✠ ; sweat for blood [EXAM HIATUS]

While the soldier searched her, Mairead’s body quivered with fear, even though she knew she had nothing to hide from this man.

“I told you, I’m not armed,” she said once he had finished, irritation replacing the fear that might have been in her voice earlier. “And the British were trying to establish a network of sorts, here in France.”

She stopped talking there. Anymore, and she might end up in a worse position than she was now.

         ❝ Somewhere – the way you all talk about the war is strange, indeed. ❞

               Sebastià’s brow furrowed in confusion, and she pressed her lips together in a line. Her expression molded into one of suspicion as she eyed him up and down, trying to figure out why someone in his position wouldn’t take a vacation if they were so exhausted as he claimed to be.                “ Are you one of those men who are married to their work? ” He did seem like that type. Someone who constantly distracted themselves with what needed to be done. If so, what was he distracting himself from?

    A rare chuckle passed his lips but it was a nervous, uncomfortable sort of sound. The only other person who ever asked him such questions was his mother, who regularly pestered him about never coming home to see her. 

         ❝ I suppose I am, yes. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there ? ❞

   ❝ i know plenty ‘bout wha’ folks ’er doin’, ❞ he had worked with     various resistance parties, smuggling information, spying – after     all, who would ever suspect a disheveled little boy to do damage?     the stern look didn’t cause him to flinch, to bend and agree with the     elder. he was not one for bowing to people. ❝ ‘itler ‘s a coward. an’     ‘s are ya’. ❞ he gets ready to run. after all, mutt had no death wish.

    Mention of the word coward effected him more than it should have. He can’t help but become suddenly twice as defensive. 

         ❝ Coward ? Hitler is doing what is best for us and so are we -- so am I. ❞

    ❝ i know. people ‘ave been killed ‘f simply bein’ jewish, ❞ oh, mutt     has come to know that if you mention the word jew around a german,     it’s a sure fire way to get some sort of reaction. mutt had never known     how to hold his tongue, it’s as impulsive as the boy is himself. looking     up, neck craned, mutt’s too-old face ( eyes holding wisdom, the lines     of his face hardened from experience and toil ) meets wilhelm’s. it was     the rat facing the terrier, but mutt was sure this one’s bite woundn’t     wound too terribly. 

    He scowled at the boy -- his remark stirred something within Wilhelm, an emotion caught halfway between shame and disgust. But who was he to question his Fatherland ? All would turn out for the best in the end. 

         ❝ You shouldn’t talk about things you don’t understand. ❞

    Frieda turns on her heel suddenly, stopping right in front of him. Had she stopped any sooner their chests would have touched. She’s too disgusted to be touched by him or to touch him. She swallows, and her face shows no emotion other than anger.

               “And bless those brave young men for being under your command, knowing FULL WELL they’ll die out there, and I hope their mothers found some peace of mind but this isn’t about them right now, it’s about YOU cheating on ME. I get it, it was hard, but that doesn’t mean that you had to go and stick your dick in anything that walks… cheat on the woman that gave birth to your children.”

                “Do you even LOVE me anymore, Wilhelm ??”

    She knew he didn’t… knew he didn’t from the start.

         ❝ How could you even ask me something like that ? ❞

    He hardly has to energy to be angry, though he knows the only person he can truly be angry at is himself. He can blame the war all he wants but in the end he is alone in his responsibility. 

         ❝ Of course I love you, I could never not love you ! ❞

               Sebastià reeled back as a sort of knee-jerk reaction. Regardless if he meant to snap or not, the Barcelona native put out her cigarette and had the decency to look somewhat concerned.                “ Do officers in your country not get breaks? That hardly seems fair, ” she said. There always the absurd rumor running about concerning the Wehrmacht, and while Sebastià hardly cared for such idle gossip, some things were just too interesting to let go. 

    He shrugged, his lips tightening into a grimace as he realised that he would now have to admit that his exhaustion was nobody’s fault but his own. He could take plenty of leave, had he wanted to. He was on good enough terms with Hauptmann Feigl that he could most likely take a great deal more than he was entitled to, but he just couldn’t find a way to tear himself away from his work. 

    Her voice raises and she lifts her face from her hands, tears streaming down her face in black, her makeup completely ruined but right now she doesn’t care. Her heart hurts more. She does, however, move her arm to wipe her face with a sleeve. Probably something Wilhelm bought her a while ago.

                “You have CHILDREN, Wilhelm !! I’m here taking care of them, cooking, cleaning, doing your laundry, I have absolutely no time for myself while you just sleep with other women !! I gave myself to you, you’re the only man I’ve ever slept with and apparently that doesn’t seem to matter much at all. What, am I too skinny ?? Am I too fat ?? Am I not ‘Aryan’ enough for you ?? Is THAT what it FUCKING is ??”

                “I had to go through some shit too during that war… I watched people die too, and whatever it is that it did to you I don’t like it. You are not the man I married.”

    Even if it isn’t an aggressive act his hand is being shoved away with her arm, moving into the other room.

    At first he had been scared, now he is angry, his lips upturned into a furious snarl–

         ❝ Don’t even assume to know what I’ve been through ! You have no IDEA ! ❞

    He follows her into the next room, calling after her as he does so,