buny:3

I answer the door covered in blood and bruises and bite marks and I’m like “you should see the other guy” and he’s covered in kisses

drunkenly agreed to let my aunt cut my hair last nite and it's so short i look like the hobbit. Fuck my hobbit lifeeeee

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

the princess is hmmphing and making a lot of unreasonable demands for someone in kissing distance..,.,..

Sucking off a girl under her skirt must feel good as fuck

i’ve had 3 trans women’s cocks inside me in the past 24 hours 🥴 words cannot explain how i’m feeling

Not spitting or swallowing but a secret, third thing

When i say "fight me" I mean "pin me to the bed and show me who's in charge"

and of course it should go without saying that i need to lose track of how many hands are petting me.

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

the footy fujo