Wedding Planning

Why does everyone seem to think that disparaging businesses is SO okay these days? It’s so easy to hide behind a computer and bash away! I thought long and hard before posting this, but it’s just NOT okay to write a negative review about a business for something that was completely out of their control. People are getting sued for defamation and that gives me something to think about.

Despite my request for Tom to remove the negative review for something that was out of our control, he didn’t. So since it’s there for all the world to see, I thought that I would share the REAL STORY for the world to see as well. You’re welcome!

Doesn’t the bride look thrilled as she walks down the aisle to see her groom to be? Yeah! I thought so too!

It’s not okay to bash my business because the bride didn’t smile. We are great at our jobs but we aren’t miracle workers! 

Let me set the scene for you. We have a couple scheduled to elope on Jekyll Island and my photographer (who happens to be a professional as well as my son) and I drive in the pouring rain to the hotel where the bride and groom are staying. We meet Thomas in the lobby and he and Robert make small talk while we try to come up with a good back up plan for the inclement weather. He was then handed a camera that belonged to the bride because they thought it would be easy for the photographer to juggle cameras during the ceremony and photo session. Awesome! We are already off to a great start here.

I headed up to the room to meet the bride, Stacie. No ones answers the door so I go back downstairs. I go back up to the room to find that she is nowhere near ready and is still getting her hair and makeup done.

Robert and I wait patiently for the bride. Mind you, in my agreement there is an additional fee if the ceremony does not take place on time. It never crossed my mind to charge them. We just went with the flow of things. I wanted them to be happy and after all, it was raining on their wedding day. We were excited that she was finally ready, the rain stopped and the sun was shining!

Robert escorted Thomas outside while I got the bride ready for her debut. One small problem...she didn’t like her hair and makeup. She said she wasn’t used to it and she seemed extremely uncomfortable. I assured her that she looked stunning and we went outside to begin the ceremony. 

New problem! THE GNATS WERE TERRIBLE! They were literally all over us and we were all equally uncomfortable as they feasted on us for the next 10 minutes while we stood in one spot. 

After a while, they calmed down, Stacie relaxed and she and Thomas seemed to be enjoying themselves. I set their wedding cake up for them outside near the pool so we could have a little fun and capture photos of that too. Just a little special gift that I thought I would add for them. 

After the ceremony and photo session, we had now spent over two hours with them and were scheduled for only one. We didn’t complain, we went up to their room to sign some paperwork and hugged and said goodbye. They seemed SO happy!

Once the photos were ready, I sent them a link to ALL of the digital files. Not once did the couple reach out to me to discuss that they were unhappy. I am assuming it’s because they knew that it was not our fault. THEN I received this review on WeddingWire.

So let me share some of these photos with you so you can see what we had to work with. This was what the ceremony looked like. Unfortunately we couldn’t change that!

She looks SO happy! I guess we should have photoshopped in a smile here.

That kiss! She really went for it here...

Here’s the Disparaging Review that Tom left:

Tom said... The cake was cool and the officiant did her job but the photographer “ her son” was unprofessional, not customer service friendly and unfortunately the end result was poor and disappointing. This was supposed to be a forever captured moment and we are truly saddened with his poor results. We will never have this opportunity again and he captured nothing of value other then his pic of our rings. I️ highly suggest you avoid this duo as we were not made aware the photographer was family Until he said mom! Very Misleading and unprofessional with pitiful results.

Lisa Presnell Productions responded with the following comments: I am truly disheartened to find out about your disappointment through a review about my company rather than you reaching out to me. In my 18 years in this industry, I have designed, planned, coordinated and officiated well over 1,000 weddings and this is the first negative review that I have ever received and I take it very seriously. When we arrived in the torrential downpour and then we waited patiently as your bride delayed us for well over an hour to finish her hair and makeup. I was kind enough not to bill you for the additional $300 as stated in our agreement. It was extremely muggy out, Stacie (as we all did) battled the gnats, was uncomfortable and did not smile throughout much of the ceremony and the beginning portion of the photo session. That is something that unfortunately, Robert had no control of. Robert was asked to carry and take photos with your camera in addition to his own. That should have never happened. It made it extremely difficult for him to do his job well, but he happily and professionally complied with your wishes. Even though the package chosen did not include photo shop, once Stacie relaxed, the photos turned out beautifully! You both seemed as though you were having a great time with Robert. Never once did you complain about his ethics. I apologize that you were unhappy. I wish you would reconsider disparaging Lisa Presnell Productions for things that were out of our control. He did the best he could with what he had to work with. For you to indicate that future clients should avoid us because we are family is truly insensitive and demoralizing. I am not sure why it mattered that he is my son. Robert and I have worked together for over 7 years and his photos are displayed all over my website and I have stellar reviews. Thank you again for your feedback. Warmest Regards!

Just so you know, when the bride relaxed and lightened up a bit, you can see that the photos turned out beautifully and the had a blast! Again, never once mentioning the photographer’s unprofessionalism because that was a complete untruth. I would never allow for my vendors to be unprofessional, son or not. It’s my reputation on the line.

de·val·ue / dēˈvalyo͞o/ verb

To reduce or underestimate the worth or importance of. "I resent the way people seem to devalue my achievement"

synonyms:

belittle, depreciate, disparage, denigrate, decry, deprecate, treat lightly,discredit, underrate, undervalue, underestimate, deflate, diminish,trivialize, run down;

informalknock, sell short, put down, badmouth, pooh-pooh, pick holes in

"your attempts to devalue Stephen and his contributions will not be tolerated"

REMEMBER MY BLOG IS CALLED “WITHOUT THE SUGAR COATING” SO DON’T OFFENDED BY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. 

I begin this blog with the definition of “devalue” because it is key in a conversation that I had recently with a potential client...

Client: "We are having just a small intimate wedding at Huguenot Park and we just need someone to perform the ceremony and file the license." Me: "Congratulations! That’s very exciting. By the way, how did you hear about about Lisa Presnell Productions?" Client: The internet, plus a lot of people recommended you when we asked.”

Me: Great! So you have had a chance to visit my website I assume. For your convenience, I have packages and pricing listed. You will find that we have several packages to choose from. I am happy to walk you through them. The standard fee for this service is $---- and includes.....

Assistance with location confirmation if applicable

Vendor Referrals and Selection

Reception Venue Referrals

Outlined Ceremony Order

Officiate Service or Vow Renewal with Customized Wedding Vows 

Legal Filing of Marriage License after the ceremony (does not apply to vow renewal) 

Framed Keepsake Wedding or Renewal Certificate 

Unlimited Email and Phone Consultations

Client: "We don’t need all that. I ain't paying nobody $---- to come out for 5 minutes of service. That's ridiculous." Me: "Well sir, you will be getting more than 5 minutes of service.  There is also the travel time and it is a Saturday during peak season. In addition, I will take time to customize a ceremony to fit your personalities and preferences. Basically I will be a personal assistant to you in coordinating and planning your ceremony.  I pondered for a moment thinking...why didn't he look at my website and review my prices before he called? He found me on the internet. Me: "Well it’s great to hear that we came highly recommended to you. We have worked hard to create a valued reputation here in our community. I do apologize if you feel that my services are out of your price range. We are professionals here at Lisa Presnell Productions and we have rave reviews. I can assure you that we are well worth our prices. Again, you will certainly be getting more than 5 minutes of our time and our attention to detail is first class." Client: "Well I ain’t paying that. Can you recommend someone cheaper?" Me: "No sir, I’m sorry but I can’t. That is a service that we offer and we are happy to do it for you. Should you change your mind, please let us know."

WOW! MIND BLOWN! It was really hard to keep my composure. I am not going to apologize for my prices. I am well worth what I charge. I was just asked to go out to the beach in the dead of summer, formally dressed to perform a ceremony. There is drive time, time to walk out to the beach area and wait for the clients in the hot sun, time to line everyone up to enter, then to perform the ceremony and drive back home. Not to mention, it will take several conversations and rewrites to get the ceremony script perfect. It’s way more than 5 minutes of my time. It’s to get people to understand when they only hear what they want to hear.

Please for the love of my sanity, do not devalue me because you are unhappy with my fees. Do a little research! Save us all the trouble and look at my website, after all you found me ON the internet! It's disheartening to be devalued because "you", someone who knows absolutely nothing about my background, what I do or what I offer, thinks I am unworthy of my prices. If you don't like my price, that is fine. Say thank you and move on. Words Hurt! Not to mention, you already took up 20 minutes of my time that I wasted on that conversation. See! More than 5 minutes already!  P.S. I remember a time that clients decided to go with someone cheaper (No problem, I get it.) That person didn't sign their license and was unable to be contacted. Not soon after, their company was on blast in the news because they were scamming clients out of money. The couple ended up not being legally married and would have been prevented from honeymooning abroad. They then called me in a panic to come to their rescue. Of course I did, because I am pro and that's what I do. I didn't even charge them after this fiasco. They became two of my biggest fans and have since referred friends and family to use my services. You get what you pay for! You want cheap, that’s fine. I’m not cheap! I am a true professional with a business license, business insurance, overhead and all the things that cost money to run a legit business. Think before speaking and offending hard working individuals who have proven to be top professionals in their industry. I’m sure that you wouldn’t want someone to treat you that way.  

NO apologies here for not Sugar Coating it!

How to create the perfect Beach Themed Boutonnière by Lisa Presnell Productions. 

You may be confused about what RSVP means on an invitation so I am here to explain it to you. The term RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond." 

I know what you’re thinking WTF? Well you would be right because it drives me insane that people just do not not understand what it means to RSVP however so as not to offend anyone, let’s pretend that WTF means “With Timely Fashion” or “What That’s For” Sounds good right? That’s a cleaner version anyway.

When RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party.

RSVP does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance).

It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event and needs it by the date specified on the invitation. Most importantly, failing to RSVP does have its consequences. If you show up having not RSVP’d, please bring a chair, a TV tray and sack lunch! Just kidding...but not really.

Many people wonder if they can bring a guest.  It’s very easy to determine without asking. The invitation will be addressed specifically to the invited guest or guests. The invitation will indicate “Mr. John Doe” for just you or “Mr. John Doe and Guest” or “Mr. John Doe and Ms. Plain Jane” if it’s appropriate to bring someone (aka a +1). 

SEE BELOW: Mr. & Mrs. John Doe have been invited (because they are married)....no children...no additional guests. Who gets to RSVP? Mr. & Mrs. John Doe for 2 people only.

 The invitation will be clear who is invited. Couples are often named together, sometimes followed by "and family," which would include your minor children. It may indicate you are able to bring a guest, often called a "+1." If you don't see any indication that the invitation allows you to bring a guest, you should assume it is only for you and anyone else explicitly named.

In addition, if your children are invited, their names will be listed as well as yours. Do not be offended if your date or your children were not invited.  There is a reason for the decision and you should respect that. While they may love your kids, not all children behave their best at weddings and it can become quite uncomfortable like when a little girl swings from the bride’s dress screaming "I want to dance with the princess!” during her first dance with her new husband (while the parents are at the bar not paying attention) or when a little boy peeks his head under the bride’s dress as the groom removes her garter (while the parents sit across the room embarrassed but busy juggling their other children). TRUE STORIES and Their photos are ruined by the way. You don’t get do-overs on those moments.

It is not polite for you to include anyone if it is not indicated on the invitation.  If you feel upset by this, kindly decline and for the love of sanity, please do not just show up with people for whom you have not RSVP’d. It’s a wedding planner’s nightmare!

SEE BELOW: Mr. & Mrs. John Doe replied appropriately for the two of them.

Return your RSVP immediately!

It’s important to RSVP immediately. This is especially important if you are not attending.  The bride and groom have a big job planning this special day and they need an accurate head count as well as making seating arrangements. Waiting until the last minute to RSVP can be very stressful for them.  Most importantly is unacceptable to show up without responding. The caterers prepare specifically based on the the guest count given. Showing up unexpectedly can be an embarrassing situation and once again…stressful.

You should feel honored to have been invited to share this memorable occasion so be respectful and RSVP in a timely manner, do not invite other people and don’t show up if you didn’t respond.

Yes Please! Photographers, Officiants and couples themselves, have all become irritated with phone obsessed photo-hungry guests who don't stay seated or remain still during the ceremony. Guests are ruining the photos by blocking the photographer or distracting the couple. It’s problem and we want it to stop!

I recently officiated a wedding and not only did the bride have a sign in place for the guests, I was asked to make an announcement. I never imagined that adults would groan at this request like they did. It would never complain if someone asked me to not take amateur photos or video of them, so their paid professional could actually do their job without distraction. Nor would I complain that I was asked to be a guest and to enjoy and embrace the moment with them.

Here’s the issue, take this photo for example. As the bride walked down the aisle, we had the groom turn around so the photographer could capture the groom’s expression when he saw he saw her. This guy jumps up and just like that....RUINED! The first look, the walk down the aisle, the kiss…those are special moments and there are no do-overs. 

In this next photo, I officiated this sunrise beach ceremony. The guests were constantly moving around, blocking the photographer and totally distracting me. Prior to beginning, I politely asked them all to remain still throughout the ceremony so the photographer could do his job, but they weren’t having it. I think maybe two people did not have a camera or phone in their hand and were actually present for the ceremony. No matter what angle the photographer tried to get, someone had a phone or camera in thier in their hand.

It’s extremely intrusive when the officiant wants to begin a heartfelt speech or the couple are sharing their vows, only to have guests reaching over their heads or standing up and moving around in front of the photographer, all to get that perfect shot from their cell phone. 

The solution, an unplugged ceremony. Couples are making custom signs and having the officiant explain their request for all cell phones, devices and cameras be put away so the professionals can do their jobs. We agree! 

One of the most heartbreaking things to me is when a bride just wants the wedding to be over because she is under so much pressure to please her mother.  Guess what Moms?  It’s not your day!  It’s your daughter’s day!  Just because you might be paying for the wedding doesn’t give you the right to plan everything according to how YOU envision it.  You don’t get to recreate the wedding of your dreams because maybe yours wasn’t exactly the way you wished it had been. Your daughter doesn’t those crystal kissing swans on top of her cake! She asked me to lost those by the way.

I once planned a wedding and it was absolutely incredible.  It was flawless…….who am I kidding, nothing is ever without flaw.  Especially when Momzilla is on the loose.  If I had a Xanex, I certainly probably would have considered slipping into mom’s drink.  I said I would have probably considered it.  I didn’t do it.

It is never okay for the mother of the bride to throw a tantrum in the middle of of the dance floor at the wedding reception (at a 5 diamond hotel) and scream “I hate the F@*&ing Music” repeatedly, to a point the bride breaks down in tears. Especially when it was a song the bride requested and was dancing to with her bridesmaids.  Now that is crossing the line Mama! I have a problem with that. I don’t care who you are. Temper tantrums are unacceptable behavior when you are an adult.

It’s time to pull up my boot straps when things like this happen. I approached her on the now empty dance floor and said...“Okay, Okay calm down.  How can I fix this?  The bride is in the bathroom in tears right now because you are screaming at the top of your lungs. Do you want me to have the DJ play the music that makes you happy or your daughter happy? I mean after all it is her wedding day.” She stomped her feet and pouted the rest of the evening. I helped the bride dry her tears and return to her reception despite her humiliation and embarrassment.

Anyone who ever thinks that being a wedding planner is oh so glamorous, precious, sweet, and fun, get a grip! It’s not just fluffing dresses! It is stressful and emotional.  Being a wedding planner is hard!  You have to be everything to everyone.  You are a therapist and a counselor.  You are a best friend and you are a punching bag.  Be prepared to do battle and put your game faces on because there is no sugar-coating when it comes to this job.

I love what I do and I am good at it.  I have YEARS of experience. I don’t want to ever see that happen again, but bring it on Momzilla! I am no match for you. I will win!  Your daughter’s wedding will be perfect despite your tantrums!

To all you Mothers out there, take a step back, relax, breathe and enjoy your daughter’s special day.  Don’t let her memories of her wedding day include your complaints and screaming matches.  Just go with the flow and chill out. You had your day.

This isn’t meant to offend anyone.  It is meant to give you a reality check.  If it did offend, then the reality check worked and I won’t apologize for that. After all, I don’t sugar coat anything around here!

Congratulations! You just got engaged and I am sure you are excited to start planning. Planning a wedding can be very overwhelming. You read this, you hear that. There are tons of magazines, websites, not to mention all of the crazy wedding shows. How is anyone supposed to know what to do? All the while, you are really thinking “Holy Wedding Vows! Will someone just please tell me where to start?”

My first piece of advice is that not everything you read or hear is from a TRUE professional. Leave it to the experts to guide you. Your BFF that helped plan her sister’s cousin’s wedding in her backyard......NOT a professional. A lot of people like to think they are experts and refer to themselves as “Wedding Planners” because it's easy to do that. It doesn't legally require special training to say you are one. However, I can assure you it does take passion and years of experience and patience to become a wedding expert. So trust me when I tell you that it's okay that you have no idea where to begin. There are plenty of amazing and talented wedding pros that can provide the guidance you need.

RELAX

Enjoy this moment and shout it from the roof tops! Announce your engagement to your family and friends.  Relax and just celebrate this special time together.

T.M.I.

I know you are excited and the first thing you want to do is call every location and look at flowers and dresses and get ideas. This could very well be the cause of becoming overwhelmed during planning. T.M.I. Overload! Too Much Information! It can happen. Stop, breathe, and follow these simple steps that I am certain will help you plan the beautiful wedding you want and deserve....while helping maintain your sanity.

VISION

I feel strongly that one of first steps after engagement should be a discussion with one another on how you both envision your special day. Most women have dreamed about their wedding day since they were a child, others have not. Many men would rather the bride make the decisions, other men like to get involved with the planning. It's probably something you haven't talked about before since you are newly engaged.

Do you want a big wedding with grand décor or do prefer a small civil ceremony with sand between your toes?

Regardless of your vision, the bride and groom both need to be on the same page.

BUDGET

Let's be realistic. Have you thought about it? There is no need to start making any phone calls to venues, florists, photographers, etc. if you haven't considered your budget. You must know what you can spend on your wedding before you request information. Otherwise, you waste your time and the vendor’s time. Refer back to T.M.I. You have just gotten information that you don't need until you determine your budget. Who is paying for the wedding? How much do you have over-all? Now take that number and do a little research on the average prices for wedding flowers, disc jockeys, bands, wedding planners, and any other professional services you need. Once you have an idea of those things, break your budget down for each element of your wedding so you can see where you may need to adjust.

REALITY

I like to refer to my personal reality as “Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget” because it perfectly describes me. I always want more than I can truly afford, and I am determined to find a way to make it happen. It’s an unhealthy obsession. If I can use my personal issues to help other people, then I feel good about it. So now you know your vision and your budget. Realistically can you afford your vision? Don't let that sound discouraging. You want to be honest with yourself or the wedding planning process will become stressful. Planning your wedding is a happy time and should be fun. Some people have “The Sky's the Limit” budgets, but that is not true for most couples. Some have modest yet strict budgets and others have petit budgets. Whatever your situation may be, just be honest with it and know what you can realistically afford. Clearly, planning with an unlimited budget makes it all very simple. Well, there are a lot of very simple steps you can take to create the wedding of your dreams with a smaller budget too. For instance, consider a Mid-Sunday afternoon wedding. It can be very cost effective. Plan after lunch and before dinner so you eliminate the need for a large meal. You just have to be open to fresh new ideas.

VENUE

You have a vision, determined the budget, and had a reality check. Now it’s time to view locations that will correspond with it all. Start visiting websites first and review them thoroughly. The internet is great because most companies provide an abundance of information online to save people time. I love it because I will know right away if it works for me and then I can move on. If you feel it's a site that might be a nice match, schedule an appointment to view it and meet the Manager. Before you do, you should share your vision and your financial plan. This helps them to better assist you by making recommendations to help you stay within your budget.

DATE

You might be wondering why the date falls so far down the list. Well, why would pick a date and then have to piece everything else in around it? Most dates can be adjusted and you should always be flexible. I realize that sometimes that a date is the most important thing for various reasons. Then by all means, pick the date first. I can just promise you if you fall in love with a location that is not available on that date, it will become a difficult decision. A date should be flexible for you as it is never flexible for the venue.

THE PROFESSIONALS

I feel very strongly that you should choose your location and your date before you start contacting other professionals. The facility may have their own vendors they recommend or in some cases require. The manager of the facility will guide you on this. If they do allow you use your own professionals please keep in mind that those that they suggest, they do for good reason. They are experts that they have worked with and trust. They are also familiar with their venue and that is an added bonus.

CONSULTANT OR NOT

As a Professional Wedding Consultant I want to tell you that you absolutely need to hire one. However, that really wouldn't be fair. It totally depends on the size of your wedding and your wedding party. If you have a very large party and expect a large number of guests, the value of a consultant is priceless. Their duties can range from assisting you with your budget, venue, invitations, etc. to just having someone assist you on the day itself to ease a little stress and make it run smoothly. Only you can determine that need and its value to you. I will offer a suggestion, there are no “Cookie-Cutter Weddings” and there is no such thing as “Day Of Coordination”. Every wedding is unique and you don't want to hire someone for your special day that has no true idea of who you are or what your vision for your wedding is. Be wary and choose a true expert. We only get one shot at your wedding day, we don't get do-over’s. Ensure you hire someone experienced.

So I must admit that a bride I worked, inspired me to write this.  It broke my heart to know how stressed out she is over choosing BRIDESMAID.  Planning your wedding should be the most amazing time of your life.  It’s not about anyone other than you and your fiancee so don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Here’s the deal!  YOU Choose your bridesmaids because they are who you envision standing next to you when you are saying your I DO’s.  Whether you are having a large wedding party or a small one, it doesn’t matter.  The ladies that stand up for you should be the first people you pictured being next to you on your special day.  You also need to choose a bridesmaid based on whether or not she can fill the roll.  She is not just standing there looking pretty.  She has a job.

Being a bridesmaid is an honor and also includes responsibilities and duties. The job also requires the brides maid to be available and supportive when the bride is in need.  Being a bridesmaid also has expenses such as a bridesmaids dress and the cost of pitching in for parties etc.

(FROM THE KNOT)

“The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding, on hand to comfort, console, multitask, and party hearty at all bridal events. Whether it’s your first bridesmaid gig or your 50th, here’s a cheat sheet of your to-dos.

▪ Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, “Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?” instead of just, “What can I do?”

▪ Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other wedding accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day — that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)

▪ Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.

▪ If the maid/matron of honor isn’t already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and bridal showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists.

▪ Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of all prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)

▪ Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant, or satisfy junk food cravings.

▪ Stand in the receiving line at the bride’s request.

▪ Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.

▪ Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.

▪ Give the matron/maid of honor a break by helping to carry the bride’s wedding gown train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked.

▪ Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to wedding gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.

▪ Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress — even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful.

▪ Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day.”

SO with all of the being said, the decision is yours….not your mother’s, not your sister’s, not your friend’s…IT’S YOURS. It is your wedding day and it has nothing to do with anyone but you and your future husband.  Do not let anyone persuade you into choosing someone because of a “family obligation” or some other lame excuse.  Furthermore, if they are upset about your decision, don’t let that dissuade you from going on with your intended plans.  Let them put on their big girls panties, suck it up, and be supportive of your decision.  If they aren’t?  Then they don’t really care about you or your feelings and are clearly undeserving of such an honorable roll in your wedding.

If you choose a person because you are pressured, you will be unhappy and resentful all through the planning process and on your wedding day, not to mention, FOREVER. You will never forget it.  If you plan your wedding day exactly as you envisioned then yes, they might be upset.  That is pure selfishness and selfish cry babies have no place at your wedding.

And that’s how I feel about that!    Forgive me for not sugar coating it.  Do it for you and no one else.  Good Luck! 

As a Professional Wedding Consultant I want to tell you that you absolutely need to hire one. However, that really wouldn't be fair. It totally depends on the size of your wedding and your wedding party. If you have a very large party and expect a large number of guests, the value of a consultant is priceless. 

Their duties can range from assisting you with your budget, venue, invitations, etc. to just having someone assist you on the day itself to ease a little stress and make it run smoothly. Only you can determine that need and its value to you. I will offer a suggestion, there are no “Cookie-Cutter Weddings” and there is no such thing as “Day Of Coordination”. Every wedding is unique and you don't want to hire someone for your special day that has no true idea of who you are or what your vision for your wedding is. Be wary and choose a true expert. We only get one shot at your wedding day, we don't get do-over’s. Ensure you hire someone experienced.

A professional wedding consultant can prove to be a very valuable asset in planning your special day. Whether it’s an intimate affair or a grand gala, a consultant can offer as little or as much service as you need.

I have over 18 years of wedding and event planning experience. I promise that I am still learning new things each and everyday. Weddings can be very stressful, yet planning your wedding should be a very happy time in your life.

A consultant can offer the advice, expertise and the comfort that you need to enjoy this time and focus on just being engaged.

Professional Wedding Consultants offer a wide range of services beginning from arranging a private elopement for the couple to assisting on a larger scale with venue selection, bands, flowers, cakes and much much more.

The first step is having a vision of your wedding day. Next, schedule an appointment with a consultant to discuss your ideas and see how they may make things a little easier for you.

A note from a previous article of mine…”My first piece of advice is that not everything you read or hear is from a TRUE professional. Leave it to the experts to guide you. Your BFF that helped plan her sister’s cousin’s wedding in her backyard……NOT a professional. A lot of people like to think they are experts and refer to themselves as “Wedding Planners” because it’s easy to do that. It doesn’t legally require special training to say you are one. However, I can assure you it does take passion and years of experience and patience to become a wedding expert. So trust me when I tell you that it’s okay that you have no idea where to begin. There are plenty of amazing and talented wedding pros that can provide the guidance you need.”

I know that as a wedding consultant not only can I arrange for catering, entertainment, flowers, cakes, and more, I offer a level of comfort and peace of mind. I also know that alone is the perfect reason to hire a consultant.

Etiquette for attending wedding is actually pretty simple.  I consists of the simplest common courtesies.

So you received an invitation to a wedding.  Guess what?  That means you are someone very special to the bride and groom and you should be honored to be on the guests list.  You being there on their big day is such a great way to show your love and support.

Here are a few suggestions…

The Invitation

Many people wonder if they can bring a guest.  It’s very easy to determine without asking. The invitation will be addressed specifically to the invited guest or guests. The invitation will indicate “Ms. Lisa Presnell” for just you or “Ms. Lisa Presnell and guest” if it’s appropriate to bring someone.  In addition, if your children are invited, their names will be listed as well as yours. Do not be offended if your date or your children were not invited.  There is a reason for the decision and you should respect that. It is not polite for you to invite anyone if it is not indicated on the invitation.  If you feel upset by this, kindly decline.

Return your RSVP immediately

It’s important to RSVP (répondez s’il vous plaît) immediately.  This is especially important if you are not attending.  The bride and groom have a big job planning this special day and they need an accurate head count.  Waiting until the last minute to RSVP can be very stressful for them.  Most importantly is unacceptable to show up without responding.  The caterers prepare specifically based on the the guest count given.  Showing up unexpectedly can be an embarrassing situation and once again…stressful.

Always Send a Gift

Whether attending or not, if you have been invited, you should send a gift. You may send a gift in advance or it may be brought to the reception.  Check to see if they have a registry.  It’s important to give a gift that the bride and groom want.  For instance, they may prefer that guests donate to a charity in lieu of gifts.  There is no obligation to send a gift if you receive a “wedding announcement”.  However a note of best wishes would be kind.

Behave

Don’t show up late, dress appropriately and be respectful.  You should never “sneak” in to the ceremony.  If you are late, politely wait and join the reception after.  It can be disruptive to show up during the ceremony.  Remain quiet through the service.  Talking is rude.  Most importantly, please don’t partake in TOO many cocktails.  Nothing can ruin a reception quicker than an intoxicated guest. Don’t be that girl (or guy)! 

That’s it!  It’s all pretty simple really.  Congratulations on being invited!

I want to share a little bit of knowledge about pricing. I share this because recently a client contacted me and asked me if I could match a competitors price.

I asked her how many years of experience the competitor had. They were in fact new to the planning field compared to my near 18 years of Wedding & Event Planning Experience.

I asked her if they had 5 Star reviews. Their portfolio was rather small.

I asked her if they had a business license. She didn’t know, but I know they are not registered with the state.

I then asked her why she didn’t use them if they had a great price.  Why me?  She said “Everyone I have spoken to, recommends you and you have great reviews.  I love the photos of the events you have done.”

I wanted to say “Then that should answer your question.” I didn’t. I simply informed her that I could not match the competitors price because they can not match what I offer. If you ever wonder why one business might be more expensive than the other, please consider the following:

1) Are they a legit business registered with the state? That costs money. We have legal fees, taxes, etc.

There are many people out there that claim to be a business but are in fact not registered as a business and do not pay the fees and taxes that real business owners do.

2) How many years have they been in the business?

Expertise goes a long way. When someone is seasoned, they are likely to be little stronger in that field than someone just starting out.

3) Do they have continued education or schooling in the field?

That costs money. It also means that they have studied that area so they are more familiar with it than say, someone who hasn’t. However, hands on experience can be more relevant than schooling.

4) Have they won any awards / good reviews?

It’s proof that they have earned their wages. If someone has won awards for their expertise it should be recognized when comparing prices, as should what their clients are saying about them.

It happens all the time. People ask me to discount my price or match someone else. I am fine with competitors having low prices. They can do that if they so choose. Remember with anything in life, “You get what you pay for”. I am not saying they may not be good because they are cheaper. I am saying that I am a seasoned professional and I am worth what I charge. My reviews reflect it. “…Her services were at a reasonable price and worth every penny as she saved us a lot of money with other vendors. I highly recommend her and think you would be doing yourself an injustice to not hire Lisa Presnell​ to coordinate your big day!” – Kara

I’m not tooting my own horn. Although I should.  I have worked hard and I deserve it.  If I plan your wedding or event, I hope you’ll agree. 

If you are a business owner, don’t devalue yourself by discounting just because someone asks you to. No apologies, no sugar coating. 

A recent message from a friend inspired me to write this post.

Do YOU work for free? Valid question, right?  I am assuming that the answer is, NO.  That is why I find it so surprising that people will ask me to.

Friend: “Hey Lady, I have a friend who needs a wedding DJ. Any suggestions?”

To which I quickly responded: “Yeah she should hire me to plan her wedding and give her suggestions.” (followed by a goofy emoticon.)

I went on to add: “My shoulders hurt. Do you have a friend that gives free massages? Oh and I could really use a pedicure. I don’t want to pay though.” You get the point!

I assumed that she didn’t, although she offered to give me one herself.  She’s a smart ass and I love her for it.

She’s a good friend so we both laughed it off.  She gets it! Now please understand that this happens ALL the time.  She is not the only one and I am not picking on her.  I adore my friend.  She just inspired me to write about it.  So Thanks Girl! We all need a little inspiration from time to time.

I am a Professional Wedding & Event Planner. People hire me to “Consult” with them, give them suggestions and to plan their events. Not only am I a Consultant, but I am a business owner.  I am my own Sales & Marketing Team, my own Web Designer, my own Accountant (which I need to do a better job with) and my own Assistant.  That’s a lot of responsibility and I can’t afford to work for free.

I don’t go into your place of business and expect free services.  Why is it such a difficult concept for some people to grasp? You don’t go into a Doctor’s office and say “Hey Doc, I have this thing.  I don’t want to pay you but can you tell me what it is?”

I spent two hours with clients just yesterday giving them advice and showing them around.  I have had the date held for two weeks. I have spent several hours getting prices and generating proposals and contracts. I scheduled another meeting this morning on my day off so that they could sign the contract for services, some of which they have already received. I got out of bed, got dressed, and was heading out the door. I received a text stating that they are going to think about it some more.  They were a lovely couple and I enjoyed spending time with them however I should have charged the consultation fee. Lesson learned……again! I deserve to get paid for my time and expertise like anyone else.

My job is a real job and I work hard. Wedding Planning is not a glamorous job consisting of me sitting around eating Bon Bon’s, sipping Champagne and giving out free advice.  I have said this before, “Anyone who ever thinks that being a wedding planner is oh so glamorous, precious, sweet, and fun…get a grip!  It is stressful and emotional.  Being a wedding planner is hard!  You have to be everything to everyone.  You are a therapist and a counselor.  You are a best friend and you are a punching bag.  Be prepared to do battle and put your game faces on because there is no sugar-coating when it comes to this job.”

I will save the complete job description and breakdown of duties for another blog post.  Let me leave you with this:

I offer a service. I have fees associated with said services. You pay me. I give services to you. I survive another day to pay my bills, keep a roof over my head and food on the table. It’s fairly simple.  Please for the love of my sanity, don’t expect me to work for free.  Don’t expect ANYONE to work for free.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I won’t apologize for being me. I’m direct. I speak the truth and I certainly don’t sugarcoat it. No sweet sugary typical wedding fluff from me but that’s what makes me great at what I do.  I am not going to lie to you and make you think something looks good when it doesn’t or make you think something will work when it won’t.