Sorry if the pacing is all over the place. I just wrote what came naturally. I hope you like it, even a little!
You held the wrists of your current patient, feeling the steady beat of their heart in their veins and the flow of mana in and out of their body.
“Your condition has fully stabilized,” you told them with a curt nod. “You did well enduring the long recovery time.”
“I was barely here a week thanks to you,” the patient said with a laugh.
You were cut off by the doors of the infirmary bursting open with a loud THUD. Three Magic Knights in grey cloaks hurried in, a body carried between them.
Immediately, you stood at attention and went to join the three Knights’ movement.
“Emergency! We need an advanced healer, stat!” one of the Knights—one with black hair that messily went every which way—shouted at the top of his lungs.
“I’ll take care of it!” you proclaimed without missing a beat. “Bring them this way!”
You guided the Knights over to an empty bed. The limp form they had been carrying was laid down. As you examined the patient with your eyes, your ears absorbed the rapid fire information being yelled at you.
Young adult male. Pale skin and shallow breathing. Magical burns across his torso. Bruising on his torso, face, and arms. Light cuts in various places. Apparently, he’d taken an explosion head on to protect a client and had even been blown through a stone wall.
Words were still thrown around you—a name might’ve even been shouted—but you drowned them out, focusing on channeling your magic. As mana coated your hands, you hovered them over the patient’s chest.
Broken bones and internal bleeding but no severe damage to his spine. You took deep breaths and increased your mana output. I can’t take my time with precision right now. I need to stabilize him first.
You placed your hands on the Knight’s stomach, close to his center. Then you began sending slow but strong pulses of your healing magic through his body. You maintained the spell longer than you usually would for a patient until the young man on the bed heaved with a deep breath at last.
His face twisted in pain and he let out a groan before slowly opening his eyes. The young man glanced around through bleary eyes.
“The client… Is he okay?” was the first thing he choked out.
Behind your lips, you gritted your teeth. It wasn’t like you could answer anyhow. All you could do was keep up your healing pulses before you moved onto more specialized techniques.
“That’s what you’re worried about, Morgen?!” the young man with the messy black hair, and broad shoulders now that you paid more attention, snapped at his bedridden ally. “I thought you’d died and you’re worried about that wuss you became a meat shield for?!”
The patient, Morgen, exhaled. Despite that, the tension in his body didn’t release.
“It’s my duty as a Magic Knight,” he muttered.
What noble intentions, you thought. If a bit naive, if you ask me.
Morgen’s right shoulder twitched before his arm slid back; he was moving to sit himself up.
“I wouldn’t advise that,” you stated, placing a hand on Morgen’s shoulder. “I may have stabilized you but you’ll need more treatment which will take a few days.”
For a second, Morgen gazed up at you. You held eye contact, not giving an inch, until Morgen closed his eyes and let out a sigh. A smile, one unable to hide his exhaustion, came to his face.
“I understand. And thank you. I’ll be in your capable hands.”
“Thank you for trusting me,” you said. “Now rest. Conserve your strength.”
Your words didn’t seem to reach though. Morgen laid in bed, still without relaxing his body.
Since that first meeting, you took notice whenever Morgen came to the infirmary.
It was hard not to notice someone as handsome as him. Your co-workers often speculated on his relationship status because of that.
He was also hard to forget with how frequently he came to the infirmary. Sprains, burns, cuts, even broken bones. Over the course of months, you’d seen him come in for nearly every kind of injury imaginable. “I’m terribly sorry to trouble you” or “I hope I’m not a bother” he would often say, looking sheepish as he entered the infirmary if he wasn’t wincing in pain instead. How he could see himself as a bother was beyond you. Morgen was polite, grateful, and obedient.
There was more to him than being an easy patient though.
“Your control over magic is incredible. No wonder you’re so relied on here.”
He always had something nice to say about another person.
“The other day, I saw someone propose to their girlfriend. It was such a beautiful moment.”
The happiness of others brought Morgen joy, even when he was entirely uninvolved.
“Can I ask what kind of snacks you and your co-workers like? I’d like to send you all something as a token of my appreciation.”
Thinking of others came second nature to him.
When did you become so aware and attached to Morgen, you wondered whenever you were alone. When did that smile of his become so precious? Did anyone else you worked with know where each of Morgen’s faded scars was on his body the way you did? Why, when Morgen asked for your advice on how to use healing magic, did your heart flutter?
Is this what love feels like? You touched a hand to your racing chest, feeling the rapid beat underneath. This warmth and lightness, that must be it.
But the more that love grew, the more you noticed something else about Morgen…
“Oh this is nothing compared to the satisfaction of a job well done.”
“I’m only doing my job, nothing big.”
“I’m glad the recovery was quick. It means I get to go back to doing what needs to be done.”
“It’s my duty, so I don’t mind getting hurt along the way.”
Words like those from Morgen filled you with unease.
You came to the infirmary for an overnight shift, your main duty being to check on patients in private quarters for potential updates on their conditions and aid them if need be. As you closed the door to one room to let the patient rest in peace, you heard a crash from a different room nearby. No hesitation, you bolted towards the noise until you found the room where slow shuffling and labored breathing was heard from within.
Your stomach sank recognizing the room number.
You swung open the door. The scene inside was Morgen, on one knee and leaned against the wall as he was halfway to the door. The covers of his bed were pushed aside and the table beside the bed was knocked over. A wood vase spilled water and flowers on the floor.
“What are you doing?!” you yelped as you rushed to Morgen’s side and helped him up. “You were prescribed two weeks of bedrest. And that’s the minimum. Morgen, if you try to push yourself—”
“I can’t sit around waiting…”
Morgen’s head hung low. His hair formed a curtain around his head, making it impossible to tell what face he was making.
“I was supposed to be part of the front lines during this battle with the Diamond Kingdom but I was defeated so easily. Now I’m here while my friends are fighting without me.”
“Because you were in critical condition and you need to recover,” you said. Your voice came out weaker than intended but perhaps you had instinctively matched Morgen’s volume.
“I thought I could be better, stronger.”
Morgen began to waver until, even with you supporting him, he crumpled to the floor. You managed to keep your arms around him and slow the fall. The resulting position was the two of you, kneeling on the floor and Morgen leaned against you, his head resting on your shoulder.
“Do I really deserve to be a Magic Knight if I’m in a state like this? Have I been able to do anything for anyone?” Morgen’s breathing grew louder, deeper. “I keep failing…” His body began to curl up, into yours. “I’m never strong enough…”
One drop. Then two. Followed by a few more.
Hot tears were falling onto your shoulder.
“Morgen… You’re… I think…”
Your words drifted away, useless in the moment.
So you wrapped your arms around Morgen in an embrace.
The room was quiet. Not even Morgen’s crying disturbed the stillness of the dimly lit room. You hugged Morgen as he pressed himself into you. Morgen wasn’t heavy but he felt weightier than usual. Like there was something pressing down on him. It felt wrong.
Why do you have such a warped view of yourself?
The question came to mind as you observed Morgen’s state. It remained stuck there until you were unable to keep your eyes open, let alone on the young man in your arms.
The last thing on your mind before it all went dark was, Maybe if I told you… You’d see yourself differently…
“Thank you for all your hard work,” he would say while shaking your hand and meeting your gaze unfailingly.
Once, you received a handwritten letter from him, congratulating you on a recent promotion and suggesting a cafe to treat yourself at. It had you smiling for the rest of the day.
You wanted to cherish the giddy feeling Morgen gave you.
But that feeling was at war with another in your heart.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been here,” Morgen laughed when he dropped by to check on a fellow Grey Deer at the infirmary. “I’m a lot stronger, and even when I get hurt, I’m good enough to heal myself so I haven’t had a need to visit. My apologies for that.”
Even when he had to come in and stay for extended periods, you and your colleagues would catch him healing himself to speed up the process.
Your worry for Morgen always lingered in the back of your mind.
You couldn’t even ask Morgen why he was always endangering himself on the job. He’d already told you the answer so many times.
“It’s my duty. If I must, I will give my life for the sake of the kingdom.”
But what did Morgen want for himself? You realized that he had never spoken about such a thing.
So one day, after giving him a routine check-up, you dared to ask.
“I want to be someone strong enough to protect everyone and everything I care about.”
“Oh, that’s…” You chewed your lip, trying to find something.
“It’s unrealistic, I know,” Morgen laughed at himself and dragged a hand through his hair.
No, that’s not it. You stared at Morgen and the blithe grin he often wore. Your one wish is… It’s not even for yourself. That worry for Morgen that your heart trembled with turned into a crushing ache. “I think you of all people could make it a reality.”
Morgen’s eyes went wide and he suddenly grabbed your hand. His touch was warm but against your skin which felt numbed, it felt searing.
“Do you truly believe that?” he asked, leaning towards you.
“Ah ha…” Morgen blinked a few times. Almost like he was forcing back tears. “Thank you.” He gave your hand a squeeze. “It feels good to be believed in.” Then, he let go of your hand.
But you wanted his touch back, even if it burned.
You maintained your composure as best you could until Morgen left. It wouldn’t do to have Morgen worry about you when you already worried about him. Once alone, you fell against a wall and sighed.
“So that’s it,” you muttered to yourself. “Everything I feel for him… It’s pointless.”
If you couldn’t give your feelings to the one they were meant for, then they were trapped.
Now slumped on the floor, you wondered if the weight on Morgen you felt that night many months ago was something similar. If it was Morgen’s own feelings trapped inside and weighing him down.
And there was nothing you could do about it. Morgen wouldn’t have let you if you tried.
@loosesodamarble OMGGGG THANKKK YOUU SO MUCHHH THIS IS AMAZINGGG 😭 ! HOW ARE YOU AND @ blackcloverenthusiast SOOO UNDERRATED!!!! 😩💗 I hope you two would make some stories more and I'll REALLY look forward to it!! SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT STORIES WILL YOU TWO COME UP WITH IN THE FUTURE!! 😚
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