She wasnât about to pretend that all of this was easy to digest. When there were more unanswered questions, and statements which went against the way she tried to move on from the loss of Dean, she wished in that moment that she could run. If he hadnât pulled away from her to pace the room, she would have physically done it for them. Dinah wanted this all to be real, but what if it was just another cruel trick? Something temporary once again. When he told her that him and Sam always found a way to bring each other back, it was enough to have her look away and stare at the floor.
The way his hands took ahold of her face, her eyes fell shut for a brief second. Was she trying to get rid of him? Hardly. Mostly, she was afraid. Afraid of letting him back into her life once again. And, this time it wasnât in fear of him getting a taste of what life would really be like with her and later realizing that it wasnât what he really wanted. No, this fear stemmed from losing what she knew for years now, was all that she ever wanted. Him. He always had a pull to bring her back to him.
âNo,â she breathed out. Eyes opened once again to take another look at the love of her life. The very person who made her believe that he was made just for her. Her soul was lost without him. She could barely steady herself, gently holding onto his arms. âIâve dreamt this so many times. You, returning to me. That night⌠it never happened. Nothing happened. You came home to me.â
She placed a hand over his heart. In all of her grand hallucinations and dreams, she was never able to feel the rhythmic beat under the palm of her hand. âWhy would you think such a thing?â she questioned, choked sob spilling out as another question followed. âI never wanted you gone!â Before he could calm her down from another bout of hysterics, her lips sought out his. The mere force of it and her body against his was enough to push him back, causing the grip on his arms to become tighter and keep him held firmly against her.
Every kiss held the depth of her love for him, she never hid the vulnerability of what the intimacy met to her. Love, longing, passion, and a fiery lust could be felt in her kisses that she never wanted to end. âIâm sorry,â she panted, kissing him between words. Arms wrapped around him in a warm embrace, keeping him close. It still hurt, even with him there, the pain of having to live day in and night out without him had taken on an exhausting toll on her.
âI wanted you back. I wanted you back every damn day, but your brother⌠well -â She smiled weakly. She hadnât spoken to Sam since that night. Then, there was Jack who made her defiance to bring Dean back seem hopeless. âThere was nothing I could do. So, you want to compare failures?â She laughed, despite of how much it never failed to break her heart. Or, what felt like her heart being painfully squeezed. âI didnât just spend my days living without you, Dean. I spent them hoping my end would come soon, so that I could be with you again.â
No matter how many times or the manner she lost him, there was no moving on without him. âLet me, um, let me clean this for you.â She was looking at the cut on his arm, still fresh with blood from earlier. It was lucky for him that her classroom was equipped with first aid kits, moving over to the small medicine cabinet behind her desk to set the things she needed out, proceeding to pull him over by the hand to hold out the arm with the cut.
âTo answer your question, I would love you if you came back looking like Freddy Kreuger.â Hardly a joking matter, because the sincerity in her eyes was a dead giveaway that she was telling the truth. âYou know what really surprises me? How you havenât made one mention on whether weâre going to discuss these matters back at your place, or mine.â There was a twinkle in her eyes, challenging and encouraging him, continuing to patch up his minor cut. Flirting with him was something she would never tire of, most especially when they had their own abilities in knowing how to rile each other up.
It would never not be hard for him to accept he had someone as wonderful as Laurel that loved him. He spent so much time pushing her away when he realized the way she thought the world of him. He hated himself, hate was even being too generous, he loathed himself in every sense of the word and the way he died did nothing but give him more of a reason to. However, she was worth it, she was always worth it and all that time he spent pushing away, he should have taken advantage of having someone willing to fight it out with him. Sheâd literally do anything for him and heâd do anything to keep her. Sam was always the one person in Deanâs life heâd fight for no matter what but now? he had two. He thought he was in love before but until her, he realized he didnât know what love fully was. Something he was reminded of when he felt her lips capture his. It felt so amazing to be able to kiss her again, unable to keep himself from letting out a soft moan under the hungry kisses. Her warm embrace so inviting, he felt safe. Lifting her up off the ground and into his arms, he never stopped the kiss. It felt different, so different because she believed him now. She was no longer trying to deny the truth that was in front of both of them.Â
âSam was finally done with me, huh?â He joked teasingly offering a simple smile through the tears he was still trying to hold back, trying to stay strong for her. He sighed again, not willing to pull away as he rested his forehead against hers, nuzzling his nose against hers, âjust know if you did, I would understand. I know I am not the easiest to deal with. You have no idea how badly I wish that night never happened. I find myself almost wishing I never went on that hunt but if I didnât and something happened to you or Sam, Iâd not forgive myself even more but vampires? Of all things, it had to be vampires? I resent that I gave them the satisfaction of taking me away from you.â He returned the kisses in between words continuing to hold her as tight as he possibly could, not willing to let her go.Â
He knew she would start to blame herself and that is the last thing he wanted to do. She didnât deserve to hold any sort of burden that involved his personal feelings towards himself. There was nothing anyone can do, except for him. He was the one responsible. He should have done better and he definitely shouldnât have let them make that stupid promise to not try to bring him back. It was his own personal guilt interfering. Feeling he didnât deserve to have another chance after losing to a damn vampire. It was a choice he made on his own but he didnât consider how guilty he felt giving up when he had people to live for. Something he wasnât used to. He had felt the shame in her eyes when he talked about the way him and Sam always brought each other back, she didnât deserve that. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her like that. âNo.â He shook his head, âI am the one that is sorry. I shouldnât have said what I did. I am just angry and embarrassed but that wasnât an excuse. I just felt if I couldnât protect you, both of you, that if I let a vampire take me out, I didnât deserve to live. All the second chances I got when. I am the last person that deserves them. â
When she started to clean the wound. It wasnât lost on him what she said about wishing she were gone so she could be with him again. He grabbed her hand that was attempting to clean the wound, âHey, I donât EVER want to hear you talk like that again.â He scolded, âthe world needs you, okay? it needs more people like you in it. Itâs like Iâve always said, youâre the one who makes this world a better place.â He smiled before kissing her again, a quick, soft peck against the side of her mouth. âYouâre my hero. I am not worth it, remember? Come here. Let me look at you.â He used the arm he had in his possession to pull her closer to him, pulling her onto his lap, slowly running his hand down her face, shaking his head. âYouâre so beautiful.â He breathed, âIâd invite you back to my place but I wouldnât want your boyfriend coming after me, despite the fact I got a shot gun in the backseat with his name on it.â He chuckled, pressing another passionate kiss against her lips, knocking the first aid kit out of her hand before throwing her onto her desk, cleaning everything off it with one solid sweep of his hand. He wasnât a person that stood on ceremony when it came to how much his girl turned him on, âbut then again Iâve never been a person that cares what anyone else thinks.â He smirked pressing another passionate kiss to her lips, pinning her underneath him and thrusting his hips against her, âFreddy Kruegerâs got nothing on me.â He whispered against her ear. âSo when are you going to ditch that good for nothing loser and run away with me?âÂ