music matters. words matter. you matter.

this album.. the one my friends + i made up dances to (playing the songs over + over again till we got them down) in our basement, after school. • • •

the one my elementary bff themed her 9th birthday after, that fall. i easily recall balloons + gift bags decorated with the iconic album cover. • • •

the one that soundtracked a weekend with aunt sally + stace + sammy, as uncle kevin took the older boys on a camping trip. i can close my eyes + still see her driving us to buy craft supplies (endless stickers!) in the white car with the sunroof open as the songs play loudly.. • • •

the one we played on repeat (always, but especially) that new year’s eve, as 1999 turned into 2000.. 🎶 • • •

the one i still know by heart, no matter how much time goes between listens. • • •

the one that’s TWENTY years old, today! [ thank you, BSB. we love you on repeat 🔁 ] 🖤

“If you look at Kurt’s journals, it’s quite clear that at an early age he was envisioning success. He was thinking about the band in relationship to all these different other cultures, dominantly influenced and inspired by the the American punk rock of the ‘80s. But [he] also loved bands like the Beatles, ABBA, Cheap Trick, and Black Sabbath. Somehow in his mind, [he] was able to conceive of an iteration of rock and roll that would include all of those things in some seamless way that would also have this intimate connection with young people about what it was to feel like an outsider. It was an extremely complicated undertaking that no one had done before. •

Again what he did, he did on purpose. It didn’t make him happy some of the time, but he had a vision that he executed with an extraordinary amount of sophistication. He continues to represent a certain integrity, authenticity, compassion and soulfulness to people who weren’t even alive when he died. He’s not the only artist who’s done that – it’s true of Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix. It’s a short list, though, and he’s on it. •

He was so good at so many different things. In history there have been people like Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Bowie – he’s not the only [one]. He is the only person in that limited pantheon I was that close to. I have long known that if anyone writes my obituary, it’s going to be ‘Ex-Nirvana Manager Danny Goldberg.’ There is nothing I can ever do that would be as important to the rest of the world. •

I hope [my book] reconnects people with his genius. For example, when I think about Jimi Hendrix, I think about his music. I don’t think about how he died. And I would hope that’s more and more how people will think about Kurt – not his death, but his life. In 27 years, he gave the world a lot. I still think it’s very meaningful. I wished he lived longer, but I’m really glad that he lived.” - Nirvana manager, Danny Goldberg (via - @thequietus)

27: the highlights in the rearview

27 took the brokenness + seeds of 26 + started the blooming.. my goal was to be grateful each day of 27, + i found it easy to journal those things + stay consistent with such an uplifting habit, day by day. sophia bush says that we are “allowed to be a work in progress + a masterpiece, simultaneously,” + this was the year i tried to see that in myself more than ever before.

i started going to counseling, which was a long time coming (more on that a few posts ago..the one with the white lettered @twloha quote). i discovered the moving work of @morganharpernichols, which really speaks to me as a writer, as a pray-er, as a woman, as a 4.. later, i started digging into the ancient ennegram + am still learning what it means to be a healthy, resilient type 4. here’s to learning + growing in that for 28!

i adventured to the UC, downtown chicago, a record 4x, this year—thanks to momma + my beloved @nhlblackhawks, @harrystyles + @kaceymusgraves, + @justintimberlake (x2). what a joy to experience a game with the team + see these records i love dearly come to life before my eyes! 👀 absolute magic.

speaking of, this year, i also found out my best friend would have a baby! we celebrated little leo’s first birthday, this summer + welcomed his first wilson cousin, noelle (ellie), into the world, in december! i can’t wait to watch these littles grow + learn + love them through every hill + valley. : ) also, my job is pretty much fun all the time, thanks to my little buddy + his sibs.. #nannylife 😜

27 summer was filled with an astonishing show after show run. as in, 8 dream come true shows in 14 days!! + also a bunch more.. 🙃 i found myself at home at stadiums + festivals + bar gigs + it still feels unreal, months down the road. 🤩

the highlight reel of my year surely includes shows from @jasonisbell in my hometown (no phones allowed—there was something holy about the silence of the crowd + soaking in every second of his story songs) / traveling for the ones who’ve been in my soundtrack the longest (jon foreman by way of trains + buses + ubers. the maine via last minute fate with fast friends made in the desert.) / getting guest-listed to ruston kelly via a DM from the man himself (another reverent show that breathed new life in me.. my goodness) / winning tickets + a last minute meet + greet with the stunningly sassy @amandashires / my first @30secondstomars gig out under the summer chicago sky.. shannon sang for us live for the first time ever! / somehow, matthew mayfield ended up being flown from AL to a tiny suburban bar down the street from me.. (still in disbelief that’s how i finally got to see him, live.) / we surprised our sibs with @kennychesney tickets, so we could all go to our first show together + tears streamed uncontrollably down my face, when he started to sing. / @foofighters came to wrigley 2 days later + gave us a heck of a night to remember forever.. you need to see them, if you never have! / @lollapalooza is always a big piece of what makes summer my favorite. this year was no exception, as i got to see all my favorites + more over working all four days! / @everyavenueband came back to life for a few nights + i jumped at the chance to experience one of my favorites to scream along to in my high school days. that was insane + so much fun.

i discovered more podcasts + specifically dove headfirst into @daxshepard’s @armchairexpertpod. what a gift he + his guests have been to my mind + my heart + my spirit..so much laughter. christmas even came early, in that we got to see how it all goes down, live at the chicago theatre! a few days later, we found ourselves back at the historic venue for brett eldredge’s sparkling christmas show.

i got to see @themaineband 2x in 2 states that aren’t mine, (again) this year, as we bid farewell to the #lovelylittlelonely era with its funeral in maryland (where they were making the record we’ll hear this spring!) + had a blast venturing to wisco for their christmas/last gig of the calendar year with @alltimelow + friends. life with the maine boys is a grand adventure.. truly, as i’m prepping to fly out to their home state, tomorrow, for all of our first gigs of 2019.. + their 12th birthday as a band—8123 fest: take 2! what a way to kick off 28, as the first one shook up everything in my life for the better + showed me who i really am + who i want to become. it took a solo trip to the desert to grow from my metaphorical one.. 🌵🌸

two thousand + eighteen birthed fantastic records that found me like friends, over + over again. these masterpieces lead me to people + experiences on adventures far better than i could have dreamed. these collections of songs kept me company through the highest highs, the lowest lows + the walking in between of this year marked by hardship + learning, for most of the world. these are the tunes i smiled + screamed + cried + danced to the most, this year. i'm wildly grateful for each artist + the remarkable melody-wrapped memories they've gifted me.

here's to the songs that stay. 🖤

AMANDA SHIRES - "the breeders, if they lived in nashville, or tom petty hitching a ride on ziggy stardust's spaceship"

from the moment i saw @rollingstone's epic write up of amanda shire's new record, i HAD to hear it live. (bowie + petty + breeders? + her dolly-esque vocals? YES.) i'm still in awe of this night of good fortune + the most dreamy music.. it was all that + even more, thanks to the ever-exquisite thalia + amanda + her BAND.. she's a little bit of everything golden about music past, present + future. a glittering force you have to experience to truly believe, + i'm so grateful i did.

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RUSTON KELLY - @rustonkelly's brilliantly heartwrenching harmonica songs break me open while his voice brings tears of joy, all at once.. this 'all the feelings' combination only comes close to my abiding love for ryan adams. last year's record 'halloween' + previous singles ("hurricane in my head" + "halloween") were played on repeat like none other. i'm mostly at a loss for words, post-first-of-many 'dying star' spins.. this project, indeed, burns brightly, ruston. happy release day + thank you for the feelings! congrats on the @rollingstone nod, too.. 4 stars!

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NEEDTOBREATHE - [here are the words that spilled out after my 8th show, nearly a year ago..] when this majestic band of brothers makes their dream come true (tour) + gifts it to your city in one of your favorite rooms.. you bask in the glory + grin the whole dang time. for nearly twelve years, these people have strengthened + silenced me with their songs. thalia hall was poetically built in 1892--the same year as my favorite room 500 miles south of chicago--where i first experienced needtobreathe live.. tonight took me back to that show at ryman auditorium--the beloved mother church of nashville, tennessee. all the years, all the miles, all the tears brought us to all the FEELS! (there has never been a more aptly named tour)! bo + bear + randall + seth + josh, i'm endlessly thankful for you + all you do, individually, to make timeless art. to your families + crew, who deserve lots of love, too. thank you for this incredible, sparkling, energetic, acoustic night. we love you!

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PATRICK DRONEY - [i broke my LP-only rule for this list for patrick + you’ll know why within the first 15 seconds of track one.] dear goodness, i cannot get enough of this brilliantly bluesy, incredibly dreamy EP.. thanks to @sabrina.mhiggins for the heads up (before i saw all of nashville's swooning posts). yall, go ahead + press purchase, cause you won't be stopping once you start.. hoping hard that chicago will be graced with a live show, real soon.

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THE MAINE - the maine’s dreamy acoustic project is out now! it's the MOST magical collection of songs you [should] know from the best arizona emo group. these noisy boys + acoustic tunes are 2 of my very favorite things in the universe.. 2 songs from each album stripped down makes for a heavenly bath/sleep/life soundtrack. it will be a staple for years to come.

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STEVE MOAKLER - ‪i've been ready for ‘Born Ready’ for a long while, now.. it's born + it is fantastic. eight years in + @stevemoakler's songs still surprise me in the best way. his voice sounds as strong + sure as ever. i'm certain these melodies will live long lives. "chesney" made me cry.. (so many memories tied to his music..) despite what you may be hearing in the world, "love will [indeed] have the last word." man, yall, go get this record!‬ steve, each record is truly something to be proud of.. i love them all for the many ways they timestamp my life. this one feels classic from the first spin. i already can't wait to play it over + over again. "you're that midwest girl.. / singin' "i go back" at the top of your lungs / if i could sum you up in a memory.. chesney / one arm around you + the other in the air / a lighter in my hand, baby i'm right there.. / time moves on even when you don't.. / i think about it now + it still gets me.. chesney.."

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‪JAMES BAY - ‘electric light’ is the aptly-named follow up to one of my favorite records ever.. where ‘chaos in the calm’ shone on bay’s stripped-down storytelling, this project flips the switch and shines a light on the other side of all that’s influenced him, primarily as a guitar player. it’s bluesy + bright + brilliant to singalong live.‬

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‪MAT KEARNEY - ‬if you're looking to spice up your playlist, this brand new @matkearney record is “money!” somehow 13 years have passed with this guy singin' much of my soundtrack.. + it never gets old. so far, "kings + queens" (co-write with judah akers of judah + the lion), "fortress" (co-write with trent dabbs) + “money” are my faves.

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SHAKEY GRAVES - 'and the war came' finally has a baby sister!

welcome to the world, 'can't wake up'--i excitedly await the adventures you'll soundtrack for me. @shakeygraves' brilliance shines in a colorful, bold + bright light on this project. the addition of rayland baxter takes these tracks + this band to a new level of dreamy.. i've had this magic in my ears for 24 hours + know it'll stay shiny + mysterious for years to come.

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JASON ISBELL - wherever you are / i hope the high road leads you home again / to a world you want to live in" ‪it's rare, these days, to feel both halves of my heart in the same place.. live music has always been a friend to me, magical in the way it ties them together. ‬

the tivoli is a wonderful (90 year old!) historic room that i loved getting to grow up inside. forever my favorite place to be in DG. honest story songs are at the core of my adoration for the heart of the south. last night was unlike anything i've felt. thank you, @jasonisbell + @93xrt for bringing my heart back home.

these were the words that followed my first isbell show, which also happened to be my first live show of the year. it happened in a small theatre in the heart of my hometown, which extends to my feelings for this live record at the ryman, because that too is a historic room where i find myself most at home. this record manages to capture the glory of both a ryman show + an isbell experience so brilliantly. a must-have on vinyl.

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KACEY MUSGRAVES -

karen fairchild: "the cma award for album of the year goes to.. *opens envelope* for all the little girls writing songs out there.. 'golden hour' KACEY MUSGRAVES!" • • • "this is really, really crazy timing, because i realized this morning--it sounds like a lie--ten years ago TODAY i moved to nashville. ...we poured everything we have into this + i'm so proud of it. it's inspired by this beautiful universe, all of you, most of all love." - km • i welled up when i passed a mural of this record in chicago, this spring, thinking back to stepping on a bus home from nashville + downloading this brilliantly brave texan queen's debut album in 2013. kacey's sassy, sparkling songs carry me from one adventure to the next.. 'golden hour' reached new horizons beyond the country community without straying from her roots. you can probably guess that i cried when karen said kacey's name.. every ounce of her love + creativity flows free as soon as you press play, so i hope you'll feel the magic of all the colors with me.

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BØRNS - on ‘blue madonna’—the follow up to 2015’s dynamic ‘dopamine’—børns’ productions orchestrate a fabulous collision of nostalgia and futurism. he wears the sugary glam of an ethereal cross between bowie + elton john. “the weird + the wonderful” transporting brilliance shines best in a BØRNS live show, but the magic comes through in these recordings, too.

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DIERKS BENTLEY - “i’m a little bit steady / but still little bit rollin’ stone i’m a little bit heaven / but still a little bit flesh and bone little found, little don’t know where i am i’m a little bit holy water / but still a little bit burning man..” @dierksbentley + @brothersosborne deliver a fiery, fun track to kick off this blazing summer weekend. blending his bluegrass background + current country sound, dierks penned a true passion project for telluride that’s solid from start to finish.

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JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - ‘man of the woods’ is JT’s fatherhood album. he takes us all back to memphis, tennessee + reaches through his vast music history + influences. this album is strong in stories + southern vibes.. i loved it so much, i got to experience it live twice, this year. everything about this show makes it must-see.. the setlist, the production, the lighting, the band, the dancing, the campfire, the vocal-acrobatics of THE man of the woods.. (Justin Timberlake) every single detail. it's unreal, yall. have you ever seen an arena become this gorgeous?! i hope they make a doc of this tour, cause the last one was truly epic.. but this one, you really do have to see to believe it. i'm in awe..

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SHAWN MENDES - i cannot say enough good things about @shawnmendes' new record. more words coming, but for now, please enjoy this photo of him opening for @taylorswift on the 1989 world tour in chicago. he wore @jonathantoews' number, as it was a big summer for @nhlblackhawks in 2015. with just an acoustic + that magnetic voice, a sixteen-year-old mendes held the attention of earlybirds throughout the 60,000 seat stadium. i trust @johnmayer implicitly, when it comes to music, + he's a solid fan + friend of shawn's. plus, he plays on "like to be you.” and, back to the self-titled album i go..

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DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE - this album sounds like the driving. like a scenic summer sunday afternoon spent with a perfectly peaceful, yet artistically intriguing soundtrack. you need it in your life.

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"you have to work backwards from 'you're alive. you're gonna be here for awhile. you have to get to a point where it's going to be okay. even if it's shitty, you have to find a way to make the answer that everything's going to be okay..

the sickness + the sadness that you feel is from the disconnect between the world itself--in this current incarnation being completely full of shit + because you're not full of shit.. it's an illness to your brain, from living in the world that has so much intellectual, spiritual + emotional interference.. that's not who we are! part of me believes that perhaps the world stage is too big a stage to dance on for us--these little tiny simple people who want acceptance, who want admiration (in one way or another), who want to be invited to the party. the are essentials have been overlooked. we want company, we want encouragement, we want to feel like the ride is worth it.. you really are going against the grain + a lot of biology if you believe the brain can withstand so many hours of cognitive dissonance..

"no album in recent history had such an overpowering impact on a generation." - @rollingstone // "oh well, whatever.." 🎶 'nevermind' is 27! thank you, kurt + krist + dave + butch vig.. music was never the same, after you. 🖤 "When I listened by to the recording I thought it came out great. I knew they had written some amazing songs and I thought we captured them well, but I was already starting to focus on my next project. I was back in Madison and the Smashing Pumpkins came in to finish some B-sides at Smart. They were there on the 4th of July so we had a barbecue. At one point somebody said, “Hey, put that Nirvana record on.” I had a cassette of it, so I put it on the boombox on the picnic table in the backyard. There were 30 or 40 people there and while it was playing no one said anything. It sort of made me nervous. It ended and someone just said, “Play it again!” And during the second run through someone said, “Oh my God, this is going to change the world.”

I said, “Really? It’s a good record, right?” I think people were starting to hear something that I couldn’t be objective about. ... Then they played a show at The Metro in Chicago.. There was an insane buzz in the air. The started out with a cover of the Vaselines and it was like Beatlemania. It wasn’t even their song, and there were people in the audience crying and freaking out. That was the first time I realized the record was going to take on a life of its own. And it changed my life completely." - Butch Vig (producer/engineer)

"smells like teen spirit" is 27, like me + kurt, today.. 🎂

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"The song that blew up the world. The song that defied all rules about how music worked and how much raw emotion you could cram into four cheap chords and a crummy guitar solo. The song that kicked the future in the teeth. The song that shattered all your complacency about settling for the politics of the inevitable. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was Kurt Cobain's challenge to the audience – and after all these years, the challenge still stands." - @robbiesheff @rollingstone •

"Producer Butch Vig first heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in early 1991, on a boombox cassette recorded by bassist Krist Novoselic, drummer Dave Grohl and singer-guitarist-songwriter Kurt Cobain in a barn in Tacoma, Washington. The fidelity was abysmal. Vig — about to work with Nirvana on their major-label debut, Nevermind — could not tell that the song would soon make underground Seattle rock the new mainstream and catapult Cobain, a troubled young man with strict indie-culture ethics, into megacelebrity. "I could sort of hear the 'Hello, hello' part and the chords," Vig said years later. "But it was so indecipherable that I had no idea what to expect."

Nor did anyone else. A shock wave of big-amp purity, "Teen Spirit" wiped the lingering jive of the Eighties off the pop map overnight. "The song was a call to consciousness," Novoselic said in 2000 — Cobain's avenging grenade against the corporate invasion of youth culture, spiked with the demanding venom of the sneering chorus: "Here we are now/Entertain us." The phrase was something Cobain used to say at parties — "to break the ice," he said. "That could have been him watching TV," said Novoselic, "aghast at popular culture."

@judahandthelion--the band with the kindest hearts + the folk-hop-iest sound released their first LP into the world, four years ago, today! after a magical @thaliahallchicago show with @theohhellos, judah's eyes lit up as he asked if @llittlebiird + i (#merchgirls) wanted to see the forthcoming album art.. (we said yes). : ) 'kids these days' was a huge turning point for the trio, as they broke boundaries--blending their combined influences to go from a subtle folk / singer/songwriter sound to one all their own, dubbed 'folk hop n roll.' this collection of songs (+ then the ones that followed) has taken me on so many adventures.. in fact, a year ago, (at time of writing) i was on a bus to tennessee to see the guys headline the ryman. it was special in all the ways you'd expect, if you've had the pleasure of a J+tL / ryman / or both experience.. + then in ways few audience members saw coming (in the form of sweet friends: ben on drums, @stevemoakler + @needtobreathe-- longtime favorites!). i didn't know that this would be the last time i'd get to see spence play with his brothers, but i'm truly grateful for all the good times these guys + their songs have gifted me. music is medicine in that it connects us beyond comprehension + reminds us we're never alone. happy birthday, 'kids these days!" thank you for all the memories (a few of the above, if you swipe through 😜) you've afforded me + so many more. 🖤

ps - i'm sure you're enjoying moon river fest (!!) + studio time (LP3!!), but chicago misses ya. : )

this isn't about politics or policy, but about brotherhood that goes beyond bloodlines (race, generation, party).. so beautifully personified in McCain asking Bush + Obama (his "rivals") to eulogize him, + in the way they did it so well.

"[John + I] would sit + talk in the oval office, just the two of us.. we enjoyed our time together away from the bright lights. we laughed with each other + we learned from each other. we never doubted the other man's sincerity or the other man's patriotism. or that when all was said + done we were on the same team. we never doubted we were on the same team."

"isn't that the spirit we celebrate, this week? that striving to be better? to do better? to be worthy of the great inheritance that our founders bestowed?"

"today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. but what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today. (Hemingway)"

"God bless John McCain + God bless this country he served so well." - Barack Obama