WITCHING HOUR †

Today I had a horrible thought that imagine a world where everyone had to check in their location online by law and you couldn't lie or hide because they trace you with a microchip or satellites, like in the Truman show where they see him walking down the street and everyone has to get in to position.  With absolutely no where to hide, how claustrophobic. I also imagine everyone would be really content checking in and think that its the only safe and normal way to live and you're thought of as an outlaw if you don't, all very Stepford wife you know? Well I have decided I'm going to make a film about that. Not really a film actually, just a visual exploration of the idea...which I suppose counts as a film but in my dads words 'its not exactly Harry Met Sally'. I want to have insane clown make up and some bondage elements but not in a 50 shades of grey sense so housewives of planet earth don't get too excited. This is going to happen. Absolutely!

I'm incredibly excited for the upcoming film 'Don Jon' that was written and directed by who is possibly the cutest man in Hollywood, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. In his own words, the film is 'a comedy about how men and women treat each other, and how the media we consume can create unrealistic expectations that we put on one another. That's why the story centers around a relationship between a young man (played by me) who watches too much pornography and a young woman (played by Scarlett) who watches too many romantic Hollywood movies.'

I think that idea is fascinating and I'm intreuiged to see how the movie explores the idea further. There has always been a tremendous amount of pressure that we subconsciously place on our relationships as a result of Disney movies and fairytales, to pornography and how women have been portrayed in the past, and I can't think of a film that has dealt with the idea in a fresh and comedic way. So looks like I'm going to be putting on 500 Days of Summer, gaze at him and his cute dimples and wait patiently for the films premiere later on this year. Don't go breaking my heart, Joseph!

Ps. Even if you don't like the sound of the story, watch it purely for his newly formed six pack, buzz cut and macho-macho-man physique as he breaks his usual typecast with this role. Just do it.

‘To the Wonder’ by Terrence Malick does just that as we follow a beautiful, soft spoken french girl as she narrates her budding relationship and its inevitable breakdown through a stream of consciousness with an American tourist and man of very little words, Ben Affleck. The film seemed to pop up out of no where and if you have watched the trailer then you probably know less about the story than if you haven’t heard of it. Its beautiful, painful, and at points painful and beautiful and uncomfortable and downright slow all at the same time. (Sorry Terrence, but its true. I checked my phone a few times.) The films open focuses solely on the couples blossoming relationship, we know nothing about the context but that they are wild and free and have the kind of love that only lust in Paris can bring. After several shots of them being beautiful and in lust in Paris, soon the narrative crawls forward and a child is introduced as we discover more about our beautiful free spirited french girl. The film goes on to document their impulsive journey with Ben Affleck to a cookie-cut neighborhood in America as they struggle to adjust from their Parisian life to the American dream. Its largely uncomfortable, in a good way, due to the fiercely personal nature of the story and time and structure are seemingly absent from the films narrative. Instead it is driven largely by moods, feelings and floating sentences as opposed to character arcs and plots, to the point you sometimes feel as though you are watching something that you shouldn’t, its much too personal. The writing is beautiful and I almost wish it were a book, with the film used solely as a visual aid and reference for the imagination. I would describe it is a piece of art that deals with love as opposed to what our mind thinks of as a film. It deals with all kinds of love, the absence of it, torn between lovers and the overwhelming sensation of being loved too much, all of which is accompanied by the eery orchestral score and imagery of water, signposted clearly throughout letting you know that Terrence Malick and Terrence Malick alone could have conceived and delivered this hauntingly beautiful imagery.

After a tormented and troubled love affair my old, smashed up phone and I parted ways on sad and unsuspecting terms tonight. One minute I was getting in to my car reading one of my many many important emails (from groupon) and the next I was walking down buchanan street hyperventilating as I scoured the gutters for my most prized possession, the lifeline to my life. All alone, no one to turn to, scared out of its wits. After several blocked calls I came to the realization that alas, my old friend had been pick pocketed by a new, thieving owner and for the first time in a long time I am phone-less. Naked. My hands twitched for that beautiful rectangle in my coat pocket and I searched inside my car, outside my car, under my car and over my car. My heart racing and my mind spinning. My CHILD has been KIDNAPPED, I thought. I felt so alone. As I retraced my steps and went in and out of the nearest shops my panic was met by only stone faced expressions, scarce of emotion, as these good citizens quite clearly did not understand the state of emergency that had been declared. And then the realization hit me. It was only a phone. Only. A. Phone.

In the olden days (being twenty years ago), there would have been no phone to turn to in moments of boredom. If your partner left you at the dinner table to go to the toilet you would have had to content yourself with heaven forbid, twiddling your thumbs let alone getting to level three on candy crush. Only when something is truly taken from you do you realize your dependency on it. My name is Julia and I’m an iphone addict. I was attached to my phone as though it were an extension of my body. Not only would this thief that had stolen my baby be investigating my most personal relationships via my text messages, they could get up close and personal with my face and my world and the people in my world through my photo stream. I'm doomed. I began to curse my dependency on such a meaningless piece of software as I continued my search until eventually I accepted the inevitable, my cinema date is now cancelled because the code for my tickets was saved on my phone and the search was over.

Back in the car and put on a good feel good song to shake these bad vibrations. Oh wait - no itunes. As I made the lone voyage home I faced several of these ‘oh wait’ moments and it became apparent just how much I relied on this robotic device to physically live. Who am I without my instagram updates? My mail online app to inform me on absolute garbage? How will I know what Kim Kardashian ate for breakfast? I don’t even like her. And don’t get me started on facebook. I might as well throw my social life in to the seine and be done with it.  Quite soon, this worry and stress I was having about losing my phone turned in to mild annoyance and panic at how such a device could have such a hold over me and my life, and I be blissfully unaware, feeding the addiction with every swipe of the bittersweet touchscreen at a time. Good riddance to it. Thats the spirit.

From now on, I will live a more liberated, face to face daily experience of my life instead of through a robot. I wish I had my phone right now only so I could listen to Marina and the Diamonds I AM NOT A ROBOT whilst ignoring it. In all seriousness, I began to consider what a life without a phone may bring. Lets just throw it out there, the world is a dangerous place. Its unsafe to have your phone in your bag sometimes never mind venture out commando. I use the term commando in the context of being phone-less, because lets face it, going out without a phone is similar to going out without trousers. I have no idea why being on the phone in a risque situation brings comfort as though if you were to be attacked you could interrupt the thug by handing over your phone so they could receive a telling off from your dad. But for some reason it brings more comfort knowing that you’re a little bit less alone.

Lets not get started on the social circumstances of having a phone. ADD ME ON FACEBOOK, boys say in bars. Never mind ‘hello, how are you, whats your name’ - instead its straight to the point. GIVE ME YOUR NAME SO I CAN FACEBOOK STALK YOU AND IF I LIKE WHAT I SEE, I’LL ADD YOU AND GIVE YOU A POKE (now now, don’t be dirty.) Its actually quite terrifying. Imagine a world where you would have to meet up with your friends, or heaven forbid a new boyfriend, relying on their word alone that they would turn up, be there on time and have to physically MOVE in order to have a social life. I can’t tell which situation is more tragic, but the idea of having no phone is becoming less grotesque by the minute.

I think trouble looks better spelled trubble because it matches the rest of the sentence and not because I'm dyslexic but I do have dyscalculia which is okay because it rhymes with my name which is Julia. If you came here to expect some complex equations and actue angles then I'm going to disappoint you deeply because my new blog is going to be filled with wonderful things that I think are wonderful and rubbish things that I think are rubbish, such as complex equations and actue angles. Instead there will be film reviews because I'm a film making fairy, music videos, books, fashion, odes to the addams family and some occasional voodoo or grumpy cat among other meanderings.

Please do stay. Its nice here.