BETTER FIND ANOTHER SUPERSTITION

ok this is jsut a random thought i had just now so tell me what you think. ok so you talked before about how bizhiw kinda thinks like "why would anyone wanna be me" like its not an active self hatred hes just chilling but if someone envied him outright he wouldnt understand it. and his two closest friends, xavier and anne, are quite stubborn and closeminded people (albeit in different ways). so it made me curious like, why would these two specific people be the ones he chooses to be the closest to? because bizhiw is very easygoing, easygoing but also wants to latch onto people as much as possible, to the point where he still wants to be close to bad ending xavier because even though xavier completely lost themself and literally kills people, bizhiw doesnt wanna be left alone. so i feel like maybe bizhiw would also just kinda lack a backbone even before the prophecy adventure starts? and hes so close to these two people specifically BECAUSE theyre different. anne and xavier act as the moral compasses for him, they balance him, so he doesnt have to think for himself because maybe he feels having such strict "standards" will just isolate him and make him lonely. and he cant have that. and honestly this mindset of his is just supported because anne IS so lonely because of how strict she is with her standards towards other people, and while xavier gets along with everyone, once he goes on the adventure and becomes shadow xavier and he just gets deeper in that pit he becomes so alone too. i think bizhiw wants to be as consumable for other people because it all comes back to how he yearns for the past he built up in his head. in the past he had anne and xavier and they didnt have to worry about anything and their issues seemed so small! he wants to be that way forever thats why he cant handle it when they start leaving

GOOD SHIT! i like to imagine bizhiw is so anchored to xavier and anne because despite how different they are, he sees himself in both their personalities and it allows him to show more sides of himself and be more open minded as opposed to only sticking with whats familiar. since hes accustomed to seeing vastly different personalities between his 2 best friends i imagine he could relate to shadow xavier in the fact that theres parts of everyone that people keep hidden to themselves so despite shadow xavier being…well shadow xavier, he finds a comfort in knowing that even his best friend can have unexpected things behind closed doors (and also that at the end of the day xavier is still xavier and he cant separate the two because that just IS xavier)

also, i appreciate how he lets himself have contradictory thoughts and actions, as you note. because again, it really does solidify the "unity" aspect of him, where he just is able to accept a lot of stuff about himself and others. i think his main conflict isnt morality or identity in regards to himself unlike xavier (and anne, to an extent), but more external concepts like that "wanting to capture the happiness of the past" thing i mentioned. hes a genuinely happy and content person, so of course he wants both himself and others to feel like that forever! so when people start leaving and he can't change it, that feeling starts slipping. because that "unity" part of him is starting to break up.