Wait a minute ! Am I just high or has anyone ever remarked that guys’ wallets never have pockets for coins and that women’s wallets do. I mean, cis couples could be considered a good match because the dude can put his coins in his wife’s purse, but then you think of the poor wife whose wallet is so heavy. And gay guys? They’re destined to put their coins in their pockets, how inconvenient... And lesbian couples? They have twice as much space together ! They’re so lucky, it’s so nice to have a lot of change, they can have so many gums in the gumball machines !!!

My ex used to complain and send me angry texts when I was working late. My boyfriend sends me cute pics of our cat sleeping when I work late now so I think I can call that a huge upgrade

When I text my boss or my coworkers I smile hoping that they will feel it reading my emojiless message

Last night I dreamt that 21 pilots had covered Under Pressure by Queen and tbh it was the most awesome concert I’ve never been to

Somehow I used to be worried that there could be mind readers in every room I entered but now everybody has AirPod so they can’t hear my thoughts anymore

To go home from work I need to take a taxi and when I first started I was very careful on which car I was getting in (newest taxis, not too much bumps on it, if they had a money meter...). Now I just think « fuck it I’d rather die than staying here one more minute, I’m too tired for this »

The only thing that didn’t change after college since I started working in an office is that I keep doing buzzfeed quizzes when I’m supposed to work

I’ve never seen a drive thru atm before... Moroccan people really live in the future

When I was 9 or 10 y/o I read something about how you shouldn’t sleep on your left side because your heart could shrink or flatten, and because of that I haven’t slept on that side for years. Oh boy... I was dumb, I don’t even remember where that shit was from...

Did someone ever wonder how does Dragon look like after Donkey drinks the happily ever after potion in Shrek 2?