reese’s puffs!

Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”

Exhibit A: Jaskier being confirmed as bi a few seasons into The Witcher but I’m supposed to believe his relationship with Geralt was totally platonic and their entire passive aggressive homoerotic pining-across-decades dynamic was just buddies being buddies, actually?

Exhibit B: Despite Tim Drake and Kon-El having the gayest, most devoted, most ride-or-die dynamic in the world for years (not to mention Kon dressing like that in the 90s), Tim is confirmed as bi but I’m supposed to believe he doesn’t have a thing for Kon? LIES. And then Jon Kent is aged up and turned into the token bisexual superfam member, who also is just friends with his batfam bestie. DC Comics being cowards as usual.

Exhibit C: Dare I even mention the queerbaiting of Supernatural and the Destiel confession scene… turns out Cas probably has romantic feelings for Dean and then he just fucking dies… Homophobia? On MY CW network? Nooo

Kara Zor-El/Kara Danvers

• On June 28, 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife are assassinated. This is the match in the powder keg that ignites World War I.

• Soldiers living and dying in horrific conditions and in close proximity to one another means that diseases spread very quickly.

• One German soldier in particular contracts jaundice and is removed from the battlefield. This soldier is Conrad Veidt.

• Veidt is permitted to act in the army theatre until his condition improves and he is fit to return to battle.

• In 1917 he is deemed unfit to serve and is discharged from the German army.

• Conrad Veidt returns to the theatre and goes on to have an illustrious career on both stage and screen, gaining stardom by playing major roles in pictures such as Different From the Others (1919), the first pro-gay film known to exist, with Veidt as the lead; and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920), widely regarded to be the first true horror film, with Veidt as a major antagonist under the villain’s control. He is one of few silent film stars whose careers last through the advent of sound.

• In the late 1920s, Veidt travels to the United States to star in a few films for Universal Pictures. One of these films is The Man Who Laughs (1928), in which he plays Gwynplaine, the titular Laughing Man, who was surgically disfigured as a child to set his mouth in a permanent grin. This film is adapted from Victor Hugo’s 1869 novel, L’Homme qui rit.

• On April 25, 1940, the Joker makes his first appearance in the debut issue of the comic book Batman. It is generally accepted that the visual design of the Joker is based directly on Conrad Veidt’s appearance as Gwynplaine in The Man Who Laughs (1928). This is supported by the Joker’s creators, although their accounts of the Joker’s creation differ.

• The Joker goes on to become one of the most popular characters of all time, joining the ranks of characters of myth, legend, literature, and modern media whose stories will likely be retold and remembered until the sands of time have buried the bones of humanity forever.

• Enter tumblr user @the-muppet-joker (aka Croaker), who not only kins (mainly) the Joker and Kermit the Frog, but is also in a relationship with both of them.

• Tumblr user and YouTuber @strange-aeons makes a video delving into the twisted mind (and blog) of the Croaker.

• Croaker is angered by this, and so they schedule a duel to the death at @dashcon-two.

• They duel. Strange emerges victorious and is knighted by the Ball Pit Queen. Croaker dies and the funeral process is speedrunned with a heartfelt rendition of “Man or Muppet” performed by The Musical InterDudes. The singers held signs with individual letters spelling “KUNG POW PENIS”.

TL,DR: The Croaker owes his existence to jaundice and the 1914 assassination of an Austro-Hungarian noble.