unfortunate man enjoyer

As much as I love POC primarchs, I also love their foster parents having a "go white boy go" attitude toward everything they do

Webway's finished an Emps is holding off on leaving Terra cause who's gonna look after Celestine? He's so paranoid that something's gonna happen to her after what he went through with his other kids, that he won't let anyone except the custodes and malc watch her. Every time she leaves his sight, she's covered in so many anti warp/psyker wards that most people don't even know she has wings cause the wards affect her powers as well. Malcador comments about him smothering her, but he can't help himself

Need the emperor looking a mess while trying to breastfeed and complete paperwork at the same time. He lifts the papers to his breast instead of the baby levels of tired.

10k years of torture stuck to a golden chair while your body rots and everything you built turns to ash, really is cosmic karma for the powers Emps stole and the trillions that died during the crusade

Primarch pregnancy pact where way too many many of them agree to get pregnant at the same time, thus causing an administrative nightmare as they all go on maturity leave.

You're telling me the alpha legion never spread rumours of the emperor having a confirmed birth date, just to watch the chaos unfold as the entire imperium scrambles to find suitable gifts for a man that's been around since the dawn of time and is rarely impressed by anything.