crybaby

The walls are paper thin and…

The walls are paper thin and I can always hear you having sex and honestly idk if i’m more jealous because i’m not getting any or irritated because it’s keeping me up at night?

The walls are paper thin and you’re always singing in the shower, and honestly you’re terrible but idk how to tell you, so I’ve just started to play music over you but you seem to know every song and it only makes you sing louder??

The walls are paper thin and you just heard the brutal break up of me and my ex, and now you’re trying to comfort me through the walls and it’s kinda awkward but it’s also helping so?

The walls are paper thin and every night I watch jeopardy and I guess you’re really smart because every night you shout out the correct answer and at this point I’m not sure there’s a question you can’t answer?

The walls are paper thin and I hear you having obnoxious parties every night, and I would be mad but at the end of it all I can hear you crying yourself to sleep and i’m actually kind of worried about this lifestyle you’re living?

The walls are paper thin and i’m not even really sure how it started but every night we have conversations about our day over dinner and at this point idk why I haven’t just invited you over? 

You broke into my apartment… (also works the other way around)

You were drunk and you broke into my apartment and I would call the cops but you’re kind of out like a light so I’d kind of feel bad but you bet your ass i’ll be waiting for you to wake up until morning so I can ask who the fuck you are?

You were drunk and you broke into my apartment and when you found out this wasn’t your friend’s apartment you started crying and I really don’t know what to do?

You were drunk and you climbed in through my apartment window and I’m not really sure how you managed it because not only is the fire escape broken but you are really fucking plastered? Please, teach me your skills?

You broke into my apartment to avoid something and you won’t really tell me what it is and i’m actually kind of afraid you might be a murderer so why shouldn’t I call the cops?

You snuck into my apartment to avoid your ex while my door was open for groceries and I got so scared I spilled the milk everywhere?

You broke into my apartment while I was out for whatever reason and when I came home I knocked you out and now you’re unconscious on my floor and idk what to do?

We always see each other in the elevator…

We always see each other in the elevator during our walk of shame and it’s gotten to the point where we just share our escapades now and why haven’t we slept together yet?

We always see each other in the elevator and it’s inanely awkward because we both live on the top floor of this really tall apartment complex and we always ride in silence because the one time I tried talking to you I fucked up REALLY bad.

We always see each other in the elevator and now we’ve gotten stuck because of a power outage so really, I guess we should get to know one another at this point.

We always see each other in the elevator and it’s blatantly obvious you’re terrified of them even if you insist you aren’t.