She’s Gay.

(2019) it hid behind your teeth and you were too nervous to seek it out. you waited for the perfect moment until you couldn’t.

im forever stuck in this gay circus 

hehe boyfren silly heart go brr

The beginning of a beautiful friendship

guess stanley couldn’t cut it

girl who told me i smelled good in the mall bathroom in 2011: on my mind

Stan: *smacks Richie on the head with stick* SHUSH!

any over 40s in the house tonight? can we get the lights up on the crowd? houselights up, i wanna see some receding hairlines. you, with the crows’ feet, i have a question for you. what is it about hitting 40 that completely revolutionizes your internet history? used to be, id go on vacation for a weekend and i’d get a frantic call from pornhub because id been missing my thrice-daily dick appointments with the milf category and their site traffic was plummeting. now i watch porn sites once a week, as scheduled on my google calendar, just for those 2 seconds between when the page loads and your adblock kicks in, where you can still see the male enhancement drugs for sale in the sidebar. and i, like, think about it.

people always say that in a derogatory way, “oh, she’s a real yoko ono,” as if yoko ono wasnt right. imagine fucking a beatle while they were at the height of their international fame and then telling him his music was dogshit. she did what nobody else would. “but he doesn’t support your endeavors!” nothing could prove to me more that that i’m supported than if eddie’s rampant distaste for every word out of my mouth inadvertently results in my assassination. that’s how you know you’ve made it, if people want you dead. ive been writing that career goal in my diary, curly script in sparkle gel pen, since i was 6

it’s the same reason people buy those giant exotic snakes and let them sleep in their bed. they’re like “it loves me!” but you know when they bought that thing, they saw their past, present, and future, and they resigned themselves that it was for sure gonna eat them one day. you see an interview someone does about their big cuddly boa constrictor and then like two days later, the story’s: “snake owner found asphyxiated due to strangulation, sections of flesh missing.” you don’t go “oh no, what happened!” it’s a boa constrictor. its name is its job. anyway, eddie might love me, but when i die, it’s definitely because he killed me. i leave my clothes in the washer for like a whole day after i wash them, every single time. i know one day he’s gonna snap, and im cool with it

horror’s it girls

on a walk with another one he just paused, turned, violently shoved his hand into some rotting wood and offered me a tunnel web spider like oh okay i guess-