hush hush

“You know I don’t like it when you call it an ‘orgy’, it makes us sound so…“ Jess pouted. “I don’t know. We’re refined men and women who happen to enjoy the occasional groupal intercourse.“

“Honestly, that reporter wouldn’t find out about us if we initiated him.“

“I’m ready to try again, if you are?”

@willconwcy

With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friendsMmm, I get high with a little help from my friendsMmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

I think you’d have to Google that. Are you trying to sing that one song right now or…? I mean, I’ll support it but only if you’re planning on teaming it with a little dance number. [ laughs ] Good point. My email back will be very stern now. Thank you.

I don’t know if Google will help in this situation, but I can give it the old college try. That I never finished. You know. Would you like to hear me sing that song? I’d do it, but you’d be worse off, I dance and sing like a drunk white dude at a party. Stern is always best in these situations, as much as you might want to be the cool professor.

“My parents didn’t let me get a ‘Go your own way’ tattoo when I was 17 which now I see as a blessing because I wanted to do it, you know, that place in your back where people get tramp stamps? I’d have a Fleetwood Mac tramp stamp so I’m glad– Well, glad that I don’t“ He explained, biting his lip. Honestly, Nate was getting weird vibes from the guy. He seemed way too young to be talking about tuesday cheap pizzas… But then again, Aspen was a weird as hell town. “Right, the loins…“ Nate trailed off, finally closing his notepad and returning it, along with his pen, to his jacket’s pocket. “I think I got everything I needed. In case you hear anything else about that, uhm, sex cult, give me a call, yeah?“ Grabbing his wallet, he pulled out his card from it, offering it to Will.

“No, Stevie should be everyone’s queen. Also, 42 is such a strong number, ‘cause now we can say Rumours is the answer to life, the universe and everything. Like, and it probably is anyway.” Nate spoke, obviously with very passionate point of views on the subject. Yet, he shook his head again, trying to focus on his work and reminding himself he’d a deadline to deliver that piece. Listening carefully to Will’s words, he made a few notes here and there. “You seem to have a strong opinion on when the cult should meet” He pointed out with a shrug. Sighing deeply at the question, Nate opened his notepad on one of the first pages. “According to my research for this piece, a furry is“ he cleaned his throat “a subculture interested in sexual acts revolving anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics“ He closed the notepad. “I got that word by word from wikipedia. Thoughts?”

“That is such a great album! Do you know it turned 42 years like three days ago? Crazy, right?“ Nate suddenly shook his head, realizing he was getting away from topic. “Sorry, uhm, back to the sex cult rumours– Well, people say it is in the smallest of towns that the craziest stuff happens.” He said, opening his notepad and writing something down. “And it appears like this so called sex cult, meets at tuesday nights and to join you must be part of the, uhm“ Raising an eyebrow at his notes and then at Will, Nate sighed before reading out loud, “Furry community.“

Am I in the presence of a diplomat or a former class-cutter? Well, she’s only skipped two so far which isn’t that bad. The pun may be a means to distract me from the slippery slope she’s headed down though.

Is there a rule that says I can’t be both? Two is nothing, a drop in the hat. No, wait, that’s not the saying. A drop in the water. A drop in the ocean. Geez, maybe I should’ve gone to class more. Yeah, punish her, what if she ends up like me?

“I mean, we can comment on all of those things, but one at a time. First: have you heard the rumours?“

“I’ve heard the rumours, and I’ve heard Rumours, possibly the greatest album of all time, but I digress, I’ve never really taken it seriously, the idea that this little town houses a sex cult.”

“You’re a life saver!” she exclaimed, getting in the car once he came to a complete stop. “Triple A has not been called because I stupidly forgot to renew my membership.” It was a small white lie, she hadn’t really forgotten to renew her membership more as, just chose not to because she didn’t think it would be necessary. “Thank you for this, by the way. Your kindness is very much appreciated.”

Will laughed, shaking his head as he waited until she was buckled in before he started driving again. “More like a feet saver,” he teased. “Ah fair enough, no worries, I can drop you somewhere and wait until the real hero comes to tow your car, if you like. I can’t in good conscious leave you abandoned at a gas station.” He smiles, glancing at her for a second. “No thank you necessary, always happy to help. Though, that does make it sound like I often pick up strangers but you know, maybe I do.”

Hi, I’m a writer for the Daily Aspen newspaper and I’m working on a piece about the rumours of a sex cult going around Aspen Creek. Care to comment?

“Comment on the rumours, or on the concept of sex cult, or on the fact you’re a writer for the Daily Aspen? There’s a lot of options here, bud.”

henlo it’s avie again bc no control n bc bobby wanted a best friend to join the sex cult n gerry n amanda LET HIM DOWN like what gives bc when someone asks you to join a sex cult the obvious answer is UH HECK YES.

ANYWAY this is my lil scorpion son who honestly is a true scorpio like sweet and loyal but WHOOPS THERE’S THAT STING NOW U LAYING ON THE GROUND BLEEDING.

a massage therapist who totally would give happy endings lOOK I WAS GONNA MAKE THAT HIS SECRET but i thought amanda and gerry would reject the app but like if i got a massage from chace crawford and he didn’t stick a few digits in i would refuse to pay.

besties for life aka biffles with jess wilde and also a member of the sex cult because heLLO WHY NOT.

his secret is that he also works as a male escort also remember when nate archibald aka the prettiest but most boring dude on gossip girl was more or less being paid for sex in season 2? good times. BUT YES he’s a male escord hush hush so dial 1800-SEXYTIMES for a connection or something.

when will i stop being a troll? probably fucking never.

loyal as fuck like he has his friends backs (i mean look he joined a sex cult to hang out with his bro jess so like ok) but once you’ve lost his trust, this bitch is ice cold.

loves a good bit of revenge when someone has wronged him bc same bitch SAME, once someone was smoking near me while i was tryna enjoy my lunch in the sunshine so i threw my chips at his feet and he was SWARMED by fucking seagulls and in that moment i realised i was like daenerys except i wasn’t the mother of dragons i was the mother of seagulls.

is anyone actually reading this?

“Sorry to bother you, but do you mind giving me a lift to the nearest gas station? My car broke down a few miles back and I’m this close to tossing my heels and walking barefoot on this disgusting gravel– So please save me from a tetanus shot?”

“What kind of guy would I be to turn down a lady who needs my help?” Will asked, somewhat rhetorically. “No problem, have you called Triple A?” He pulled over to a complete stop and unlocked the door for her, indicating for her to get in.