a steady heart

@ofdrvgvns

She nodded in response, riding the high off the adrenaline rush she felt at his response. She wasn’t sure why she was expecting a rejection, not when he had led them both down this road but she had her doubts. If she were naive, she’d have thought he meant his words literally. But there was no turning back now- worse case scenario they didn’t work but at least she could try. She owed the both of them that.

Smiling softly to herself, she gestured towards the back of the hall. “It’s down here.” Turning her gaze,  Rose pressed a cool hand to her warm cheek and took a deep breath in to calm herself just a bit. “At least we’re on the same page.” She chuckled to herself before beckoning him forward just as she began to walk back.

“I think this town’s had enough tragedy for a lifetime.” Why not replace it with something better? She thought to herself, biting her lip as they walked. The Creator and His agendas could wait, she knew she’d be loyal to the cause but the way her skin itched at the thought of having something- or someone so wholly hers was so much different than what she thought she’d feel. She grew to only pretend to feel- experiencing the real emotions felt almost exhilarating.

But the guilt was there and it was as daunting as the click of the door behind them. Thankfully the room was empty for now. “Jake…” she sighed before turning to face him, finding the right words to say. “I just… I’m sorry for our distance. I know things happen but I could’ve tried harder.” Suddenly she felt exposed, this was too much for her to admit all at once.

She was still strong. She’d always be.

“I mean, I just- I miss you. I really missed you.” A pause. “And I still like you.”

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shiiiiiiiittttt.

She smiled, and gestured, and this --- this was really happening, wasn’t it? A chance at --- an opportunity to ---- fffuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkk.

This day continued to deliver surprises, and he needed to keep up, to remember the exercises his grandfather taught and maintain composure.

Composure ---- what a joke.

Swallowing, he nodded, more to himself than to her, and picked up the pace to return to her side. She remained a step ahead for the most part, giving her space to lead him where she wished. But it felt ---- nice. Kind of normal. Not entirely, because this wasn’t high school anymore, but they were on the same page it seemed. And he just ---- she maybe ---- man, he should be better at this! Smoother than this! Calmer than this!

The Red Dragon shouldn’t trip over himself because of another person. ( even though rose wasn’t just anyone. )

“Yeah, hopefully tragedy just skips this town for a few years.” He felt his mouth move, heard the words, but didn’t truly register what he said. The topic shouldn’t be an afterthought; it was his duty to ensure this town was always at the forefront of his thoughts and actions.

But she led him to a room, shutting the door behind them as he walked in, and when he turned to face him, he could only focus on this moment; he could only wonder what the next one would bring.

She faced him, lips parting, and his breath caught in his throat.

“I --- ” A crack. Taken aback, he cleared his throat, and began again. “I could have done more too. Tried harder to reach out. Talk. So it’s --- it’s good that it’s happening now, you know?

Because I ---- I missed you too. It’s been weird not talking as often as we used to. And it was --- yeah, I just --- I really missed you, Rose.”

And a chuckled escaped, breathless, weak, and he soon licked his lips. “And I like you too.” He couldn’t tell what she meant by that line. It could be that she liked his friendship, and that was fine. He could live with that.

He just --- wouldn’t press too much further.