evil mastermind mel

You better walk that fucking duck

KAIJU BATTLE

when i was a baby i thought big words and oxford commas and kcup coffee machines make u smart. you know what makes you smart? loving ur friends.

Stop pouring Yaoi into the magical river where all water flows from and back to

deranged how americans force service employees to maintain for them westworld style the illusion that their taco bell drive thru employee is in it for sheer love of the game

like not that people don't treat service employees like human garbage the world over but i feel like america is truly unique in the perverted obsession with forcing them to act super fucking jazzed about it

americans will be like if i don't think the cashier at this walgreens is deriving spiritual moral and sexual pleasure from doing this job ill firebomb the fuckign building

a litter of baby geiger counters gathered around their mother clicking peacefully

comfy bed. take me home. to the place. where i belong. pillow blanky. sleeping soundly. take me home. comfy bed

the “humans are inherently selfish” fanclub can genuinely and in all honesty go to hell. i once came back from a school yard where the kids had heaped piles of leaves and cut wildflowers on a narrow strip of grass bc a bee had died. i actually want to cry.

when i was a child, my parents told me our houseplant would die of lack of sunlight. i was so young i don’t even remember this, but apparently, my response to this was starting to carry the plant around like an emotional support stuffed animal. whenever my family went outside i would hold the pot on my head to make it reach the sun better. i wasn’t in school yet, didn’t have any exposure to the lessons on caring they give in elementary, i don’t remember my thought process - but i can guess. kids integrally care about things, even tiny bugs and inanimate plants. humans care.

don’t let them beat it out of you

i love telling people "godspeed" it adds so much weight and dignity to everything i'll say it to a friend driving cross country or a coworker grabbing lunch from the corner store like good luck bitch!! may the road rise to meet you and the wind be at your back!!!