SEMI-HIATUS.

you take your time !! tip tho: 1366X666 is the preferred size for your bg image. it fits better ^^

amysthemes.tumblr.com/p… THIS IS MY FAVE

thank you!! i’ll probably use this omg

my hiatus is OVER! but I’m not ready to write just yet. i’m going to be getting myself a new theme first, and mixed in with band camp, and taking my kitten to the vet, ii’m going to be very busy. if someone could link me some good themes i’d be happy to take a look, but i’ll try to get some work started tonight!

shitty graphic because i really don’t know how 2 make these lmao 

but!! this is a HUGE milestone for me. bucky is my favorite character of any marvel movie, comic, or any movie, book, comic, ANYTHING in general. bucky is someone i’m glad was created, because he’s such a great character and in a few ways, i relate to him (personality wise, of course lmao). so for over 100 people to follow me is honestly just mind blowing, and i can’t believe i’m here already with the little bit of writing i’ve done on here. thank you all so much!!! now it’s time for me to gush a little bit. 

favorites ever: 

@nctaperfectscldier // @lcnelybcy: asher, you’re not only my datemate and best friend, but you’re my biggest supporter. you help me work out the kinks of any character and you help me make graphics/backgrounds/stuff like that, and honestly, it’s just amazing. i couldn’t ask for a better partner, in every sense of the word. you’re so so so good and i gush about you too much. 

@outfcrblood: rina you’re?? such a good friend. i followed you and saw you said you wanted to follow another bucky, but i never thought i’d be one. i just wanted to send you some encouragement, because i knew you had it in you to make yourself happy. I’m so glad, though, because you put up with my whining and bitching, you write such a good ship with me, and you’re just the sweetest. keep doing you, babe, you’re a gift to this world. 

@likenineyearsold: we’ve talked ooc more than we’ve written together because of my sudden hiatus, and that’s only shown me what a great person you are. we clicked so fast and you’re just so sweet, and it’s so nice. i can’t wait to get more into our threads because i know they’ll be great, but beyond that, i’m glad we talk ooc and that i can call you a friend. 

@cadaverics: you were there for me to listen to me ramble about something that’s been really getting to me, and that means a lot. we haven’t talked much outside of that, but you’ve got one of my favorite characters ever. i follow you on every blog i think, because i not only genuinely enjoy your writing, but you’re such a good person and i hope we get to know each other better. 

@retrcstark: i’m so glad we clicked? we don’t talk a lot out of character lately and i’ve not been active, but just know that i love you so much. you have such great characterization, and i love your blog so much. i’m so glad i met you 

@smokersteeth: we don’t interact or talk ooc a lot but you’re one of the blogs i ALWAYS follow. i love your writing so much and i love your attitude and i wanna talk to you so much more bc you’re so good

@reniisms: gemini ur a gift i s2g. honestly though, you’re so good because you’ve followed my crazy blog hopping and talked to me when i needed it and i love you a lot for it. i hope we only get closer and closer as time goes on. 

@limitaticns: we’ve been plotting for like 86 years because i’m awful, but you’re so patient and sweet and i’m honestly so excited to write with you. i can’t wait for it, and i can’t wait to get to know you better

@stillmeithink: i love you sm??? you’re so good and i love you a lot and i can’t wait to grow as friends and roleplay partners. you’ve been nice & supportive of me from the start and i’m so gad

Now that I’m done gushing, though, I have more people i don’t really talk to/interact with but i’ll always love, because you’re just amazing people. 

The babes: 

@missicnreport, @spiderbit, @instinctsarebad, @allthisdeath, @huxiisms, @spiideroos, @shieldnarrow

there’s a BLOOD BOILING RAGE at the words. LET HIM FORGET? THE MAN WHO TOOK ADVANTAGE OF BUCKY’S OWN WIPED MEMORY? the rage is OBVIOUS on his face. the man who ruined EVERYTHING HE HAD WORKED TOWARDS was in front of him, in a little box, one bucky could EASILY break if he wanted to. if he wanted to, he COULD let him forget. he could SAVE HIM of the pain bucky himself went through.

but he doesn’t want to.

when he finally opens his mouth, the words are shaky. he could have JUST AS EASILY spoken russian, like he USED to, but the curl of his lip was all the “used to” he needed.

“let you forget like they made me? let you forget like i still do? i lost EVERYTHING because of you and others like you.” he can’t look up at the male, eyes down at the ground, the little interview table, anything he could besides ZEMO. but he isn’t done speaking.

“i have spent two YEARS trying to remember. trying to GET PAST what was done to me. i made a HOME in romania and you TOOK IT FROM ME. i made a home where i hurt NO ONE and you made me hurt my friend. you weren’t the one to take everything from me, but you’re the reason i have nothing NOW.”

but he still knows. he knows what its like to lose everyone you have, everyone you love. his parents, siblings, steve– he lost it ALL. and so had zemo, who had caused no problems previously. none on such a scale as this. and bucky found a level of COMPASSION he never expected. maybe it was the few months since everything went to hell and back. maybe it was that he was so tired of holding so much ANGER at this point. Maybe it was exhausted from EVERYTHING IN HIS LIFE.

I'm sorry that all my posts lately have just been me whining. I'm going to give an in-depth reason for that in case you care, but if not, i really on't blame you. all I do is whine now. And an in-depth reason for why I may delete this blog. But tl;dr, the person i trusted most excluded me, and that’s my biggest fear.