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@wishitwasreal
This blog is not so secretly run by @missing-childhood.
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All I really do is talk to myself and the handful of people who decide to listen. You're free to poke around here and get a look inside my mind. Maybe you'll find something interesting,
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Have a good day.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I’m exhausted. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to sleep, I wish I could just not exist for a while.
I myself am a character. A play put on by a figurehead designed to give a certain feeling. I am never my true self at any one point in time.
There’s nothing I can do that nobody else can. I’m no specialist at something, I’m not the best and most of the time I’m not even good. But I try so so hard to make myself necessary to someone. And all I find is disappointment when someone else can do it better.
Feeling terrible right now.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I wish I could handle being alone well because sometimes I just can’t deal with trying to please everyone. But I need people to talk to.
I feel like I’m being overdramatic, but it would just be nice if my friends actually engaged with something I was interested in for once, instead of it mostly being the other way around.
I wish I could handle being alone well because sometimes I just can’t deal with trying to please everyone. But I need people to talk to.
I’m not going to say nothing I do matters because it isn’t true. I know there’s someone out there. Some person, who’s life I’ve saved because I gave a damn to help them. Sometimes that idea is the only thing that keeps me going. I have to live.
I have to live, because I don’t want to think about what could happen to someone because I wasn’t there. Because I gave up.
sending a virtual hug, believe in yourself, be proud of the things you accomplished and respect the process and the things it takes to summon the courage to keep fighting every day.
Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me. I hope you have a wonderful life.
Faith has done nothing for me. I don’t hate people who turn to it for comfort, but I can’t deny the fact that no matter how hard I tried to believe that there was something good out there, that someone was looking out for me, I was left alone. I accomplished everything myself. I’m not perfect, but I am better than I was. I refuse to hand over my accomplishments to someone who has never answered my pleas for help.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I guess I would say I’ve been struggling recently. I’m tired of trying to catch up to everyone. I want people who are interested in what I’m interested in, but instead I force myself into whatever they want to do. But I don’t have any other choice really. If I didn’t, I’d have nobody. And while sometimes being alone sounds nice, I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be left with nobody.
Sometimes I wonder if I have blood on my hands. If the things I’ve said and done were enough to get someone to end their own life.
I think that’s my greatest fear, truly. The idea that I’m responsible for something like that. I don’t know what I’d do if I was faced with that knowledge, but I hope it never comes to pass.
I’ve begun to notice that everytime I acknowledge that it’s been a good day my day has suddenly become much worse. I think it’s superstition and it’s messing with me but… I’d just rather not risk it.
Just wanted to say that i really love the way you express your inner world. You might be young but your mind is beautiful and tragic but in a way that might make you feel proud in your future and i know that you will be proud of yourself for growing. Thank you for sharing your emotions and thoughts and thank you for being here, you're amazing and i wish for you to feel the same about yourself.
I might not know you but i know exactly how it feels, i've been there and in some points of my life i'm still there.. but a lot has changed in these 10 years and i'm still changing so please never give up because i can ensure you that you're going to grow and feel better ♥️
Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot to me.
Maybe I care so much about strangers because I didn’t have someone like that for a long time. Because I was the one constantly giving help and having to carry my burdens quietly because if I didn’t, someone would get hurt.
But I don’t think about that. I love you stranger. I care about you so much. You mean so much to me. We don’t have to have ever met. I care about you. I hope your life improves, I hope you get everything you want because I care even if nobody else does. Nobody deserves to not have anyone say that they care about them when they need it most.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I imagined myself standing at a lake.
The water was bright, reflecting the blue sky above me. I had never seen such clear water in my life. It was in the middle of a field that stretched out for hundreds of miles. Flowers dotted the terrain, the oasis and a large tree with its roots dug into the water the only notable landmarks. I stepped closer to the water, the dirt under my feet solid with no chance of slipping. I peeked over the edge into the water. A shimmering reflection of me stared back.
“Are you entirely yourself?” The reflection asked me. I couldn’t open my mouth, so I shook my head instead. “Does it haunt you that people create versions of you in their head that you have no control over?” I nodded. My reflection nodded with me. “Do you fear death?” I didn’t respond. Me and my reflection stared at each-other for what felt like eternity. It asked again, “do you fear death?” I finally shook my head. “Why not?” I opened my mouth, but it felt like ripping out stitches.
“Because I know there’s nothing after that.” I replied to my reflection. “But how are you so sure?” It asked me, mirroring my every movement into its own realm. “Because, we stop existing. Our brains don’t work and we return to the dirt and nature and that’s it. “ I answered. My reflection stared at me with faint smile. “But you have no way to prove that our last moments don’t last forever.”
“Is this my last moment?” I asked my reflection. “Maybe it is.” My reflection replied as clouds began to form and rain dropped into the once pristine lake. I stared into it as my reflection warped and became misshapen as the rain fell onto the eternally peaceful landscape.
Someone has been exploding my notifications all day by liking every post I’ve ever made and reposted. I don’t mind that much though.