the jackass

After going home the night after everything, after finding out she was pregnant, she lied and said she was still sick and stayed home for the next couple days and hoped he didn’t come around. Franny needed to think of how she was going to tell him. He already had a kid and had another on the way. Was she really about to add to that? But she knew she wasn’t going to get rid of it. If he didn’t want to do this, she’d figure it out. God, it’d be so hard to. They were supposed to be working through this. And then be best friends too. Was this how their friendship was permanently ruined? Because she was having his kid?

She had got up that day deciding she’d head over and talk to him. Though, she kept delaying that as she found random chores to do around the house. The few dishes she had, a small load of laundry, anything to keep her busy and stopping herself from actually going to Atlas’s. Though, it seemed fate was against her, though, as she heard a knock on her door and as she opened it, there he stood. She didn’t even get a greeting out when he pulled out the bag and her heart dropped. “N-No… I just…” She started nervously and stopped as he threw out how the baby growing inside her was actually the guy she had barely anything with in New York. Anger started rising and she shook her head. “What if it was his? What would you do?” She rolled her eyes before she snatched the bag out of his hand. 

“The baby is yours.” She said. “Ours. How dare you think otherwise. What was I supposed to say? Come out of the bathroom and just tell you I’m pregnant? I needed to think. It’s not like this is your first kid. Who knows if you’ll even stay with me. Want me. We were trying to fix us, but now look. I’m pregnant and you’re so ready to call me a whore and blame someone else.” She looked down. “I’m going to keep it. There’s no decision there. But you have an out. Seems like you want it.”

***

Atlas had never really thought about raising a kid, let alone raising a kid that didn’t belong to him at all. At least with his daughter, he knew he played some part in making her. He chewed at his bottom lip for a moment while he considered her question. Part of him wanted to think he could step up, but the jealous and selfish part of him thought otherwise. Could he really sit by and raise another man’s kid? “I don’t know,” he admitted, voice a little panicked. He was better than what he was showing, but he’d been caught off guard and instead of showing confusion, it was translated into frustration. After all, it was his fault for ever letting her go off to New York anyway. If only he’d asked her to stay, but then again, that would have required her even giving him a heads up that she was leaving.

Her next works once again caught him off guard. The baby was his and she was certain. “I wasn’t trying to call you a whore,” he countered weakly, knowing that if anyone was a whore, it was the man with two babies now. “I’ve never raise a kid. By the time Alex got here, the hard work was done. I have no fuckin’ clue where to even start.” There were things that they needed to work out together, but he wasn’t going to walk away from a kid. Especially when the woman carrying said kid was Fran. “What do you want me to do? If you want me to stick around, then I’m here. If you want me to fuck off, then I get it.”

Knuckles fell against the front door frame and when she pulled it open, he wasted no time to pull the baggie from his pocket and hold it up. “Think you might’ve left something at my place. C’mon Fran, were you really not going to tell me?” From what he could assume, maybe it was with the guy she’d met in New York. It was just like their luck to hook up with someone a few times, only for it to end in a pregnancy. “It’s that New York guy, isn’t it? Is that why you didn’t wanna tell me?” He’d barely stopped talking since she’d opened the door, but he was stuck in a panic and didn’t know how to pull himself out of it. “What are you gonna do?”

She felt horrible already for not just telling him what was going on, but she wanted to think this through more. She wanted to plan what she was going to say to him. She took a sip of her water before shaking her head at his offer to make her some food. “No. I’m okay. I think just water for now is good.” Until her stomach… no, until the baby decided she could hold things now. Baby. The thought made her heart race and she got pale in the face again. “Um, yeah. Maybe laying down could be good.” It couldn’t be worse, could it? And at least laying down maybe things would settle. Maybe her brain could settle. 

“Um, yeah. I took some Pepto once everything stopped.” She lied. The bottle of the pink liquid was up on the sink sitting unopened. If he went to the bathroom, he would see that. Maybe she could pretend to get sick after a few moments and take some. She’d have to plan it right. At his words, she thought about it. Did she want to go home? Not really. She had waited for days to be with him. And she couldn’t leave with the bag in her hands. It’d be suspicious, wouldn’t it? Not just taking the bottle with her? This was already way too complicated for her liking. But what did she need? Him. His arms around her. The feeling that he wasn’t upset with her and they wouldn’t fight over the news. She felt the tears again and she swallowed. “Just…. you.” She wiped her cheeks as a tear ran down them. “Um, can we go lay down? Maybe watch something?” Get her mind off all this. “You can pick.”

***

“Do you think you ate something bad? One of those fuckers at the station probably gave you something.” It was more so a joke than actual guessing, but he wouldn’t have put it past them to spread a stomach bug around like a wildfire. “We can go upstairs. It’s cooler up there anyway with that new fan I bought. Didn’t expect it to get this fuckin’ hot here.” He was used to hot summers in Colorado, but it seemed this was a new level of heat. As he stared back at her, Atlas felt guilty and for reasons he didn’t even understand. Clearly she wasn’t feeling well and all he wanted to do was help. “I’m right here,” he assured, wondering if that was all she needed or if it was all she wanted to ask for. “And I’m not going anywhere. If you want, I can take the day off and we can just hangout around here. If you’re sick, I mean, pretty sure I’ll end up getting sick too.” It was a good excuse to stay home with her and if she didn’t mind, neither did he.

Nodding at the suggestion, Atlas stood up and held out his hand for her to take. “I won’t make you watch Back to the Future, I swear. We can watch something funny. I heard there’s a new Melissa McCarthy movie on Netflix. She usually does the job.” He was an easy to please man when it came to comedy. He could watch just about anything and get a laugh out of it, but this wasn’t about making him feel better. “Don’t be surprised if I end up falling asleep though. I’ve been sleeping like shit lately.” When he wasn’t smoking a little something to help him pass out, he was laying around staring at the ceiling. “Need anything before we go up?”

Her heart gave a tug as he said and and she reached over to touch his arm. “Of course. I’m sorry I ruined it.” She said and was really still feeling awful that they weren’t still out there watching the movie. She knew he would figure out some way for them to do this again, she just wished he didn’t have to do it. That mixed with the uncertainty of why she was sick was making her nervous and quiet the whole ride back to Atlas’s place. She could sense he was feeling it too. She hated that they were getting into a good place and once again, something swooped in to make them have this awkward silence between them.

After he parked, she hopped out of the Jeep and nodded. “Okay.” She said and paused for a moment. “Atlas, I’m really sorry this happened. I know it is beyond my control, but still. I was looking forward to tonight.” She wanted to be honest with him. She walked back over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before heading inside his place like she had done millions of times before. She looked down at the bag in her hand and knew she had to do this now or she’d lose the will to do it. She walked upstairs to his bathroom and closed the door. She sat the bag down and took out the box before reading it carefully. Then, hesitantly, she took both tests and waited impatiently for the results. Before long, both came back with the positive signs very clearly on them. She stared down at the tests before her stomach churned and she got sick again. Once she stopped, she stood and looked at herself in the mirror. 

She was pregnant. Here she was trying to fix her relationship with the man she loved more than anything in this world and she was pregnant. To some, that would be happy news, but with everything going on between them and him already having kids, what was he going to say? Was he going to be mad? She felt tears line up and she quickly pushed them away. No. She couldn’t do this right now. She threw the tests back into the bag, put them behind a row of towels to try to hide them, washed her hands, and went back downstairs where she found him on the couch. She gave him a small smile as she went into the kitchen and got a glass of water. “Sorry. I… got sick again.” She half explained before walking back in. She couldn’t tell him the news just yet. She had to relax a little bit before she did. “You sure it’s okay I’m here?”

***

He wasn’t at all upset about what had happened. If anything, he was worried about whatever stomach bug had grabbed hold of her and wondered if it’d get him too. Truth was, he didn’t really care. He’d wanted her to come home with him and sick or not, it didn’t matter. He carried the food inside and after two trips, he’d put everything away and grabbed a beer from the fridge and settled on the couch. Fingers drummed at the side of the glass bottle as he waited for her to come back downstairs. He’d been half tempted to go upstairs and check on her, but odds were, she could handle herself and if she needed him, she’d let him know. He sat up a little straighter when he heard her padding down the steps, a soft smile on his lips as he came into sight, but it faded as she spoke.

“It’s all good,” he assured, brows furrowed as she returned with a glass of water. “Can I make you something? I’ve got some soup. That might be a little easier to keep down.” He’d made her soup in the past when she’d been sick and all he wanted was to make shit better for her. “Yeah, I want you here. We can go upstairs if you want? I can turn the air down a little and put the fan on you?” He was willing to do whatever he needed to do and all she had to do was ask or point him in the right direction. “Have you taken anything yet?” He wasn’t sure what was wrong with her, but odds were, if it was stomach bug, he was going to get it too. “You can stay here tonight if you want. If not, I can give you a ride back to your place.” He wasn’t sure which of the two she’d want, but he hoped she stayed. “Just tell me what you need, Fran.”

She knew they would figure it out once she felt better and she made a mental note to herself to make sure to plan a day off so they could. No matter what they ended up seeing, she’d like it. “So, what were we going to watch?” She asked again and looked over at him. “No, it’s okay. I can go in.” Plus, what would she say? Grab a pregnancy test too just in case? What would he say? He already had a kid and another on the way. Was she really about to add to that? Her heart raced as she thought about it and it made her feel a little sick. “Good thing I didn’t grab it then.” She smiled at him and reached over to touch his arm for a moment before looking back out the window as they drove.

After he parked in front of the store, she shook her head and looked over at him. “It’s okay. I can do it. I’ll be right back, okay?” Franny hopped out of the Jeep and walked into the store. She went over to the medicine and grabbed the Pepto for her and Emergen-C for him, then she nervously went down the aisle with the pregnancy tests. She stared at them all for a moment before deciding on ClearBlue and went up to the checkout. Thank god a check yourself out option was open and she quickly scanned the things, bagged them in a paper bag, paid, and went out. Her stomach turned as she walked back to the Jeep and got back in. She reached into the bag and handed him his stuff. “Your Emergen-C.” She put on a smile and rolled up the bag to conceal the other contents inside. “Ready?”

***

Even though she was asking, Atlas figured she’d already realized what would have been playing on the big screen had they decided to stay. “Back to the Future,” he finally rattled off with a defeated grin. He didn’t want her feeling guilty because of her sickness. If shit worked out, he’d get it rescheduled and they’d get their private viewing whenever she was feeling better. “Alright, yeah. I’ll be here. Just text me if you need something.” He’d be patient, even if he wanted to go in with her to make sure that everything was okay.

As he waited for her to return, Atlas’ fingers drummed at the steering wheel. He was feeling nervous and he didn’t even know why. Maybe it was because the one time he tried to plan something, it didn’t go the way he wanted? Or maybe he was worried about what was going on with Fran? Either way, when he saw her come out, a lazy smile settled on his lips as he took the Emergen-C from her hand. “Thanks,” he hummed with a nod. The rest of the drive back to his place was quiet except for the howling wind let in by the open windows. It offered a cool breeze and aired out the smell of the food. When they finally reached his place, Atlas nodded toward the front door. “You can go on inside and I’ll grab the food. Help yourself to whatever you need.” If that mean water or booze, she could have whatever she wanted.

She knew he was right. If anyone could get someone to do something, it would be Elizabeth Williams. She always liked Franny and probably one of the few that was liked by the woman and while she knew her and Atlas didn’t quite see eye to eye on many things, if she knew this was for her, she’d do it. “Okay. You’re just… you’re trying to do something nice for me and here I am sick.” She took a deep breath. She knew this was a big deal for him. The both of them. They hadn’t done this before and from what she knew of the other, she didn’t think he had ever taken someone out like this. It was something special and she was ruining it with whatever was going on with her.

“You’re always taking care of me.” She said and looked into his eyes. That’s how they always were with each other. She’d taken care of him more times than she could count and him the same. That’s what best friends did. And now it meant more, didn’t it? “Let’s stop at a store and I’ll run in and get you some and me some Pepto or something.” And maybe something else. The thought of getting a pregnancy test was making her more nervous than she probably ever had been in her life. And that included telling Atlas how she felt. “I know. I think I left all my stuff at your place that I had brought over.” She didn’t add about the night he had let her just leave. The night her heart broke into a million pieces. Instead, she just sat in the Jeep and rubbed her stomach a bit to soothe it. “Okay. I should be okay.” But she thought that earlier and look what happened.

***

It wasn’t like she’d made herself sick on purpose. He could practically see the disappointment in her eyes and hear in her voice. She didn’t want to leave, but Atlas wasn’t going to hold it against her for needing to. After all, he had no doubt that he could pull a few strings again and make it happen. “It’s all good, alright? We’ll figure it out.” Even if they didn’t get to see it on the big screen, he’d take her to the drive-in another night and they’d watch something new. Odds were, maybe she’d enjoy that better than something they’d watched a thousand times anyway.

At her request of stopping by the store, Atlas gave a nod. “Yeah, we can do that. You sure you’re good to run? I can go in if you need me to?” He wasn’t sure if she was feeling up to it and he didn’t mind running in for whatever she needed. It would beat her going in and getting sick in the store. “Yeah, it’s still there. I haven’t touched it.” He hadn’t been sure what to do with it, so he just left. Some of it was still half packed in a bag and the rest was in the drawer that he’d cleaned out for her. When she gave him the okay to drive, Atlas put the Jeep into drive and headed toward the store. It was a short drive, one that didn’t leave him with much time to think about everything. It was only when he shifted into park that he looked her way with a weak smile. “I can go in if you want me to,” he offered once more, eyes meeting with hers.

She nodded. “Of course I know that. I’ve never thought that you didn’t care about me.” She just wasn’t sure where the line of best friend was drawn when she was hurting over the break up. She wanted nothing more than to call him and just have him hold her while she cried, but she knew she couldn’t and that hurt her more. Though, she figured he would’ve came if she did. She went to New York to stop herself from doing so and found herself in the bed of another shamefully and regretted it the second it was over. “We are. Please don’t worry about that.” She wanted them to both feel better about this, but knew that too was going to take some time.

She looked at him and let out a sigh. She was going to need to repay him for this. Here he was doing something incredible for her and she was ruining it by being sick. “If you’re sure. I’ll make it up to you though.” She promised him. She wasn’t sure how at the moment, but she would definitely try. She wasn’t one who cried so the fact she had light tears going down her cheeks was something else that was throwing her off. A thought crossed her mind that she quickly pushed away as he talked. “Are you sure? I can go home so you don’t get sick.” She offered to him and gave him a small smile as he led her to the Jeep. “It is, but it’s okay. I don’t want you to waste money on this. Plus, I could feel better tomorrow and we can eat it.” She didn’t want any of this to go to waste. “Let’s just keep the windows down for the way home.” She said and got into the Jeep.

***

Even if she asked him not to worry, he still would. It was something that wouldn’t change at the snap of anyone’s fingers; it was something he needed time to get over. He wasn’t as cold as he made himself to be at times; he lingered on memories of moments and just how badly he’d fucked up. There were nights that he replayed their fight in his head; how she’d all but begged him to ask her to stay and how he hadn’t said a word in return. It was just how things worked out for him and after years, one would’ve thought that he could step up more, but he hadn’t. It was history repeating itself all over again; it was Atlas self-sabotaging to protect himself from something that he didn’t even know would happen. “You don’t have to make it up to me, Fran. I can always talk the manager into letting us do this again. If I can’t, I can always get Elizabeth to talk to him,” he trailed off, hoping to pull a smile from the woman’s lips. His mother was a scary woman and if he mentioned Franny and needing to reschedule, he was sure she’d have a word or two with the manager.

Though he didn’t want to find himself fighting off a sickness, he refused to let her go home and do it all alone. “I’m sure. I can just take some emergen-C or something. Might help, might not. I just don’t want you going home.” It wouldn’t have been the first time that they took care of the other and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last. “I have extra clothes at my place and I can go out for whatever you need.” It was easier than her calling him once she was home and telling him that she needed something. “We can do that,” he assured, packing up the meal and the blanket and tossing it all in the back. As soon as he was in the Jeep, Atlas rolled down every window and sent a quick text to the manager letting him know that plans had changed. “If you feel like you’re going to get sick, just let me know and I’ll stop.”

She squeezed his hand and moved a little closer to him. “Even then. I’ve waited fifteen years for this, I think taking some time and going slow now won’t hurt, right?” She tried joking a little bit to try to get him to smile or something. She hated seeing him like this. They both weren’t the best at the end of their relationship and she was just as much to blame as he was so he shouldn’t be beating himself up over it. It made her heart ache knowing he was. “Never. You know I’m always the one person who could never give up on you.” That had been true since day one. He was her everything and would always be around; even if she was upset. 

“You better not.” She smiled at him. After all, they’ve had each other’s company for years and it’d be hard to not enjoy it. She truly was liking the last couple months a lot more than ever, despite the time they were apart. But she wouldn’t think about that. Not when they were so good here. She really wanted to try, but even just sitting there and smelling the food was making her stomach turn again. “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to the guy, okay? Explain and make sure you still got that favor.” She didn’t want him to lose that because she wasn’t feeling well. What was going on with her? “Maybe.” She bit her lip and took the crackers, but the smell of them mixed with something else and she quickly stood and ran to the bathrooms. After getting sick and cleaning herself up, she shamefully walked back to him with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I ruined our date.”

***

“You know I care about you, right? Even when shit didn’t work out, I still cared.” He could see how she could have thought otherwise by his actions or lack thereof. He’d watched her run off to New York and hadn’t even bothered to reach out until he’d crossed her that night in the bar with another man. He’d been unfair, but she’d gotten her fair share of justice when she’d fucked someone else in his absence. It wasn’t like he could be pissed about it, yet there he sat, eyes flashing down towards the hands with a little twinge of anger in his chest. “Then I think we’re good.” As long as she could patient with him and the shit he needed, then maybe there was a good chance that they could make it work and he wouldn’t inevitably fuck it up anyway.

When it came to talking to the drive-in manager, Atlas had no doubt that he could work something out with the guy. If he couldn’t work it out through a simple favor, then he’d throw in a cash offer that the guy couldn’t resist. “I’ve got it, Fran. Not many people can say no to this face. Plus, I think if I offer to give him a few tour around the rescue, he’ll be down for it. I might have to throw in a free shirt or two, but it’s worth it.” Plus, if he told his mother that he was trying to give Franny a proper date, he was sure the outspoken woman would have no problem reaching out and putting her own sense into it. Just as he went to argue, he watched as she jumped up and left. He stood up and contemplated going after her, but a few moments later, she was walking back. “Hey, no. Let’s get out of here. We can go back to my place. I’ll get you some water and you go upstairs and sleep it off.” His hand fell down gently onto her back as he guided her toward the Jeep. “I’ll load up the stuff or I can toss it if the smell is making you sick?”

It truly meant something that he was apologizing to her about this. He wasn’t one to do such a thing and she knew how sorry he really was. It made her hope that this time was going to be different. Franny was still scared she’d end up hurt again, but she didn’t want that to stop her this time. She needed to move past her fear and let herself just be with him. “It doesn’t mean that. We don’t know how things are going to go. I want to do this with you, though. Nothing is going to change that.” To her, he was probably the love of her life. If she wasn’t his, she would deal with it. But there was truly no one else to her that could hold a candle to him. 

“Exactly. I think we’ve more than made up for those four lost years.” She grinned. Hell, she couldn’t even remember those years without him. He had always been there and the fact they almost lost that hurt more. They were really putting almost thirty years of friendship on the line for this relationship and losing that would make this all hurt more. “I tend to make good company.” There was a time before that she wouldn’t need to say things like this. Even before their relationship, she would spend weeks on end at his place or him at hers. But this was different. They were taking things slower, so she wouldn’t be spending as much time there until they decided if this was going to work. “I don’t want to ruin this. I was trying to push it aside to enjoy the night with you.” She really wanted to do this, but she wouldn’t fight if he wanted to wait. She felt bad for him to go through all this trouble and getting all this food and here she was almost sick. “We don’t have to go. What else do we have? Maybe something else will sooth my stomach.”

***

There were days that he could barely hold himself together, let alone shoulder the needs of anyone else. He wanted to be the selfish man that Franny deserved, but it would take more than a snap of the fingers for it to happen and he knew it. Hard work and persistent behavior was all that would make the difference in the long run. “Even if it takes me a little bit to get my shit together?” She was patient now, but what happened if he didn’t move as quickly as she wanted him to? What if he failed to be the man she deserved, even after he tried to make changes? “Just don’t give up on me.” It was easier said than done, but it was all he could ask for in the moment.

They did well with what time they’d had and up until their breakup, they’d been good at communicating that. It was the lapse in communication on his side of the relationship that had dared to ruin it all. “Yeah, well, you do make good company. I can’t really argue that.” Whether they were just talking or fucking around, she’d never failed to give him a good night. It was only within the past half year that they’d been doing the latter though. Still, it was a change he liked and selfishly so. “If you’re not feeling well though, it’s all good. Don’t think you owe it to me to stick around. Like I said, I can probably reschedule this. Not like the movie is going anywhere and they aren’t even open on weekdays anyway.” Tongue fell against his bottom lip as he shuffled around their options in an attempt to find something that would settle her stomach. “We’ve got crackers. It was supposed to go with the soup, but it might do better if you want to just eat them on their own?”

He was right. Just because they talked didn’t mean it was okay, but she also was up for just moving on. She didn’t want to focus on what happened before. She was trying to just let him earn her trust back and to try this again properly. “I know.” She rubbed his hand and sighed. The pain was hard to forget, but she knew what she wanted and she would always want him. “You’re doing amazing, okay? I’m not going to tell you to stop doing anything. It crosses my mind too, but please don’t beat yourself up over this. We’re trying this and going slow and I’m glad to be doing all this with you. I really am.” She tried assuring him.

“All but four years.” She said back. She’d always remember the day she met him. He quickly turned one of her worst days around and changed her life. That led to him knowing her as well as she knew him and it hurt to think they almost lost that. She figured one day they would make up, but she was glad they had now. She couldn’t imagine her life without him and she didn’t want to. “Yeah, yeah. Looks like I won’t be leaving your place for a while.” She teased him. She quickly took the water as he handed it to her and took careful sips; praying that the nausea would go away. She closed her eyes and took a breath before feeling it settle for the moment. Franny opened her eyes and looked at him. “No. We don’t have to reschedule.  You went to all this trouble. I’ll be fine.” She tried assuring him, but wasn’t sure if that was going to be the case. “I just… haven’t been feeling well. I think I overworked myself, but I’m fine. May need to just eat something light. I figured the wrap would be okay, but apparently not.” If she could keep that down. “I’m sorry.”

***

He had never been apologetic toward the shit that he caused. Whether it was with his family or a stranger, he supported his own actions through and through, rarely able to admit his own faults. With Franny though, it was easy to see how he’d fucked up and just how easy it could’ve been to fix instead of let it brew into something else entirely. “Just means if I fuck up again, it’s going to be an even bigger deal.” It put a lot of pressure on him, but maybe pressure was exactly what he needed. He was tired of fucking up his own happiness and for what? Why? He had yet to figure out his own reasoning for self-sabotaging, but it was getting old and he was getting tired.

“Four years is nothing compared to twenty-seven.” While meeting had been one of the strangest occurrences in his lifetime, it was also the best thing to have ever happened to him. He hated that the circumstances of that day were so sad, because Franny had turned out to be so important to him in every single way possible. “I don’t have a problem with that. Might need to make a beer run, but I could use the company.” They’d agreed to take things much slower the second time around, but he didn’t mind her hanging out a few nights a week until they’d figured out the details of what they wanted to be and where they wanted things to go. “It’s all good, Fran. If you’re not feeling up for it, we can try again another time.” It was hard to imagine she’d enjoy the movie if she was feeling ill. “Don’t apologize. We can pack up and go back to my place?”

She reached over to him and took his hand. “Attie, stop. We’ve talked. We’ve been through this. It’s okay.” She told him. She was still hurting from it, but wanted to see where they were going now. She wanted to do this and trust he wouldn’t hurt her again. This was the first real step in that and she appreciated it more than he could know. More than she could show. “We don’t have to go back to that. I know you’re sorry for it and we’re okay. I’m okay.” She said and looked deeper into his eyes. She felt the emotions coming up and fought the urge to tear up, but it was harder than usual to do so. Maybe because she was exhausted from work like the nausea she was feeling.

She shook her head and smiled. “We don’t need your ego to be boosted even more just because you know what I like.” She teased him and played with the wrap in her hands. Franny smiled and listened to him talk. “I know, but you’ve done good so far.” She told him. She knew that the date just started, but she was definitely enjoying herself. Though, there was only rare moments when she didn’t enjoy time with Atlas. “Come over? You sure I won’t be there anyways?” She raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. “You don’t have to fix anything, but this is perfect.” She assured him before going to take a bite of the wrap. The smell of it hit her and she felt her stomach turn. Great. This was the last thing she needed. Her face kinda went pale and she moved the wrap away to try to breath. “Did you bring water? Or something?” She asked and took slow breaths to keep herself calm.

***

“Just because we talked about it, doesn’t mean it’s okay.” Maybe she’d forgiven him, but he had yet to forgive himself for the way he’d acted. He’d been selfish and because of that, he’d almost lost her entirely. It was unfair and it was total bullshit, even for the man who was used to fucking up and making poor decisions. “I know we’re good, but it doesn’t mean I don’t think about it sometimes.” He wouldn’t pretend like he’d forgotten the pain in her eyes and how guilty he’d felt for letting her walk away. “I just wanna keep doing better. If you want me to stop apologizing, I can do that, but it’s still on my mind.” He wasn’t ready to sweep it under the rug yet, but he’d stop bringing it up if she asked him to.

“I know plenty of shit you like. Perks of being your best friend for most of our lives.” He’d known her for over half of his life and was sure he’d loved her for just as long, even if it wasn’t in the way he’d truly known until it’d hit him hard. “All I’m saying is, you’re gonna have to help me finish this off.” He hoped she’d already be there, but he wasn’t sure what her work schedule looked like and he hated putting any sort of expectation on her. Nodding, Atlas bit back a pleased smile, but his happiness shifted into slight worry as he saw the color drain from her face. “What’s up, Fran? You good?” It was warm out and for all he knew, she hadn’t drank enough water and the heat was finally getting to her. Nodding, he leaned back toward the cooler he’d packed and plucked out a cold water. “You sure you wanna do this tonight? I can probably reschedule if you’re not feeling well.”

“Well, this one seemed to go in your favor.” Honestly, him sweet talking her did a lot in his favor too, but she liked to make him think it didn’t. It was always something she was weak to. “A favor? Cashing them in for me, sweet talking for me… you know how to treat a lady.” She teased a little bit, but this was all so amazing of him. He didn’t have to do all this for her, but it was already becoming the best date of her life. Her smile grew and she looked down for a moment to control her cheeks from blushing fully. “So am I.” She said softly before focusing fully on spreading the blanket out. 

She sat down on the blanket and watched as he brought all the food over. “You are.” She said back, but figured neither of them would be. This was already feeling like too much and she was loving it. Loving him. He was surely making her fall for him all over again and helping her believe they could actually do this. Franny continued smiling at him as he joined her and nodded. “I see that. Making sure you really please me, huh?” She teased him a little bit. It was definitely thoughtful of him and she appreciated it. However,she hoped that whatever it was making her feel a little nauseous was gone because she didn’t want to cut this short. She wanted to do this with him. Keeping that in mind, she chose something light and went for one of the wraps from the Lunch Box. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

***

He hadn’t treated her right before everything had went to shit. He’d closed down and stopped communicating because that seemed easier than talking to her about it all. He’d wanted to save his friendship, but instead, he’d ruined everything and almost lost her entirely. Now, all he wanted was to fix what he’d broken and perhaps do it all better than he had the first time around. “I wasn’t fair to you before, Fran. I owe you more than a favor at a drive-in.” He wasn’t sure how much more he owed her, but he knew he couldn’t stop at a simple night out, even if she loved it. “I wouldn’t go that far yet. I’m still the same jackass that ruined things the first time around.” He couldn’t discount how much he’d hurt her, even if they’d already made up for that. He’d never stop apologizing, not until he knew he’d fixed it all accordingly.

After he’d put everything atop the blanket, Atlas settled down onto the blanket himself and smiled her way. “I know what you like,” he replied confidently, a wink being tossed her way as he helped unwrap some of the food before them. “You said you wanted a date. I don’t think I’ve ever planned a date in my entire life. I panicked and might have bought more food than we need, but I guess that means you’ll have to come over and eat dinner with me again tomorrow. Maybe lunch too.” He’d take any time he could get with her, even if it was just hanging around his place. “I’m trying to fix what I fucked up. Feel free to let me know how I’m doing any time now.”

While they were together before, this felt different. A good different. They had talked about their issues, but also knew this was what they wanted to do. She knew it was going to take time and for them both to get used to this version of them, but as long as they communicated and kept it slow like they had been doing, maybe this could work now. She hoped so because she wanted this more than anything. “Well, who could say no to an Atlas Williams Sweet Talk?” She teased him a little bit, but she felt special that he did this all for her. She’d been on many dates in the past, but no one had done something this sweet. “Trying to get me drunk and doing something this amazing for me? Trying to get lucky?” She smirked.

A light laugh left her lips and she rolled her eyes. “I guess so.” She said back sarcastically and shook her head. She got out of the Jeep and pursed her lips for a moment. If they did the back, they could use the blanket if they got chilly as the sun went down. But, then again, they could just move there during the movie. And she felt sure that either way, they were going to get a little closer during the movie if not while they ate. “Let’s spread out the blanket to eat and get in the back for the movie.” She said and grabbed the blanket to lay out in the grass. “Oh, you’re going to be sorry you said that.”

***

It was still unknown territory, but he was doing his best and that seemed good enough for her. If it wasn’t, he had no doubt she’d tell him; it was part of their whole communicate better, argue less thing. “Fair question, but lots of people apparently.” He’d tried sweet talking his way into plenty of things and out of them too, but it didn’t always work. “It helps when the owner owes you a favor though.” Or well, owed his father. Same difference though. “I’d argue that I’m already lucky,” he replied smoothly, shooting a wink her way with a smile to match. He was happy, genuinely so, and all he wanted was to not screw something up for once. It was still early though and knowing him, that part was unfortunately inevitable.

He watched as she went for the blanket and spread it onto the grass. He grabbed the food and was careful to sit it atop the blanket. It took two trips to the back of the Jeep to get it all to the blanket, but it was quite the spread and if she left hungry, then maybe he hadn’t gotten enough after all. “Am I though?” He owed her more than a blanket dinner and a movie, but it would take time to figure out what he was supposed to do. He wasn’t the kind of guy who planned sweet shit, but he was trying and that had to count for something. “Take your pick on what you want. I couldn’t decide so I stopped a few places.”

While she did love her job deeply, she was getting tired of the overnights. It had always been part of her schedule that a few nights a month, her team would have these shifts and usually, she didn’t mind them. However, with this new situation with Atlas, she wanted to spend time with him more and more. She was looking forward to this date he said he’d do, but as the weeks passed, either she was working or he was then she would go from having overnights to not. It was tiring and she found herself getting worn out faster than usual and missing her period, but she wrote it off as stress. It wasn’t unusual for her to experience the latter. It happened every now and then. So when she had a few days off finally in a row, she was glad. And the fact that they happened to align with Atlas’s schedule made her happier because that meant this date could actually happen.

She had felt nauseous for most of the day, but figured it was because she was tired and overworked. She had slept in a little longer than she normally would’ve, even on a day off, and pretty much relaxed around the house until it was time to get ready for the date. She kept her outfit casual, but also nice. Shorts and a plain tank top fit the summer weather that was hitting their hometown. She was smiling more than she had in a while as they pulled up to the drive-in and settled on the blanket in the grass. “Well, he gets the entire drive-in to be just for us and even brings me food? So far, you’re doing a great job.” She said and smiled at the man she loved. “Yeah. Any clue at what we’re watching?” She asked for the third time since he picked her up; hoping he’d drop a hint this time. However, there was only two options that came to her mind: her favorite movie (Dirty Dancing) or his (Back to the Future). Something told her it’d be his, but that would be okay since they had a big history with that movie. “You better be careful. I may get used to being spoiled like this.” She teased.

***

He was nervous, even if this were something that was long overdue. He had owed her a date long before he’d finally caved and all he could hope for was that it met her standards or whatever she’d for in a first official time out together. “Had to do a little sweet talking to make it happen, but we’re here.” He’d used his father’s favor as leverage and if anything, it’d worked out much better than he’d even expected. “The food was a little more difficult. Wasn’t sure what you’d want, so I grabbed a few different things.” He’d stopped by a few local restaurants and grabbed the favorites she always went for. If anything, he’d overpacked on the food. “I even brought your favorite booze if you want a drink.” He’d packed waters too, but he didn’t want to take away any potential excitement.

At her question about what they were watching, Atlas bit back a boyish grin and shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out once it starts playing on the big screen.” With that, he rounded the Jeep and tugged open the back where the food and drinks sat in a cooler. “Alright, I’m not sure how you wanna do this, but I figured we could either hangout in the back or I have a blanket if you’d rather lay outside. Your call.” Odds were, if they laid in the back, he’d end up getting handsy and if she didn’t tell him to knock it off, they’d end up missing part of the movie. “Nothing wrong with being spoiled.”

Unsure what to do, Atlas had called in a favor at the local drive-in. Apparently the owner owed his father after James had helped rebuild one of the screens after a nasty storm. As luck would have it, the man also had an old copy of Back to the Future in his collection. The food he’d picked up was some of Franny’s favorites and he’d already laid the seats down in the back if she preferred that over the blanket covered ground. “Well,” he hummed, stepping out of the Jeep that was now parked in front of the screen. It was still light out, but the sun would be setting shortly. “You said you wanted a real date. How’s this?” A private viewing of their favorite movie together, not that he’d told her what they were going to watch. “I figured we could maybe grub a little before the show starts.”

She heard the cup on the counter and raised her head. This was what she needed. She stood fully and took the cup; taking a drink. She was glad they were talking about this despite being scared about it all. She worried she would say the wrong thing and ruin this for herself. “I know. Santiago… he was worried about the same thing. He never dated because he worried I’d get attached.” She looked at her best friend. “Even if we didn’t work out, I’d still be your best friend.” At least she hoped that this time they could be better at all that. “I’d still be around for you both. But we can put this off for however long you need.” Before, she was more worried about his child’s mom keeping them apart. She was upset she hadn’t met his daughter yet, but understood where he came from with it better now. Before, he never said these things. “We could just tell her I’m your best friend because I am.” She pointed out before drinking more of her coffee. “So, we’re doing this then? Dating? Not seeing anyone else and actually communicating too?”

***

He hated to blame Franny for anything, seeing as she wasn’t in the wrong. She wanted a relationship and while he wanted to be the one to give it to her, it was going to take him time and a lesson on commitment. “I just don’t want to hurt you. I don’t make it easy. It’s never been easy.” He cared about her more than he could put into words, but he also hated to hurt her by distancing himself too. “I know. I get that. It’s just hard. When we were together, it just felt more like this big thing than anything. I don’t want a label to fuck us up. I’ve never been big on labels.” Even in high school when he’d held a steady girl for months at a time, they’d never made anything official. It was a terrifying thought, even years later. “I want you to meet her. I do.” At her suggestion, Atlas took another drink of coffee and nodded. It wasn’t a terrible idea and it left room for everyone to adjust when things changed. “We can do that. At least for now?” There were things they still needed to work through and if they decided on just friends, it wouldn’t tear anyone apart but themselves. “I want to take it slow. I’m not going to fuck with anyone else if that’s what you’re worried about.” If she wanted to consider that dating, then yeah. They were going to try it.

She put her elbows on the counter and put her head in her hands. She wanted to cry. She was barely awake enough and they were having this conversation and it was making her emotional; which she hated to be. “I do. I do trust you on that. I just got scared before.” She said and felt a tear on her hands and she wiped them away quickly. She couldn’t help how scared she had gotten. She didn’t have a good track record on relationships. She got scared in all of them that she wasn’t enough. Really, it was Bobby’s fault. He cheated and she figured everyone else would too. Even her best friend. “But I wouldn’t just leave her life. I wouldn’t be able to do that. If she got attached, I’d be attached too. I’d still be there. For both of you.” She told him and swallowed. “But I know it needs to take time. I’m sorry.” She shook her head and kept her head in her hands. “I know. And I do trust you. I trust you more than anyone else.”

***

He understood being scared. Hell, he was terrified of what the future held. All he wanted was to be a decent father and a friend to the woman he shared said child with. It was more complicated than he’d imagined it to be, but he was trying. “I get that. I got angry instead of hearing you out and I’m sorry for that.” When the coffee maker stopped brewing, Atlas turned to grab two mugs and poured them each a cup just how they liked it. Turning back, he sat the mug on the counter beside of her and took a quick drink of the hot liquid and sighed. “I know, but it feels different with a kid. She isn’t going to understand what it means. She’s going to see us together and if it doesn’t work, then she won’t understand why you aren’t here when she is.” It was more so about if things failed, but he had every single right to worry about his daughter’s wellbeing. “I just want to do shit right this time around. I stopped talking last time and it fucked things up. That’s on me.”