Winter Pines

Last option i've got.

Everything about you. Mind, body, the voice that I have yet to hear, the creations of your imagination. I am selfish. Too much time spent clinging Not enough air to be breathing Like everyone else I get attached to. But you're... Getting the worst of it. I don't like to lose the people who claimed they wouldn't leave. I don't like to lose the ones who drove me down the road of folly, to think that they were my destiny. I do not like, to see people cry because the outcome they received, was not what they believe should have been. I do not like, to see people cry because their FRIENDS are too busy to pay their troubles any mind I've seen people die for less. I know the worth of life. And each contact that I make with proximity of my life, is something more precious to me than I can put into words And I don't think that the view on the top row gets to see the darkest secrets of the vanishing act. I do not think that the cacophany, searing through the inner confines of my mind with it's shrill death's toll, is heard by anyone else. I do not feel, as though I am one to be loved though I am able to give it, to nurture it, to fucking LIVE it. I know the worth of life. Twenty plus years, sat in the peripherals of every loved one I ever dared hold dear Twenty plus years, sat in stagnation as my body and mind withered away in a scintillant shower of my insecurities Twenty plus years, wasted on fantasy and the living of a life that I wish I could have had Twenty plus years i've spent sat wasting away in the midst of a terrifying pit to which there seems to be no definitive end But all I really need. All I need is to keep staring at the screen, and keep believing every scene that passes before my eyes. Every life that flashes before my eyes is not my own but the life of a fictional self that has never and will never exist. I know the worth of life.