Um suspiro pesado lhe deixara os lĂĄbios, nĂŁo era nenhuma novidade que a fachada de agressividade a fosse mostrada e tĂŁo pouco que o outro se negasse a cooperar com qualquer que fosse as sugestĂ”es dadas para a sua enventual momentĂąnea recuperação. â â Ok. Letâs try it again, youâre going to go and shower. Then weâre going to eat something and then I can give you as many bottles as you like, but first you have to compose yourself. â â Seus olhos finalmente tomaram a figura alheia em consideração seu peito se apertando pelo estado deplorĂĄvel em que o moreno se encontrava. Parte de si sentia a culpa de ter o deixado assim, ainda que parte de sua mente calmamente a lembrava que as coisas nĂŁo tinham seguido este exato caminho, ainda assim a culpa lhe corroĂa mais do que qualquer resquĂcio da raiva que a consumiria nos derradeiros dias do relacionamento.  â â Listen, youâre not pretty fucking good. Actually youâre a mess. Look at yourself! You donât even look like yourself. And youâre smelling like a roadside bathroom disguised with scotch and before you go all then leave If you donât like It on me, letâs just get out of the way that Iâm not leaving. So can you listen to me just this once? â âÂ
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TRANSCRIPT OF THE HIGHLIGHTS: Entrevistada da semana Abbadon de Rosas, inte e trĂȘs anos, cantora e atriz. (@mosquinhainthewall)
So, not to be that kind of guy, but I feel like to know you personally, we should brush over your personal life. And that includes past relationships.Despite having dated a couple celebrities, I think your most recent and most high-profile partner was that one guy. So... you have dated the butcher. Girl, what the hell was it like?
A: It was like a roller-coaster ride, you get in very excited and you get scared halfway through, you scream a lot, you get your heart racing and you leave that shit shaking and wanting to puke for your own bad decisions and still wanting to do It again. It's fucking nuts, because he's a really charming person and he can really make you fall in love like right off the bat, but the guy is also an asshole who has a lot of issues and there is a point that people just can't take It anymore, the whole sex, drugs and rock n' roll It's too real to be good and It's fucking awful to see. He's good in bed, tho, I have to give him that. When he's not passing out drunk, he's a great boyfriend.
A:Â It's because everything already went to hell, so fuck It. He's going to be pissed off at me anyway, so might as well just say it for once. I'm not going to bash on him for that, there's a lot of fucked up shit going on and that has happened before that makes the whole thing make sense, but like there are other things that just make everyone around him be in a constant state of alert and It's tiring. Yeah, I'm not the easiest person to deal either, but like, even I got limits. Well, that's the thing, like when you love someone as much as I love him you don't want to admit that you can't help and that the whole thing is becoming something that's eating you alive, you don't want to say âenoughâ because that means giving up, that means putting your feelings above someone elseâs needs, but sometimes we have to. It wasnât toxic and I know It sounds like something someone in a toxic relationship would say, but the thing about Dragan is that everyone thinks that he is the "butcher" for things that he's done to others when in reality the only person he's hurting is himself, he just doesn't see nor understand how that can affect people around him. It's fucked up? Totally, I won't deny it that it got to the point where my parents stepped in and where like 'maybe you should spend some time in Argentina and just step back' but it wasnât like a toxic or abusive thing where I didn't knew what I was doing. I don't think I dealt with that, because, like, there's no stopping someone with a drinking problem, they won't just put the bottle down and listen, you just have to be there and try to make them see and, well, take care of them after.
So, tiring, you say? Why is it tiring? What is tiring? What happened, if I might inquire. Well, if we really analyze it, no one is actually easy to deal with. We are complex beings with even more complex emotions, so I guess the best we do is just try and navigate feelings and situations in the less crappy way possible. But sometimes, we are driven to the extreme and that makes it very hard to take control of certain situations. I guess what I'm trying to say is that mental health sometimes requires a little bit of what might seem like selfishness, but it's actually not. I mean, you can be empathetic and sympathetic, compassionate even, but people shouldn't expect you to put your needs aside all the time just to think about others. In order to actually be helpful, you must be in a good place about your own feelings, so it doesn't become a vicious cycle of resentment and problematic situations, you know? So I get what you're saying. Besides, if we really weigh things... you're pretty young. Not a kid, of course, but rather young when compared to him. You shouldn't put your health and your youth aside to try and nurse a dysfunctional adult back to good shape while wasting yourself in the process. Love is as much about letting go as it is about being there for someone else. So if you say it wasn't toxic, I believe you. As an outsider, I might not have the full picture, so I can't step in and say you're wrong about how you see the things you went through. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been, to watch someone dear slowly waste away, you know? I guess with alcohol and any other addictions, really, itâs kinda complicated to make the person see how damaging that habit is. I guess they don't see themselves in bad shape. I think at this point, it's only fair to assume you saw the worst of it, as you said you took care of him during his drunken haze. How was it for you? Where did you get the strength to do it?
A:Â The whole thing, I guess. Because you're constantly thinking if that person is going to do stupid shit because he's high or If he's high because he's about to go into a depressive episode, and the later itâs not really his fault, you can't really blame someone for, like, trying to cope and just kill what's killing them, but for someone who's around and who's emotionally involved in that process, not knowing can be tiring. I don't think really the age It's a factor, I've been in Hollywood for so long that I can tell you that having a relationship with someone I loved, fucked up or not, was the least of the things I did that can be put out as wasting myself. I'm really afraid that I havenât seen the worst, because If that's true then it's really even more of a risk and it just breaks my heart. I have no Idea, never thought about It. And I'm being totally honest right now when I say I really didn't gave that much of a though on that when It was happening, because It's easier that way.
Yeah, I hear you. You did start on this business at a very young age, and had your share of trouble, with your image and your habits and all that pressure over your shoulders. You coming out on top of that situation and standing in a brighter and more hopeful place is kind of an statement that you can get out of harms way. But having been there, at rock bottom might have given you a different perspective in that whole situation. Tell me... did your experiences made ir more difficult to be involved in it? I mean, I can only imagine you must have felt dragged back into something you were just getting out of. Also, I would like to reinforce that any questions that make you feel uncomfortable, just give me a heads up and we'll move on. This a conversation and in no way I would like to seem intrusive. And on a brighter note... let's be a little intrusive, as well, because I'm simply human and I am curious in an almost voyeuristic way... how were the good times like?
A:Â Very young. I was a baby And it's not just that, when you're in Hollywood everyone that is around ends up affecting how people see you, like, I was 17 going into rehab for a sex addiction that I didn't have because people around me had a problem and everyone thought that I had a problem too, then. I would like to say that it made it easier, but I think that It definitely was difficult, it brings a certain anxiety every time shit goes down. But I didn't felt dragged, that's actually really a point, people often think that he was, like, a bad influence, like, making me do drugs or other stuff, when he wasnât, he was very against people taking drugs and getting pissed drunk. A little hypocrite? Of course. Don't worry, I'm fine for now, I think It's the wine. And... it was great. As I said, roller-coaster, when you're on the top It's just the best feeling ever and he was a really sweet person.
I wouldn't say hypocrisy, I kinda get it. I mean, real friends wouldn't offer you drugs, and as a drug addict, it makes sense that he knows how dependent you get on those things and not wanting people he cares about to end up in the same situation. I have a friend who struggled once with addiction and he used to say that very same thing: people who care about you will never want you to go down on the same path as them, because they know how hard addiction gets and no matter how good the rush, itâs just not worth bringing loved ones down. I mean, junkies still harm people they care about, even though in a different way, but I guess in their thought process, it makes perfect sense to make that kind of damage control. Oh, it's good wine, I'm getting kinda tipsy as well. So, that's difficult for me: seeing him as a sweet person. With all the troubles you went through, I have no problems actually imagining you as very nice. And to be honest, I'm delighted to see that you actually are. When it comes to Dragan, however, it's nearly impossible for me to look at him an think 'oh, there goes a nice dude'. I guess it must have something to do with how he is usually pictured in the media but, to be honest, he kinda paints those images himself, with all the reckless behavior, the aggression and the sexual scandals... and his infamous birthday party, of course. I can only assume that must have been another complication, since he is very evasive and closed off to the point of getting violent, whereas you're really open about most things. Did it cause some clash of opinions? How did you manage the public image issues?
A:Â I get It, I really do, but it's hard not get angry towards It when the person Is getting angry saying that he doesnât have a problem and then be like 'Yeah, but you can't do this or that because then you will have a problem', It just makes you sigh and go like âoh, please, just don'tâ. But he is. He is lovely when he's not having cameras shoved on his face. Well, thank you, It's good to know that I'm not being mean, people tend to say that I look mean. It's just... he tries really hard coming off as not caring and sometimes he can be an asshole, I mean it, the biggest asshole of all, but most of the time he is this great guy that even when you say shit will just help you anyway and try to be kind. And he has the best date ideas and getting away landscapes. A lot. But It is just another thing that we worked around, like I don't mind paparazzis, but he does, so I know that I'm not dragging him to, like, Four Seasons or whatever when I know It's going to cause him anxiety. And It's just common sense I guess.
Well, the people who say you're mean clearly haven't made the smallest effort to actually know you. And don't worry, if I come off as flirty, let me warn you that I am very much gay. So I'm totally not hitting on you now. I guess having a personality and standing up for yourself might come off as mean nowadays, buck fuck people who say that, honestly. I mean... still hard to believe, even with you saying he is nice and all that, I still have a hard time believing he would not try to get me killed for posting this interview, you know? You said it yourself: he'll most likely get angry, and publicly, that doesn't tend to end up well. Getting dark here again, so I'll try to mix things up. Still relationship wise, I have to ask: sex stuff. How was it? Don't judge me, you've seen the butcher and I speak for the people saying I would like to know how was that.
A:Â Oh, thank you! Well, don't worry, I'm used to coming off as flirty, I know how It's like. I have a friend If you're single, I'm trying to set him up with someone with actual decency. He's not, maybe he'll say something about It If asked and It might get a little heavy, but like It's only because as you said, he is very closed off...And It isnât your fault, the most likely one to end up with the fault It's me, preach. Oh... I've seen the butcher, alright. You know when people tell you that someone is really good at bed and has a big dick and you don't believe them and then you find out it's actually better and bigger? That's how It was like.
Oh, if you're talking about your co-star, we know you two dislike each other and we'll talk about that in the next section of the interview. If not, thanks anyway, but I have been happily married for a couple years now. God, this is getting racy. I won't even ask anymore because we have to keep things at a bare minimum not safe for work. But well, I guess now the internet would be driven wild: theories that the butcher has a big dick have been confirmed first-hand by his ex-girlfriend. On that note... You've seen the butcher. Not the naked man, the song. Some people say it's about you. Some people speculate many of the songs he wrote are about you, which is an interesting thing to say, since the man can get really poetic. I mean, at least lyrically, he is very versatile, being able to write the most sexual things one minute and switch to the most deep and depressing words the other. I guess what I'm trying to say... can you confirm or deny you're the subject in that piece of music? Because said theory also sparked rumors that you two have been a thing longer than the public eye knows, with some even daring to say he started a physical relationship with you before you were a legal adult, which is controversial, to say the least. I really have no formed opinion on this, since those comments came after a few interpretations of the song, which can be a little absurd, with some claiming is about taking a girl's virginity (said girl would be you, in their version of the facts), some saying it's just about sex with no deeper meaning and some more radical individuals claiming is about a serial killer.
A:Â No, I'm not talking about Florian, and he doesnât dislike me, he hates me. Oh, that's cute, my parents are happily married for so long that I'm sometimes ashamed that I don't have a long-lasting relationship. Well, I can assure you that things only get more NSFW, so It's better not to ask... I don't know about that, like, he never told me anything about writiing for me, so I can't really be that much of a helping hand on this matter, but the whole underage thing is not true. I will let recorded for further actions that I did not slept with Dragan while I was underage, you can rest now internet avengers. And I do think It's about sex with no deeper meaning, but I don't know, I didn't wrote it. How that fuck is that about a serial killer? That doesnât even make sense! That song is clearly about sex. Like the other song that it's about oral sex, there's no deeper thing, that's it. It's about sex.
âź âș ITâS A TRAGEDY » THE WAY HE LOVES YOU  â âź
I donât wanna drown in you Iâm sinking, then Iâm torn in two so when you see me come up for air sonât try to hold me down, just (( save )) me now donât let me drown in you
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â â Why not? Did the gods told you not to tell anyone? Because thatâs suspicious, thatâs weird. Interesting, well, the goddness says itâs taken care of, so maybe itâs taken care of, youâll find it out tonight when you met her for dinner. Wedding ring? No. That actuallly comes as a suprise to me, when they sent me in there you didnât had anything on you other than your clothes. Iâll, however, look into that with the girls who broght you inside. Iâm sure that they must have put away somwhere safe if itâs with them. Sorry about that, If I knew it I would have recovered it before you woke up. SoâŠYour wife, or husband, what is their name? â
O SORRISO EXPRESSADO NĂO TRANSPASSAVA O SUPERFICIAL, como lhe era de hĂĄbito, senĂŁo que unia-se ao olhar despido de brilho, dando forma Ă expressĂŁo de falsa tranquilidade que adornava o semblante de Dragan. Quer fossem os olhos injetados em sangue ou a incomodidade denotada pelos maneirismos â as unhas a rascunhar com insistĂȘncia o grosso tecido cicatricial do antebraço direito e a perna irrequieta â era explĂcito seu mau estado, porcamente velado por sob a falsa projeção de displicĂȘncia. Desde a distĂąncia de seu assento, a observava com embriagada atenção, manifestando uma carĂȘncia quase infantil. Ousasse se levantar e, certamente, lhe falharia o equilĂbrio. Assim, limitara-se a mudar a posição no sofĂĄ. â I came to see you. âCause I miss you like hell, despite you driving me crazy half the time. Donât you miss me too? And the booze would be fucking great right now, so Iâll accept your offer. I also want to be around you, so why donât you come here and sit with me, so we can talk shit without even noticing as the hours go by, just like old times? I promise Iâll be a fucking gentleman and all that crap... unless you donât want me to. âÂ
REMOVIDO DE SEUS DEVANEIOS PELA CURIOSA VOZ, nĂŁo pudera evitar observar sua dona, com explĂcito fascĂnio. Sob o pĂĄlido tecido molhado, descansando diretamente contra a pele, parecia toda uma visĂŁo divina. A figura era assistida quase com desvelo, os olhos tardando alguns segundos para serem desviados dos quadris alheios, com uma esquiva pouco discreta seguida por uma tosse forçada. â I canât really talk about that with you. Or anyone, really. I am only allowed to say it was important. And thatâs why Iâm so eager to leave this island and finish it. I was wondering... do you know what happened to my wedding ring? âÂ
â â No, itâs a primordial goddness blessing and domain. I think she can handle you for a little bit. WellâŠItâs bad, really bad. I did my best, but I still think it will leave some scars, I couldnât let you sleeping on your side because of your ribs and wellâŠItâs bad, letâs just leave like that. I know, but itâs a calm and not so deep lake. Well, as you wish. Itâs hard to pretend youâre not here because I will be looking straight at you and I have to keep an eye out to make sure you wonât just drop dead and everyone gets pissed off at me for taking a swim while you choke on your blood. â
â â Yes, it isâŠÂ â Com os olhos fechados deixava-se por absorver a sensação de calor vinda do sol e o conforto da paz que o local lhe trazia. â â Both, I guessâŠIt has a metaphorical way, but I was talking about the literal way, the water has healing proprieties due to Talassaâs blessing, itâs okay if you donât want to take off your clothes, I can dry them later, just come on. â Com cuidado Abbadon se aproximou oferecendo as mĂŁos, mesmo sabendo que poderia se machucar com o ato. â â Let me help you get in the water, I promise you, you wonât regret it. â
â Wouldnât I spoil the lake, with the death gift? And how bad exactly is the thing in my back? Does it really need the blessed thing to heal? Because as I said, Iâm not really comfortable with the idea of going into water. As you might imagine, it has a lot to do with the fact that I drowned, so... why donât you just go in, Iâll rest for a little while and then Iâll follow? Iâll even take my clothes off so you donât have to dry them off. Besides, Iâm sure you donât want to be with me. Youâll even have some time to pretend I am not even here. â
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â â Thank you, I try to be honestly true to my feelings towards strangers. Keeps them humble. Oh, I already saw you naked, donât worry, I trust and agree when you say thereâs nothing to do with shame. â Com passos apressados Abbadon seguiu o mais alto, as mĂŁos nĂŁo tocando realmente o corpo alheio, mas definitivamente posicionadas como para auxĂlio caso este viesse a cair ou sentir alguma necessidade de apoio. â â Do you need a cane? Or maybe a wheelchair? I would offer for you to take support on me, but that would be very problematic and nothing pratical, you would probably hurt your back too. Well, the goddness is busy, but sheâll join everyone for dinner, so letâs just kill some time and get you out in the sun for a while before you can go meet her and maybe sheâll even answer your doubts. Iâm sure sheâll understand your impatience much more than I do. Donât worry, I wonât lead you to any deadly traps, Iâm simply wanting to take you on a nice walk in fresh air, you can punish me for the good deed with your unsolicited opinions. Iâll take you to the lake, I have a feeling that you might enjoy it and it even may heal your wounds a litte. â
â No, I can walk just fine, just lead the way and Iâll be right behind you... or in this case, beside you. â
[...]
TRĂS UMA CAMINHADA NĂO TĂO BREVE, dada a lentidĂŁo e inabilidade dos prĂłprios passos, finalmente alcançaram a clareira situada a poucos metros do mencionado lago. Embora percebesse a beleza do entorno, era incapaz de realmente desfrutĂĄ-la, o prĂłprio foco estando quase que exclusivamente destinado Ă s dores que acometiam-no. Sem tardar, permitira-se cair sobre os prĂłprios joelhos. Vagarosamente acomodando-se sentado sobre a grama que, parcimoniosamente, adquiria uma tonalidade doentia e cinzenta sob o corpo do homem. â Well, itâs a nice place... peaceful, even. But Iâm not really feeling the water thing, you know? You said something about wound healing... did you mean it in a metaphorical or literal way? â
â Well, for someone so needlessly hostile, youâre very sincere. Iâll give you that. It would be disrespectful to force my nakedness upon others without any spoken consent. I am the outsider, after all, so I have no knowledge whatsoever of how your enclosed society functions. The least I can do is try and be... private. It has nothing to do with shame, trust me. â Replicara, rumando com curtos passos Ă porta que lhe havia sido mostrada tantas vezes ao longo da conversa. â Well, I have no fucking clue about anything regarding this island, despite your brief description that sounds like literally any other island ever. Were I to be honest, and my immediate answer would be that I would like to see Circe. However, I am pretty sure thatâs a long shot. So... Iâll simply go wherever you want me to go. Youâre the one who knows your way around this place. So Iâll just follow you, in blind faith. How stupid of me, but what can I do? Doesnât feel like I have much of a choice. â
â â Oh. So youâre one of those people. I do agree on that, aceppting your fate must be the smartest choice, specially as a demigod since the gods tend to have a liking in playing with our kind instead of just chopping our heads off when they get angry. â Naquele momento havia quase uma certeza de que aquilo era uma punição, de alguma maneira tinha irritado a deusa suficientemente para que ela lhe encarregasse da pior pessoa entre aqueles que estavam a bordo do navio naufragado. Ela poderia contar mentalmente todas as garotas que seriam muito mais adequadas para aquele tipo de personalidade e que se adaptariam muito mais facilmente a irritação presente constantemente toda vez que a boca do filho de Tanatos se abria. â â All words are empty concepts, thatâs why they are words, not actions. I belive in you when you say all of that, I just donât care. Well, I care about your health since you were put under my watch and care while youâre ill, but other than that? Itâs quite clearly that you and I are most likely to get into a fight than engange in a friendly conversation, be my guest to be as reluctant as you want, but that will only steal you time, not give it since I need to heal your wounds. Iâm starting to wish that you were still in coma. Maybe we thought that you werenât going to be a problem, since no one else was, but maybe we were wrong. I said harmless, not defenseless, harmless only means I wonât stab you just because I want to, but if you try something I will fight, of course. As you wish, Dag. Beautiful name. Would you like to go outside? Iâm sure I can find a way to help you with that, are you hungry? â
â It depends, Abbadon. What do you mean by those people? â Preso nas prĂłprias reflexĂ”es, dera pouca importĂąncia e atenção Ă s palavras proferidas pela moça. NĂŁo que os ouvidos nĂŁo captassem as palavras ditas de maneira quase contundente, no entanto, encontrava-se em um estado em que era completamente incapaz de realmente considerar o peso das sentenças de outrem. Destarte, dera de ombros, satisfeito com a conclusĂŁo de incompatibilidade exposta pela mulher. â Of course. Itâs a good thing, then, that we are not actively trying to be friends. Or even colleagues, for that matter. Iâm a prisoner, youâre my guard and thatâs the extent of our interaction. I understand you have to tend to me against your wishes, so donât worry, Iâm not forming any wrong ideas here. Still, my position stands. I am not compliant or courteous, and I think you understand that just as well as I understand your position. Trust me, I wish I was still in a coma. Because that would mean I wouldnât have to actively deal with this situation. If your people donât want me to be a problem, then you simply shouldnât turn me into one. I wonât do anything with no motive, I can assure you. So how this ends is entirely up to you. Alright then, harmless girl. Still not trusting you regarding that, but whatever. And I would like to go outside, yes. But I think clothes are a more urgent matter, since it doesnât seem right for me to walk around the Island with nothing but these sheets covering my body. â
â Well, itâs only fair. I donât have to touch people to cause harm, as well. It would be sort of cruel to hold others in such a disadvantage. Besides, if my words must put me in harms way, so be it. I wonât stop voicing my thoughts simply because of that. Honesty is a virtue, and I am proud to say I carry it. Regarding my gifts... I am a vessel of death. And despite what it represents, I am quite comfortable with that fact. Itâs inevitable, after all. And if I must kill everything I come in touch with, then simply accepting my fate is the smartest choice. â Por primeira vez, voltara os olhos ao prĂłprio corpo, analisando em que estado se encontrava. Hematomas espalhavam-se por toda a extensĂŁo do tĂłrax e do abdĂŽmen inferior, ao menos, nas fraçÔes descobertas em que alcançava a ver. Tinha certeza de que alguns lastimados lhe cabiam, visto que os prĂłprios dons terminavam por acometĂȘ-lo em circunstĂąncias de estresse. NĂŁo obstante, nĂŁo deixava de perguntar-se qual havia sido a extensĂŁo da catĂĄstrofe, para rendĂȘ-lo Ă inutilidade temporĂĄria. Esforçava-se por lembrar o que havia ocorrido ainda no mar, no entanto, apenas espaços vazios pareciam habitar suas remembranças. Frustrava-no, sequer compreender as circunstĂąncias de seu encarceramento velado. E assim, nada lhe restava que nĂŁo contar com a esperança de que o sol tornasse a brilhar em suas experiĂȘncias, lhe trazendo ao menos fragmentos do acidente. O instinto, afinal, lhe dizia que a despeito de as insinuaçÔes de Abbadon apontarem ao nĂŁo envolvimento de Circe no naufrĂĄgio, a probabilidade disto era mĂnima. O barco, pois, sequer rumava Ă ilha e, estranhamente, ali havia terminado. â Your words are nothing but empty concepts, my dear. Concepts light as feathers, and the wind simply carries them away. I am not feeding ideas of greatness, but rather being quite rational regarding what happened. I have reasons to believe us ending up here wasnât a random twist of fate. And that angers me, I wonât lie. And if there is one thing Iâm not known for, that thing is carefulness when it comes to egocentric gods. Especially when they interfere with my tasks. Therefore, I am quite displeased with my current situation. You call me ungrateful, but we both know I have plenty of reasons to be suspicious and reluctant. Oh, please... I donât buy your act of harmlessness. You wouldnât be alone with me if you were actually a defenseless creature. My name? Itâs Dragan, my dear. And you can call me by it. I donât like the intimacy of nicknames. â
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