Wild Expostulations of a Modern Woman

Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. At the ripe old age of 33, I have finally proved that I have worth in and to society. I have gotten engaged, which means that by society rules I can now engage in societal activities like buying a house, cooking for my husband, nagging him to pick up after himself, complaining to my married friends about said husband, telling my single friends how lucky they are to be single but also being smugly happy behind their backs that I am no longer a single loser because marriage is where the “real happiness” lies (at least until I have a tiny human baby birthed from my loins). Basically, I have now been deemed worthy to exist in adult society with real people who “know what really matters.” 

I love my fiancé and I’m so proud to be marrying him but no more proud than I expect him to be of marrying me. I expect us to be equally up each others’ asses with love and admiration that we can hardly stand each others’ company but this is not exactly some superhuman feat that we’ve accomplished here.

Am I wrong to think that this isn’t something I should be lording over all of humanity? Should I be touting this as an achievement that only the worthy can obtain because it seems like a lot of people do it. Like, millions every year. Like, billions in the history of the world. Literally, any mouth-breathing idiot can obtain a license and get married, so what’s so special it?