Well, I can say that I tried my hardest to work for you but when I felt you letting go awhile ago I decided to take the emergency hatch out and reinforce the walls on the next ship. This time there won’t be an intruder.
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@wollyworldson
Well, I can say that I tried my hardest to work for you but when I felt you letting go awhile ago I decided to take the emergency hatch out and reinforce the walls on the next ship. This time there won’t be an intruder.

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I know I’m going to lose you today. The writing has been on the wall. I don’t want to, I can’t lose you. But I know I haven’t been everything you wanted. So I guess it’s my fault
To my first love, thank you for nothing. You destroyed me. You kept calling me a liar. I didn’t know how to be myself. And I still don’t. I’m mentally fucked up from it. I can’t seem to be happy for myself because I worry to much about upsetting someone else.
To the ex that fucked me up the most, you left the biggest wound on my heart. I have sleepless nights because of you. I can’t trust a single person that tells me they love me. I feel like those words mean nothing to anyone. That all because of you. You faked your personality and dated me because I gave you everything you wanted, but you found love in the other 10 men that laid with you in bed. And to your husband I hope he knows your past. I hope and pray you have changed. I wish no one will ever be destroyed like you did to me. You killed me… you made me feel like I’m alone forever.
To my current girlfriend and soon to be fiancé. I’m so thankful you were willing to come here and pick up the pieces and you were willing to give me a chance. I’m sorry I’m so broken. I try to better myself everyday. I try to be better everyday and I know it’s hard sometimes to deal with me but I’m so grateful you handle it like you do. You mean everything to me. And I’m sorry for everytime I hurt you and everytime I forget to tell you how much you mean to me. I’m sorry
Even when I’m surrounded by love ones I still feel alone
I’m at my end

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And so I got deeper and deeper into my depression, I feel lost and confused with no purpose or direction. I feel like I lost to many people and there is no way to going back to what it was. I feel like a failure to my family and friends. But most importantly I feel like I’m a failure to you. I put my time and energy and being everyone you could ever want yet every jump I take feels like a slip and fall. I feel like we are going to reach a point where the volcano will explode and our ever longing love will die. That’s the point I fear the most. That’s the point that brought me to my sleepless nights. I can’t stop the nightmares I can’t control my head. I’m so far gone that I feel I’m already dead
We used to fight each other to get off the phone at night now I have to fight for you to stay on the phone.
We used to never want to be away from each other and spend the nights together. Now I feel like you can’t wait for me to leave.
I’m going to down a rabbit hole
I want to say I’m drowning but it’s hurt to speak underworld
I want to say I’m lost in space but it’s hard to talk with lack of oxygen
I want to fight to stay alive yet these days it’s hard to tell myself it’s going to be alright when I feel myself slipping into depression.
I hide it all away so no one knows. This is my journal. I hope when I’m gone people will see the pain I was going through.
Being an actor was always my dream, but had I known I would have used my skills to fake it in front of the people I love I would have never had ask for this talent.
To my love, you mean the world to me but I’m slowly feeling that I don’t mean that much to you. Am I just a toy you use til you find yourself? Does this permanent mark on our skin mean nothing to you? Is it really just me or do you keep telling me that because you don’t want me to know? My questions can go on and on for days because I feel like I can’t even trust anyone I was close to before. It feels like all a lie?
Honestly I feel lost.
Well I’m back and alone. More alone then ever, I fear the sound of silence yet these days are it’s so comforting. Maybe it’s my autophobia talking but being alone is so welcoming. The idea that if I die to dead I don’t have to worry about upsetting anyone. It’s relaxing

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If You Read This O.K., Text me Hey.
I want you to know, I want you. you left a Mark on my heart and it will forever be there. I love you, But I understand when you love something so much you have to let it go and hope it comes back to you. So I have to let you go, I have to move on and find someone that is willing to give me what I gave you. I fucked up our lives and I am sorry for that. I hope he gives you everything, I hope he makes you happy, I hope your family is proud of you. This is my last letter to you and probably my last time on this page for a minute. I need to take a time of silence for myself.
I’m lost without you, but sometimes you got to let go of something you love. I will miss you.
Miss you
I wish, you were here. I wish you were next me, Why do I feel so alone when you aren’t here. The room is full and everyone is laughing and drinking, I’m on the couch just wishing I wasn’t so alone Without you. Why aren’t you mine, all of mine and no one else’s.
I feel so lost. I’m sorry for everything. You can blame me for everything.
If she only know of this place she would know my tru pain that sits in my head.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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She hurts and so do I.
Why is it when I needed someone no one is there. But when I fix myself everyone comes around?