Wil's Funny Dirty Books

THE MOVIE POSTER

LENA’S A COMIC!

ANOTHER ANTIQUE CAR

I like working with cars. This beauty is a 1937 Cord 812. It’s from my latest book, Lena the Lovegoddess vs. The Vampire. It’s the picture book version of the only one of Lena’s films to survive, and even then it’s a bit choppy. I was hoping to get it done by Halloween, but it was far too complicated. I’ve added mechanical parts, sliding picture changers, electronic sounds and trick devices. That takes longer than I thought, about 3 hours to prototype each page. Then the assembly of some pages took about that as well. It’s almost done.

 SPOOK A FONE GAL WONCHA COME OUT TONIGHT

THE LAUGHING VAMPIRE

Not under enough pressure for the four main books, I decided to add another. “Lena the Lovegoddess vs. The Vampire.” It’s based on the back cover of the first of the “Gulag Calling” books. My goal is to have it done by Halloween. So, of course I decided to make a pop-up book! I really must not have much of a life.

Here’s the vampire, after Lena has tried to end him with a pair of cooking chopsticks and a meat tenderizer. All she could find. The pair of shabbat candles and the shamosh she found give a nice glow, don’t you think?

NAZI DAD BOD

Turns out The Dirty Nazi from Lena the Lovegoddess and The Dirty Nazi is making a return for Book 2 of the series Gulag Calling. Yes, I’ve come up with a title for the series. Originally, the series was to be called The Gulag, but that name’s been taken, and then Goolag Shmoolag, but that didn’t seem to work either. Lena never really gets to the Gulag, so I figured I’d just touch on the name. She does get threatened with it, though.

It’s funny, no one has ever left a note about my postings. However, a stolen nude of me showed up a few years ago and it got hundreds of comments and reblogs. Yes, they were all positive comments. I couldn’t ask for it to be taken down, I was so flattered. I’m a vain idiot.

Faking LSD

SOMETIMES, IT JUST DON’T WORK

Here’s a scene from one of Lena’s films. Hammer Studios type. I just don’t think it came together right the first time. So I’m showing the flop as well as the image that will be on the back cover of “Lena The Love Goddess - War and Piece”. 

There’s a lot I like about the first pic. But I couldn’t get Lena to look good more than once. I don’t like doing spooky stuff in my apartment because, well, it’s already spooky enough. I live off an alley. Just tonight, for some reason a really nice measuring tape appeared, hanging off my doorknob. And the door was unlocked. I don’t leave doors unlocked. That’s just not right.

Lena’s chair is new, to me. I was riding the motorcycle home Friday night, thinking about how I wanted to have a vampire-movie theme for the back cover (one of Lena’s films showing at a Drive-In) and I saw a high-quality wing back chair just sitting by the side of the road. Abandoned. I went home, cogitated a bit more on how to do a vampire image, and it became clear: I needed the chair.

So, I had a cocktail (fuel), and set off with my trusty red dolly to get the chair. Unbeknownst to me, it was a recliner. Which made transport even more difficult. But I got it home and stashed it in the back garden for the night, with a note. I did some perfunctory scrubbing to make sure it could be cleaned.

Next day, I cleaned, vacuumed and basically sterilized said chair. After the first round of bacterial murder, I tried the chair out. Oooooh, nice. It turns out that it’s a Lane Savannah high-leg recliner. Replacement value $600. Well worth it. Soft. Oh, so soft. American made, sturdy, soft. Oh, so soft. It likes me, I can tell.

Original plan was to clean the thing up a bit, photograph it for the vampire shot, then give it to Goodwill or dump it back into the alley. “Belay that order, Captain.” :)

So, for the scene, Lena is defending herself with a pair of cooking chopsticks and a meat tenderizer. Vampires could give a damn about BJ’s, so in this case, Lena may be sunk.

SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT

Asian Again

I’ve always loved  Asian cultures. I even learned a bit of Japanese because my favorite Erotic Illustrator, Gengoroh Tagame, originally wrote only in Japanese. Let me tell you something, his Japanese stories are better than the translations. 

Lena has a thing for Chinese busboys. I don’t know why, that just happened years ago during the development of her character. It’s kind of a hunger for her. Chacun à son goût, as they say.

AM I BLUE?

You’d be too, if each plan with your man done fell through. Ha-ha. Mr. Kent is done, done, done. Here’s a tribute photo I did of him, doing what I always hoped he did best--hanging out with randy sailors. Original vintage background, me as Kent in the foreground.

The reaction to Mr. Kent’s swan song has been terrific. One person even wrote a mock Amazon review. I’ve really got to figure out how to make my books available to the public. When I tried before, no one would touch a transgendered heroine with a ten-foot-pole. Now the climate is different. Lena, however, is the same old self-centered tramp. Bless her!

BENNY’S ROAMIN’ ROMAN KLEZMER BAND

Book 4, Scene 7 takes place in Rome, 1992. At The Spanish Steps. It’s a bittersweet scene in which the punchline of the book series is delivered. Or the dead donkey is dropped, whichever meme you prefer. I thought a raucous Klezmer Band would set the tone nicely. I’ve been through a few sad, horrible times where the background action has been beautiful, lively, happy even. Irony can be a great plot device. Too much and you’re a hipster. (Small “h”.)

And that shirt! I had totally forgotten how ugly it is! The sun design is actually nice, but awful combined with a cheap striped shirt, and the damn thing is embroidered with plastic pearls! I bought the shirt for the stripes in 1996 or so, for “The Day the Earth Slowed Down a Whole Lot and Nearly Came to a Halt but Didn’t,” an obvious play on a famous film. Needed a stereotypical French shirt for a scene in a Parisian toilet. I wore it backwards, for the stripes.

I had a shitty week. I need a vacation, a real one. So I did a Klezmer Band photoshoot. And you know what? I feel a bit better.

THIS CAN’T BE GOOD.

KENT’S FINAL PICTURE AND GLORIA SWANSON SHOWS UP

This is it, the last picture for Kent’s book. Or so I’ve planned. Bought a photo of a barber shop from a private individual, so essentially I now own the rights to the picture since it wasn’t copyrighted and the original photographer is long gone. Chopped the image up, put it back together with some stuff I had, colorized it, and voila! a 1930s barbershop for the book. All three people are me, I’ve got a full beard right now and am just not ready to shave. The barber was easy enough to clone out, the little lady was much more difficult. Until Gloria Swanson’s ghost showed up, apparently! She actually looked too much like Miss Swanson so I retouched some more to tone it down. I didn’t use a photo of the late actress to get this face, it just happened. She was an Aries, I’ve got Aries rising, maybe that’s the connection. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUDY WILLIAMS AKA RUDOLPH VALENTINO

Guglielmi means Williams, doesn’t it? That’s this guy’s original last name. Turns out this blog shares a birthday with the Silent Era megastar. The blog is 2, Monsieur Valentino would be 121. I’m a big fan of the actor’s work, and it looks like he’s a bit of a fan of mine!