Bad day to be a cheesecake. || 21 š³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāā§ļø she/it || occasional sound designer/composer || Kamen Rider hyper fixation
I'm Monarch (she/it)! I'm 21 y/o, and a certified enjoyer of many things cool and awesome such as:
-Kamen Rider (this is my main hyper fixation rn, you WILL see alot of it and I'm NOT sorry) If you want my Definitive Thoughts on all the series i've watch so far, they'll be tagged with #monarchsbigkrthoughts
-Persona
-Hylics
-Shin Megami Tensei
- In Stars And Time
- OFF
- Guilty Gear
- Women
- Men (occasionally)
while this isn't exactly an nsfw/explicit blog, it is probably better for minors to not interact because I will more than likely reblog something nsfw at some point, if I haven't already.
I reblog things I like because I like them. they are for me and me alone.
that being said, for everyone over the age of 18, you're welcome to interact with me and my posts any way you see fit.
asks and messages are open (I think? lmk if they aren't)
the only thing I ask is don't be a dick or I'll smite you with the wrath of a thousand suns :)
my main tag is #monarchthoughts, although I use it very broadly.
my big thoughts on kamen rider are under #monarchsbigkrthoughts
my tierlists are under #monarchstierlists
also! I will update this as I gain new interests/remember interests that I can indulge in on this silly app
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
DPDR is such a wild experience because like how do I explain that sometimes Iām just on autopilot and watching my life happen and Iām ME, like itās not like DID or anything, I just donāt feel real or can place myself in space. Like a brain floating around a room with no physicality. Itās also so silly cause like bam I got on nerve pain medication (which severe chronic pain definitely contributed to me developing DPDR), started seeing a psychologist to process trauma, learned coping skills, and how to ground myself in space, and now Iām not on Spectator Mode. Itās awesome. Like bro this is great. Iām a Person existing and being Alive. Ā
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Polyamory is safe for work. Polyamory is safe for kids. Polyamory is safe for day time tv. Polyamory isnāt more sexual than any other relationship and it can be just as romantic, sweet, and healthy.
THEORIES/INTERPRETATIONS/DETAILS YOU SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR [2/2]
[This is an extremely wordy, essay-like post that mainly revolves around one Gordon's powers to change the Game's narrative. I had to get out of my chest somehow sorryyyy LOL. You don't have to read this though. If you want to skip this, you can go over here to the last part!]
[SPOILER FOR HLAGE AND HL2VRAI]
I think it is important to bring this old theory forward first, as it appears to be becoming more and more apparent, especially with the latest addition of HL2VRAI. Plus, most of my interpretation is based on this: Gordonās abilities to change/influence the game as the Player. I feel like this theory got lost over the years, especially with new fans coming in. So, now it is a good time to bring it up!
- In HL1VRAI, it is most apparent during Benreyās monologue in the Final Act, āI was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD, so Iām gonna be BAD.ā Before that, he kept warning Gordon to turn back and tried to convince him they were on much better terms than in reality, as if he knew what his fate awaits him. From this, we can determine that the Game factors in Gordonās perspective/thoughts/feelings at the expense of the AIās autonomy and role; additionally, we can also argue that Gordon manifested his own gun arm. Take into consideration that he called himself ādead weightā [Act 3: Part 2, 19:30] and laments that he could not protect his teammates and was forced to rely on them for support [Act 3: Part 3, 1:44]. Then suddenly, it is revealed that the game has an area with the exact solution to his problem??Ā (Darnoldās lab does not exist in the real game, mind you). While they wouldāve likely encountered Darnold on their way to the Lambda Labs, we would not have known about the gun arm mixture if Gordonās arm was never removed. Plus, Gordon had long accepted that he is a murderer and a war criminal, thus having his gun arm to be a literal part of his body could be a physical manifestation from that belief
- In the HL2VRAI Trailer, Dr. Coomer further emphasizes Gordonās role with the line, ā[...] The world revolved around you, Gordon, but without you? It still moves.ā
- HLAGE had very interesting indications. To list them off, Gordon replacing Alyx with himself (as āAlex Vanceā) clearly had some effect over her as we saw in HL2, cognitively, physically, and story position. He had completely displaced her to the point her own shadow was separated from her VR model. Do also notice how he did not give himself a backstory while he is āAlex,ā other than explaining the beginning premise of HLA of saving Eli, unlike when he was āGordon Freeman.ā [HLAGE, Act 1: Part 1, 15:50]. It could explain why in HL2, the AIs do not recognize who she is for this reason. However, I feel like it is a bit of a reach.
Moving on, the Final Episode culminates with the Red Gnome finally being able to fight, as Gordon had repeatedly expressed how much he wished the gnome could throughout the series. Quite akin to how he wished he had an arm to protect the Science Team. As a matter of fact, Red Gnome says to him: āIām a stone cold MUDERER! You taught me this! [...] I was innocent before I met you! You made me like! THIS! OH GOWDON, Iām a little Monster, like you now!ā [HLAGE, The End, 35:55]. The chapterās name also reflects this notion:
Sounds similar to Benreyās, doesnāt it?
Then, we have the Peppa Pig movie being ācreatedā by Gordon. In my personal interpretation, this is the AIsā way of saying he brought this consequence to himself.
I say this because Gordonās apathy, arrogance and naiveness is what brought us to this point. To quickly reiterate, I absolutely believe he is such a grey-coded character. He definitely has good intentions, but is deeply flawed as almost everybody in this series. He loves the AIs, sure, but more so like taking care of your toys and belongings, rather than an actual person. Think about it. When Dr. Coomer asked, āMust this really be the end of our time together? Perhaps you could take the science teamās data, transfer us somewhere else, hm? [...] Maybe a spare USB drive, or a⦠spare floppy disk?ā [HL1VRAI, The End, 53:08], did Gordon return the favor? Did Gordon even answer his calls all those 20 years (6 years in real time)? It doesnāt seem like it. When the Red Gnome said, āHow do I know that when this challenge is over, you wonāt just forget about me and stop taking care of me?! Can you take a bullet for me?ā [HLAGE, Act 1: Part 2, 17:29] Did Gordon prove him wrong? Or when he begged him to stay just a little longer, ā... and now we can hang out forever! [...] Do you want to restart the challenge..? We can play again!ā [HLAGE, The End, 38:08]? Sure, Gordon went back for him, but it was already too late, as we know. The damage has been done. The Gnome is gone for good. And all for what? Just to get a single achievement when there are many more he has to get? We see in both HL1 and HLA that Gordon does not stop for anything when it comes to beating the game, and not for anyone, thatās for sure.
Ā
We even see moments where it questions Gordonās morality. For instance, while Gordon was arguing with the gnome, the VOX says, āAlyx was a kind person. By being rude to the Gnome, you are desyncing with the Animus.ā [HLAGE, Act 2: Part 2, 37:29]. To elaborate a little, this line has always been on my mind because for 1.) It uses the past tense for Alyx as if it knew something had happened to Alyx or the Alyx the AIs know before is no longer there anymore. 2.) Gordonās animosity is strong enough to the point that it completely disregards someone elseās morality. And 3.) implies itās enough to derail one from the digital reality (the Animus is a VR device in the Assassinās Creed games to access your ancestorsā memories, btw). The next is when the VOX says, āCongratulations. That was the toughest part of the game [...] The Blue Gnome is an intended feature. Please be polite to him in the future.āĀ [Final Act: Part 2, 39:51]. While the Blue Gnome has very obvious flaws, he is still someone with real feelings and real thoughts, even if they are extremely skewed. Yet, despite the VOX pleading with Gordon, we know what fate awaited Blue. And lastly, when the Gnome asked in the end, āWeāre not good people⦠but you know that already, donāt you..? Can you live with all the choices you made? Were they fair to every one? Was Iā¦?ā [The End, 50:37] Interesting thing to say. Personally, Iāll say Gordonās choices were not always fair. Is it really fair to force yourself to be the leader and ignore your friendās pleas and needs, creating an unstable power dynamic, just so you can say you have beaten your goal?
In Scorpyās edition of Chronicles of Benrey, we see Benreyās perspective on this situation. To make this list shorter, Iāll transcribe what he has to say since I think it's pretty self-explanatory. You can see the screenshots right over here:Ā
āIs destruction really necessary for creation cause if so, then thatās soo annoying.ā
Blue: āWhat do you do if someone wronged you and nobody seems to really care about it?ā
Green: āDo you swallow that shit and move on?? Or do you start throwing your weight around??ā
Blue: āMaybe the problem is with others who canāt even put their foot down when someone acts inappropriately because amending their own values is uncomfortable.ā
Green: āI hate that someone crossing the line is seen as an āunfortunate thingā others have to deal with because everyoneās scared of standing on values and beliefs that come from themselves & not others.āĀ
āI donāt know what to do about this situation. Every outcome is terrifying.ā
On the VHS box cover, this little blurb caught my interest: ā[...] If you do nothing, nothing will happen. Do not mistake that as safety. Blame is paralysis. Change requires change. You can do this. I love you OK.ā I genuinely believe that Benrey is referring to Gordon here, especially with the āblameā line. If Gordon does not change his ways, nothing will change. And that nothing is something dangerous to keep poking at, as we saw the consequences in the ending of HLAGE. And you know, for Benrey to say this feels so⦠profound. Despite everything he has been through; despite still retaining the anger and hatred for Gordon, he still has faith in him. And I do too, which brings me to HL2VRAI.
- I think HLVRAI2 made this ability significantly apparent, most notably coming from Xar. During Act 1, he consistently tries to stop Gordon from observing the perpetual motion machine, which Christopher asserts that Gordon is āaffecting the outcomes.ā [1:24:00 and 1:25:26]. When you think about it, the Player really does determine the outcome of these games because they are the ones to set the story into motion. Like, Dr. Coomer said, āthe world revolves around [Gordon].ā Whatever they look at, what makes them interested, all of it culminates in what will happen in the end. Speaking of, the next thing Xar says in Act 2 is, āYou, have the Power to decide if we Live, or Die!ā [1:20:56] towards Gordon. This is true, given that we saw in the endings of the series, Gordon chooses who gets to be left alone (The Science Team) and who gets to die (Benrey, Red and Blue Gnome). Itās worth noting he also has the power to save everyone. He could have listened to Benrey and Red Gnome. He could have done what Dr. Coomer asked (which turns out to be the non-canon Payday 2 stream), but he did not.
Next, Xarās insistence for Gordon to do āpositive reinforcementsā for Stain. I think this is another āAIs telling Gordon to be nice ffsā moment and itās especially interesting considering Stain is a Barney Calhoun, just like Benrey is (and for the record, I do believe Stain is Benrey, but Iāll elaborate on that at another day lol. However, you cannot ignore that there is a connection, considering both Benrey and Stain are based on the same guy). His own Food Suit is keeping records of Stainās Heroic Alignment Ā (which increased up to -1. How low was Stainās alignment before???). Even Father Grigori has to remind Gordon that Stain is not a āthing,ā but a person.
Finally, we get to the part where Gordon says, āThis is the part where my best friend betrays me?ā [1:23:55]. Worryingly, after that, Xar expressed that someone might betray the group [1:32:33]. Itās significant because it feels like Act 2 is a parallel to HL1VRAI Act 3? Both involve Gordon being beaten to unconsciousness, ātortured,ā the mention of amputation is brought up in both acts (i.e. Gordon dumbly asked the Combines if he has to use the saw to amputate his leg), and topics of betrayal, right before entering Darnoldās lab. Yet, the difference is that nobody is exactly harmed or betrayed. In addition, what is truly highlighted in this section is when Gordon ultimately gives Stain full autonomy over his future; unlike with the others. He even considered Christopher his ābest friend,ā surprisingly. Gordon changed. Hopefully, for the better. Thus, I truly consider that his positive outlook saved everyone from having another Worst Day like HL1 Act 3. The characters bringing up betrayal could be a hint that something was supposed to occur here, but it didnāt. This post dotes on this! Check out the reblogs on there, too.
Side note, Xar is intriguing to me because as a vortigaunt, he automatically knows a lot more about what is going on far beyond Gordonās comprehension. However, his self-awareness grants him an additional level of comprehension regarding the Game and its inner workings. Although, just by observing his behavior, I actually think he mistakes his sentiency with intelligence lol. He knows a lot more than a typical NPC would; therefore, he likely believes he is far better than the others. It would make sense why he seems to be isolated from the other vortigaunts, when they like to be in packs, and gets along with other sentient AIs far better. I would definitely be focusing on what he has to say in the next future acts.
Also, Wayne tweeted briefly about the significance of Gordon as a Player that I think confirms there is more to him than meets the eye.
All of this to say, regardless of Gordonās apathy, how could he have known he has such power over the Games? How could he predict that bodyswapping Alyx was going to tear her own existence? He couldnāt have. The AIs didnāt know initially, either. There are so many conflicts in HLVRAI that could have been prevented, but there are just as many that cannot be prevented. The relationship between humans and AIs is so complex and complicated because it is the nature of such circumstances. They come from two different worlds where neither of them would fully comprehend each otherās existence. It is not Gordonās fault that he cannot understand the AIs and vice versa. Their relationship had always been doomed from the start, the moment the obsidian seal broke. Not even Gabe Newell, their own creator, could fully understand. But at least this time Gordon seems to start taking full responsibility. It is the best he could do.
For that reason, Dr. Coomerās explanation that Gordon and the Science Teamās decision to destroy the US military feels like an analogy to that aspect. A decision that they could not prevent because how would anyone know it wouldāve led to the worldās destruction? Itās the nature of things. They had to destroy the military to survive. This butterfly effect is going to start rolling down the hill into becoming so, so much worse.
Therefore, the consequences of what happened to Benrey, Alyx, and the Gnome are going to take effect in HL2VRAI, in my opinion. We even witnessed that with just the presence of Stain and Alyx. Interesting how the only people who seem out of place are those two, specifically with what we know about who they are supposed to be. Why else would the pig mention her Three Friends? Why does all three have a common factor that Gordon has wronged them in some way and they were once antagonistic? Why would they be related to the woods, the seeds, the girl, and the key?
Ā Unforeseen consequences, that is for sure.