Wiki of Miki

I spent 12 years working on the floors of hospitals, nursing homes, jails, clinics, etc.  I was an agency nurse.  I went EVERYWHERE.  Literally over 200 different facilities in 12 years.  Most of them without a scrap of orientation or much help from anyone. 

Here’s how my typical work day went in a nursing home/hospital environment (the majority of my shifts), presented in instruction form:

- Look up directions to wherever you’re working and go there. 

- Walk in and quickly try to find unit that you’ve never been to before in place you’ve never even heard of before.  Remember this layout, because you’ll use it all day.

- Find nurse that just wants to go home after his/her shift to get report from and TRY YOUR DAMNDEST to get all the information you need to know to be functional out of him/her before he/she passes out on you.  Get any weird patient information out of them during report and this ABSOLUTELY includes *HOW* the patient takes their meds (crushed, whole, in applesauce, via G-tube, at a *very specific time, etc).  This also includes any weird bowel protocol items they may have on their MARs with weird-ass facility-specific cryptic code names (trust me, it happens).  Ask them if there’s a treatment nurse or not (I’ll come back to this).

- Hurriedly orient yourself to the unit, your tools (med carts, supplies, garbage, kitchen, etc) and the nearest bathroom (so you can stare longingly at it as you pass it all day).

- Frantically flip through EVERYONE’S MARs (Medication Administration Records, HOLY SHIT AM I ELATED THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING ELECTRONIC) and make notes on a census sheet: which time which patients have meds to give.  Just a time, because you can get more details from the MAR when you go to prep the meds.  This also includes a quick glance to see if there’s anything weird that may be refrigerated or have a privacy-required route of administration.

- Prepare for and perform the med run.  This is seriously the thing that happens RIGHT when your shift starts in a new facility.  You don’t know crap and you have to go almost directly into a med distribution right off the bat.  This isn’t terrible in a hospital setting, because even though it’s still hellish, you don’t have 40+ patients that are used to getting their meds at a VERY SPECIFIC TIME in a VERY SPECIFIC ORDER.  In a hospital, the patients and families can be demanding, but they are in a sort of…time limbo.  They don’t realize what time it is for medication that isn’t related to pain or that isn’t vitally important to keeping them alive.  A residential patient?  On about 2-3x’s as many meds, very used to taking them at a specific time and place in a very specific way.  Oh, and there’s at LEAST 40 of them.  And they’re not in their rooms.  And their meds are all shoved into a cart that is like trying to spelunk into the ruins of a lost civilization for the one med that really needs a note like: “family supplies this, will be in an almost indiscernible bottle in the bottom drawer of the cart, mixed in with the twenty containers of miralax.”    And the residents/patients all want to hate you or manipulate you right off the bat.  You gotta play this fucking mindgame with them to seem competent while you juggle and fumble through the cart or their meds like you’re not losing your damn mind at the idea that you have only a two-hour window to give 40 patients their 20 meds or that you’re probably going to be asked questions that should’ve probably been directed to their doctor (this is the hospital setting more).  (Ideally, staffing wouldn’t be as high as 1 nurse to 40 patients - but, trust me.  Things happen.  I’ve had at least 60 patients at a new place because of situations like call-offs and whatnot.  It happens, even though it isn’t supposed to.)

- Audit the MARs to make sure you didn’t miss a damn thing in the med run and then start gearing up for the next med run.  No joke, it’s that close together.  If you have time in here, you do some documentation here or some treatments (if there isn’t a treatment nurse - which used to typically be the case). 

- Forget to pee or eat or drink.  You’ve been running non-stop since you got in, sleep deprived and crazy.  Just doing what you gotta because that’s what you’re there to do.  You wonder around this time juuuuust how horribly you’re fucking this up compared to the regular staff members.  By now you have all the med carts and door codes memorized, because you’ve had to make some unexpected med-cart departures for items that people didn’t restock or that you didn’t know you’d need. 

- Do that next med run.  Some sort of hell, but always less torturous than the previous.  You’re a goddamned pro by now.  People expect you to remember them after the first med run, because you made eye contact while confirming their identity, so you’re BFF’s now (seriously, you become a pro at remembering names/faces). The first med run is either the morning med run or the post-dinner/bedtime run.  So, this one is either throwing out PRN (as needed) sleeping pills like candy or it’s about 1/3 the quantity of the morning run - but for the lunch pills.  (Think of it this way, if you take it once a day: odds are good it’s in the morning.  If you take it twice a day: Odds are good it’s in the morning and the evening.  You see where I’m going with this….to get it happening at lunch, you usually have to be taking something at least 3x per day, which isn’t as common.  Granted, there’s some things that only happen at lunch, but: outliers, people.  Let’s get back to this hell.)

- Document, document, document, contemplate how easy it would be to just walk out while DEFINITELY getting talked to too long by SOMEONE about SOMETHING that you have *ZERO* influence or control over.   So, basically: have your time wasted - when it is oh, so precious.  Learn to be really good with ignoring people while looking like you’re listening.  You can even respond robotically and they usually don’t notice.  Occasionally through in a mini-speech about how jacked-up the medical system is.  You’ll be fine.  Shove some snacky items in while that person is complaining or while you’re documenting.  It’s the only chance you’ll get - even though you’re supposed to be taking a 30 minute break at some time in your 12 hours.

- Basically, this continues and by the end of the day you realize you’ve peed once, but drank the equivalent of a 2 liter of water.  You rush to the bathroom and then while sitting: run through EVERYTHING you were supposed to do.  Realize you forgot someone’s treatment or to turn off their nebulizer or whatever and run out of the bathroom to resolve that.  

-Relax because you realize that you’ve got it all under control and you somehow managed to get a better report prepared for the next shift amidst all that chaos than the one you were presented and await your sweet release from that hell.

- Receive compliments on your performance and a job offer to come on staff full-time.  Be told at this point that SOMEONE was supposed to help you out a little, but you were fine without them, right?  :P

Anyhow, this was the majority of my nursing shifts for at least a solid 10 years of my nursing career.  Granted, after a day of that at one place, going back to the same place for another day or two was a CAKEWALK…and by day three, you’d seem like you’d worked there for years.

The reason that this happens is because you have to be ON POINT.  On your damn game to be a self-sufficient staff member that blends in seamlessly into what happens on a daily basis without you.  You are acutely aware of everything that is happening and you are amped the hell up.   The nurses that work there full-time are in a routine and don’t have to blink an eye to do their job sufficiently.  You wind up being a positive influence on wherever you work, because you’re giving 200%. 

I thought that giving up (what had to have been) a ridiculous amount of stress by switching to a desk nursing job would make my life better.  For the last three years I had convinced myself of that. 

The moral of this post is that it took me three years to realize just how much I needed that stress in my life.  I was active.  I was mobile.  I had other people’s issues to Sherlock, so I didn’t fixate on myself.  I was CONTRIBUTING POSITIVELY TO PEOPLE’S HEALTH.  Now, my health has suffered.  I LIVED FOR THAT SHIT.  I got all the “you’re awesome” affirmations I needed just by being good at my job. 

So, while the thought of being a floor nurse again is the most terrifying idea I can imagine - I’m beginning to brainstorm how to incorporate it back into my life in the upcoming years. 

If I were a hacker, I would spend my time subtly editing websites that disguise themselves as credible and then go into things like, "if you just take these herbal supplements, you will no longer have teh cancerz!" or similar.

It kills me to read this drivel that suggest treatments/cures that aren't only not proven to work, but some actually completely disproved to work for: common ailments, serious ailments, mental conditions and more.

It's one thing to say "It may work for you!" and another, ENTIRELY EVIL, thing to say that yes, something that we have nothing other than anecdotal evidence (AKA people SAYING it works - which could be anything: actually working, them lying, them lying to themselves, placebo effect, etc) for is DEFINITELY going to work to cure what ails you.

Nothing sends me into a rage more than that nonsense. We are in a day and age where we have the means to easily and accessibly perform scientific, evidence-based tests to determine if a statement is true, untrue, negligible, etc.  

I understand (more than many) the need to find a cure, find a treatment, find relief.  I understand the desperation that is involved with those things.  I've read those bullshit sites and hoped they were true beyond all hope.  Hell, I've even promoted supplements to people suffering from various conditions.   

The difference between me and these Snake Oil, PhDs that are pushing their propaganda?  I say, "I've seen some peer-reviewed studies that show that X can actually treat Y.  So, it's possible it won't work.  But, it won't harm anything to try as there are no side effects that could be troublesome."  

What I did there:

Actually based my statement on evidence-based research that I can supply links to.

Disclaimed that it may not work.

Researched the supplement/etc. to ensure that it's safe to give without any side effects that could cause another condition or worsen the current condition.

Basically, by doing it my way, I'm not being an asshole.  Being an asshole is telling someone that it will, FOR SURE, work. 

Let me explain why that's being an asshole: 

By telling me that your suggestion will work, you're possibly preventing me from seeking other alternatives that have a better (or even proven) chance of working.  You're possibly causing harm to me financially on something that has no actual evidence of working.  You're causing me to put false hope into something that will never have a payoff, because I'm now certain it will work.  I have no reason to doubt you.  You were honest to me that one time when I asked you if I had a booger, so why would you lie to me about something like this?  You're just trying to help.  

Anyhow.  Yeah.  I'd like to be a hacker, so I could rephrase sites.  

"All of those conditions can be treated with this 60/week package!" would turn into "Spend 60/week on this package and you have the minute chance of treating your condition!"  "This supplement has been proven to treat your condition!" would become, "This supplement has been said by others that it treats your condition!"  Fuck, that last example doesn't even sound that terrible.  I'd give that a shot more than if they said it was proven without linking to any peer-reviewed articles to back it up.  

I would like it so that all credit cards (and ideally all means of payment), regardless of which company offered said card, could be linked to a singular account that has no ability to be exploited (no way to spend/earn via it - perhaps has some way of linking to the cards without the credit card number?).  

This account would be used for the following purposes:

•tracking all spending/purchases and credits on an individual item level

•preventing the need for paper receipts

•expediting returns

  Things that this account would do at a minimum:

•show, classify/categorize and summarize individual items purchased

•show individual item debits and credits

• Provide idiot-proof spending summaries via infographs

Things I would like to see it do:

•Comparison shop to tell you of other places (should you allow it) where you could've saved money purchasing the items (this allows for a fantastic means of advertising that is catered to the user - as long as the user's personal data is masked to the advertisers)

•Track/maintain coupons for places that you shop (Anyone else sick of the embarrassing pile of coupons that are customized to you that print out for hours when you go to Target?) so that when you buy said items - you automatically get the coupon. 

•Have an app that shows you the same data as the site would - but also has a means for quick-coupon viewing (helpful for the advertiser's coupons to be effective)

•More that I haven't thought up yet.

How I envision this working:

Coordination between whomever builds said site, credit card companies and stores.  Perhaps when a transaction occurs by a person who is a member of the site at a store that participates, the transaction response from the credit card company would include the username of the purchaser.  Then, the store could send a data batch periodically through to the site (within 24 hours) with only the purchase data and said username so that the site could update.  This could also expedite the returns for this store, as the purchaser's username would then be on file electronically with the receipts - allowing the store to pull the transaction record up by username. 

I'm happy I'm chubby. No, no, I would prefer being THIN and having curves. Let's not get crazy. I *am* a girl afterall.

After growing up with a little extra fluff on me, it took years to get comfortable with the idea of having it. Was I fat? I wasn't thin. I didn't feel FAT. At least if I were fat, I would KNOW I was fat. This is one of many confusing aspects of being a chubby-chubkins.

It's not all confusing, though. It has many perks. Now to get to the superficial, ego-driven drivel.

Relationship-wise, here's what I think made me a happy chubberina (although not practiced by all other chubkins and is by no-means entirely specific to only chubby chicks - this is just my experience):

- No shocking reveals: You never had to worry that when you take your clothes off, there'd be extra fluff that someone wasn't expecting to find. It's a lot harder to disguise a little extra fluff when you're chubbery, because it's fairly apparent you're not a scrawn. Therefore, anyone going for you knows what they are getting into. If anything, others will expect you to be much bigger than you actually are. (Not to say that you're any less self-conscious disrobed than any girl of ANY size.)

- Boobs: Duh.

- Confidence: You know you're not fat. You know you're not thin. You accept your fate and don't even bother trying to compete with the other chicks. As a result of this lackadaisical approach to situations, you aren't coming off as trying too hard because you just simply aren't playing games. You get to just be you and if it works, it works. Confidence is sexy.

- Ignorance: You train yourself not to expect that chubbliness is anyone's cup'o'tea. So, when the chub-tree bears...well, chubs...you are pleasantly surprised.

- Entertainment: Since you can't play the game if you err on the side of caution and assume you're not in the game, you get the opportunity to observe those who are playing. AND LAUGH. A LOT. This also has the adverse effect of giving you all of the rules of the game - should you ever choose to partake in the game.

- Sensuality: Being soft and not tremendously jiggly (only in the right places, baby) means that you have the advantage on sensuality. You're not all bones when you rub against someone, so doing things slowly and sensually is something your body is just *made* to do.

Downsides to being a chubzilla:

- Descriptive terms in society: Being chubby means that when you're described to potential partners, they're not typically describing you as "Hot". This isn't because they don't think you're hot. It's because it's socially acceptable that the thin are the hotties. I can not even count how many women I know that are lacking mentally, have mediocre-at-best faces and are consistently being referred to as "super hot."

- Body shaper fat-tube: When you're fat, it's obvious you're fat. If you put your tubbiness into a shaper, it slims you. When you're chubby? It takes the little layers of fluff you're sporting and shoves it all into the wrong places. Those curves you enjoy having? Non-existant. Fat tube. That booty you think is fun? Gone. Fat tube. The thin spots that accentuate your hourglassy features? WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GO? FAT TUBE.

- Uncertainty: You never know if you're going to actually be able to cross the line into thin, or if you're a step away from morbid-obesity.

- Other people: Fat and thin people will tell you that you've got an amazing body and that you're being too hard on yourself. Both of these responses are simply in response to calling yourself "chubby." As though stating you're chubby is terrible. These overcompensative reactions make it suck to be chubby.

- Other people still: Lose a little weight? EVERYONE comments. Gain a little weight? Everyone comments about how great you look.

I try to avoid politics.  Not because they’re not interesting to me or because they’re difficult to follow.

I avoid them because they just PISS me off.

It seems like every single scenario that presents itself in politics is so futile and hopeless.  I don’t feel like my voice will be heard or my vote will be counted.  I don’t believe there is *any* way to make that happen.  I don’t really desire for it to be, because it will drown in the sea of ill-educated sycophants that trudge along in their lifetimes and blindly accept what the world tells them.

The sheer amount of people driven by religion, their upbringing and/or their idiocy to advocate and seek law as a means to execute their beliefs upon those who disagree with them is simply staggering. 

If I watch the news, I cannot help but stare in wonderment at the insanity that surrounds us in the political world.  I know I’m not alone, since shows like: The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have a significant following.

I can only hope that the amount of people who are able to evaluate things from more perspectives than their own will grow with time.  I can only hope that the amount of people spewing ‘isms (racism, sexism, “religism,” and various other prejudice-based ‘isms) will decline as the older population (that grew up in a world where being a judgmental asshole to whole groups of people was A-OKAY) dies off.  I can only hope that the number of young people reporting the news with their TROLOLOL-faces on full-display (whenever someone is preaching idiocy) increases with time so that the youth of this world learn to be skeptics of “experts” on topics and learn to question their sources.

The whole system of our “democracy” is just ridiculous to me.  I wish the USA (and the world, even) was ran by the top intellectual minds of every field.  Have people compete to prove their competence and their open-mindedness in a series of tests and interviews, to prove their ability to make decisions on specific topics.  Get a fucking think tank running this bitch.  No more of this high-school popularity-contest bullshit.  You want to be a senator?  PROVE YOUR WORTH AND ABILITY.

Got an issue that is affecting the climate?  Let’s bring in our PROVEN officials from the applicable teams from the biological sciences, social sciences, finances (they’d probably have to have a ton of officials because ERRRRYYYTHING EFFECT THE MONIEZ in government), etc. 

Women’s rights? Medical sciences, finances, etc.

War in another country? Military strategists, Global sociologists, Defense Experts, finances, etc!

Nothing is more nauseating to me than people with the IQ of bricks getting to overpower the say of the lay man on issues because they were voted in to office.  Touting crap all over the news about how it’s wrong to do <a thing> or feel <a thing>, while likely committing adultery, sexually harassing their co-workers, making people feel shitty about themselves and/or while addicted to blow.

I don’t have any desire to have body mutilation performed on me, but that doesn’t mean I care if you do it to yourself.  Hearing someone talk so definitively about a situation like they’re the goddamn authority, when they’re clearly not, is disgustingly ignorant and makes me weep internally until I pick my jaw off the floor and regain control over my digits long enough to hit the “off” button (or applicable means to escape the insanity).

Ever meet someone and think, “HOLY CRAP!  THIS PERSON IS MEANT TO BE IN MY LIFE” and then find out a few weeks later that they are *NOTHING* like they represented?  Sure, we all have. 

How is it that someone is capable of such an impressive first-glance compatibility that we think they are kindred spirits?  Are they magical?  No.  They’re just compulsive liars.

When I was young, I had this best friend.  I used to watch in amazement as she would slather on POUNDS of foundation to cover her absolutely retched skin before we’d go out.  It would take…forever.  I was always thinking, “Maybe if you didn’t wear all of that foundation, your skin wouldn’t be so nasty.”  She’s the reason I don’t wear foundation and wouldn’t wear makeup at all if I didn’t look like I hadn’t slept in a week (really bad genetic dark-circles).

She’s also the reason I am not a fake bitch.

My amazement with her didn’t stop at the slathering of face-spackle.  She had the uncanny ability to act as a succubus at a *very* young age.

I would stare in wonder at how guys were dumb enough to fall for her crap.  She wasn’t intelligent, but could speak eloquently enough that it could pass for intellect.  But, to any critic who probed beyond the surface, it was readily-apparent that she had no understanding of the words she was spewing forth.

What was it that allowed her to convince these men/women that she was so incredible so quickly?  It was her ability to regurgitate ideas and to lie convincingly.

One day, she would meet a new person who was intelligent/interesting.  She’d ask them a ton of questions:

Her: What religion are you?

Them: I’m <Blank> because I feel that it really <huge, drawn out reasons behind religious beliefs>.

Her: Oh, that’s amazing.  What is your favorite movie?

Them: I LOVE <blank> because of <all of the reasons said movie is awesome>.

Etc, etc.

This person wouldn’t be HEAD-OVER-HEELS for her, but just the simple fact that she’d asked them so many questions about themselves made them interested.  But, they were just the set-up to the game.

(Pro tip: Always pretend to be interested in the other person if you want them to be attracted to you.)  (General tip: If someone isn’t asking you that many questions about you but they still want to do you, they may not really care about anything other than your appearance.)

Now, this information that she gleamed from this encounter would not be for naught (heh heh hehehehe).  The next time she met someone that she wanted to impress, this is the conversation that would ensue:

Her: What religion are you?  I’m <answer that last person told *her*> because <reasons that last person told her>.

Them:  **staring in amazement that she had such well-thought out beliefs before answering her**

Her: Have you seen <movie that is last person’s favorite>?  I love it because of all the <stuff the last person said about it>!

Them:  **totally in love because she regurgitated information that was from an intelligent person who has their own opinions**

Obviously, I’m highly simplifying this method.  But, it works.  In lieu of stockpiling information from previous interactions, she would do the simple cold-read style conversation.  The new victim would have something on them that indicated their religion/musical-taste/movie-taste/political stance/whatever.  She would see that and twist her answers to align with their answers.  No one except me (and her) was any wiser…  How would you really know someone was being so sincerely ingenuous? 

Here’s how:

-ALWAYS ask questions:  “You like <band>?  What’s your favorite song by them?”  “Oh, you’re a <religion>? What exactly does that religion believe?”  “You enjoy all of the same activities as me?  What is your favorite <brand of product to complete activity>?  How do you deal with <issue that often arises while performing activity?”

-FACT CHECK those answers if you do not know the answer yourself. 

-If they seem too good to be true? Don’t put any stock in them until after you’ve vetted them.

-Question yourself.  Is your desire to have a friend/partner/whatever overpowering your logic and judgment?

-If they agree with everything you say, stop answering them before they state their opinion and make them state their opinion first.  J

-Be skeptical.  All of the time.  TRUST NO ONE (at least until they give you reasons to).

I must be an alien. 

I can look at things and recognize that the only reason I believe I like something is because I have trained myself to believe that I should. 

We are all societally trained to think that things are fun, boring, attractive, worthwhile, etc.  That’s not lying to yourself, that’s being lied to. 

I realized really early on in life that I was being societally-trained to feel certain ways about certain things.  I actively withdrew from this training and took a backseat in life.  I spent years studying other people’s reactions to situations.  I would interact only enough to keep the studying going or to test my varying hypotheses.  I wrote a sociology book at fifteen and called it “Holes, the Brighter Aspects of Deep.”  Like an index entry, because: Aren’t I a clever fifteen year old?  :P

Anyhow, now that I’m over thirty (GASP!), I realize that I tried too hard at fifteen to disassociate from that training which society was shoving down my throat.  I sincerely don’t like or dislike much of anything. 

Not to imply that I have no emotions, because I didn’t train myself not to feel at all (although I did train myself not to feel toward a lot of things in many regards).    But, I find that I’m just really apathetic about mostly everything. 

I have these moments where I just realize that I’m happy in life because I’ve told myself to let certain things make me happy.  I don’t sincerely *want* those things, I just tricked myself into believing I did.  So, I spend my time aimlessly seeking things that I don’t really give any shit about.

The truth is that I don’t care what I’m doing, as long as I’m doing something.  That’s why I’m indecisive.  I have very little true preferences.  Unless something triggers a thing that reminds me of something I’ve done, I usually don’t crave doing anything.  But, I have to be doing something.

Perhaps this is the root of why I lack true motivation to do things I’m capable of.  It’s not that I don’t *want* to be a <blank>, it’s that I know once I get there, something will remind me of something else that provided me with entertainment or a challenge or something that invoked a response out of me…and I’ll change my mind and want to do that instead. 

However, a some nice side effects of the apathy: great at playing devil’s advocate, great at thinking outside of the box, not easily disappointed in much, pretty chill with whatever is going on, etc. 

Some negative:  I realize that I’m lying to myself and I don’t really care about what I’m acting like I care about, I have to lie to myself, I question *everything* and trust nothing (thankfully not to a paranoid extent, because I just don’t care that much!).

I sometimes question what someone is thinking when they decide to feel anger toward an individual with a lot of sexual experience with numerous partners.  I think one of the contributing factors is the inability to distinguish sex from love.  It is easy to lose respect for an individual if you feel that the two must belong as one.

Our society tries to disparage sex without love to the point that people are sometimes ashamed to admit when they’ve had multiple partners.  As though consensual, romantic interludes between individuals are to be ashamed of. 

Sex is not love.  If you delude yourself into believing as much, you are doing just that, deluding yourself.

This belief is trained into you, it is not inherent into the nature of animals.  To say that you must feel something toward another person to fornicate with them is mostly inaccurate.  You only need to feel the desire to do as much. 

There is no doctrine of humanity that dictates one must know another well, care about or even like another individual before we engage in physical contact with them.

The only attachment you have toward another person is what you let yourself. 

“But, MiiIikkiiiii! You’re wrong!  I didn’t WANT to fall in love with so-n-so-donkey-dong!”  Yes, yes you did.  You are able to recognize that you desire someone and you are able to remove yourself from any situation where you could develop further emotions.  Or, you can jedi-mind-trick yourself to see through the bullshit hormones that your body has traveling about and look at things objectively.  Whatever.

The same can be said about sex.  Let’s look at it from this perspective:  Say you meet someone new and they go out of their way to hug you.   You have just engaged in consensual physical contact with another individual.  Some may look at this situation and think, “Oh, cool, this person is just friendly!” Others may look at this situation and think, “Oh, whoa…this person REALLY likes me!”  It’s all in your interpretation of the experience.

Now, you may be someone who is uncomfortable with hugging people you don’t know and/or care about.  Do you judge those who are comfortable with it?  I sincerely hope not, Judgey McJudgerton.

What if people viewed sex the same way?  “This person is just really friendly and traveled with his wang into my ladyrange!”  Not, “Ooooh, he must really like me because his dangler went into my lovelake!”

That is how it should be.  No assumptions.  People just REALLY like sex.  There has to be no emotion other than: “WANT” involved.  There does not need to be any emotional attachment for release.  There should not need to be. 

CN: Do not confuse sex with love, or you’re dumb.  :D  Do not judge others because of your own emotional baggage that makes you feel that sex is shameful and should be kept to only those you love.

I realized early in life that I respect intelligence.  Not the sort of “I have a PhD from Harvard” type of intelligence, but a different variety.

What I have come to deem as intelligence seems to line up with the *actual* definition of the word.  I respect an individual’s ability to acquire and apply knowledge. 

This sounds straight-forward enough.

I don’t respect people who just go to school.  I always joke that anyone can get a degree if they go to class, do their work, take their tests and PAY for it.  Those people aren’t necessarily good at what they have their degree in…hell, they may not even remember the bulk of their degree (cram it/pass it/forget it)…

Let me expand upon this. 

Say you sign up for a college course.  You attend class every day, study and take your tests.  You get an A.  This, although nothing to balk about, is not what impresses me.  This shows you have dedication, motivation and perseverance.

What impresses me is the inherent, un-manipulated, effortless ability to obtain knowledge.  Say you sign up for a college course (in a topic that doesn’t require TALENT, like the arts).  You attend class 1/3 of the time, you don’t study and you just take your tests.  You get a passing grade.  (Depending on the course difficulty) That impresses me.  Just… knowledge acquisition with minimal effort.  The ability to do this with any class in any field (or just in life in general)…that is the “intelligence” that impresses me.

The type of person who, when slacking, is able to keep up with everyone else.  The type of person who has never done something before and can be trained extremely quickly to be proficient in a job. The type of person who has a mental capacity that is just staggering when you contemplate it.  The person who wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves, “What am I going to do with myself today?” and KNOWS that the only limitation is one they place on themselves…because they could literally accomplish almost anything if they *just* set their mind to it (physical restrictions exempt, of course). 

It is one thing to wake up in the morning and think: “I’m going to become a doctor!” and then try really hard to become one…and another to think with the confidence and knowledge that it’s completely true: “well, I could be a doctor if I wanted to…but I think I’ll play video games and watch porn instead.” 

That being said, intelligence isn’t what makes a person – so if you don’t rank high on the Miki-Intelligence-Factor (MIF) scale, don’t fret.  You *may* have other redeeming qualities.

When it comes to relationships: Never settle.

It sounds like a simple statement, but it is relatively complex. 

When I say "never settle," most people balk at the concept. 

"But, Miki! If I never settle, I'm <going to wind up alone>/<never going to get laid>/<etc>!  You're just being unrealistic! You have to settle on *SOMETHING*!"

No, no you fucking don't.  Also, I'm not talking about people you just have sex with.  That's a whole different ballpark.

One may assume that when I state "never settle" that it means there can be no facet present about an individual that you deem different from what you desire.  No, I do not mean for you to infer that. 

When you begin to date someone, you realize (if you're paying attention) fairly quickly:

- if they do something that *bothers* you (on any level)

- if they don't have a quality that you really want a partner to have

- if they have a personality trait that you don't like

- if they behave in a way that isn't compatible

Things like those do not change.  They do not go away.  They're not like dating the chubby person (bodies are not static, they are quite dynamic...appearances change).  If someone is always interrupting you in conversations in public, they're going to continue doing it.  If someone constantly nags you about things you do, they will always nag you.  If someone guilt-trips you into anything, they will KEEP GUILTING YOU. 

Behaviors wax and wane.  You may tell yourself that someone is capable of change.  Hell, you may even say things like, "I don't like it when you <flatulate in public and blame it on me, while giggling like a junior high schooler>.  Could you not do it?"  Then, for a blissful amount of time, it stops.  You think the problem is over and your relationship is full of joy again.  Sure, if it's something that isn't a vital component of who they are, you may have a shot of it staying away.  However, if it is something a little bigger than public flatulence:

it is likely that they will come to a point where they are no longer cognizant of their actions and the behavior they were trying to suppress is back full-force. 

What you should be asking yourself is: Should my partner or I have to modify our personality or behaviors to accommodate a partner?  Am I so uncomfortable with the idea of being a strong, independent individual that I feel I *HAVE* to settle?  If you think that those are just *parts* of being in a "healthy" relationship, you are wrong. 

Arguments where you get sincerely upset with your partner is *NOT* part of a healthy relationship. Just because it (sadly) is the norm, does not make it HEALTHY.  Take the thing you are having to "compromise" on to "make it work" in your relationship.  Pretend that *thing* is something that one of your friends does.  Not your bestie, just someone you hang out with from time to time. Ask yourself if you would even WANT to hang around that person if they were continually doing that thing. I'm not talking about if you're doing the whole, "I'm a nice person and I'll put up with anything because I accept people for who they are" bit.  I'm talking about if you didn't have to put on an air of politeness and could just wash your hands of someone. 

If you find that you would not *want* to tolerate that facet in just a friend, why would you be okay with that in a relationship?  (As far as I know) You only get one chance at this life...why would you want to waste any time on someone you love, but are not happy with?  It defies all logic.  Stick it out for your (semi-)perfect complement, and you will not regret it.