long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

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@witchyseastars
long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

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you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too
I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and theyâre already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that donât have real words yet. itâs being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because youâre known. god. what a gift.
nooo tbe cigarete got gender dyspjoria :(((((((
shes gonna get on herbal replacement therapy i believe in her

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It feels cool to be "in" on celebrity gossip before anyone else. I ran into Californian Condor V9 and looked her up on the condor lookup website. It says her current mate is dead and she has no kids but I saw her with a new man AND a juvenile.
@bedupolker I hope you don't mind but I made a tabloid cover out of this
I used two more condor photos by Andrew Orr and Alam Clampitt from peregrinefund.org
Gotta use the skills I learned from making tabloids out of the Jane Austen novels somewhere right?
Great, now I feel like I'm bird shaming. Congrats V9 on your new family!
$300 swarovski bok choy
thoughts on tiktok?
my sincerest apologies to miss kesha i have nothing but respect for the party anthem of all time
need a bad sleep reset
this is a very delicate operation which involves not falling asleep until the late enough tomorrow that i can get a normal nights sleep
I didnât miss that social cue I just thought it was stupidÂ

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it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here
sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it
âproject hail mary is about the power of friendshipâ âproject hail mary is about hopeâ âproject hail mary is about accidentally becoming too important at workâ wrong wrong wrong youâre all wrong. project hail mary is about what it would take for a single man in his 30s to own a fully paid off beachfront property in todayâs economy
Some Caboose and obligatory Tuckington because yes why not
emperor kuzco was clearly gay
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ainât got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when heâs rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.
He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.
Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.
In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.
So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
In response to the question âHow did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?â there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writerâs room, and didnât review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.
Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. Itâs so catchy though, Iâm doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:
holy shit read the article. itâs worth it and completely batshit
This is fucking insane
I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted
World Heritage Post

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You know what I fucking eat up every time? The thing where one character is an optimist and the other is a pessimist, and something happens that just, snuffs the hope right out of the optimist, and the pessimist has to desperately try to do what the other has always done for them, cheer them up. I live for that shit omg.
When everythingâs going to shit but youâre on a kids show.Â
You know she had a million curses in that big ass head she got