( WILDFLOWER )

Jack laughed a little through his nose before he shook his head. “Well, you must be more of an expert then because I unfortunately seemed to be the most embarrassing one most of the time when I was in school.” Honestly, he wasn’t the best with talking himself up. He probably talked himself down more than anything. He’d been told once or twice that it wasn’t the way to pick up girls and maybe they were right since it hadn’t worked too well so far. To quote others, it was good he had his looks.

❝Well, then, I hate to say this to you, mate - your classmates sound like wankers.❞ Doe smiled, hoping such a comment wasn’t too brash to make. She normally tried not to think twice about such things, but this was one of the first conversations she’d had in weeks that wasn’t about fighting off all the forces of evil. Of course it helped that Jackson seemed like a genuinely nice guy, which was a rare find in a pub, and honestly rather comforting. It crossed her mind that he seemed like the listening type, the understanding friend who would support and defend you no matter what may have happened, the way Mary was - and she suddenly couldn’t help but smile.

“Satan? Now, wouldn’t it be so easy to blame everything on the likes of him” she chuckled as she moved to the bed, sliding in right beside the girl as her eyes found themselves staring at the ceiling before her, “see, I knew that becoming an Auror would be difficult and full of hardships and what not and now that I’m finally here– I still get no sleep. Which I shouldn’t be complaining about, really … it’s for a good cause, I know but the paperwork is astoundingly high and tedious and every time I get home – I never make it to the bed, I always collapse on my bloody couch and well, it’s infuriating” she huffed, a pout lingering at her lips. 

❝Paperwork?❞ Doe asked, her voice raising at the end of the word as if it were unfathomable. ❝I figured there’d be some, but no one ever said anything about that much of it, Merlin,❞ she said, scrunching up her face in sympathy. ❝You’ve every right to complain. I’d’ve complained so much that Mary would’ve put a hex on me, to be honest. Can you take the paperwork home with you? They can’t possibly expect you to function when you’re not sleeping right. Clearly I can vouch for that, look at us.❞

“You were always strong. It wasn’t only the fact I spoke with you that picked you up off that floor. But I was always willing to help. I won’t lie about that.”

❝ Yeah, well, if it weren’t for you, I think things would have been a lot harder. Not many adults were being completely honest with me then, because they were afraid of stepping on my toes, but you were. I don’t think I’ve ever properly thanked you for that. ❞

“Isn’t it a little too early for philosophizing?” he chuckled, leaning back onto his elbows and exhaling slowly. Pausing, he chewed his bottom lip in thought. “I think,” he began slowly, “it’s all about intention. Anyone can go and do something bad, but it…” His voice trailed off, mind involuntarily flooded with memories of school. Peter. He still didn’t understand it, still couldn’t even begin to comprehend what could have happened had Regulus opted out of betrayal. Shaking the painful thoughts from his mind, he continued. “Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone does bad things from time to time…goodness and darkness isn’t binary, it’s a spectrum, and people fall all over the place. But how you react to what you may have done is what sets you apart, on all occasions. I think,” he finished uncertainly, eyes trained on the ceiling. “Why do you ask?”

[ DOE LISTENED TO REMUS’ SLOW AND CALMING VOICE, AND PART OF HER WONDERED WHY EXACTLY SHE HADN’T SOUGHT HIS COUNCIL BEFORE. IT DIDN’T TAKE HER LONG TO REMIND HERSELF OF THE HARSH REALITY: HE DESERVED BETTER. THE FACT OF THE MATTER WAS THAT REMUS WAS WOULD BE INFINITELY MORE TROUBLED ABOUT THE BETRAYAL OF PETER THAN DORCAS,AND IN THE END, PETER HAD STILL BEEN ONE OF REMUS’ BEST FRIENDS. IT DIDN’T MATTER WHAT DOE THOUGHT OR FELT. EVERY PART OF HER FELT RESPONSIBLE. SHE'D BROUGHT PETER IN. SHE’D BROUGHT BETRAYAL. REMUS KNEW THAT. AT THE TIME, SHE WANTED TO KILL PETER. SHE COULD HAVE. SHE DIDN’T, BUT EVERY FIBER OF HER BEING WANTED TO. SHE’D THOUGHT ABOUT IT. NOBODY KNEW THAT. ]

“Cheers,” he said, lifted up his glass before he too a drink himself. He shrugged a little when she mentioned being afraid of knowing what kind of girls he normally meets in pubs. Honestly, he didn’t think about it too much…and come to mention it, he didn’t meet too many girls. “Honestly, I’ve not met too many girls to have a general theme with them. I just mean I’m usually embarrassing so it’s normal to me.”

Doe raised her eyebrows, almost as though she didn’t want to believe him. ❝Well, that’s a downright shame. I can honestly say that you’re not embarrassing - and trust me, I’ve met an outstanding number of embarrassing people, went to school with most of them. Handsome and gentlemanly to boot - if that’s the case, I’d say I’m one of the luckier ones.❞ She was a terrible flirt, she knew - flirting wasn’t exactly something she’d bothered to learn when she was still in school, which would have probably been beneficial - but she was a good flatterer. Besides, this allowed her to keep her mind occupied, well away from where it had been that morning.

Mary watched Dorcas fidget with her hand in her lap. She had a hunch that her friend’s mind was working a mile a minute which was probably true. They were impeccably close and not just because they’d lived in the same flat for a few years now, if fact it was why they were living in the same flat in the end. There were times where Mary could almost swear they were communicating telepathically. So, Doe hadn’t even had to really say what was on her mind for her to have a guess about what it was about.

[ IT WAS RARE, REALLY, TO HAVE A FRIENDSHIP LIKE DORCAS HAD WITH MARY MACDONALD. THEY UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER IN WAYS THAT DOE HADN’T PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED POSSIBLE, AND NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID SHE IMAGINE SHE’D FIND SOMEONE WHO OFTEN UNDERSTOOD HER BETTER THAN SHE UNDERSTOOD HERSELF. ALL THE NUANCES, ALL THE HABITS - WHEN ONE HAD A BAD DAY, THE OTHER DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO ASK. THEY WERE ALWAYS READY WITH SOLUTIONS, SOLACE, WHATEVER THEY MIGHT NEED. DOE DID NOT BELIEVE IN GOD, BUT IF SHE DID, SHE WOULD HAVE THANKED HIM EVERY DAY FOR MARY. ]

“There’s nothing to forgive in that. It comes with the profession besides. I know I could be a little harsh in some cases as well. Even if it wasn’t most of my life though, I find it hard to imagine not working there any longer. It became a routine. Not much to do with the threat of Death Eaters ready to kill me or even anyone associated with me while teaching.”

❝ Yeah, but if it weren’t for you, where would I be now, hm? Probably still alone, bleeding and crying in a Hogwarts hallway in the dead of night. So. ❞

Remus settled himself onto the bed beside her, running a hand though his hair with a yawn. Being an early riser made him feel more productive, especially on days where missions were few and far between. Looking out of the windows from the inside only made him more anxious, feeling more trapped, like he should be doing something, even though he knew waiting was an equally important part of the game. “I’d be offended if you thought you couldn’t,” he offered with a smile before fixing his eyes on the hardwood. “Weird and vague is my specialty.”

[ DOE SMILED AND NODDED, TAKING A GENEROUS BITE OF THE BREAKFAST HE’D SO THOUGHTFULLY PROVIDED. IT WAS MORE THAN SHE WOULD HAVE DONE EVEN FOR HERSELF, BUT THAT WAS OUT OF PURE MORNING LAZINESS; MAKING BREAKFAST ANY TIME BEFORE NOON WAS JUST TOO MUCH EFFORT. SHE SMILED AT HIS ASSURANCE AND PLAYFULLY PUNCHED HIS ARM. ]

Hearing the familiar voice, his head shot up but he regretted it straight away as he placed it back down. Great, this was going to get him into a lot of shit with everyone, he wasn’t supposed to be an animagus, an illegal one at that so a part of Sirius hoped that Doe would at least find it in her heart not to rat him out once he found the strength to turn back, luckily for her he struggled to get up so he just lay there for now, listening to her voice. 

Two thoughts ran through Doe’s head simultaneously as the dog looked up at her, and her own eyes fell back on his wound: 'He’s docile as a kitten’ and ‘this dog needs help, now’. Sirius would be just fine on his own for a little bit longer, she decided, and scratched the dog gently behind the ears. “I’ll be right back,” she said, standing quickly and jogging to the back of her car. She pulled open the trunk and took off her coat, laying it down over the paneling. The task was simple enough: get him on a dry surface, heal his wounds to the best of her ability, take him home, and figure it out from there.

He laughed a bit before he shrugged. “Well, I’m not usually one to commit a crime, so all my features will stay.” He would try his best not to turn a comment like that into a “I just revealed too much about myself” moment and leave it at light hearted joking. He shook his head and her other statement. “I don’t think you’re making a fool of yourself.” Actually, the opposite. She was being adorable in a way and a way he understood. He definitely was the least smooth person he knew.

❝Oh yeah? Well, good, neither am I. Cheers to being crimeless,❞ she smiled, taking a drink just as he made his next comment - which she quickly regretted as she felt the desire to laugh well up into her throat. She put her hand over her mouth and forced herself to swallow her drink before she finally laughed, shaking her head. ❝Seriously? If this isn’t foolish, I’m afraid to know what kind of girls you generally meet at pubs, because this... is just getting more and more embarrassing. I’m digging myself into a hole.❞

Mary let out a light nose laugh at the statement as she sat back further on the bed and crossed her own legs. “But we’re all weird,” she said before she shook her head. “But I know what you’re getting at. I don’t know if things aren’t feeling right or if they’re fine. Everything’s so complicated right now.” Why did they have to all grow up?

[ DORCAS’ HANDS FIDGETED IN HER LAP AND SHE NODDED. COMPLICATED WAS PROBABLY THE MOST DOCILE TERM THAT COULD BE USED TO DESCRIBE THE CURRENT WEATHER OF THE WORLD. THINGS WERE HORRIFYING, BUT THERE WAS HOPE. THEY KNEW HOW TO WIN THE WAR, THE JUST HAD TO... WIN IT. AND THEN THERE WAS HER OWN GUILT, THE PERSONAL PIT IN HER STOMACH AT WHAT SHE HAD ALMOST BEEN CAPABLE OF DOING - WHAT SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE DONE IF HER PARENTS’ FACES HADN’T FLOATED INTO HER MIND AT THE LAST SECOND. KILLING WAS NO EASY THING, BUT IT ALMOST HAD BEEN. HER STOMACH FLIPPED, AND SHE SHIVERED. ]

“I haven’t given it too much thought. I suppose when this is finished, if Hogwarts wants me back, then I will teach again. But I think there’s more to worry about than that.”

❝ I suppose you’re right. I just keep thinking about it because - well, you know, I can’t imagine a Hogwarts without Professor Perdue. Even though I put you in more difficult situations than you deserved - which, by the way, I hope you can forgive me for. ❞

“Well, surely even unproductive members of society need to eat,” Remus advised knowingly, frame bathed in that natural light that streamed from the dusty window. He’d been tempted to unceremoniously flick on the light but, after seeing the rather defeated look on her face, decided otherwise. “Come now, Doe,” he said, setting a plate of beans on toast atop her beside table. “I know I’m not the best cook, but it’s pretty hard to muck up beans on toast.” 

[ DOE WAS MET WITH THE SMELL OF BEANS ON TOAST AT THE EXACT MOMENT REMUS MENTIONED EATING, AND MUCH AGAINST HER WILL, HER STOMACH GROWLED. SHE SAT UP WHEN HE SET THE PLATE ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE AND GAVE REMUS A HALF-SMILE, THOUGH EVEN SHE KNEW HE DESERVED MORE. IT WAS RARE TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE REMUS IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU COULD CALL ‘FRIEND’, AND EVEN SHE COULDN’T KEEP UP HER BITTERNESS WHILE HE WAS AROUND. IT WAS ALMOST STUPID HOW EASY HE WAS TO TALK TO. ]

While Gideon saw no problem in laying in bed for more than two hours after waking up - he’d done that several times in fact - Doe’s silence and presence worried him. It was rare to see her so quiet and secluded, so with a slow, discreet pace, he approached the witch and leaned on a nearby wall. It was evident that the source of her problems was something he should not mess with, seeing as it seemed past delicate, so he remained silent for a few minutes, putting together the words he thought could work before speaking.

[ DORCAS WOULD HAVE BEEN LYING IF SHE SAID SHE WASN’T SLIGHTLY RELIEVED TO SEE AND HEAR THAT HER VISITOR WAS GIDEON PREWETT. HE, AT THE VERY LEAST, WAS THE PINNACLE OF CHIVALRY, AND ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE WHO WOULD TRY TO FORCE HER INTO SOME KIND IF IMPROMPTU THERAPY SESSION. SHE HALF SMILED AS HE SPOKE, ALLOWING HERSELF THE PRIDE TO AT LEAST SIT UP AND CROSS HER LEGS. ]

“Alright.” He got them some drinks and set one down in front of him before offering his hand. “Sirius Black.” Without even waiting for an invite, he pulled a chair out and sat down in it. Sirius, in all honesty was trying not to laugh at the boil growing still on his face. 

Doe literally could not handle it for a second more. Jack the Muggle’s dashing good looks aside, he had been nothing but a gentleman when she’d met him earlier, and watching Sirius dick around with a damn boil was... well, it was actually making her feel a little sick. That, above all else, was not a natural phenomenon, nor should it ever be. She got up from her seat and sat herself down on the other side of Jack, offering a strained smile that she knew at least Sirius would understand. ❝Well, look who’s here,❞ she said, slipping her wand out of her sleeve under the bar. If Sirius wanted to keep growing the damn thing, he’d have to fight her for it. ❝The thorn in my side and my new pub acquaintance, how charming.❞

Dorcas laughed, grateful, at least, that he wasn’t the sort to prey on stupid, slightly drunken comments. What’s more, he reacted by cracking a joke. ❝Oh, it’s more than just not worth it,❞ she said. ❝It would be a damn crime. People aren’t just born with features like that, they’re blessed.❞ She managed to take another sip of her drink before she realized she sounded like a woman on the prowl, and she suddenly felt the urge to lie down on the floor and weep at her own idiocy. ❝Well,❞ she said aloud, shaking her head. ❝At least I’m making a fool of myself at a pub and not, like, a job interview. That would be typical.❞

Reveal yourself ;Sirius&Doe

"’Go find Sirius,’ they said. ‘It’ll be easy,’ they said. ‘He’s probably just moping around,’ they said.”