i wanna see kaz be medium/slightly below average height (around 5’6-5’7). i wanna see him with a yellow, almost green hue to his skin. i wanna see him with pox scars along with battle scars. i wanna see him with uneven hair because he can’t let anyone else close enough to cut it for him. i wanna see him be lean but muscular. i wanna see him with his R tattoo.

i wanna see inej be tiny (4’11 AT MOST). i wanna see her with actually brown skin, not just slightly darker white. i wanna see her with the broad shoulders and thick thighs and all the musculature of a trained gymnast. i wanna see her with hair slicked back with tons of gel and hairspray like a dancer. i wanna see her with a flat chest and little to no curves (as was described in the books). i wanna see her with calluses on her hands and feet.

i wanna see nina be tall (around 5’11). i wanna see her with fat rolls. i wanna see her with wide hips and a chest that gives her back pain. i wanna see her with flabby underarms and stretch marks on her legs and torso. i wanna see her with central heterochromatic eyes. i wanna see her with the body language of someone who was trained to be a soldier since childhood. i wanna see her with wavy but not curly hair. i wanna see her with beauty marks scattered all over her body.

i wanna see matthias be reasonably tall (6’0-6’3). i wanna see him with big muscles, especially on his upper half. i wanna see him with light skin and even lighter hair. i wanna see him with battle scars and wolf bite scars. i wanna see him with burn scars from the fire that destroyed his village. i wanna see him with a triangular shoulder-to-waist ratio. i wanna see him with the faintest of faint freckles across the bridge of his nose.

i wanna see jesper be unreasonably tall (6’5-6’8). i wanna see him be lanky and long-limbed. i wanna see him with the muscles of a farmer. i wanna see him with calluses on both his hands. i wanna see him with battle scars and the scars one gets from horses and cows and farm-related incidents. i wanna see him with cherry blossom and jurda bloom tattoos. i wanna see him with a wide nose and plump lips. i wanna see him have little to no curve from his shoulders to his waist to his hips. i wanna see him with stretch marks from growing so tall so fast. i wanna see him with big hands and feet. i wanna see him with his mother’s dark skin and his father’s freckles.

give me a jesper fahey who just met a guy who saved him from being jumped and immediately becoming obsessed with him in a way that is almost unhealthy. he's always around the slat, trying to catch a glimpse of kaz. he's the first one to jump to a job, dangerous jobs, jobs that won't even benefit him, not really. but he might get kaz's approval, maybe even spend time with him. give me a jesper fahey who keep accepting dangerou situations, not just because he likes danger, but because he's forcing himself to, because this time, kaz is going to congratulate him, he can feel it. because maybe when he gets shot at, injured, bleeding out, maybe this time, kaz will do a little more than jut call for a medic and leave. becaue jesper injuring himelf for a job is commitment that kaz recognises, or because kaz wants to care for him, to look after him

give me a jesper fahey who reads into everything, good and bad. he wonders if kaz might've smiled at him, or was it just a grimace? had he complimented jesper' shot, or just the job well done? had he fucked up when he stupidly missed a shot because he wasn't focusing? was kaz going to hate him now, never peak to him again? was kaz giving him dirty looks? or is that a look that says 'it's okay, i'll give you another chance. give me a jesper fahey who replays every. little. thing. after every single job, who loses sleep over every interaction he has with kaz

give me a jesper fahey who's desperate to prove to kaz that he can be his person. he tries everything to find kaz's love language. he brings kaz gifts, he praises kaz, he tries to hang out with kaz in their spare time. he briefly figures he has it when he starts running little errands for kaz, bringing him coffee and doing his laundry, thinking his love language is acts of service, until he overhears a dreg mutter to another 'he's pleased now he's got fahey wrapped aorund his finger, doing whatever the hell he wants and doesn't wanna do himself'

give me a jesper fahey who cries himelf to sleep as he runs over every conversation they've ever had, desperate to prove to himself that kaz does like him, even if it's just as a friend. he notes every time kaz has played along with a joke, grinned at something he's said, comparing it to the times that he's done the same with the other dregs. give me a jesper fahey who wonders if he's being taken advantage of. give me jesper fahey who, with a broken heart, is ready to accept that a the best he'll ever get from kaz, and convinces himself that he's perfectly fine with being used, because it's better than nothing

give me a jeper fahey who's just desperate, so fucking desperate, for kaz's attention, approval, anything. he's desperate for kaz to ask him aobut himself to take an interest in him to want to spend time with him, and he'll do anything to prove to kaz that he's worth it. give me a jesper fahey who wants to be there for kaz because he love him so much that it fucking hurts and he knows he can do it, he can help kaz and he' there for him, even just as a friend. he'll do anything and everything and it's so unhealthy, but he puts all of his time and effort into kaz