hii!! sorry for the gap, I’ve recently been dealing with personal issues but I’m back, so please enjoy part 2 !!
warnings :: blood, slight body dysmorphia, judgy dazai, ooc dazai, uses y/n, port mafia things…
the entrance exam was nothing pleasant.
it had blood, specifically y/n’s more than anything, the stuff as she hit the paved, smooth concrete floor was enough to make her ribs hurt.
I’m the end, she passed. not easily, she had many flaws about her technique and had no idea how to control her newfound ability.
she found herself laying on the cheap mattress of her small apartment, the sheet soft as she begrudgingly stood up, her feet sore as she walked to the bathroom, still wearing the blood stained button up and vest. it hurt to breathe.
She unbuttoned the vest and button up, her eyes squeezing shut as she hissed, feeling the bruised rib as she peeled off the fabric, the ragged bandages being help by a safety pin now dirty as she stared in the mirror, seeing her choppy layers of hair, the bandages, and most importantly, her pathetic excuse to try to look like a boy. with a swallowed gulp, she slowly under the safety pin, the metal sharp as she pulled it out, a piece of the bandages dropping.
she slowly unwrapped it, swallowing down any winces as she felt the injuries from her exam under the bandages. each piece felt lighter, like she was able to breathe, and as the last bandage fell to the linoleum, she sighed in relief, finally feeling like she was able to breathe again. like she no longer had to prove herself to someone, or something. she put on a shirt and pajama pants and went to bed.
her 4:30 alarm went off with a blaring noise, the alarm painfully waking her up with a groan. mori said to be there 5:30 am. sharp.
the bright light of the bathroom blurred her vision, causing her to squint as she got ready. fixed her choppy layers of short hair, found a semi good outfit, one that looked androgynous and not totally feminine. the sound of fresh bandages opening echoed through the bathroom, wrapping them tightly around her chest, she let out a choked, breathless sigh as she finished bandaging, buttoning her shirt with precision.
the train ride to the not so well-hidden port mafia building felt like every stop took an hour. she was sure her nerves were visible, she felt out of place in the crowded train full of middle aged men and women trying to get to work.
as her stop came and she stepped off the train, she swore every step felt like she was doing something wrong. like this wasn’t her. she ignored the feeling though as she entered the building, asking the way too happy lady at the main desk where Mori was.
now, she was standing infront of a boy, who looked her age but so..dark. his eyes were full of any life as Mori smiled. “this is osamu dazai, he’s one of our youngest members to reach executive status, I think he is the perfect match for you, y/n.”
dazai just stared at this boyish body infront of him, with a bad haircut and a feminine build, surely not blending in. this was going to be hell. for both of them.
