you the bar. without missing a beat, you drink some and leave some on your mouth. then, you press your lips to karina and passes the beer to her mouth.

the president makes a disgusted face that makes you chuckle. you see her throat bobbed up and down.

your eyes fly back to her face, “tastes better when its from my mouth, yeah?”

you invade her space until her familiar perfume invades your senses again. “you wanna play my game, karina? sure. i don’t mind.”

“but what i don’t understand is what you’re breaking your heart for?” you say like you already know she’s the one who’s going to end up in tears.

“break my own heart? as if you can get even close” she scoffs.

“because your friends cried over me? please, they knew what they were getting into. it was their fault for not paying attention enough.” you ignore her. and while your words ring true, she still felt anger bubbling in her chest.

“or is it because the past council treated me like a queen?” you look at her in the eyes and laugh lightly in disbelief. her brows furrow in a blink of an eye, but it was gone the moment it appeared.

“i didn’t tell them to do anything. everything they did, they did on their own accord. maybe that’s precisely why it pisses you.i just butter them up a little and suddenly all my wishes come true.”

you had struck a nerve. it was why she’s in this crusade to end you. she worked hard for her seat in the council, fought for her reputation and earned people’s respect. meanwhile, you didn’t do anything and people still kiss the ground you walk on.

people fail to see you. the true you. manipulative and toxic. only she does and it frustrates her.

“but that’s why i like you. while others were blind, you saw reason. they were too busy winning my favor but you were plotting my downfall.” you tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.

suddenly, she grabbed you by your tie and crashes your lips together. her lips were soft as they looked. they contrast her aggressiveness. for a moment, both of you were list in your world full of hatred and anger for each other.

your teeth clashed and your tongues intertwine. when you pull away, a string of saliva connects both your lips.

karina takes your hand and lead you outside the venue where her expensive car is parked. both of you wastes no time getting in.

you don’t know how long the drive took but when you did arrive at her mansion, you were drowning in your own lust. in the blink of an eye, you were pinned in the door of her room.

your hands roam all over her, feeling every inch. her lips move from your lips to your jaw to your neck. while her hands reach lower and lower until she’s palming you. you throw your back.

“you think you’re so mighty.” she bites the skin beneath your ear.

“know what i like about being president?” she asks you even though shes aware you’re head is stuck in ecstasy to answer. “i get to put people like you in their place.”

karina rubs circles through your pants. your body burns at her touch, like there’s flames at her fingertips.

“why don’t i show you what your friends saw in me?”you breath out and she laughs at how stupid you sound. how could say that while you writhe under her fingertips.

“after all, you paid for a good time. let me show what your money is worth.” you you reach on to her back for the zipper of her dress. you pull it down, leaving her in her undergarments. your eyes feasts upon everything before you.

“like what you see?” she puts a finger on your chin, forcing your eyes to meet hers. she smirks before kissing you again, slowly this time. her hands quickly unbuttons your shirt and you shrugged it off, not breaking the kiss. you were about to remove your tie but she stops you. “keep it on.” she says firmly.

karina grabs you by the tie and pushes you onto her bed by your shoulders. she climbs onto top of your abdomen. her once more before she pulls away and puts hand on your chest to keep you down. with one hand, she takes off her bra. her boobs spilling for you too see. your eyes meet as her hands massages her voluptuous tits, moaning. she bit her lower lip and threw her head back, just to tease you.

unable to resist any longer, your hands reach out to touch. but her hands were faster, she removes the tie around your neck and binds your hands. “you can touch next time.”

“right now. all of you is mine.” her lips attack your neck until they’re red and purple. hands explore your body until they stop at your chest. squeezing them before removing your bra. her lips move onto them next. she pinched, sucked and you ached for more.

next, she removes your pants and your panties, leaving you bare before her. she admires and for the first time you feel your face flare from someone looking at your body.

as if testing the waters, she puts her knees between your thighs and raises them until her knees barely touch your bare core. “fuck.” you let out a breath.

“don’t worry. i won’t make you beg.” this time, the unsaid words hang on her tongue.

“i’ll give you everything you want tonight. until you’re too drunk to remember anything else but me.” your breath hitch as her hands rub circles on your thighs.

‘by the end of the night, you’re going to be wrapped around my finger’ the thought makes karina smirk.

these kinds of comments from her were nothing new. you should’ve been used to it by now but you find yourself loss for words each time. she’s always been the type to blurt out these kind of comments without thinking of the implication. maybe she does and she just fakes innocence to not deal with the consequences.

before you could rack your malfunctioning brain for a verbal reply, jeemin saved you the trouble and changed the topic. “what will you guys pick? i’m leaning towards dance.”

“you’ll do great in dance. for me, i’m gonna be safe and pick vocal,” jiwoo answered. “what about you?” she added, looping her arms around yours. the sudden proximity would’ve been fine any other time but her remark earlier kept you on your toes.

“me? i don’t really have much of a choice, you know,” you say, pointing to your grey badge with a huge silver “L”. low levels don’t get to choose, they only get the higher level trainees’ leftovers. cruel but you were confident in your abilities to stay afloat whichever category landed at your feet.

“you’re so dramatic. there’s only two options, im sure you’ll get to choose,” jiwoo reassures you after giggling at your antics.

“choose dance so we can be on the same team,” jeemin clutch your arms tighter and starts to shake it lightly as if it would persuade you.

“or i could end up competing against you. no, thank you,” you pull your away from her grasp only to reconnect your hands together.

jeemin pouts in return and your stomach clench looking at her. somewhere deep inside you had the urge to kiss it away. which you find weird because why would you want to kiss your friend. yes, she’s cute. but why would you want to do that. friends don’t do that.

before you get swallowed by your thoughts you hear jeemin’s name get called. it was time for her to choose. she gave your hand one last squeeze before bidding both you and jiwoo good lucks and good byes.

“choose vocals,” jiwoo whispers next to you after a few seconds.

jiwoo is always the type to be assertive but never aggressive. she’ll always be commanding but leave just enough room for you to pull away if you want to. but you don’t think you ever will. you like that side of her. and its son jiwoo, only fools dare to refuse her.

“i don’t know, maybe,” you whisper back playfully, keeping your head faced forward while you still feel jiwoo’s gaze on the side of your head.

jiwoo scooches closer and nudges her head onto your shoulder. to the untrained eye, it must’ve looked like jiwoo’s just clinging onto you. well, its technically right but something in you screams that its not just simple ‘clinginess’. “come on. wouldn’t you like to be teams with me? it’ll be fun.”

you would’ve answered. although, you didn’t know what but you would’ve blurted out. but before you could open your mouth, jiwoo’s name echoed throughout the lobby. saved by the bell, again.

“well, i’ll see you on the same team,” she flashes a smile before walking away.

waiting patiently for your turn, you chat idly with the other trainees to pass the time.

you pull the orange curtain back to reveal the girls in lines. jeemin’s eyes caught yours and give her a smile. the girl in front of her, jihyun, noticed the interaction and waved. you mimicked before walking toward the board containing different stickers. two for dance and vocal each. one of the two vocal badges was for a leader position.

you look behind you to see who’re the other leaders. almost immediately, your scanning gaze locked onto jiwoo’s, as if she was waiting for you to turn around just so she can meet your eyes.

the eye contact lasted for a split second before you turned around and grab the vocal position. the normal one, without the leader position.

jiwoo stands in front with yunah and jeongeun next to her. on her farthest left is yewon, another leader.

you stand in a line together with the other trainees who chose the same category as you, waiting for your name to get called by either of the two. beside you is wonhee and seoyeon. suddenly, anxiousness plagues your insides as you realize you’d be either in the same team as them or end up competing against them.

“so, jiwoo its your turn to pick next. who will it be?”

your eyes avoided jiwoo. you were afraid that desperation would be seen as plain as day on your face and holding eye contact with her would solidify that.

so you turn your attention to the person in front of you. which happened to be minju. her face morphs into confusion at your sudden focus in her. you only smile and minju furrows her eyes in turn. the action only made your smile wider, ‘how cute’.

“y/n.”

jiwoo’s voice broke both you and minju out of your trance. and it took you a second to understand that jiwoo wants you on her team. you look back at jiwoo to meet her unreadable face, her gaze going from minju to you.

“you looked worried there for a second,” yunah teases you as soon as you joined her and jeongeun, putting her arm around your shoulder comfortably.

“as if we’d pass up the chance to be with you,” she adds as she pinches your cheeks with her free hand.

“although, it looked to me you wanted to be with minju more” jeongeun added, joining in and putting her arms around you as well. while her other arm punches your stomach lightly.

“shut up,” you say, laughing at their teasing.

it has been a few days since practice started and your group has been going through some hiccups. well, its mostly yunah.

“yunah, you can tell me whats wrong. im here for you,” jiwoo’s words were nothing but soft and comforting. you were about to reach your friend when jiwoo’s eyes flicker to yours. ‘i’ll handle this.’

jeongeun and wonhee had already moved out to their own corner to continue practicing. you refused to leave yunah alone but jiwoo’s hard stare says all you need to know.

let the leader do her thing.

so, you distance yourself from the pair and roam your eyes around the practice room to look for something to do. you could use the time to practice, yes. but you’re sure that you would bury yourself six feet under the ground if you hear the song one more time.

the empty water dispenser gleamed at your search, the perfect opportunity to do something different. you walked towards it, detached the empty gallon and put it over your shoulder.

you left the practice room, heading to the cafeteria where they store the refills.

that is when hyewon saw your silhoutte from outside their practice room and called out your name. “y/n! what are you doing?”

“im getting refills,” you enter their practice room with ease, “bang!” blaring through the speakers yet nobody was really practicing. they were all doing their own thing, scattered across the vast room.

“great timing!” hyewon exclaims as she walks towards their own water dispenser. just like the one in your practice room, it was empty of any water.

“here! fill ours too,” she smiles at you brightly, her eyes twinkling in mischief. suddenly, her soft hands grips yours, the thin veil of sweat clinging on to you. she opens your palms and put the neck of the gallon there.

“what? no! you fill it up! its yours!” you exclaims as you take her hands and forcefully shove the gallon back in her grasps.

“come on. do me a little favor, won’t y-”

a cough intervenes hyewon’s pleading and forceful words. you turn around to see youngseo, who’s already boring her fiery eyes through your soul. then, her eyes travels to you and hyewon’s intertwined hands.

just like opposite magnets, both of you retreated your hands quickly causing the gallon to fall into the floor with a thud. you and hyewon both wince at the sound but youngseo however did not flinch.

instead, her gaze remained hot towards you. “i’ll be coming with you,” she says softly with her underlying firmness. her voice was always like that, sweet and subtly strong.

how you missed it. when was the last time she addressed you directly again?

“you don’t have to, i’ll be fine alone,” you convince her. it has been a long time since you both spoke to each other. truthfully, you weren’t ready to face her yet. its been too long and you have forgotten what being around her is like.

“no. i want to,” her firmness surfaced through her small voice. you decide that its really not up for debate. when youngseo has made up her mind, it’ll be hard to break her resolve. what youngseo wants, youngseo gets.

maybe remembering the feelibg of her company isn’t bad at all.

you watch as she picks up the gallon from the floor and head towards the door, you follow her until you were both walking in the hallway, side by side.

youngseo didn’t talk. as much as you wanted for her to say something, you knew she wouldn’t open her mouth unless it was to reply to something you said. or so you thought.

“how’s practice coming along?” her question puts an end to your thoughts. if you weren’t surprised by her accompanying you before, you were now that she was actually speaking to you.

“we’re…” you paused, thinking of the right words. choosing the right words carefully, you didn’t want to come across as overconfident. “we’re moving along, i guess”

you see her nod lightly in you peripheral vision. your eyes find the floor. there was so much you both needed to talk about. yet you were talking about practice.

“im happy you chose the vocal team. the world needs to hear your voice more,” youngseo’s voice flew like water against the air, natural and unwavering.

you snapped your head towards her and she turn hers just in time to catch the surprise look in yours, like she knew you were going to look at her.

it was the first time you’ve actually held eye contact after a long time. you drink in the familiarity you’ve lost and among it are a thousand words you can’t decipher. something flicker in her face before she breaks the stare.

“yeah, i just feel like i’ve been branding myself too much to dance lately,” you say, knowing it would end the conversation. a test to see if youngseo will surprise you again and start a new one.

but she didn’t. and the whole walk continued in awkward silence. so many unsaid words hanging in the air, the burden getting heavier each step closer to her practice room.

‘look, how about we just forget everything and start over?’

'we both know it won't work'

the past looms over both of you like dark shadows and you both know it. yet, youngseo did make any move to open the skeleton in your shared closet.

'let's talk, youngseo. you can’t keep ignoring me forever’

‘im sorry, i just need more time’

she’s ignoring it so why shouldn’t you. if someone’s going to peel the scab, it wouldn’t be you. you already did your part. a long time ago.

'i need space.'

‘you already got your space, youngseo. what about me? it's been months. if you've found peace then let me find mine!'

before you knew it, the door to her practice room is in sight. a part of you felt relieved to finally be free from her presence, while another part was longing to be with her a little longer.

youngseo stands beside it, holding the doorknob with one hand. she smiles at you sweetly. then waves at you lightly, “i’ll see you soon! good luck on your practice!”

the thoughts come pouring in as the door shuts in front of you. she was gone like she had never been there. you would’ve wondered if the last few moments were real if it weren’t for her voice replaying vividly on your mind. just like a melody you can’t get enough of.

just like that, you find yourself getting stuck in her web. again.

the following days went by quickly. but youngseo never once left your mind. you know you shouldn’t think much of her actions, youngseo’s too unpredictable.

after everything, why now?

“are you even paying attention?” jeemin’s whines mixed with the song blasting through the speakers.

it was late into the night and you decided to stay back with the tall girl to help polish her moves. you thought her moves were perfect the first time she showed it to you. and by the nth time, your mind can’t help but drift.

jeemin couldn’t believe it when you agreed after all the stage is coming up soon, there’s no time to loiter around. but she didn't have to know that you can never refuse her.

“are you okay? we can go home if you’re tired.” jeemin’s offer sounded sweet, she’s as nice as ever. but you witness the fire burning in her eyes, begging for her passion to translate into her performance. you knew it will never be extinguished completely, she was born to be a performer. so you let it burn you a little more.

“im fine, don’t worry about me and carry on,” you gesture for her to continue. and she restarts the song all over again. this time, you poured her all of your attention.

it was a wonder how your mind sailed before when jeemin is tight in front of you. her performance was impeccable as ever, the hard work and talent prominent in every sway and stroke.

“you’re off to space again,” jeemin narrows her eyes down at you playfully. her raspy voice was a blessing and her smile was godsend. an angel looks down at you.

“i wasn’t this time! i swear! i was just mesmerized.” your hands flew up in defense as you stand up to join her in front of the mirror.

“stop lying!” she smacks your arm lightly, her laugh gracing the whole room. you were glad nobody else was in the room, it made the privilege of making her laugh sweeter.

“fine then. if you were actually paying attention, at least give me some feedback.” your heart leaped at the sight of her crossing her arms.

“you were perfect!” jeemin let out a big sigh. as much as jeemin likes being praised, she needs actual feedback. something she can work with for these next few days leading to the stage.

“give me something more specific,” jeemin rolls her eyes lightly. but even then her cheeks stay up and her smile never faltered.

“well,” you think for a bit. “i liked how you start of the song. it really set the mood for the song.”

in front of you, jeemin’s pink turn a bright shade of pink.

“i think you also killed the omona part. you’re naturally cute so plus points for that. and then this move,” you didn’t know the name of the move so you demonstrate it to her.

jeemin bursts out laughing at your attempt. your awkward movements reflecting wholly through the mirror and you follow after jeemin, throwing your head back. “stop laughing, im not that bad.”

but jeemin continued giggling and so did you. the joyful sounds filling the entire space and drowning the faint sounds of the speakers.

you calm down after a few seconds but one look from each other sent you both into another spiral again. soon, both of you were lying on the floor, clutching your stomachs.

“ah- my stomach hurts from laughing so much.” jeemin blurts out between breaths and gasps.

“who said we’re done yet? you just made fun of my dancing.” you hands flew to her sides before she can fully comprehend what you said. another round of laughter echoes throughout the room as you tickle jeemin mercilessly.

somehow, she managed to get free from your grasp and now a tall baby is chasing you around the practice room.

jeemin catches your arm and pulled you to her, lightly but it was enough for your bodies to collide. she uses the momentum to turn your back to the wall, effectively locking you.

“got you,” she smiles brightly at you, a thousand watts on her lips.

the laughter comes to a gradual halt as silence blankets the both of you. her grin turns into a soft smile and her eyes felt endearing against yours. you couldn’t look at her in anything but adoration.

you anticipated it would happen. in fact, you hoped for it. but it still caught you by surprise when her lips press against yours. soft and gentle just like everything about her.

you wanted to press harder, for it to last longer. but you were already living in a dream and a second longer would be asking for too much.

jeemin pulls away in haste. you would’ve dived in for one more if you hadn't seen the panic flashing across her features. she blinks once, twice until the haze in her eyes clears.

she remained stiff for a moment. she looks up at you and the look of regret she gives you haunt you even after weeks.

“im sorry, i shouldn’t have,” she whispers, pupils still blown wide.

reassurance was a the tip of your tongue but you held back. but what were you going to say? that its fine and to just forget it ever happened?

immediately your mind reverts back to youngseo for a split second. it didn’t turn out well when you said that to her so what good would it do to say it to jeemin?

jeemin looks at your face, trying to make sense of your incomprehensible expression just to take a peak at your thoughts.

but each moment felt eternity to jeemin. and trepidation sets in her veins deeper and deeper until it roots and sprouts into anxiety. all while you weren’t aware of the consequences your silence had brought to her.

“jeemin-”

before you can finish, she was already out of door. from the practice room, you hear the echo of her dashing footsteps. as it died down, you were left wondering if you just let history repeat itself.