where i need to be

I'm not really sure where to start, and quite honestly, I don't really care to. But for some reason, I feel the need to.

Today I turn 62 years old.

The years have gone by so quickly, but what a blessing it is that I am still here to celebrate another one. Today, I'm going to tie my 62 years into a little Tumblr post. Not for you, really... but for me. Something to look back on one day and remember where I came from.

When I look back, I remember so much love. We didn't have a lot of money, but somehow that never mattered. As a child, I thought my family was unique, but as I've grown older, I've realized so many people were fortunate enough to experience the same gift.

The blessing of feeling wanted.

The blessing of feeling loved.

The blessing of being understood.

Knowing that no matter what happened, I could go home and be safe.

I remember walking through the door to find my mom waiting with open arms, while the other arm was busy talking on the phone, folding laundry, or stirring a pot of gravy... yes, gravy, not sauce.

I was born in 1964 in Mount Vernon, New York. We were a pretty typical Italian family. Mom, Dad, my sister, my brother, and then... me. I may have been a surprise, considering my siblings were quite a bit older.

That was okay, though.

I often joke about having "Only Child Syndrome." Growing up, I hated feeling like an only child, but now I see the gift in it. It made me fiercely independent. It made me strong. It taught me responsibility long before I realized it. Most importantly, it prepared me to care for my parents as they grew older, and for that, I will always be grateful.

Growing up just outside New York City was a gift in itself. Looking back, I realize I was spoiled by some of the best food in the country. Real Italian bakeries where the bread was still warm, neighborhood delis that knew your order before you spoke, pizza that still sets the bar for me today, Jewish delis, little family restaurants, and every culture imaginable sharing their traditions through food.

I didn't know it then, but I wasn't just eating, I was learning. Every family had a recipe worth protecting, and every meal brought people together. I truly believe that's where my passion for cooking and hospitality began.

The city also taught me something just as valuable: street smarts. It taught me to pay attention, trust my instincts, appreciate people from every walk of life, work hard, and stand my ground when I needed to. Those lessons have served me just as well as any recipe ever could.

Life wasn't always easy.

Some really awful things happened when I was very young. I swept them under the rug, convinced they would stay there. They didn't. They followed me into adulthood, and because I didn't yet know how to face them, I stumbled. I made mistakes.

But let me be clear...

Those scars never stopped me from loving deeply. They never kept me from being present, compassionate, or empathetic. And they certainly never stopped me from being a devoted mother.

I've been married a few times, and I won't dare call any of those chapters mistakes, because without them, I wouldn't have my three greatest treasures, my children.

One of life's greatest lessons has been realizing that our children are born through us, but they don't belong to us. They belong to themselves.

Watching each of them grow into kind, capable, independent adults has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

I am grateful for every chapter. Every blessing. Every lesson.

Somehow, I've managed to live many lives in one.

I've been a mother, a wife, a best friend, a professional musician, an artist, a photographer, worked in advertising, made donuts, drove a limousine for the government, bartended, waitressed, ran a music lesson studio, helped grand-open several Guitar Centers, and today, I have the privilege of being a chef and owning my own restaurant.

I've crossed paths with some of the kindest people imaginable. I've shared the stage with incredible musicians, sat across from famous people, and have been fortunate enough to call a handful of wonderful people lifelong friends.

My mom always told me,

"Nancy, if you can count your friends on one hand, you're blessed."

She was right. My God, I miss you, Mommy.

My husband is my best friend. We've traveled a very bumpy road together, but he's still my favorite person to explore this world with.

Because of him, I've seen places I never imagined I'd see. I've hiked breathtaking trails, conquered fears I didn't know I had, and learned not to fear my night time dreams, or even the end—but instead to embrace today. To live right now.

So this morning, I woke up another year older. And yes... a little wiser.

Instead of focusing on the number, I find myself looking back over the last 365 days and smiling at everything I've accomplished.

There is still so much left to do. So much left to learn. So many places left to see.

When I was younger, I thought happiness came from arriving somewhere. At 62, I've learned it comes from becoming someone. Every joy, every disappointment, every success, every setback has shaped the woman I am today, and I wouldn't trade this journey for anything.

If these first 62 years have taught me anything, it's that love always outweighs regret, kindness is never wasted, and the best chapters are often the ones we never saw coming.

So here's to Chapter 63. May I never stop learning. May I never lose my curiosity. May I always find beauty in ordinary moments. May good health follow me.

To everyone who has wished me a Happy Birthday, and to those who will, thank you.

I am grateful to share this little journey called life with each of you.

A day in Tahoe

And what a day it turned out to be.

Our first adventure was the hike from Vikingholm to Eagle Falls. The trail descends nearly 550 feet in just a mile, and while I'd describe it more as a fire road than a hiking trail, the scenery was absolutely spectacular. The views overlooking Emerald Bay were breathtaking, Vikingholm Castle was fascinating, and Eagle Falls was well worth the walk. We were also pleasantly surprised by the wonderful gift shop tucked away near the castle.

The climb back to the top was no joke! Gaining 550 feet in a mile is a serious workout, but for me, it was much more than that. It was my first significant climb since knee surgery, and reaching the top felt like a personal victory.

From there, we spent the afternoon doing what we love most, taking the scenic route. We circled the entire lake, explored South Lake Tahoe, wandered through a few shops, and eventually found ourselves enjoying fresh ceviche paired with a spicy jalapeño margarita overlooking the water. Naturally, the chef in me was inspired. I already have plans to create a Bella's version featuring pineapple shrimp ceviche served alongside a spicy margarita as a special pairing.

Dinner that evening was at Old Range Steakhouse, and it completely exceeded our expectations. Honestly, I'm amazed it doesn't receive more recognition. While some of the more famous restaurants around the lake receive all the attention, Old Range delivered one of the best meals we've had on this entire trip. Sometimes the highest-rated places aren't necessarily the best, and this was a perfect example.

Now it's time to trade mountain peaks for bright lights as we head to Las Vegas! Tonight we'll be at Caesars Palace for an evening of laughter with the legendary Jerry Seinfeld. After days of hiking, exploring, and soaking in some of the most beautiful scenery we've ever experienced, it feels like the perfect way to wind down.

Mount Shasta to Lake Tahoe

Today was a travel day, and it turned into another unforgettable adventure.

We started the morning kayaking on beautiful Lake Siskiyou. Being out on the calm water with Mount Shasta watching over us was absolutely beautiful. From there, we visited all three McCloud Falls, and each one was more beautiful than the last. If you're ever in the area, don't miss them, they're worth every step.

As we made our way toward Lake Tahoe, we were treated to a wonderful view of Lassen Peak, making for another perfect photo opportunity.

We checked into Cedar Glen Lodge, and it is everything we hoped for. It was cozy, charming, and the perfect home base for exploring Tahoe. After settling in, we walked down to the beach and spent some time taking in our first views of this crystal lake.

Dinner was a bit of an adventure. We tried Gar Woods, but for us, it was all style and very little substance. The prices were hard to justify, they were out of beer, and it just felt like a tourist trap. For the first time ever, we politely excused ourselves before ordering.

Instead, we found Lanza's Restaurant, a cozy Italian spot that turned out to be a wonderful surprise. While it wasn't the best Italian food we've ever had, it was delicious, incredibly affordable, and the atmosphere was warm and welcoming. Our server, Keir, was outstanding and made the evening even better. I'd happily give Lanza's a solid 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Now we're settling in for the night and getting excited for a full day of hiking and exploring Lake Tahoe tomorrow. Every day on this journey seems to bring another memory we'll never forget.

Day 9– Bandon to Mount Shasta

Another beautiful day on the road.

We said goodbye to the Oregon coast and made our way toward Mount Shasta. Along the way, we stopped at Hedge Creek Falls, and it was absolutely worth it. The hike to the falls was beautiful, peaceful, and just the right amount of adventure. We wandered a little bit beyond the falls, explored the area, and spent time taking photos and enjoying the cool mist and beauty of the falls. It is much warmer here then Bandon.

Later, we headed to Lake Siskiyou, where we completed about 4.5 miles of hiking. The scenery was stunning, and everywhere we turned, Mount Shasta seemed to be watching us. The fresh mountain air, towering pines, and clear water made for one of those days; it reminds you how beautiful this country truly is.

For dinner, we chose Mount Shasta Resort Highland House Restaurant, just kidding! We actually ate at Mount Shasta Brewing Company & Craft Kitchen. It was okay, but after so many memorable meals on this trip, we both agreed we probably could have done better.

We hoped to visit McCloud Falls before the day ended, but traffic had other plans. After sitting in a traffic backup, we decided to turn around and save it for tomorrow.

Tomorrow's plan sounds perfect: a morning kayak on Lake Siskiyou, another attempt at McCloud Falls, and then on to Tahoe for the next chapter of this incredible journey.

As this trip continues, I find myself increasingly blessed, not just for the places we're seeing, but for the uninterrupted time together.

Every day has brought something beautiful.

And tomorrow, Tahoe awaits.

Our Coastal and Mountain Adventure Continues...

There is something special about waking up on the coast and knowing the day ahead holds no agenda beyond discovery.

Day 7 – Mendocino to Bandon

We said goodbye to Mendocino and continued our journey north along one of the most beautiful stretches of coastline we have ever experienced. The drive itself was part of the adventure, with rugged shorelines, towering trees, and endless ocean views accompanying us mile after mile.

Arriving in Bandon felt like stepping into another world. Our room at the Windermere was everything we had hoped for and more. Perched along the ocean, the view was breathtaking. The sound of the waves, the cool coastal breeze, and the peaceful atmosphere immediately forced us to slow down and simply enjoy being present for one another.

It was Father's Day, and I had a mission!

We visited Farm & Sea and gathered the ingredients for a special dinner: fresh Dungeness crab, steamed clams, and beautiful vegetables from the local market. Back at our room, I set out to create a memorable Father's Day meal for Todd.

The challenge? I had only three pans and a tiny vacation kitchen to work with.

As any chef knows, limitations often inspire creativity. Somehow, everything came together. The crab was sweet and delicate, the clams tasted like the ocean itself, and the vegetables were perfectly fresh. More importantly, the meal was prepared with love.

We spent the evening enjoying dinner overlooking the water, sharing conversation, reflecting on the journey so far, and talking about what lay ahead. There was no rush, no schedule, no distraction, just gratitude for the life we have built and the opportunity to pause and enjoy it together.

It was a quiet evening, but sometimes those become the most meaningful.

As the sun disappeared and the sound of the ocean filled the room, we settled in and prepared for the adventures waiting on Day 7.

Day 8 – Face Rock, Horses, Starfish, and a Sand Dollar

This would prove to be one of the most memorable days of our trip.

We began at Face Rock, where the mist rolled across the shoreline and waves crashed against the dramatic sea stacks. The beauty of the Oregon coast is difficult to describe, as it is wild, powerful, and peaceful all at the same time.

From there, we visited the historic Coquille River Lighthouse, standing watch over the coastline as it has for generations.

The highlight of the day was horseback riding along the beach. Riding beside the ocean with the sound of the surf and endless coastal views felt like something from a dream.

But the surprises were not over.

While exploring the shoreline, we discovered two beautiful starfish tucked among the rocks, surrounded by mussels, clams, and tide pools teeming with life. We had to keep a careful eye on the incoming tide as it was coming in fast, as we searched, but the experience felt like a treasure hunt provided by nature herself.

Then came the moment that will stay with me always.

Todd found a perfectly intact sand dollar and was so excited to bring it to me. Watching his face light up made the discovery even more special. It is incredibly unusual to find a sand dollar this beautiful and complete.

Thank you, Todd. I love you to the moon and back..

More than a gift from the sea, it became a reminder of this season of our lives, this journey, and the joy of sharing it together. I will cherish it always.

We ended the evening with a wonderful dinner at The Wheelhouse before returning to our room to reflect on another remarkable day.

Tomorrow, we leave the coast behind and begin our journey toward Mount Shasta.

The ocean has given us beautiful memories, unexpected treasures, and time together that we will never forget.

Mendocino/Fort Bragg/ Glass Beach/ Point Cabrillo Light House

Yesterday was one for the memory books.

We started the day with breakfast at Cafe One and some wonderful time with family. From there, we headed to Glass Beach, where I challenged myself and climbed down the rocks to get a closer look at the tide pools and coastline.

The adventure paid off. We found beautiful sea glass in shades of cobalt blue, emerald green, amber, and seafoam. We watched seals basking on the rocks below and even spotted a bright red starfish clinging to the shoreline.

From there, we visited the lighthouse, Point Cabrillo Light House. It is located just north of Mendocino Village near Caspar and is one of the most photographed lighthouses on the Northern California coast. The lighthouse sits on a bluff overlooking the Pacific. It was a little bit of a trek down and then out, but stunning coastal views.

We then explored the boutiques of Mendocino Village, and finished the day with fresh oysters and Micheladas at Princess Seafood Harbor.

The California coast continues to amaze us. Every stop seems to offer something unexpected, beautiful, and worth remembering. We would consider a Summer home here..

Grateful for the adventure, the views, and the memories we're making together.

Little River/Mendocino

Today was a travel day, with a lot of elevation and winding roads.

We crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, and stopped for a photo. It was pretty cool seeing Alcatraz in the distance

We made it to Little River and took the scenic route through some white knuckle roads that led us to Montgomery Woods.

Standing beneath those very massive redwoods is a humbling experience. The photos simply can't capture the scale, beauty, and peacefulness of that place. We took a hike and really stretched our legs and minds..

This trip continues to remind us how important it is to slow down, wander a little, and appreciate the beauty around us.

We ended the evening with dinner at Noyo Harbor Inn Restaurant, enjoying good food, great conversation, and the mighty Pacific.

Our stay at School House Creek Inn is charming and rustic. The best of both worlds. Cooler weather, lying in bed with the fireplace crackling, with the patio door open, while listening to the waves crash onto the shore.

Every stop along this journey has inspired new ideas, fresh perspectives, and plenty of gratitude. The ocean, the redwoods, the winding roads, and the quiet moments together have been exactly what we needed.

Tomorrow, we'll continue exploring this beautiful coastline and see where the road takes us next.

Wrapping it up in Monterey

Yesterday marked our final day in Monterey, and what a beautiful way to close this leg of our journey.

We spent the morning hiking through Point Lobos, and it was absolutely breathtaking. The rugged coastline, crashing waves, and peaceful trails showed us once again how incredible California's coast truly is.

Later, we visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which was lovely and well worth the experience. Seeing the marine life up close gave us an appreciation for the ocean we enjoy.

Of course, we couldn't leave without one last stroll through Cannery Row. We wrapped up the evening with dinner at the Whaling Station. While the atmosphere was nice, we found it a bit overpriced for what was served. As restaurant owners, perhaps we see things through a different lens, but we would give the food a solid 4 stars.

The biggest takeaway from Monterey was the time spent together. Between Point Lobos, Big Sur, Carmel-by-the-Sea, 17-Mile Drive, sea otters, sea lions, and deep conversations, this stop gave Todd and me exactly what we needed: time to reconnect, reflect, and simply enjoy the journey.

Today we head north to Mendocino and Schoolhouse Creek. The road continues, and so does our adventure.

Bixby Bridge/Big Sur/ Santa Cruz/Cannery Row

We started the morning with an early drive into Big Sur, over the Bixby Bridge. We made our way to McWay Falls and then a wonderful breakfast at the Big Sur Inn. Super quaint Inn with an adjacent dining room. The owners did a great job, this place was built with love and intention. The menu was fresh and eclectic. On a whim, we continued on to Santa Cruz, where we finally got some amazing footage of the sea lions. We walked the boardwalk and it reminded me of Sea Side Heights in Jersey. We were not overly impressed with the vibe, we like less crowds and a slower pace, but glad we ventured over.

We made our way back to Cannery Row and enjoyed a magnificent dinner and cocktails at The Fish Hopper overlooking the bay. And, true to form, I couldn't help but come home with another menu idea for Bellas! Inspiration seems to find me wherever I go. "The Big Sur" will be presented on our new menu.. it is going to be a unique addition. Between the flavors, presentations, and unique dishes we've experienced on this trip, my sketch book is filling up quickly. Today reminded us that some of life's greatest treasures aren't things at all. They're moments shared with the person you love sharing it all with you. Feeling grateful for every mile, every conversation, every new idea, and every memory being made.

Yesterday was one of those perfect days that reminds us why we love to travel.

We started our morning with breakfast at From Scratch in Carmel-by-the-Sea, enjoying breakfast, visiting the local Farmer's Market, and taking in the relaxed coastal atmosphere. From there, we wandered through the charming boutiques and hidden courtyards that make Carmel so special. I love the vibe here, and there were quite a few young ones, that where very curious about the ducks in my jeep. I handed out a few. One child, probably 4 years old, asked if my JEEP was electric or gas... too cute!

One of the highlights of the day was driving the iconic 17-Mile Drive. The scenery was breathtaking, with dramatic coastline views, towering cypress trees, and the endless blue Pacific stretching as far as the eye could see. We stopped at Pebble Beach and had the opportunity to see the famous finishing hole of one of the most celebrated golf courses in the world. Some of the homes on this stretch, were brilliant!

Later, we visited Fisherman's Wharf, where we watched the sea lions put on a show. Their barking echoed across the harbor, and although we spotted several sea otters floating offshore, they proved too camera-shy for me to capture. I will try again today.

We spent time walking the beach, soaking in the ocean air, sipping wine, and grazing on fresh ceviche, oysters, and clams. The weather could not have been more beautiful.

Todd and I are blessed for a reminder to make time for each other, to explore, and to embrace the beauty that surrounds us.

We are grateful for every mile, every memory, and every moment of this adventure.

So many emotions surround this road trip and this season of our lives. We feel incredibly blessed to have carved out this time together and to capture these moments along the way.

What makes this journey especially meaningful is that these road trips began nearly ten years ago, after the loss of my beautiful mother,  Mia Bella Mamma.

What started as a way to heal, reflect, and honor her memory slowly became a tradition for Todd and I. It became a chance to step away from life's demands and reconnect with one another.

Our first stop, Paso Robles, was the perfect bridge into the journey ahead. The 10 hour drive gave us a chance to catch up.

The accommodations at Allegretto have been absolutely wonderful, but what has meant the most is the gift of time: time for conversation, reflection, and reconnection. Long overdue and craved.

Dinner at Sabor & Sazon was a highlight of the evening. One dish immediately inspired me—a caramelized pork belly served over a lemony arugula salad with shaved Parmesan and pine nuts. Don't be surprised if a version of that finds its way onto the Bellas menu this fall.

Life has a way of moving quickly. Between the restaurant, responsibilities, and the challenges that inevitably come our way, it's easy to forget how important it is to simply be present with one another. This trip is serving as a beautiful reminder of that.

As we travel, I carry my mother's memory with me. In many ways, these journeys are still for her, while giving an opportunity to see beautiful places, share meaningful conversations, and appreciate the precious gift of time.

We are grateful for every mile traveled, every conversation shared, and every memory being made. Sometimes the greatest luxury isn't the destination, instead it's having the time to reconnect with the people who matter most and revsiting yourself..

Next stop: Monterey

A different kind of road trip

For quite a few years, following the death of my beautiful Mother, Todd and I began our journey. A kid growing up in the city, I felt the need to see this country from the ground. My love for nature had become insatiable. I needed to see everything of nature, I think we did and are doing a great job. So many changes occurred in me after my mom’s passing. I constantly recognize my changes and…

Day 20: 365 days of Gratitude 2021 While reading a passage from the book, “The Places That Scare You,” by Pema Chodron, she discussed the core of focus; “stay”. When I began my Mindful Breathing, it was extremely frustrating. It was very difficult to focus, I would be distracted by a piece of dust, skipped patch of paint, a crack in the wall, an uneven shade; you name it. I gave up numerous…

Day 14: 365 Days of Gratitude 2021 “The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self.” It took me quite a few years to decipher the difference between religion and spirituality. There is no fine line, however, as a kid growing up in the city, I thought they were the same. My lessons in discipline, back then, were driven by conscience and guilt. Nothing more, not even my…

Day 11: 365 Days of Gratitude 2021 What is forgiveness? There are many circumstances where we may be asked for forgiveness or ask for forgiveness. When I talk about this, I remind myself, a person’s perception is their reality. This becomes a touchy subject, as individual’s we carry our own baggage, and our environment and experiences alter how we handle direct hits to our pride. Some people…

Day 9: 365 Days of Gratitude 2021 fo·cus/ˈfōkəs/ verb (of a person or their eyes) adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly. pay particular attention to. We sometimes starve ourselves emotionally. We allow daily distractions and put needs of others before ourselves. We do this, and ultimately, it results in animosity toward the very things we intended to care…