𝐋𝐔𝐗.

“get out, you two. i will be taking a shower, now. unless you’ll join me?” he retorted, clearly joking. jake and sunghoon let out a fake gagging noise as they fled to the room shutting the door behind them.

jay tutted before heading to the bathroom to take a nice cold bath so he won’t feel drowsy once the practice set off. when he’s done, he wore a plain black shirt and a tapered jeans. he took one last look in the mirror and then head out where his friends are waiting for him.

the two dragged him as they walked at their university.

their fangirls screaming, pulling out their phones to take a video and even a photo of them so they could post it on their social media, glazing and whatnots.

meanwhile jake and sunghoon winked at them to make their delusions comes true. they are always doing fan service except jay because for him, it’s stupid.

jay shake his head, disgusts written all over his face as his friends kept throwing flirty glances to their fans.

“can you both stop? this isn’t what i wanted to see first thing in the morning.”

the two snapped their head at jay, hands on their chest, offended.

“as if we like seeing you drooling over your sheets first thing in the morning, oh please.”

jay clenched his jaw, embarrassed as his ears turned red. he immediately run towards their spot where they practice while the others run after him, laughing and making fun of jay.

the practice session began, sunghoon has a bass guitar, jay has an electric guitar and as for jake, he is the vocalist of the band. they were playing on the strings trying to get the notes right before they start. the camera is set up in front of them so they can watch it after they are done with their practice and see what they were lacking.

the song they will use as a sample is watermelon sugar by harry styles, they think it goes well with the weather today. the deep growling noise vibrated around the area as the people nearby whipped their head toward the sound playing in the background. you were there with your friends, you froze at the spot while your friends’ chatter fade away from behind you as you listen intensively.

your eyes sparkled because park jongseong, the man who’s been preoccupying your thoughts is there—playing with the strings of his electric guitar that should have been y—

“you’re not even listening to us, y/n!”

“she’s daydreaming about a wedding with jay, i guess.”

“look at her sparkly eyes, lord, she’s spellbound by jongseongs’ guitar skills.”

the three girls teasing continues however you only playfully rolled your eyes at them, dismissing them off by waving your hands at them. yunjin, chloe and hanni cling their arms around you, dragging you to stop you from zoning out because of your crush.

it was supposed to be a little crush, something that is supposedly an admiration from how talented jay is but you can’t stop thinking about the guy. he’s everywhere. you tried everything to avoid him to stop having feelings yet his presence is powerful and people kept talking about him wherever you go. also, you are in the same class as him. you were fucked, indeed.

the class has started.

you have a chemistry subject and your professor assigned a group project by pair. you squeeze your eyes shut. this is what you hated the most because you preferred to be working alone than to be paired by someone you’re not even going to get a long with.

“yunjin and…. jake? yeah, you two need to work together. it’s time for you both to stop being lazy and relying on someone smarter than you.”

the students gasped, stifling their laugh from the savage remark of their professor. as for jake and yunjin who have their head hang low due to the embarrassment. nonetheless, the last statement isn’t true—they are smart, quick-witted but kind of lazy.

and then the others got mentioned, names that you haven’t seen together or heard interacting. people who used to be friends, hated on each other and there’s you and jay.

“y/n, you’re paired with park jongseong. the deadline for this project is on ninth of march. good luck, everyone. class dismissed.”

the world stopped, you and jay. you should be celebrating because he is your partner for this project but all you can feel is your hands sweating as well as your body heating up.

no, i need to keep my distance with him.

you heard someone cleared their throat beside you, making you jump on your seat. you turned your head, looking over your shoulder and you saw jay staring up at you.

“so… when are we going to start this project?”

you clenched your fist, mustering up the courage to speak with confidence as this is your first interaction with your crush.

“tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow at my house.”

he’s scrutinizing your features, nodding deliberately. “alright then, see you tomorrow?”

“see you…”

────────

“damn, prof literally embarrassed me in front of the whole class. that was so… humiliating. how am i supposed to bag a baddie now?” yunjin cried out, dramatically.

“pft. you’re going to bag an f grade, girl, not some baddie you’ve been dreaming of.” chloe sarcastically rebutted at yunjin.

yunjin scowled at her and was about to throw a punch but stopped by hanni.

“let’s talk about y/n and jay being paired together in chemistry at that…” hanni smirked while the other girls have that knowing smiles on their faces looking like some lunatic.

you shift in your seat uncomfortably while their eyes are fixed on you.

“oh fuck, i almost forgot about that. so… how does it feel when you got paired with your ultimate dream crush?” yunjin teased, leaning over to poke your side. you shrugged it off by pushing her hand away from you.

“i feel… nothing and can you guys stop hovering over me.” you whispered in a yelling manner that only them could hear and your friends still have that little smile curved into their mouth but the teasing ends.

and what you didn’t know is that jay heard everything, he’s sitting behind you with his friends. he’s not eavesdropping, it’s just he has a sharp ears. he doesn’t care if you like him or not so he let out a puff of air before resuming eating his meals. he looked up, if his friends heard the conversation between you and your friends.

sunghoon puckered his lips and it’s apparent how he’s forcing himself to stay composed. meanwhile jake is busy munching on his food as if it’s his first ever meal today. jay grimaced from the sight, rolling his eyes, still thinking about you (why are they teasing you if you don’t even like me?) he tilted his head to the side, baffled.

“whatever, this isn’t something i should be thinking about.” he muttered under his breath.

it’s not that serious, right?

“let’s go, lunch is almost over. we need to be prepared for tonights’ gig.” jake said as he stood up slowly from his seat.

the three is exempted in class every time they have a performance since the event is in the university and everyone is looking forward to watch them perform on the stage.

as they went to their usual spot, you’ve been eyeing them from your peripheral vision. a strange idea popped up into your head, smirking. there’s no way people would recognize you later. the event will be crowded and it’s also dark—disguising as someone else is a better idea to avoid suspicions and unnecessary questions.

time passed by—it’s already 6:30 PM.

you are covered up from head to toe. a shawl above your head and draped over your shoulders. a plain white sleeveless. a grey maxi skirt paired with platform sandals. and your sunglasses resting on the bridge of your nose. you stared at yourself in the mirror, thinking that you look weird. then, you left the house, shutting the door behind you with a soft clicked.

you are used to walking towards the campus alone whenever gravity have performance. also, your friends doesn’t have any idea you’re coming tonight since you always decline their invitation but only if they knew.

the reason why you’re doing this, hiding and pretending that you don’t like listening to any bands is because of the people you’ve been friends with. they made fun of you, mocking how awful your taste in music is which they are certainly wrong but you couldn’t help but feel uneasy because they might bump into you.

letting out a sigh, squeezing your eyes shut to stop thinking and remembering your past. even though, it can take you a long time to forget every bad memories you’ve had in the past. you pulled out your phone to see tons of messages from the gc and it’s yunjin sending pictures of jake. even a video of how quick his fingers strumming with the strings. yunjin being the official fan-cam of sim jaeyun and his fingers.

she is just a fan like what she says but you knew she has a little tiny bit of a crush on the guy.

you are now in front of the university with people running right past you on the field. you looked around seeing the people dressed up so prettily meanwhile you on the other hand—looks like you did a crime and is now hiding to the cops.

a few more steps, you’re almost there where people are gathered to watch the mind blowing performance of gravity. heaving a sigh, you’re finally here. they aren’t starting yet but you’ve been itching to get a sight of the guy who has an electric guitar, killing it every time on the stage.

the loud booming noise from the speakers shocked you as you let out a high-pitched scream and then slapping a hand on your mouth from how embarrassing you sound. and there you go, three men approaching the stage—waving, blowing kisses to their fans and doing everything for fan service.

“hello, good evening everyone! wassup, we are gravity, make some noise~!”

you screamed at the top of your lungs even jumping as well as the people behind you.

jake put a hand over his chest, startled from how loud the screams are. “okay… calm down, we don’t want a noise complaint from the neighbors.” he joked, everyone cackled and saying that jaeyun is funny and a lot more praises.

“1… 2… 3…”

“tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin’” jake, who’s the vocalist began singing his lines while the guitarists thrumming against the strings, immersed from the music.

everyone sways their bodies, captivated by how angelic sim jaeyun sounds. but here you are, your eyes focused only to one specific person—park jongseong. the way his jaw ticked, bopping his head and as he sing along with his friend.

it was riveting, you’re hypnotized by how unreal his beauty is and how unlikely he is in the same generation as you are. he’s too perfect, too flawless to like someone like you, a nobody as what you referred to yourself.

you’re still staring at him when he looked up and caught your gaze, he froze for a second, blinking and then resuming hyping up the crowd by playing with his electric guitar like nothing happened. he didn’t recognize you, did he?

the show goes on for an hour until you feel exhausted and spent from pouring out your energy. so you left with some people who you’ve seen enjoying the performance. your phone buzzed from your hand, you lift it up from your face and saw the notifications from the group chat.

they mentioned you with countless of jay’s videos and pictures.

jen [6:50 PM]: i know you’re drooling over him as i send you these.

[attached: 10 images]

[attached: 3 videos]

chloelicious [6:53 PM]: @yn you do not want to miss this

hannipie [6:57 PM]: @yn masturbate well (wink emoji)

you tutted, shaking your head from their silly comments about jay. you’re glad you didn’t bump into them or you’ll jump off of the building. oh how hilarious it’d be once they find out you’re always present at every gravity performances.

as you’re walking through the exit, you heard loud footsteps behind you. thump. thump. thump. you gulped, you thought that it’s just those people who was a part of the gravitys’ audience so you didn’t think too much about it. then, the next thing happened too quickly, they gently tapped you from the back. out of breath because you were walking quite fast.

when you turned your head to the side, looking back from the person you did not expect to see to follow you all the way here through the campus’ gate. jay. surprise flickered across your face, fleetingly. you cleared your throat to be prepared to be questioned.

“h-hi?” you stuttered, and you’re unable to meet his intense gaze.

jay licked his lips, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. “uh, you dropped something back there. i think it’s yours.”

he extended his hand to you, showing a black purse. it’s clearly yours. shit, did he see my valid IDs? i hope the fuck not.

“how are you sure that’s mine?” you queried, frightened that he might make fun of you for disguising as someone else just to watch him.

he scratched the back of his neck, then dropping it on his side. “well, i was walking behind you, miss. i saw your black purse slipped out from your bag.”

shame written all over your face. you’re making yourself look more stupid in front of your long time crush. you let out an awkward laugh, as you take your purse from his hand in a bit of a rush.

you lowered your upper body, bowing as you thanked him for giving back your personal item which is important to you.

“thank you. thank you… sir.” you keep saying your thank you’s at him before you swiftly turn your body away from him to leave and run as fast as you can. your face flushed due to embarrassment.

leaving jay baffled from your strange behavior. he tilted his head to the side, pondering. you look too familiar even though you’re fully covered, he thought that he has seen you somewhere. or maybe not. jay didn’t waste anymore of his time and starts to walk through his home.

when you got home, you reminisce the interaction you’ve had with jay and how he observed you like he’s memorizing every details. you screamed into your pillows, kicking your feet as you remembered how the guy’s ears turned crimson red when you called him sir so he wouldn’t be suspicious of you.

this so-called little crush should’ve stayed little and not to grow more feelings. you stared at the ceiling, heaving a sigh. you still need to talk to him for the group project in chem, you groaned.

does the universe get off just seeing me suffer like this? as long as you keep your distance from him then nothing will happen.

────────

you’re already at the campus, sitting with your friends as they kept talking about last nights’ performance, again.

“you should have come with us, y/n. we know that you were drooling over those photos we sent on the group chat.” yunjin baited, you tried not to react from their teasing remarks to avoid being suspected.

the other hummed in approval.

“you’re such a homebody. i mean, it’s not bad but it’s not fun when we’re incomplete and also, i’m so sick of these two.” chloe replied in half annoyance but with a hint of jest.

“as if we’re not sick of seeing you everyday, chlo.” hanni scowled at the younger.

you leaned back on your chair, shaking your head, so done with their silly argument. the room went silent and you saw them, sunghoon, jake and jay entering the classroom, laughing at something. your gaze lingered on jay quite brazenly. his facial expression is neutral while his friends are still laughing because they saw how jay got rejected by his crush.

mind you, it’s still early but the guys’ mood is already ruined. he shouldn’t have listened to his own friends that he must confess his true feelings, if that means breaking his heart in the end. he thought that maybe having a companion will make his life less lonely.

your eyes never leaving his face, studying him like he’s your favorite book but you never notice that sunghoon is now staring at you, puzzled, trying to figure out why are you staring at his friend with concern all over your face. you eventually look away and face the front.

the class discussion proceeds until it’s now lunch time, dismissing the class and letting everyone to enjoy their meal. you can see in your peripheral vision that jay is coming towards you.

“hey, y/n, right?” he asked.

you slowly nodded. he lowly hummed, staring straight into your eyes. “can i get your number? you know for our project so i know where to see you after class.”

your eyes fluttered, feeling like your heart is about to combust. “yeah… yeah, you can. here’s my number.” you pulled out your phone out of your pocket and showed him your phone number as he type it in his phone and saved your contact number as chem partner.

“thanks, see you later?”

“see you later, jay.”

────────

you bid your goodbyes to your friends at the campus gate, walking towards the bus stop. you waited and waited for a bus to stop in front of you but nothing came then you see a white car pulling up the driveway. they rolled down their window and saw jay, waving at you.

huh? why is he here? and so many questions running through your head when it got interrupted when jay speak up.

“are you just going to sit there and wait all day for a bus? come on, let’s drive you home.” he cheekily said, letting a smile slip out of his mouth.

you looked around, hesitant to go inside his car but you stepped into the vehicle anyway. once you’re seated in the passenger seat, you have your hands laid flat into your knees, sitting comfortably or what jay thinks. you also told him the direction of your house and he only nodded as he drives his way there.

“so…”

“so…”

the both of your turned your head, facing each other, giggling because of saying the same thing, so synchronized that it cleared the dead air between you and jay.

“you first.” he insisted.

“well, i—uh, i just wanted to ask if you’re okay…?”

his brows knitted, confused with your abrupt question. “i’m… fine, i guess. what’s with the sudden concern? wait… did someone tell you what happened a while back in the class?”

your eyes darted from how obvious you sounded and what does he mean by someone told you about the incident? now you are dazed and confused.

“what do you mean? i saw that you were sad so i asked if you’re okay, that’s all.”

jay face palmed himself in his head. he wants to jump out of his car and let someone hit and run over him. this day is not really going well for him. first, his crush rejecting him. second, his friends witnessing a scene where their friend got rejected by his long-time crush. third, blurting out something he shouldn’t have said in front of you, his chem partner.

“nothing, it’s nothing. i’m just talking nonsense.” he sucked in a breath, still focused on driving.

you hum, not believing him but you stayed quiet throughout an entire ride.

the both of you arrived safely at your home, stepping out of the car as you waited for jay who’s getting something inside of his vehicle. he brought food, as well as the equipments for the volcanic experiment.

you and jay started working, no talking, only the hum of the fan is disrupting the silence. the guy is focus on building a volcano with the use of clay, mixing the colors of black, gray and brown to look more natural just like the real volcano. meanwhile you, who’s in charge of the magma (liquid): baking soda, vinegar, water, dish soap and food coloring.

as you poured everything in the container, you swirl and swirl until it’s merge together. jay is glancing every second at you, seeing your brows furrowed with profound concentration makes him smile a little. he’s almost done with his work, letting out a breathy sigh, arms exhausted from the handiwork.

“should we give it a try?” he asked.

so the both of you did, you’re holding the container which is filled with the liquids that is supposed to be the magma while jay have his phone displayed, facing the two of you as he pressed the play button to see if their experiment works. surprisingly, it looks realistic—it blew up just like the real volcano. you’re delighted even-though it made a mess in the living room.

“we did it in one try, damn.” you’re still in shock, whereas jay gave you a high-five, proudly. “i knew that we’ll nail it, perks of having me as your duo.”

“yeah, right. thanks a lot, jay.” you sassed back, playfully rolling your eyes at him while he grinned at you.

“my pleasure, y/n.” he said as he placed a hands on his chest, looking smug.

you hold back a smile. this isn’t going well for you. why is he so perfect? that damn haircut. that annoying smirk he flaunts only for you. and don’t forget how skillful his hands are. the universe must really hate you or is it the opposite?

────────

“so… did you and jay get into it?” yunjin whispered, wiggling her eyebrows.

you slapped her back, too hard that she let out a loud yelp and people quickly turned their head at the sound.

“shut your mouth, yunjin. and no, we only did the project, okay? you’re so nasty. you really need to be drown with holy water, i swear.”

“that’s still hurts… aww.” she massaged the spot where i hit her, glaring at me. “also, that’s so boring. jake and i haven’t even started yet like yolo, duh.”

“that is why you two were labeled as lazy fuckers but at least jay and i are done. we actually nailed it, do you want to see the video?”

yunjin gasped and that weirded you out so you stared at her questioningly.

“what video? a sex vid—“

you cut her off before she can finish what she’d say. “what the fuck? i meant the volcano experiment not… that.” your face flushed from the embarrassment. then you hastily pulled out your phone from your pocket and played the video.

after watching the full video, she nods proudly like a proud mother. “wow… in first try? i need your help ‘cause i don’t think jake has knowledge about this, you know?”

“you’re underestimating the jake sim, yunjin. did you forget that he is the smartest here in class?” you emphasized while she huff out in annoyance.

“argh. whatever, i do not want to be alone with him… i hate boys.” she whined desperately, hiding her face behind her hands.

you tutted, laughing. “yeah, because you are gay. don’t whine like that, it sounds like you’re getting railed and don’t worry, i’ll come with you.”

or probably not.

yunjin immediately engulfed you with a hug, arms tightly wrapped around your body like she’s trying to suffocate you but you just smiled at her, patting her arms lightly.

“i love you, my wifey. you’re the best wife ever!”

jay watched the scene unfolded in front of him, he didn’t know if he should look away or keep watching you and yunjin being lovey-dovey in the class. he eventually sit on his proper seat, propping an arm on his chin and looking out at the window.

you saw him. you wanted to approach the guy and ask if he is free so you could treat him somewhere but you feel anxious despite the fact that the both of you have already interacted, even got paired in chemistry yet you still feel this way. obviously, it’s because you like jay and you will never admit it directly.

the professor asked about the progress of the project. some hasn’t started yet (like yunjin and jake), still figuring out how to make the magma perfect, hasn’t finish it because they ran out of time. also, they praised you and jay for being the first one who finished the experiment.

jay took a glance at your way and your eyes met. so you quickly smiled at him and look away as you can feel your face heating up.

────────

“jongseong-ah! don’t forget about the practice this friday, alright?” jake draped an arm over his shoulder and jay just let him.

jay grunted in exasperation, “yeah, whatever.” he stopped in his tracks when he saw his ex-crush, laughing with a man.

they are too close for his liking.

sunghoon mouth gaped open as he watched his friends’ lingering stares from the woman who rejected him yesterday and now she is with that athletic guy.

“damn, do you think they are dating?” sunghoon blurted out and jay glared at him.

“what? i’m just curious. they look cute…” he is only teasing jay but the way the guy clenched his jaw, furious, is making him burst out of laughing.

“don’t even start, sunghoon. i am not in the mood.”

“when are you in the mood, anyway?”

“you fucking b—“

“guys… we are in the hallway. you guys don’t want detention, yeah? stop being so immature.” jake butted in before heaving a sigh.

jake dragged the both of them outside while they whine like a child. everyone saw how jake lectured his friends and they thought it was cute and hilarious at the same time knowing that jay is 11 months older than him and sunghoon is a month younger.

the three guys went to the café so they can cool off their head and jake happily drink his iced americano while the other two is still utterly silent.

jaeyun coughed, “that y/n girl, she’s cute. don’t you think so, jay?” jay snapped his head on his direction, raising an eyebrow.

“what?” he blinked, once, twice. “i guess? why, do you like y/n?” jay added, he doesn’t know why did he even ask that in the first place.

jake hummed, “maybe i do? it’s not like she’s taken. should i shoot my shot and ask her out?”

“you definitely should, bro.” sunghoon spurred on his friend while jay only shake his head as if it didn’t bother him.

“can we not talk about her? and if you’re planning on breaking her heart, jake. i’ll break your nose first.” jay threatened him.

“i don’t play with people’s feelings, jay. and don’t act like a superhero now just because your crush rejected you.” jake fired back, as they glared at one another.

“so now the two of you are fighting, wow. what a day, indeed.” sunghoon exclaimed sarcastically, looking at his friends who’s still scowling.

they stayed for a little while at the coffee shop, talking about random stuff to forget the fight that just happened earlier.

“anyhow, what about you, hoon? you’re too awfully quiet about crushes. are you hiding something from us, mhm?” jaeyun teased but sunghoon remained serious.

sunghoon thinks that crushes are stupid and it’s not like he will ever like someone who is able to meet his standards. he wants to enjoy his life being single without having someone who could make his life draining.

“no, i am not hiding anything from the both of you. if i ever like someone then i’ll tell you guys, that’s it.” he shrugged his shoulders.

“so boring. anyway, jay, could you help me and yunjin for the project in chemistry? pretty please?” jaeyun fluttered his eyelash as he stared at jay.

jay shoved his face by his hand, and jaeyun grunted in response. “helping someone isn’t free nowadays, jake. even if i considered you as one of my friends.” he outstretched his hand, waving it in front of jake.

“wow wow wow, after spending 5 years with you and all you think about is money? alright, jongseong. maybe, i think so highly of you.”

“well, if you’re not lazy and asked someone’s help for your project then maybe you can finish it in a day and for free. think.”

“pfft, piss off.” jake rolled his eyes at him and then shifts his gaze to sunghoon. “sunghoon can help m—“

“no thanks.”

“what the fuck?”

────────

you failed asking jay out so now you are here with your girl friends, eating street food and drinking coffee. you couldn’t help but think if you ever confess to him, would he distance himself to you? knowing the rumor spreading around the campus that he likes someone but you didn’t ask the name because it would cause more damage.

even your friends noticed how you grew quiet when you all overheard the students’ conversation. you’d lie if you say it didn’t sting, of fucking course it does.

“hey… you okay?” chloe asked you with a hint of worry from her tone.

the curve of your mouth lifts up, reassuring them that you’re fine even though you are completely not okay. “don’t worry about me. what did i tell you? he will never like me. he likes someone as popular like that girl. also, she dressed so feminine… she’s a beauty. i mean, i’m not calling myself ugly. we are all have differences and that’s okay. i get him, i get it. this will pass, you know? it’s not a big deal.”

it’s not a big deal. you just need to think about yourself and stop fantasizing about jay. it will be easy, right? you lived your life alone, without asking for anyone’s help, without needing anyone’s validation, and without talking to multiple people to feel less lonely. it should be a piece of cake.

“preach, girly pop. this is why women are better than men. look at me? women are lining up just to talk to me.” yunjin waved us off, shying away from what she just said.

the three of us look at one another, giving her a side eye and proceed on eating our food.

“weirdo…” hanni whispered.

“i heard that, you cunt.”

“oh okay, ‘cause i was wondering.”

you and chloe bite back your smiles as you watch the two of them bicker once again. they keep going back and forth, throwing shades to one another until you scold them to stop as people passing by is giving the four of you dirty looks.

it’s much better to be with your friends who cheered you up when you’re at your lowest point of life. you consider them as your sisters in another mother. you don’t know what you’d do if you never meet them.

maybe you will be lonely for life.

looking at their wide smile lit something up in you and you just wanted to cherish every moments with them, no matter if it’s sad or happy situations—you’ll treasure every bits of it.

you haven’t submit your project to your professor and you’ve been thinking of submitting it since your classmates still working on their own experiments. you think it’s best to be the first one to hand your work and get a higher grade rather than receiving a lowest mark.

but you need to inform jay about it and that’s when you realize you need to talk to him after crashing out because of the rumors. your fingers hovered over on his contact, still reluctant to interact with him over the phone.

fuck it, i don’t have any choice.

you [7:30 PM]: good evening, jongseong. i’ve been thinking about submitting our project tomorrow morning so we wouldn’t be late and we can get a higher grade, you know? i don’t think you’d like to receive a low score.

sent.

you waited for a minute to receive a reply from him. tick-tock… tick-tock… tick-

you can see him typing from your device, anticipating to his response. you swallowed hard, feet tapping on the ground as you patiently awaits for the guy.

jay [7:36 PM]: good eve, y/n. yeah, sure. let’s pass it tomorrow.

jay [7:37 PM]: i can drive you to campus so you wouldn’t carry it all the way there. i don’t want to see you in distress.

typing… deletes… typing…

you [7:39 PM]: thanks a lot for the offer, jay. i’ll be waiting and don’t be late.

jay grinned from the other line.

jay [7:40 PM]: yes, ma’am! 🫡

jay [7:41 PM]: good night, y/n. sleep tight~

you [7:42 PM]: goodnight, jay, you too. <3

you turned off your phone, placing it on the bedside table. you lay down on the soft mattress as you stare at the ceiling, letting out a sigh. is meeting him has meaning? destined? or will cause me more suffering? you tried to close your eyes and sleep to stop yourself from thinking about pointless stuff.

────────

morning came, it’s thursday. 6:40 AM.

you woke up quite early and make yourself look presentable as possible. also, you carried the volcanic experiment in your arms and waited for jay to arrive.

the class starts at eight o’clock in the morning so you still have a lot of time and you hate, hate going to university late. that’s the reason you always wake up in advance to prepare your stuff and make yourself look pretty.

when you heard a honk of the car, you immediately got up from the sofa and rushed towards the front door just to see jay leaning over the side of his car with his arms crossed.

he waved his hands, lightly smiling and your chest tightened. he looks so charming when he smile like that, like he’s putting you under a spell. you gripped your shirt and approached him, still feeling agitated because of him.

“wow, you look pretty.” he complimented you, raking his eyes up and down. “here, let me help you with that.” he took the project on your arms and put it inside the backseat of his car.

“thank you… you look… good.” you replied, pausing with every words spilling out of your mouth. he just smiled and open the door for you so you could sit on the passenger seat.

he went in as well, and began driving to campus. Paris in the Rain is playing in the background and you can’t help but bop your head and tap your fingers on your lap following the rhythm of the song, enjoying the music.

jay noticed it, he took a glance at your way and then focusing back on driving the vehicle. “a fan of lauv? his music is so immaculate just like my music taste.”

“pft. yeah, i’m a fan. i also love listening to r&b and alt rock…” you paused, holding yourself back from saying more that you might regret later on.

you took a glimpse of him if he heard what you just said. you saw him nodding along and didn’t say anything so you let out a sigh of relief.

finally, the both of you arrived at the campus. he switched off the car and then, he got out of the car to open the backseat and carry the volcanic experiment gently. you also got out of the car and didn’t pay attention to the people nearby. they gasped out loud from seeing jay with a girl, thinking it’s his girlfriend, a one-time thing and a lot more you couldn’t care less anymore.

“i never see you in one of our gigs, you don’t like loud music? or crowded places?” he bombarded you with questions and you feel like running away from him to avoid these type of interrogation.

“well… i—“

“y/n! we’ve been waiting for you. why aren’t you replying to us on the group chat… oh, jay…” hanni is taken aback seeing you with jay beside you.

the three of them giving each other’s a look like they were sending some signal to one another. you glanced at them, smiling stiffly. the look on their face saying you need some explanation right the fuck now.

“your friends are looking for you…. they are right there, look!” they dragged you by the arm, away from jay and that threw him off because he doesn’t see his friends anywhere.

you didn’t look back because the girls keep on pulling you like you’re playing tug of war and this is embarrassing you. people are still watching and observing you. you sigh.

they halted their movement when the four of you are at the bench, you pull away from them and sit at the chair, already exhausted.

“what was that?” you asked.

“no, what was that? you and jay?”

“yeah, i know you still like him but… his fans have been watching since you and jay arrived at the campus at the same time and in the same car.”

“you should be careful, y/n. you’re too young to die.”

you rolled your eyes. “calm down, you all are too dramatic. he initiated that he will give me a ride since he can’t… he can’t see me carrying our project all by myself.”

“oh…? he’s such a gentleman. but i still don’t trust him, even though we always tease you about him.” chloe played with her nails and blowing on them.

“right, and knowing he likes that girl…” yunjin whispered.

“mhm… we can’t tell you to stop liking him, y/n. just don’t let yourself get hurt because of some guy. we love you too much.” hanni advised as she patted your back.

“thank you, girls, really. i appreciate the concern but i know what i’m doing, okay?” you hugged your friends, caressing their back and then deliberately pulling away.

────────

you are already in the classroom with the girls and your classmates. your professor came in, and checked the attendance. you signaled jay about the group assignment and the both of you walked towards the professors’ table and submitted it, placing it on the table carefully.

“can we get a sample, if it’s really explosive eruption? so, your classmates have idea how to make theirs precisely accurate.”

and the two of you did show your professor.

it happened exactly how it blew up when you and jay were working on this experiment. you thought it wouldn’t work out this time but you’re glad it did work out—not everything will only sparked once, it can happen as long as you put your heart into it.

your classmates, your friends and jays’ friends screamed out of astonishment. you looked up at jay and saw him already looking at you, smiling. you flashed him a genuine smile as well and then waiting for the result for the project.

the professor hummed, contentment, satisfied with how the two of you worked together perfectly and building such a good chemistry by making an excellent, well-made experiment.

“honestly, i couldn’t say much more. you did great, the both of you. you’ll receive sms for individual marks after class or tomorrow. you can go back to your proper seat and thank you for working hard, jay and y/n.”

you and jay bowed down to him as a thank you. the two of you went back to your seats and you can hear a lot of whispers behind you.

“you think they are dating?”

“she isn’t jay’s type though…”

“right? i also heard jay likes the girl from the other section.”

your knuckles turning white from how tight you’re gripping them, it shouldn’t bother you. it’s better to let them talk bullshit rather than wasting your breath just to waste your energy on them.

it’s almost the end of the class as you keep staring at the clock on the wall, waiting to leave the suffocating room and far away from these people.

tap. tap. tap.

“okay, that’s all for today. class dismissed.”

phew. you let out a breath you’ve been holding for a bit. then you grabbed your bag with your friends following behind you, confused written all over their face.

“hey, hey! what’s with the rush? are you going somewhere important?” yunjin worriedly asked.

“i… just need to go home. i’m tired. i’ll text you, girls. love ya…” you waved at them with a smile carved on your mouth to let them know you’re totally fine.

once you’re home, you throw your bag on the couch and head to your bedroom to change clothes and take a cold shower. after you’re done, you dressed up, wearing your sleep wear and then jumping to your bed as your mattress released a noise.

you picked up your phone on the bedside table, scrolling through your socials, trying to get rid of the boredom. you almost forgot to update your friends that you arrived safely at your house.

you [5:04 PM]: sorry for leaving suddenly :( i feel overwhelmed and i heard our classmates talking shit about me—even those who are on the other levels. i do not want to think about it but how could i not? i felt like being crushed from their words.

you [5:06 PM]: this is the reason why i wanted to distance myself from him, although, i am such a huge fan of gravity. anyway, whatever. give me two or three weeks… i’ll move forward.

you could see the bubbles popping up on the chat box and wait for their response from your message.

jen [5:07 PM]: baby, i am glad you’re doing fine and i fucking knew it, it has to be about jongseong. i even punched someone on the way home because i heard your name being mentioned, heh.

chloelicious [5:08 PM]: if i were you, y/n. i’d date jen. (thank god, i am not y/n). just so you know, we always have your back, alright?

jen [5:08 PM]: ???

hanniepie [5:09 PM]: exactly, you are such a strong girl and you don’t need no man. we love you, gorg.

jen — chloelicious [5:10 PM]: 🤏🤏🤏

you [5:10 PM]: thank you so much, loves. that really cheered me up, swear. i am so lucky to have you three.

the day ends with a warmth blooming in your chest, grateful to meet such a positive and beautiful souls like your friends.

────────

gravity performance (friday) today. there is no classes today as the campus announced that it is a special day today and every students should have fun instead.

you’re locking yourself in your room but your friends came to visit you to see if you’re still alive. they told you that they will be attending the event since they do not have anything to do besides spending their time to clean and watch netflix which is becoming a boring hobby to them.

they are outside of your bedroom door, patiently waiting for you to open the door for them. you whined like a dolphin because you do not want to get out of your bed and you just wanted to stay there all day until the event finish.

“are you really going to lock yourself in there? bruh, not the bed-rotting, please.”

“come with us, only this once. we are going to make sure you’re full (with food). come on…”

“yeah, we won’t be staying for too long, just come with us. we don’t want you to be alone here all day.”

you rolled out of your bed, lazily walked towards the door, twisting the knob open as you let them in. “you guys are so noisy…”

“so are you going with us?” yunjin asked hopefully. she is basically praying and begging in her head.

you hesitated for a second before nodding. they yelled out of happiness even jumping and you just stared at them, lightly smiling.

“help me pick out an outfit.”

they sprinted towards your closet and rummaging through the fabrics, searching for something that will make you more look hot and pretty. when they found the best fit for you, it actually suits your taste in fashion.

the event will start at 6:30 pm sharp and it’s only 4:45 pm—1 hour and 45 minutes to left for you to be prepared. this is the first time you will be going there without a disguise and it’s making you feel giddy.

as the clock strikes at the precise time, you and your friends began treading through the university since it’s starting to crowd around the area. you heard a loud music blasting through the speakers, you flinched and end up grabbing yunjin’s arms so you won’t be separated from them.

you squinted due to the lights blinding your eyes but you can see the silhouettes of the performers which is gravity, trudging their way at the front stage to wave at their fans.

jay’s eyes landed on you, frozen, holding the eye contact as he can’t believe that you’re here going to watch him perform live. you forced yourself to look away from the guy while he blinked furiously to avert his gaze from you and to the crowd. you noticed his red bloodshot eyes like he just chugged a whole alcohol down his throat.

did he drink because of that girl? he really likes her, huh? whatever, i don’t care. i. do. not. care.

the instrumental sound they used is from The 1975 song called Robbers. you love this song but you can’t help and think if jay was the one who picked the song. it feels like they, perhaps jay is serenading his crush.

“she had a face straight out a magazine. god only knows, but you’ll never leave her. her balaclava is starting to chafe and when she gets his gun, he is begging, “babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.”

it sounds pathetic, yet here you are, still hoping for him to notice the real you and even wish that he would look at your way instead of another girl who blatantly rejected him in public.

“i’ll give you one more time. we’ll give you one more fight, said one more line, will i know you?”

you wanted to leave, run away from the stupid feelings you have for the guy. you informed your friends that you’ll be using the comfort room just for a short time. so you walked towards the backstage to take a bathroom first before you leave the place.

the show is almost done and you will be waiting here until it ends. you fixed your make up by re-applying setting powder and a lipstick. you can hear the loud cheers from the outside letting you know that the event is finally over. before you turn to leave, you take a one last look in the mirror and then you headed for the door, twisting the knob open—jay is standing outside the door with his head hung low like he’s waiting for someone in the bathroom or more like he’s been waiting for you.

jay pushed himself inside, making your body collide with him. you wanted to leave so bad but he’s practically locking you in with him in the bathroom. he raked his eyes over your body and you can feel the coldness seeping through your clothes, shivering from the heat of his gaze.

“why are you in such a hurry?” he asked. “i’m shocked you didn’t wear a disguise just to not be recognize by me, how cute.”

your eyes widened with his statement, you didn’t think he’d be able to recognize you with that hideous cover up.

“you’re drunk, jay.” you monotonously replied, trying to act like it did not affect you.

he let out a breathy laugh. “tipsy, not drunk.”

“you’re hiding yourself here so you could leave without saying goodbye to me?”

“w-what? i am not… i just need to pee.”

you want to smack yourself from stammering in front of him. he shouldn’t know he makes you nervous. jay can see the facade you’ve been hiding and he thinks it’s adorable how apparent you are.

he hummed in the lowest tone you’ve ever heard from him. “yeah? and you think i am stupid enough to believe you? how foolish of you.”

jay encircles around you, sizing you up even intimidating you. “why are you holding me hostage here? okay, you know what? yes, i disguised myself because i do not want to be seen by you or anyone who knew me and yes, it’s because i fucking like you. happy now? just let me go.”

you can feel the sweat forming through your body, swallowing hard as you impatiently awaits for his reply.

“i noticed, it’s funny when you think that i didn’t and now, you think i’d let you get away with it? you’re wrong, because you’re staying here until i am done with you.”

he strides his way towards you until your body hits the vanity countertop, your hands automatically gripped the edge as jay leaned closer to your face. you could feel the hot breath fanning through your mouth, licking your dry ones.

jay smirked seeing you trembling around him when he hasn’t done anything yet. he brushed his fingers over your delicate cheeks, stroking them tenderly and with care like he is scared he might leave a scratch.

“so so beautiful. i wish you were mine to begin with but unfortunately, i don’t see you that way.” he said, teasingly. he needs to see you riled up and even cry because it makes it more fun for him.

you laid a hand on his chest to stop him from getting closer to you, knowing he’s drunk but fuck you’re leaking so much that you instinctively close your legs. he saw that, so he pry them open, letting his knees in between your legs and rocking it back and forth as he can feel your arousal through his pants. the friction made you bit your lips, holding back your moans because you don’t want him to think that you’re enjoying this.

“shit, pretty. look at you? you’re soaking wet just for me, mhm?” he grunted, flexing his thick thighs now to make you cum from just his thighs alone. “don’t fucking hold yourself back or i won’t let you cum.”

you tilted your head, cursing under your breath since it feels too good to stop this whatever’s happening between the two of you. you started grinding on his thighs, slowly at first and then picking up the speed as your climax is nearing. jay grabbed your hips, helping you come through his pants, rocking your body back and forth with a tight grip on each sides of your waist.

“j—jay… ngh, i’m coming. pleasepleaseplease, don’t stop…” you cried out silently as you begged the guy to keep making you feel good. after the hottest thigh grinding you’ve ever had, your cum gushing out through your panties, staining his black trousers.

“good girl, you did great, my pretty.” he praised you as he lower himself down, sinking onto his knees in between your thighs. he looks up to you, you gulped.

he is going to make you remember this friday night where he is going to eat you out until you’re shaking for him. he ripped off your panties, as a surprised gasped left your mouth from the sudden force. jay left wet kisses in your inner thighs even sucking them, marking you up.

“you shaved just for me?” he slurred out, toying with your slippery and bare cunt. “is that why you waited for the show to be over so i can fuck this slutty pussy, mhm?”

“yes, fuck—yes. it’s all for you.”

“good, you’re my pretty little girl, yeah? this pussy is mine, you’re mine.” he mewled, the statement sounds like he already owns you rather than asking for your permission.

you gripped his hair, breathing heavily as the guy started out to lick a long filthy and nastiest stripe from your hole up to your neglected clit. “more, please, more.” you whispered above him.

“you have to be louder than that, pretty. what do you want?” he sucked his two fingers in his mouth while looking at you and you tried to squeeze your thighs from how lewd he looks at the moment. “come on, don’t keep me waiting.”

“need your fingers and mouth, jay. please? need it so bad.”

“how bad do you want it? scream it out for me so everyone can hear how much of a slut you are for me.”

“so fucking bad, need it. i need it, please… jay!”

jay growled before he lunged forward, his tongue moving side by side rapidly while his two digits entering your slick hole with a slosh sound. he curled his fingers even did a scissoring motion inside you as his mouth is still busy playing with your clit.

you grind on his fingers in a shaky way as your body is now looking like a jelly from how fast his mouth and fingers moving inside you. “yes, keep going, fuuuuck. so good.”

he never cease his movements as he can feel you quivering on his mouth as well as on his fingers, clamping like you want him to be in you permanently. “come on my tongue, pretty. let me have a taste of you.”

you heave a breath as you released another spurts of cum. jay lapped it all up like he’s been waiting to taste your cream, he slurp your liquids not wasting any drop. jay got up on his knees, straightening up as he shoved his fingers in your mouth that was in your pussy a while ago, letting you taste your juices. you sucked harshly, moaning through them as jay grit his teeth from the erotic view.

he pulled out his hand and then holding the back of your neck to frantically kiss you—dominating your mouth and wanting to taste more of you. jay also sucked your tongue while you can feel his boner rubbing on your stomach. you breathlessly moan as he keep devouring your mouth like he’s been starving for days or even months.

“you taste so sweet, can’t get enough of you.” he murmured, leaning again to suck on your lower lips even biting them hard that you can feel the blood oozing out from your mouth while jay licked it clean, moaning and relishing the metallic taste.

you broke away from the kiss to breathe as the string of saliva connected between your mouth. jay lifts you up on the countertop, easing himself in between your legs and groping your plump thighs.

jay pulled down his pants along with his tight boxers with a loud thud that you couldn’t care less about it as his shaft stood up proudly, hitting his abdomen amidst of his rush movement. you could see how red and swollen the tip is like it’s been aching for a release. you’re about to give it a few pumps when jay grab your wrist, stopping you.

“no need, i just want to be in you or else i’d lose my mind.”

he gripped the base of his cock, dragging the slit on your cunt, prodding the hole without inserting it entirely. you raised your hips, grinding back to feel the veins of his cock.

“ngh, don’t tease, please…” you desperately whines as he keep teasing you.

the guy suddenly took something out of his pocket, a lube. he opened the lid and then pouring it all over your already soaked pussy. jay rubs his length between your folds, head tips back, groaning midway.

he’s been sexually frustrated and it’s because of you. he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings so the only thing he could do is keep it all to himself until it pass but it didn’t—it only worsen each day passes by.

jay clearly wants to confess yet he’s petrified to get rejected again and this is the only resolution he can have you with him alone.

“fuck, i can come just from doing this. your pussy is so good, pretty.” he drew out a moan still rubbing his cock on your slick folds coated in lube.

you just sit there, helplessly, and without thinking, you lift up your hips to feel more of him but jay pressed you down to halt your movement.

“did i tell you to move? good girls behave and you must wait, alright? if you move again, i’ll punish you and i don’t think you’d like that.”

“i’m sorry, i just want you to fuck me…” you replied in a hushed tone with a hint of despair in them.

he tutted in displeasure. “you want to be fuck so bad, yeah? turn around for me then.”

you obeyed quite in a hurry, bending over the vanity as your face squished down at the marble tiles. you sway your hips side to side while jay slapped your bottom cheeks imprinting a red mark from his palm on the flesh. you let out a loud yelp immediately covering your mouth, terrified that people outside might hear you getting fuck by their favorite guitarist of gravity.

“didn’t i tell you that i want to hear you when i make you feel good? let them hear how pretty you sound, y/n. let them know who’s fucking you this good.” he leaned down on the crook of your neck, licking your sweat off of you as he place a deep and lingering kiss on your shoulder.

his cock keep poking your wet core. without a warning, he plunges inside you as he lowly grunted while you gasped out loud from how big he is, stretching your tight walls. jay didn’t move yet as he waits for you to adjust on his enormous size.

“you can move now… please, move.”

jay started with slow pace as his rhythm gradually picks up. the plap sounds from their skin meeting echoes off the walls repeatedly and obscenely.

“fuck, pretty. you feel so warm, don’t want to stop. god, i could fuck you all night ‘til morning, you’d want that? mhm?” he buried his face in your neck as he keep moving in and out relentlessly like he wants to basically mold you with his huge meat drilling into your cunt.

you nodded, drools slipping out of your mouth. “yes… want it, i need it. use me whenever you want to, i don’t care.”

the guys’ deep guttural moan made you try to squeeze your thighs but ends up tightening up around him. you’re already cock drunk as you whine underneath him.

you do not want him to stop.

you want more.

jay lifted up your right leg on the counter so you can feel him deeper in you, thrusting brutally, non stop. you arched your back because of his cock brushing against your cervix continuously like he wants to see how ruined you are just from his cock. the cries and pleas falling out of your mouth made jays’ thrust become more intense.

in an abrupt motion, he slowly pulled out of you to pick up the mystery item hidden on his pocket. once he got a hold of it, he pressed your head on the vanity as you tried to see what he’s up to.

“stay fucking still. are you really going to act like a brat? don’t piss me off, pretty. you’ve been very bad for tonight.”

“i’m sorry, please. i will behave, jay, just please.”

“please what?”

“make me cum… need to cum, please. want your cum inside me.”

“i’ll stuff you with my cum, pretty. you will be swollen and full of me, is that what you want? such a dirty girl.”

“mhm—yes—make me your personal cum dump, stuff me with your load… ngh.”

he poked his cheeks with his tongue, enjoying how wild and freaky you are. he did not expect you to be nasty. jay gripped on the item that he covered with a condom and then grabbing the lube as he poured it out on your cheeks, flowing until it reaches to your fluttering pinkish hole to make it slippery and easy to slide in.

jay rubbed the microphone up and down on your cunt while you knitted your brows from the strange object moving through your folds. leisurely and prudently, he slip the bottom of the microphone into your core. you are confident that it’s a mic penetrating your hole.

“no… please, take it away.” you begged, tears streaming down your face. you tried to wiggle out of his grip but he pinned your wrists behind your back, holding it in a firm hold.

“i won’t hurt you, pretty.” he reassures you with a kiss on your cheeks stained with your tears. “you say that as if you’re not milking this microphone, you make me laugh.”

it was uncomfortable for you but as he thrust the object over and over again, you turned into a moaning mess. you even rolled your hips from how good the friction is and how jay began to pick up the pace, ruthlessly.

“i don’t think i can hold back any longer.” he said more to himself. “you think your pussy can take more?”

you panted heavily as you try to respond without shaking. “yes, i think…”

he bursted out laughing, head falling back from how funny and unsure you answer was. “you think? baby, make up your mind. and don’t worry, i’ll be gentle.”

that was the biggest lie he ever said. gentle? not when your sweet warm pussy wraps around his cock so well that it looks like it naturally belong there.

jay slides the tip in carefully not trying to hurt you, he pushes in more until his cock is fully inside with the microphone that’s been sitting there for a while. he moves his hips deliberately as his other hand clasped the mic, twisting and thrusting simultaneously.

you whimpered out from the pleasure you’re feeling at the moment. jay speeds up his thrust, pounding ferociously.

“just like that… jay… yesyesyes!”

“i don’t think i’m going to last long—shit.” his thrust falters, ass clenched and legs trembling as he spilled out his warm thick load inside you with a deep low groan while you released at the same time, letting out a high-pitched scream—tightening your soft velvety walls around him like a glove.

after the intense, steamy and beyond belief sex between the two of you—jongseong black out while you left him there unconscious. your phone buzzed from your pocket, picking it up, you saw that your professor sent the results of your project giving you and jay a perfect score.

you don’t know how to react as you remembered what happened back there in the public bathroom. you shook your head and close your eyes as you can feel the weariness consuming your body.

one week later, you’ve never heard from jay but you always see him in the hallway and the fact that he will glance at you then look away immediately. you frowned at that because how could he just forget what happened between the two of you last friday night?

“you’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that.” hanni said, interrupting you from your inner thoughts.

you want to laugh it off but somehow you couldn’t do it. you plan to confront jay about it because his behavior has been bothering you.

summer break is on friday which is tomorrow so it’s great to have a deep conversation with the guy, even if it will lead to heartache or maybe not? who knows? as long as you get it off your chest, you’re good.

jay congratulated you over the text and you did the same. he’s unpredictable, ignoring you for days and then acting like you’re fine with it. you began typing your thoughts you’ve had and send it to him without regrets.

you [6:30 PM]: good evening, jay. i am going to be upfront with you because honestly, it’s breaking me apart how you could ignore me after having sex with me that friday night. did you just use me to forget about your crush? i was trying to move on because of you but… yeah, i keep thinking about what we had and it’s keeping me awake at night. just be honest with me and i will leave you alone.

jays’ breath hitched when he read every words you’ve sent. he tried to rack his brain, sex? he had sex with you? and then, he felt like a cold water washed over him. he remembers now, every little details from what happened that night.

filthy. hunger for one another. the tears falling out from your pretty eyes. his cock jerked from the thought.

no. no. no.

jay [6:42 PM]: good evening, y/n. i am sorry for ignoring you and it’s because i couldn’t remember anything that night and just now, it all became clear and vivid. i was drunk, fuck. i shouldn’t have done that to you and i didn’t do it because i want to use you or your body to forget her—that’s for sure. please, believe me.

it was true, he never even think about his ex crush anymore when you came into his life but he doesn’t want to tell you how he genuinely feels about you, not anymore. his world will crumble being rejected by you. the feelings he has for you is so strong but the fear is much stronger.

you [6:45 PM]: let’s talk tomorrow, in person. i will send you the location for the meet up, tomorrow morning.

────────

the birds chirping, couples being lovey dovey and kids running around the park. you glanced at your wrist watch, no signs of jay yet. you sighed, he isn’t going to ditch me, right? you thought.

and then after a couple of minutes, he showed up. hair brushed up, wearing a silk satin polo long sleeves in a shade of green and a grey trousers.

“hey, i’m sorry. i’m not that late, aren’t i? the reason i got here late is because i was searching for my glasses, my bad.” he pursed his lips while he scrutinize your appearance for today.

“no worries, you are good.” you just waved him off, reassuring him that you didn’t wait long for him.

you cleared your throat. “so, last night you said you didn’t use me. then what was that? you suddenly got horny?”

“no,” he runs his fingers through his hair. “or maybe yes? i told you, i was drunk and i don’t know what came into me to do that.”

he wants to slap himself so bad or much better punch him in the gut until he can’t breathe because the look in your face makes him want to hug you and pour kisses all over your face. maybe, acting like he doesn’t care about you will make you hate him.

you nodded, your eyes glistening and you don’t know if it’s because of the wind or how jays’ words shattered your heart.

“ah… i really thought you were nice, jay. but you are just like other men, an asshole. who thinks everyone will fall to their knees and have a taste of you. well then, i don’t want to waste anymore of my time talking to you. goodbye.” you turned around as the tears streamed down from holding it back. you do not want him to know how affected you were.

you wiped them away since he doesn’t deserve your tears and your pure heart. this is the last time you will ever like someone. fuck men. you should have listened to your friends when they said that you cannot trust jay but what did you do? you let him eat your pussy and even had sex with the guy.

and you will never listen to any bands again. never, not anymore. you will face the future ahead of you with a bright smile and positivity—never looking back from the past hurts.

© hoonid