Safiya Nygaard Sentence Starters
taken from various videos from her youtube channel
“It’s a little early for Christmas, but I guess Satanic Christmas is just a year-round affair.”
“[name] usually waxes my mustache.”
“I did grow my mustache out just for this occasion.”
“It looks like you could maybe cook a hot dog in there.”
“Look at my sideburns blowing in the wind.”
“I’ve got something going on in the bowels, whether it be butterflies or gas.”
“My wingspan is almost identical to that of the turkey vulture.”
“I don’t do anything besides hang out with my boyfriend and my cat, but that’s okay.”
“I think shoulder pads are kinda hot.”
“You know what they say about long feet: long socks.”
“My motto is you can never have too much Harry Potter merchandise, and I will single-handedly prove that motto correct.”
“[name] has resting homicide face.”
“[name]’s been making fun of my dress, but he’s been wearing the same shirt for three weeks.”
“I feel like I’m gonna look sporty and ready for action.”
“I feel like I smell like a hotel room right now.”
“I’m flexing my boob muscles.”
“I don’t think it’s cotton, but it’s nice and soft and I wanna pet it.”
“Love that cat. I wanna just shower him with love that he doesn’t understand and will never know about.”
“I, of course, however, have no idea what I’m doing.”
“For some reason I’m wearing the same shirt as yesterday, I don’t know why I did that. This isn’t necessarily a lucky shirt.”
“All ye who enter here, leave my shit alone.”
“That’s a devil thing, isn’t it?”
“It’s hard to say if my bones feel stronger or my blood feels more iron-y.”
“I’m not exactly sure how that would have come of this, but it did appear very suddenly.”
“I would say that I feel like I need supervision. Why is anyone letting me do this by myself?”
“That doesn’t sound super appealing, but I feel like we’re already this far in, let’s give it a go.”
“I wonder if people are scared if they like give them a bad review, bad things will happen to them.”
“This is a fucking energy drink, bitch.”
“I wonder if this is legal. It feels like a white space, legislation-wise.”
“We’re amongst the boxers. Let’s try and be brief.”
“I can’t vouch for their dental services, but they don’t have wifi.”
“It’s kinda like Tinder, but for psychics.”
“Over here it smells like fruit loops.”
“There are two buckets of candles: candles you stick your face in and candles that stick their face in you.”
“I’m going to go up to strangers and ask them to smell my candle.”
“I guess we’re just going to take a leap of faith. Sort of like marriage, I guess.”
“Congratulations! It’s a lump!”
“You might want to wash your hands at some point.”
“I kinda like petting this, it feels very nice.”
“I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is more bell sleeve.”
“Do your sleeves hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?”
“It’s not horrible, but it’s not awesome.”
“It was being rejected by the rump.”
“I’m crying, not from joy, but from wind.”
“I’m fine emotionally. Financially, unclear.”
“Don’t tell me how old I am.”
“That’s is why we don’t throw things away. It’s because you give a Shakespeare sonnet every single time.”
“All roads lead to IKEA.”
“Mark my words: it will be laminated.”
“He thinks I’m just a giant goose.”
“I got groped by Wolverine.”
“I feel like the inside of a nice casket.”
“Your skin is your largest organ, so you might want to be nice to it.”