We took a table on the bus.

Sweet angel no

Can we all just appreciate the fact that this cutie just fell down the stairs but still immediately got up so excited like he just had a great time falling down the stairs? Like I want to handle bad things as well as this puppy does

i just heard my mom yell and ran across the house because i thought she was hurt, but she was actually just excited because she saw a very fat bird outside 

update: she called him a “pompous little man” because he shit in one of the old flowerbeds 

I don’t care why, this is hysterical.

ladies dont start fights, but they can finish them.

that is a cat with a hairbow how is that relevant to the caption

Uncultured swine

coke and pepsi taste different because coke was invent before refrigeration so it was designed to be drunk warm, while pepsi was designed after refrigeration was invented so it was designed to be drunk cold. as a result the tastes are different but if you drink pepsi cold and coke warm theyll taste the same.

Why the fuck do you know this

Had they never seen green tea?

i dont even know if green tea was invented in 1886 but they wanted to make the public more open to eating the fizzy drink

Green tea was invented in the 13th century and made up 22% of the tea thrown off the ship in the Boston Tea Party 

alan i know about soda not green tea

yes I know I’m sorry I was late but I put lotion on right before I left and it took me 20 minutes to get the door open

your signature has to be a unique identifying mark right? is there anything saying it has to be a scribbled version of my name??

I checked and apparently there’s nothing that legally says your signature has to match your legal name. it’s on.

@jonhnystorm

Leaving your bed in the morning

i love women. in the feminist way and in the gay way. happy international women’s day

mutuals meeting me irl