i made you cum, don’t ignore me.
you’re the only person i don’t get tired of.
i hate you for looking so pretty today.
we look fucking cute together.
i just punched shit, let’s call it therapy.
in case there’s any confusion, you’re fucking mine.
you’re fucking adorable and adorably fuckable.
nothing feels better than having you in my arms. well, being inside you maybe, but that’s not really romantic.
teasing you is what i’m best at.
oh shut up, you love to disagree with me more than anything, it’s your favourite thing in the world.
don’t say ‘fight me’ unless you wanna have sex with me or you’re actually tryna catch a right hook.
the best way not to get your heart broken is to pretend you don’t have one.
if you can’t handle me at my worst than we already have something in common.
bitch, wake the fuck up.
i’d say we’re enemies with benefits.
will there be food at your funeral?
i love the little moans you make when i’m teasing you.
i think i’m falling in love with you and it scares the shit out of me.
netflix and rest your head on my thigh while i run my fingers through your hair?
please take care of yourself, i wanna keep you for a long time.
your face triggers me.
stop saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.
oh my god stop being a brat i’m on my way.
me loving you doesn’t make you any less annoying.
stop making me think about you.
i just wanna cuddle and have intellectual conversations.
i’ll seduce you with interesting scientific facts.
hold on i’m watching porn.
i’m high, bi and ready to cry.
the lengths you would go to in order to both get and avoid attention astound me.
‘what are you into’ is such a fucking broad question. what do i say to that? a tv show or choking?
never mind, i already did the stupid thing.
fall in love? bitch, i can’t even fall asleep.
i just ended a five year relationship but don’t worry, it wasn’t mine.
if rubbing alcohol fixes outside boo boo, then drinking alcohol fixes inside boo boo.
not to sound really gay and bitter but…
netflix and choke me though.
first of all, no. second of all, no.
i don’t know how to hit on him so he has to die.
i’m bored, give me attention.
i haven’t jacked off in like 2 days, call me fucking mother theresa.
he’s like twice my age but holy fucking shit he is so hot help me.
he’s turning me into a bottom. gross.
oh never mind i’m done being dramatic, i just got dicked down.
good morning i have already made 1 (one) bad decision and i show no signs of stopping.
go to bed. stop singing disney songs.
if i die i want you to have all my books.
stab him, i promise i’ll bail you out.
i feel like you’re trying to tell me what to do so i’m gonna do the opposite.
okie dokie artichoke me.
there’s so much wrong with us, but at least we’re beautiful.












