Life: The Unedited Edition

Dont’ Like, Don’t Read

or DL; DR

You are responsible for curating your own online experience.

If something upsets you, makes you angry or queasy or triggers you, stop reading/looking at it. Avoid things that might make you feel that way.

Learn to use the Sort and Filter function on AO3, especially the Exclude tools.

On social media, block and mute accounts / tags / words when necessary.

If you hated something, you don’t need to tell that to the creator or start pointing fingers at them publicly.

The Back button is free. Use it.

Addendum:

Yes, for this to work, creators need to tag their works accordingly, so that people know what sort of content they are about to engage with and can nope out if necessary.

I will probably make another PSA about the importance of proper tagging later.

Ship And Let Ship

or SALS

You are allowed to ship whatever you want.

Everyone else is also allowed to ship whatever they want.

You are entitled to dislike or even hate a ship. If you want to do this online, in public, don’t use the ship tags for hate posts.

If you see someone posting about a ship they like and you don’t, there is no need for you to start arguing with them in their replies / comments / QRTs / reblogs. Don’t throw your hate in their face.

Do not harass fan creators or fans for shipping something you disapprove.

All of this also applies to liking / disliking an individual character.

Addendum:

”I agree with this, except when…”

No, then you are NOT agreeing with this.

Let me make this VERY clear. There are NO exceptions. None.

You don’t EVER harass real people over pixels.

If you disagree with this, kindly block and move on.

Your Kink Is Not My Kink

or YKINMK / YKINMKATO

The longer version is ”Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s Okay”.

People have different tastes. Not everything is for everybody.

Even if you don’t like a specific kink, other people are still allowed to use it in their creations.

You are entitled to dislike kinky content and think that it’s ”weird”.

Don’t kink shame or judge people based on their kinks.

This goes both ways: your kink is not someone else’s kink, so don’t push it onto those who are not into it.

Be Kind

or Don’t Be An Asshole

Focus on the things you like instead of the things you hate.

Create and unite instead of destroying and dividing.

Don’t harass real people over fictional things.

Stop stirring up petty drama just to get some attention on social media.

Stop trying to ”win”. Fandom is not a competition.

these fics are all related to the shooting arc in season 4 as per a request! this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

And then 7x04 happens, and the whole episode is obviously through Buck's eyes, but like, it's straight up ABOUT Tommy. Evan calls, says he got your number from Chimney, and is it okay if he comes by sometime for a tour of Harbor? And you think okay, he did seem to have fun in the chopper once there wasn't as significant a threat of death, so you agree. Professional curiosity, right? But then he's there, grinning and listening so intently and having his undivided attention feels warm and golden like a sunbeam, but he's not asking about openings or how to become a pilot or anything like that. Why is he here? You ask, and he doesn't seem to know, either, except he offers to take you out for drinks. The disappointment is immediate, because you'd say yes in a heartbeat if you didn't already have plans with Eddie. Speak of the devil - and Evan gets weird. Noticably weird. But maybe it's just because he's being left behind on what's going to be a fun night out, but you really have to go, so you say goodbye and get in the chopper.

You can't stop thinking about him, though. It doesn't help that Eddie and his son talk about him, like, all the time as you're tinkering with Eddie's Chevelle. Buck this, Buck that, did you know Buck is so smart? He's so strong, too, and he saved me from the tsunami that happened, and he's a pretty good cook, or better than Dad anyway (hey!) and he's really good at video games. And you can't help but smile through it and soak up these little tidbits with the tiny thrill of infatuation. It's alright, you probably won't see him for a long time, you'll get over it.

Only on Thursday, he's right there even though Eddie was emphatic about him hating basketball. He's there, and his muscular arms are there, and he keeps looking at you and looking at you and looking at you, until he knocks Eddie down and it's like whatever tension has been strung between the three of you finally snaps. But Eddie looks more understanding than upset while Evan looks distraught, and you remind yourself that they're - as Chimney had put it when you asked what their deal was - distressingly codependent and you have been spending most of your free time hanging out with Eddie and Christopher lately, so obviously Evan hasn't.

And you never had a connection like that with someone at the 118, and you still don't have it at Harbor even though part of you yearns for it, so the thought that you've disturbed theirs sits inside you and rots until you can't take it. You get Evan's address from Eddie. You go to his big, swanky apartment and try to clear the air. You keep your distance because you don't want to impose more than you have. But - but. He keeps moving closer. He keeps looking at you from under his lashes. He's listening to you so intently, he's moving closer, he's tilting his head, he's moving closer, he's telling you he was jealous, he's even closer now and chasing your gaze, he's less than a foot away and he admits it's you, it's you he's been trying to steal time with, it's you lost his cool over, it's you he talks about to his sister -

Eddie wants to get the hell out of here.

He feels kind of bad about it, because Bobby and Athena throw a great barbecue, and any other day of the week he’d love to grab a beer and settle in for as long as they’ll have him. Any other day of the year, really—

Just not the same day Buck kissed him.

He’d always imagined that if he ever scraped enough resolve together to try something with Buck, it would happen in the heat of the moment. After a close call on a rescue, maybe, or at a bar after a shift sometime, when he has just enough alcohol in him to push past the nagging doubts in his mind.

He’d always imagined that if anything ever happened, it would be because he took that first step. He could, when he was feeling hopeful, imagine Buck would be into it, but it had never even crossed his mind that Buck might want him enough to be the one to cross the invisible line between friends and something more. 

Only—

Two hours ago, he stood in the firehouse parking lot and watched Buck pace and forth in the artificially bright glow of a streetlamp for all of thirty seconds before drawing to a stop right in front of him, toe to toe across the faded outline of a parking space. 

“I’m going to do something,” Buck said, the warmth of his exhale ghosting across Eddie’s skin. “And you can tell me if I’m wrong. But—” he hooked one finger in the belt loop of Eddie’s jeans, tugging slightly, and the movement danced like lightning down Eddie’s spine. 

“—I don’t think I’m wrong.” 

And he tugged on the belt loop again, pulling Eddie closer into his space, and pressed his mouth to Eddie’s.

It seemed to last a lifetime, and it was over far too soon. Buck pulled back, careful, drawing a ragged breath, and Eddie leaned into chase him and found Buck grinning against his lips.

“Not wrong, then?” Buck murmured, and it took Eddie a moment to remember what Buck had said just before.

“Definitely not wrong,” he breathed. The words were half-lost in Buck’s mouth but he must have understood them anyway, because he laughed, bright and clear, before pushing Eddie up against the car behind him to kiss him again.

It was only when Buck’s phone rang, vibrating in his pocket so that Eddie felt it against his own thigh, that they remembered the barbecue. And that they’d promised to bring ice.

So now Eddie’s here, and for the first time he can remember he desperately wants to leave. 

He and Buck hadn’t really talked about it, so he’s trying to act normal. Which is to say he’s trying to act like he doesn’t want to walk across Bobby and Athena’s backyard and grab Buck by the collar to drag him in for another kiss. Or to demand what the fuck it means. 

He would describe himself as moderately successful. 

But in Eddie’s defence, if the rest of them knew the situation he doesn’t think they could blame him for the way his eyes keep getting drawn to Buck no matter where he is, like the universe is shining a spotlight on him. It’s not his fault Buck’s laugh lights up the room and he can’t help but look.

It’s not his fault that Buck catches him looking, sometimes, and smiles a smile that says he’s thinking about what happened in the parking lot. 

A smile that says he’s thinking about doing it again.

And it—well, maybe it is his fault when he grins back, his face trying to settle on something somewhere between wanting and bashful, but there are extenuating circumstances. He is, after all, only one man. 

Overall, Eddie’s pretty sure nobody could blame him for the fact that he wants to get the hell out of here.

Just then, Hen sidles up to where he’s leaning against the kitchen island and settles in next to him, mirroring his position and crossing her arms. 

“You should take your man home,” she says. 

Eddie flushes, and she laughs.

“You’re not being particularly subtle,” she says. “Either of you. I don’t know what happened exactly—” she raises a hand when Eddie tries to open his mouth “—and I don’t need to know. But you should take him home before it happens again on Bobby and Athena’s patio.” 

Eddie’s face feels so warm he’s surprised he can’t see cartoon heat lines wafting off his cheeks. 

Hen laughs again, gentler this time. “No one’s judging you, Eddie,” she says, and nudges him with her elbow. “I remember what it was like in the beginning. So go, take him home. I know you want to.” 

“I—yeah,” Eddie says, and lets himself grin. “I really do.” 

He doesn’t need to look for Buck, because he already knows where he is. He makes his way across the room, through their gathered friends and family, and over to where Buck is talking to Chimney. His heartbeat hammers in his ears as he does it, but Hen said it was obvious anyway, so he takes a deep breath and stands behind Buck, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Buck’s shoulder. 

“Hi,” Buck says, breathy with surprise but his cheeks pink with pleasure.

“Hen said I should take my man home,” Eddie says, and makes a concerted effort not to look at Chimney. He focuses instead on Buck’s cheek against his, and the way it crinkles when he smiles.

“Did she?” Buck says. “I guess we should listen to the captain, then.” 

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Eddie murmurs. They slip through the room, and Eddie tries to avoid Hen’s knowing look as they duck out of the front door without bothering with goodbyes.

As soon as the door closes, Eddie grabs Buck by the hips and pushes him against it, crowding into his space. “This is all I’ve been thinking about all night.”

“It’s only been two hours,” Buck says.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot longer than two hours,” Eddie says, and watches Buck’s eyes go dark. Then he grins. “Besides, do you want to nitpick, or do you want to kiss me?” 

“I can multitask,” Buck says, and Eddie laughs and kisses him for it, and for a moment the world narrows to just the two of them, wrapped up in each other against Bobby’s front door.

“Actually,” Buck murmurs, a moment or three later, when Eddie’s forehead rests against Buck’s and both their breaths come a little heavy. “I wanna change my answer.” 

“Yeah?” Eddie asks. “To what?” 

“I want you to take me home.”

(There’s also PreP - Pre Exposure Prophylaxis, which is taking medication if you feel you are at risk of being exposed to HIV, whether through sexual partners or sharing injection needles)

There’s been a lot of progress in this. So long as you’re taking your medications (anti-retrovirals), it’s essentially become another chronic disease like diabetes or COPD etc. HIV patients nowadays are living into their 60s and 70s and are more likely to die of cardiovascular disease rather than opportunistic infections or AIDS defining illnesses. 

If the HIV viral load is undetectable, then your CD4 counts (your white cells that are affected by the virus) should normalise. Such that you’re no different to the general population when it comes to infection risk.

Yes, we should all still be precautious, but it’s no longer a death sentence. 

There are 2 replies to that tweet, by GEM @/Rozthecreator reading “the woman is hiv positive, she takes her meds which makes her count low, she can’t pass it off to her husband which makes her still able to live her normal life and reproduce. The stigmas of hiv has to stop, and as Blacks especially we have to educate each other.”

The next reply is by t a y l o r @/G14_Classified_, reading “people on this app talk about sex 24/7 but are completely ignorant when it comes to stds and how they can/can’t be contracted. Yikes”.

They went in at 7:38 AM. Finding the couple was easy, Eddie moving to help the man stabilize his foot, while Buck spoke to the woman, calming her down with statistics about caves he’d heard in a documentary once. Once the man’s foot was stable, Eddie convinced him to walk on it long enough for them to get out of the cave. He let the man walk in front of him, staying behind him in case he tipped back on the uneven terrain.

No one expected the ground to start shaking at 7:52 AM. No one expected the ledge to break off, either.

--

Or, Eddie is missing, presumed dead after a cave collapse caused by an earthquake, and Buck has to deal with the ramifications.

“Mr. Buckley, as romantic as this is, do you think you and your boyfriend could take it out of our waiting room?”

Tommy snorts a laugh against his shoulder and Buck grins sheepishly. “Sorry, Theresa. We’re-uh-we’re going now.”

As they walk away, Tommy is still laughing as he plants his hand in the small of Buck’s back. “Evan, Evan. What am I going to do with you?”

Buck looks over his shoulder and winks. “Whatever you want.”

Tommy shoots him a heated look then his face softens into something resembling fondness. “I should warn you before we go in there that you have soot all over your face now.”

Buck shrugs, leaning forward and kissing him again. “I know.”

Tommy smiles softly as they make their way into the room.

***

They manage to get away after a couple of hours when hospital staff kick everyone out so Chimney can get some rest. By the time they make it to Buck’s loft, Tommy looks about ready to drop.

“I’m glad you agreed to come home with me,” Buck says as he gets Tommy something to sleep in.

“I didn’t want to let you go,” Tommy says. “But I’m really, really tired.”

Buck smiles and steers him to the bathroom so he can take a shower. “A sleep date. Sounds good to me.”

Tommy kisses him.

***

Buck can’t stop smiling now, staring at the ceiling of the loft, Tommy’s arm thrown over his waist as he snores gently into Buck’s shoulder.

+

hen and eddie talk about buck's coming out. also today's wordle is not lover i wouldn't spoil it and lover has already been used as a wordle. it was for the themes.

“Did you know? About Buck, I mean? Did you suspect at all?”

Hen looks up at him and puts her phone down, he gets a wordle spoiler when he looks at her screen. Lover. Got it. 

“Him being queer?”

“I think he identifies as bisexual.”

“Okay,” Hen says, and Eddie watches her face flit through a complicated series of emotions before landing on something fond and knowing that makes heat crawl up his spine. “You wanna sit down?”

BUCK & TOMMY KISS in 9-1-1 7.06 ✽ there goes the groom