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Give a like/reblog if ya interested in beatin' stuff down wit' ya boy Guzma. Personal blogs DNI
Da Rulez

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Please reblog if you’re genuinely here to write, build dynamics, and keep active threads. Even more importantly: if you’re here to interact with your mutuals’ content: liking, sending asks, and engaging beyond just lurking
One day someone should force Guz to open up about his experiences with Nihilego...
NSFW = Nobody's Safe From Wimpod
Yup.
You guys can't handle Guzma's Shiny Wimpod.

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HAHAHAHAHADASFNBDSA
Since Katee reminded me, let's see if Tumblr flags this again because shiny Wimpod is too hot for it
Bald Guzma
random misc dialogue … sentence starters
tw: mentions of rejection, death
“You sound like my dad.”
“Are you hurt or are you scared?”
“He looked like a Gilligan’s Island extra.”
“You might be a doofus, but you’re my doofus.”
“I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life.”
“Are you trying to creep me out? ‘Cause its working.”
“He gave me flowers… and I panicked and ate them.”
“How many chocolate truffles does it take to kill a man?”
“Don’t talk to me like that. Don’t ever talk to me like that.”
“You’ve given me too much power and I am already corrupted.”
“I just want to be every animal’s friend, is that too much to ask?”
“There’s a lot going on here. More than I can deal with. I’m sorry.”
“I mean, I was only legally dead for a couple minutes. No big deal.”
“I don’t think there’s any way we’re getting out of this in one piece…”
“I think I was born in the wrong era… I mean, I was meant for hunting mammoths.”
“Our course tonight includes a PB&J… because it’s all I know how to make, enjoy.”
“Are you finally ready to talk? Or are you going to keep throwing temper tantrums?”
“There was absolutely nothing I said that should’ve made you think I approved this.”
“In all seriousness, do you want to get married so we can claim more on our taxes?”
“When did I get elected Resident Mom Friend? I don’t remember putting forward my candidacy.”
“Maybe you should worry less about what others think of you… and more about what you think of yourself.”
“I didn’t think anyone could ever make me fall in love… and I was right, they still haven’t. You give yourself too much credit.”
random misc dialogue … sentence starters
tw: mentions of rejection, death
“You sound like my dad.”
“Are you hurt or are you scared?”
“He looked like a Gilligan’s Island extra.”
“You might be a doofus, but you’re my doofus.”
“I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life.”
“Are you trying to creep me out? ‘Cause its working.”
“He gave me flowers… and I panicked and ate them.”
“How many chocolate truffles does it take to kill a man?”
“Don’t talk to me like that. Don’t ever talk to me like that.”
“You’ve given me too much power and I am already corrupted.”
“I just want to be every animal’s friend, is that too much to ask?”
“There’s a lot going on here. More than I can deal with. I’m sorry.”
“I mean, I was only legally dead for a couple minutes. No big deal.”
“I don’t think there’s any way we’re getting out of this in one piece…”
“I think I was born in the wrong era… I mean, I was meant for hunting mammoths.”
“Our course tonight includes a PB&J… because it’s all I know how to make, enjoy.”
“Are you finally ready to talk? Or are you going to keep throwing temper tantrums?”
“There was absolutely nothing I said that should’ve made you think I approved this.”
“In all seriousness, do you want to get married so we can claim more on our taxes?”
“When did I get elected Resident Mom Friend? I don’t remember putting forward my candidacy.”
“Maybe you should worry less about what others think of you… and more about what you think of yourself.”
“I didn’t think anyone could ever make me fall in love… and I was right, they still haven’t. You give yourself too much credit.”

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
oh my god
Ugh one more day of work but then.. VACATION. Heads up that I likely won't have much internet for the next week and a half, so I will be very sparse. Going on an Alaska cruise! Feel free to still respond to things/submit asks etc, I will definitely check in when I can!
random misc dialogue … sentence starters
tw: mentions of rejection, death
“You sound like my dad.”
“Are you hurt or are you scared?”
“He looked like a Gilligan’s Island extra.”
“You might be a doofus, but you’re my doofus.”
“I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life.”
“Are you trying to creep me out? ‘Cause its working.”
“He gave me flowers… and I panicked and ate them.”
“How many chocolate truffles does it take to kill a man?”
“Don’t talk to me like that. Don’t ever talk to me like that.”
“You’ve given me too much power and I am already corrupted.”
“I just want to be every animal’s friend, is that too much to ask?”
“There’s a lot going on here. More than I can deal with. I’m sorry.”
“I mean, I was only legally dead for a couple minutes. No big deal.”
“I don’t think there’s any way we’re getting out of this in one piece…”
“I think I was born in the wrong era… I mean, I was meant for hunting mammoths.”
“Our course tonight includes a PB&J… because it’s all I know how to make, enjoy.”
“Are you finally ready to talk? Or are you going to keep throwing temper tantrums?”
“There was absolutely nothing I said that should’ve made you think I approved this.”
“In all seriousness, do you want to get married so we can claim more on our taxes?”
“When did I get elected Resident Mom Friend? I don’t remember putting forward my candidacy.”
“Maybe you should worry less about what others think of you… and more about what you think of yourself.”
“I didn’t think anyone could ever make me fall in love… and I was right, they still haven’t. You give yourself too much credit.”
"I must have misunderstood your so called Alolan way then," he calls back, holding both his arms out and giving a shrug. "My apologies."
True that it was out of character for Spinel to rush right into danger. But he took a certain dislike to Guzma, and wanted to teach what he would consider a graceful lesson when it came to meddling with Exceed.
Spinel's usual method of targeting the trainer... He thinks that may be too risky here, as he lacks confidence that Guzma will not simply do the same.
A battle will still tell him much. None of this data will be missed. Beheeyem is watching.
"I do not," Spinel confirmed, placing the berry back into his pocket.
"Indeed! Let us battle without the need. Is that not what you desire? A Pokemon's Type is not everything, as I am sure you're well aware of."
As his voice trails off, Spinel makes a point to step away, granting Guzma more than enough space as he landed in front of him. A smirk was then shown, before the distance was increased further.
"It's a fascinating location. You have good taste for this, at least. When you've been defeated, I think I'll have my staff look into the beach."
Especially now one of the Tapu has been mentioned. They are a large part of why he's even here.
"Tapu Bulu... Hm. Perhaps when I crush you under my heel, you can tell me more about that Pokemon. It is a shame we have to fight, you could have been a useful underling in which I throw into danger for my own benefit. Oh well."
"You describe yourself with such elegance. I accept. Allow me. I have a Pokemon also suited for this black beach."
The one which was his first, and can be trusted to scope out Guzma's ability.
"Umbreon," he called, throwing the Pokeball, and unleashing the Moonlight Evolution of Eevee.
"Breon."
A disadvantage from the start this may be, but Spinel was fine with the risk.
"No plan on being defeated, but you can feel free to walk right into da ocean and get swept away. I no stop you." Arrogant little prick. And the way he speaks of his underlings... Sure, Guzma himself had a horde of Grunts at his "disposal"... but they would jump into battle for him because they wanted to. He'd never commanded them so much as simply allowing them to go wild when the motivation actually struck (and then he'd have to avenge their sorry asses). They were his underlings, yeah, but also his precious idiot little brothers and sisters. This Spinel... Did he think of his Pokemon the same way? Were these his partners, or simply tools? What did he truly fight for? What was Guzma fighting for?
The first opponent does little to answer the question, and Guzma arches a brow at the choice. As Spinel said, it was a fitting creature for this place, but it was odd. Umbreon evolved via a strong bond of friendship with its trainer, didn't it? Was it truly his, or had it been stolen or gifted? Well, he wasn't about to go thinking about Spinel's possible past. It was the present that mattered, and regardless of how it came to evolve, Umbreon was at a disadvantage to his team though it was known for having high defenses. So what, then? A test of his strength? Should he open with his usual, or play it safe? Whatever the outcome, Spinel wouldn't be the only one with a few tricks up his sleeve.
"Well, no can fault you for your aesthetic, at least." Guzma drops down into a squat, arms resting on his knees and a crooked smirk twisting at his lips. He holds up an Ultra Ball. "Well Duke, what you say? Let's make sure to leave this guy with a good First Impression!" Golisopods weren't known for their speed. But it would be remiss of him to not allow Spinel to experience firsthand his beloved Pokemon's special move, straight out of the Pokeball!
The sentient shadow trailed after Guzma in deep contemplation over this new information. Navigating the dense overgrowth didn't pose much of a problem, he could always turn partially into a shadow when his form brushed against leaves and hanging vines. "THEN ON GUARD WE WILL BE." He could focus on what Guzma told him about the UBs and this supposed squadron who made it their job to combat them whenever they appeared. Few human organizations he knew of were capable of responding to disasters and sudden appearances of beings from the beyond. The mention of 'those who encountered them' and confirmation after stuck. Figured who his guide was talking about and that there was a lot more going on than the surface talk of this whole issue...
He choose not to say anything for the rest of their walk until the clearing came into the view of his cyclopean gaze. He levitated over to the edge of the lake, stunned at the view that the Alolan man took seemingly for granted. The circular structure at the lake's center was suspended over... "NOTHING...?" The waters formed a whirlpool around a gaping hole. It was anything but natural... though it didn't have the atmosphere of his own void. Presumably, there was still a bottom to it that was just to deep to peer into. It was however, strangely dream-like to behold. Briefly, he glanced back to Guzma, then after a nod headed towards one of the entrance arcs that extended a bridge-corridor to the center altar. The weathered cobblestone appeared well-maintained despite showing its age, with little influence on it that seemed to be of battle and wars. Most of it was just natural decay with the tide of times.
Alhazred flew to the center of the altar, quick to investigate it for peculirities or runes he could read. Even if humans had combed it all over, they didn't always have the means to unlock the secrets hidden before them. The symbol beneath was a hieroglyph of sorts depicting the beast that called the moon.
The solution came by instinct after witnessing the void this structure was built on top of.
A claw touched the symbol when he hovered low enough to reach it. Then he simply used his signature move on the symbol. The beast that calls the moon... was swallowed by the moonless dark.
There is a rumble and a look back to the stair-cases he had skipped past. Where they before helped reach the heights of the altar grounds, the earth shifted and swallowed them to have them invert their purpose and lead somewhere beneath, into depths unexplored for thousands of years. "SO THERE TRULY IS A HIDDEN CHAMBER BENEATH. THIS PLACE WAS CALLING OUT TO ME AFTER ALL..."
Admittedly, the Lake is impressive. While it's not a place he's been to often, he still knows his way around the fringes. There's only so many places one can go on an island after all, even if Ula'Ula is much larger than the others in the Alolan chain. Given there were very few Pokemon around the ruins themselves, he'd never been terribly interested in them, but the actions of his odd companion have managed to pique his curiosity. He clambers up one of the crumbling structures to find a comfortable perch for observing Darkrai.
The legendary Pokemon of the Sun and Moon, and the Guardians. Strange to think he'd encountered them, and even journeyed to a world beyond this one. He rubs at the back of his neck, where faint markings snake over his skin. Who would have thought Pokemon could be that powerful, or frightening. Some things really were beyond even his level. And now he's gone and gotten involved with another legendary creature. The sudden rumble causes him to start, but he regains his posture quickly before hopping down to join the other.
"Cheee, look at dat. You really find something all da archeology and scientist guys miss? What you think stay down there?" He peers into the darkness, unease mingled with genuine curiosity. "No matter. Between you and my team, there's no more nothing we no can handle." Probably. Hopefully. He's certainly not about to back out now. If some random kid from who knows where can show up and conquer whatever challenge is thrown at them, then big bad Guzma can too.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I only drink loud water, which is when you pour normal water into a cup from a decent height, thus making a mess and also making it loud.