a hag

there does exist a desire in me, and i assume most people, to understand their dream and maybe solve some real life problems using them. but honestly at most my dreams are somewhat tangentially related to whatever i am thinking about a lot the day before.

i did have a very cool dream where i was in a video game that was a mixture of Fortnite, elden ring (2 games ive never played), and skyrim (my angel game that i will defend!). someone (NOT todd Howard) should make this happen.

generally my dreams involve my friends or a mystery quest/escape room setting. idk im not a detective, i will not solve your mystery let me leave!

i used to try lucid dreaming when I was younger, sometimes i still do, something never change like still not being able to! i think i used to like the idea of doing stuff you cant do in real life (do newtonian physcis apply in dreams?), but now im not sure what i would do in my dreams

like a month ago i had sleep paralysis!! honestly very exciting experience, in a yay now i can relate to others better way, it just wasnt that scary for me! there was this weird creature in my room that was karate chopping (??) me and scratching my head. it did feel insanely real and i couldnt move (hated that part) but was also kinda funny like omg monster version of jack from kickin it in my room!! (used to LOVE that show)

been playing a lot of suduko these days! aad van de wetering is my favourite constructor of such puzzles.

wait bonfire is playing rn this is one of my running songs is does smth really good for me. fein is sadly the best running song of all time, my reaction to it is very teenage boy!

let me do my wordle and connectiosn and minute cryptic rq!

Wordle 1,740 5/6

🟩⬛⬛🟩⬛ 🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ugh!

Connections Puzzle #1018 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪 ayeee

Minute Cryptic - 25 March, 2026 "Baby shower starts by unwrapping mother’s presents" (4) ⚪️🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🤝 1 hints – matched the community par (130,525 solvers so far). that was so easy ugh why did i use a hint :((

drinking peach mango Canada Dry. its ok 7/10 nothing to write home about but i guess smth to write in a tumblr post about.

from my canada dry to yours,

In the case of a break up, you lose your bestfriend cause lowkey they gotta pick their family. With brothers best friend, he will be fine without a best friend (unless they were in love of smth #progressive #gaypeoplerreal) and you still have a brother.

i feel like most men dont have super deep friendships so your brother isnt gonna end up knowing a lot about ur relationship (actually the thought of any of my brothers knowing anything about my relationship would make me kms). but your best friend needs to know everything but thats so weird to learn about your brother like that?? like even my sister in law doesnt talk about my brother with me (ill tell u a story when we facetime later, remind me)

I will concede tho (what is my problem why am i acting like we r actively debating this!) that there is a higher likely hood that your brother (like all of mine) will be massive losers, a possibly incel redpill freaks (UGH!), and their friends r prob similar...

thankfully i will never be in a situation where this applies to me cause all my brothers friends r a decent amount older and very ugly (truly you would be shocked) and my brothers also have like 7 friends COMBINED (you do the math on the average). and i think none of our friends have brothers that r our age?

i acc rlly liked this ask, unlike some of ur others, lowkey get me to compare/rank more things

only thing thats suspicious is that you didnt pick up my calls last night... who were you talking to instead... is she funnier than me... smarter... kinder (probably, thats pretty easy to be).

even more suspiciously,

i like sleeping early. its nice to eat dinner, drink tea, and go to bed. routine and shit. ive started treating myself more like im a little kid with autism. it sounds kind of odd but all of the kids with autism that ive worked with have always needed strict schedules, clear likes/dislikes, and at least 1 loving presence around. it's weird to treat yourself in a disconnected way (as in: i am going to do this because it is written in my schedule for today, not because I am the one telling myself to do it) but it's helpful.

ALSO! so much has happened since last writing. ofc the big thing: got a tattoo (matching with my best friend forever H). I like it. ive never really cared all that much about "marking up" my body. for me, the body is just an object i can forget is with me.

i love the batman trilogy. for some reason i am badly consumed by it right now. out of the three, i have a soft spot for the dark knight rises (an unpopular opinion) mainly because i love thalia. nolan ofc never does his big one writing female character (and omg thalia is so massacred by racist writing in the comics) but, for me, she is such a great example how philosphy and love are incomparable in terms of power over ones morals. ofc she agrees with the los, but in the end shes driven by her fathers death and her personal desire for revenge on one man vs. the destruction of gotham ruins her plan.

ive been thinking a lot of love and death. im not really sure if love would be a 'thing' if death wasnt. but would death even matter if love didnt. is someones worth held in who/what/when/where they are in this world or is it measured by the hearts they are in.

everyday, for the past week, ive had a tuna melt. i believe (for no real reason) i have a weak heart, in both a physical and emotional/spiritual way, so i must consume omega-3s to strengthen it. i love the ocean though, so i try stretching how long i can eat 1 can for cause less (and in a perfect world, no) consumption is the only true ethical form. sidenote: i hate when people say "no ethical consumption under capitalism" cause like just consume less?? no shit buying a bunch of shit isnt gonna be ethical, just dont buy it. im kinda on a no buy thing. i think the last thing was 2 months ago (hair product #curlyhair but i dont think i will rebuy it once its done). i do need to buy toothpaste soon but thats lowkey it.

wordle and connections and minute cryptic are daily routine (aye callback!). i am not good at any of the above. in fact i get worse everyday.

i need to urinate. i am so scared of cramps. they are very unpredictable for some reason. sometimes i am fine, others i am ruining everyones day (b/c ik F is reading this (she better be), yes i am referring to kraven the hunter day). when will this problem take care of itself? when will consistency be at the center of my body and soul and mind? when will i go pee? when will i get a pet cat i can love so much?!

goodnight.

from a weak mind, body, and spirit,

need to get back into writing blog posts. Other things I need to get back into:

Sewing (hemmed some pants a few days ago and will sew on friday!)

oragami (already have a bunch of animals on my window sill but could always use more)

swimming (I promise (myself ig) i will go swimming on Sunday idc)

baking

scrapbooking

learning asl (learned how to say best friend today)

FREAKING BLOGGING!

reading

anyways im tired and head hurts cause sick. trying to work on my motivation problem. I just have a hard time doing anything cause whats the point, everyones dying or killing and i dont wanna be a part of that. but also nilism is too easy and i cant fall into its trap so i guess i need to live and do shit .

want my flu shot! read a blog post of someone in a bdsm relationship and honestly im not doing all that! the second someone tells me what to do im fighting them. but also if someone is stupid around me and needs me to tell them what to do, im also fighting.

dan and phil r real! big thing for tumblr and girls that like watching boys kiss (NOT IN A FETISIZING WAY I SWEAR!! JUST IN A WOW SO CUTE THEY R IN LOVE WAY)

i am always yawning or sneezing or burping...

the sky is full of stars (i hope, idk my curtains r closed), the leafs are falling, the bees are dying, the earth is spinning, and my bed is calling my phone. Not too certain if i should pick up orrrr study for my midterm. Goodnight ig!

love from a sex addict with a pussy palace,

had a dream where i had a penis but then it fell off. i felt immense sadness. my physics prof is incrdible kind. i had to buy a platform to do my assignments on (FOR 70 DOLLARS) i bought it a week ago and they still havent sent me my log in!! this week ive been eating soup and burritos. i wanna become a glass blower. they stars r so visible to me lately. i think they are telling trying to tell me smth.

been playing so much township (like hours everyday) cant wait til i let it go. feeling deeply conected to adonis. hes just a young boy. keep deleting and then redownloading tiktok. business is not smth i stand on. got off calc 2 and orgo waitlist. wishing death upon people really does work.

during my chem lab i broke a capillary :(. a blood vessel in my eye burst so i just had the scariest looking eye for a few days. living in cities is for me. i love walking fast. slow walkers ihy please dont do this (make me walk slow) to me.

went to the club with friend s on saturday! it was very fun. i met a guy i was riffing with but idk his ig so he no longer exists and im convinced he was a joint hallucination. i smoked a cigarette with some girls while waiting for the bus. it reminded me of my grandpa. when i was younger i thought he was in my life for like 3 years but he died 6 months after i met him. i was 4 but i have so many memories of him. in the club bathroom a girl let me use her peach mango vape.

discovered how to do exponents on the samsung keyboard. climbed half the Eiffel tower (stair master). started watching high potential. love it. mentalist will always be my angel tho. OBSESSED with talking ben!

goodnight!

love all the time,

starting on friday the 27th: my dead friend h and her sister (who hates me :() were hosting a christman party! i drove with my friend a. we brought with us our white elephant gifts! i met h's new kittens!!! they were absolutely angelic. during the party, we had a meal, played gartic phone, and made a gingerbread house (post demolition).

for white elephant, i gave a scrapbooking starter kit. originally i got a lippie but i already have that exact one (it was literally in my purse), my a (a lover of all things lip products) however orchretrated a trade with our friend f so that i ended up with a disposable camera, face mask, ketchup chips, and oh henry reeses collab chocolate (my fave).

that night, after coming home, my niece and newphews arrived! they r my older brothers kids and live in america so i dont see them much. i think its crazy that im closer in age to my nephew than i am to my brother.

me, a, and f have been OBSESSED with criem scene kitchen. it truly is the best cooking show. we watched season 3. truly the best cinema currently airing.

on saturday, me, a, and h went to toronto! first, dainties macarons. a got 5, i got 1 red velvet one (was delish!! but you must like cream cheese to enjoy it). whilst walking their, h spotted a place her favourite youtubers had gone to in a video which brought her great excitement. second, frescas pizza. had a very tasty slice. a got me a nestea(!!) 😭. while there, to h's great suprise, she spotted an arcade that her fave utubers had also gone to. we went and it was fun (i liked it more than them). third, free hot chocolate pop-up. we got free garbage bags too. last, eaton centre for permenent bracelets!! h convinced us to get silver. we got no charms and i love the simplicity. it was buy 2 get 1 free so the cost was really good! i got a gift for f's bday and my sephora bday gift. we got a&w coke (me and h got diet which i hate). we took the subway and i peed in the station (in a bathroom ofc). i drove us back from the station and fir the entire 20 minutes, my windows and front/back windsheild were so foggy i could hardly see. but alas we all got home safe.

i have started coding an episode game for h. it is completely ridiculous.

finished the low taper fade obby in roblox. my nephew was throughly impressed.

me and f watched some squid game season 2. they killed my fine man. im not enjoying it. been locked into block blast.

Tuesday!! watch Babygirl!! with h and her sister. all i will say is movie of the year! actually i will say more: it was so entertaining, goofy, unserious, and meow.

the new year has come.

i watched some hockey on wednesday. turcottes not doing well. i had him pinned to be a star before caufeild. i think he came into that game with 2 season penalties, just to get 2 more in that one game.

tall people scare me. i think ive never been in close proximity to anyone taller than 5'10.

suffering from the Calling Everyone 'BOY' Sickness. do not know when i will recover. or if i even will...

started tracking things (pees, poops, steps, hours of sleep, crys) for the new year. hoping to make a year wrapped.

posted a tiktok story as a joke. my old coworker saw it :(. so embarrassed. but think i might just start posting tikTok stories for fun.

been making a really good salad these days. in love with it and think about it every second of every minute of every day of every you get it.

today me, a, and f spent much of the day on a facetime call. we watched: Found A Homeless Billionaire Husband for Christmas, i found it on tiktok and it was simply amazing, Breaking the Ice, also tiktok, also amazing, and lastly Twisted Pair by the brilliant and stock footage loving Neil Breen. i laughed greatly, my firends didnt like neil breen that much. wtv.

set up my notion and google calander for the new term. very exciting. i have 2 midterms on my birthday.

thats it for this week.

going somewhere tomorrow!! and then back to locking in.

goodnight and sleep tight,

went clubbing a week ago. it was great fun i think. felt awful the next day. i think im going clubbing the week i go back. my bus ride here was good. was forced to listen to asap rocky instead of future but the god hour is one of my fave songs so idc. love ketchup.

i love doctor who. kinda disliking eyebrowless doctor. idk i miss my dear 11th doctor. he was so funny. i LOVED him and martha. my fave scene from the show is the swedish beach.

my visions of my death are coming back.

born to die is my fave album in the world. i think its Lanas best work, it isnt the deepest or her best writing, but her vocals are beautiful and it is a very cohesive piece. Lust for life has my favourite songs on it tho, its just lacking the cohesiveness that born to die has.

Went to the slushynoobz lookalike contest. It was freezing cold and i wanted to cry. i thought i would have to cut my feet from how cold they were. i lost my marting photocard so i have nothing to remember that event by. i was there with my friend h, her sister, and her cousin. We went to a textile museum afterwards. and then to a free cookie decorating thing. we had dinner at east tea can. i liked the chicken. we got nanis gelato to finish off the night. it was santas cookies flavour.

i want the Lulu bag with the side pockets.going thru my voicemail rn!

on Monday me and my friends f and j went to the mall. I drove j from the bus stop. we got tims and snacks from dollarama. the we watched Kraven the Hunter (has said no one ever) at the cinema. it was a 5/10. not as bad as madame web, but very meh. I got my period. it hurt so badly. we 'snuck' into the theater for wicked afterwards, but only watched a few minutes cause j got scared and my stomach was hurting so much. we went to dollarama where i sat on the floor while they found me tylenol. I took 2. they really helped. we took photobooth pics and then i dropped j off and went home.

need wingstop and chilis. need draco and hermoine fans to die. taylor from klem family is pmo!!

On Tuesday, me and my friends h and a went to the mall. it was so much fun and i got my gift for white elephant (happening tomorrow) im so excited. i went kinda over budget but i really dont mind. i could get a reeses cup and i would be ok with that. i then drove us to our friend ds work place. she was closing tho so we went to dollarama and got kinder eggs. i drove h home and then a. i packed up my white elephant gift. so excited!! at night me, a, and f watched crime scene kitchen season 2 finale. the final 3 had us shocked and confused.

no one has been playing roblox with me :(

my Sephora cart and brandy cart r so cute i wish a had a large sum of money so i could buy everything, but also i would never over consume like that!

after skating today, i went to the Chinese market with my mom and grandma for fish. they didnt have pickerel so we got smth else. the dude there was just hitting the fish while they were still living. dont know how humane it is but at least the fish are fresh. it was in jane and finch so i was kinda scared my car was gonna get stolen. honestly i love jane and finch, ik its one of the worst parts of toronto but i spent so much of my childhood there. then we went to shoppers. SO many things were on clearout i got some skincare and an eyeshadow palette. my mom got a bunch of chocolate for family back home ofc.

incredibly excited for tomorrow. i have been doing a crazy amount of driving these days. i have spent like an hour on the highway this week. love it tho.

ok time for dinner and a show (facetime call with f).

love more than anything,

but really the main tip i have to give out (other than the one in my pants) is that sleep is the most inportant thing. i have good memory, ive had it since childhood, but to keep it good you must get enough sleep. and not naps. a full 8-9 hours! your brain needs it. rem sleep gives your brain time to organize and store all the information it gained thru the day. a couple of 30 minute naps wont do the trick. its also important for your body and emotions. sleep is like a cleanse, its the one thing that really resets you.

next, go to all your lectures and pay attention!!. i rarely take notes in lectures (unless the prof doesnt post them, which all but 1 of mine do) because i pay attention to what the prof is saying. this is rlly personal but multitasking isnt for me. i either take good notes or i pay attention. for most profs paying attention is going to give you a better understanding. for my notes i will either write them before class or i will write them after. for a few classes i dont write notes (the slides are good or most of the content is practice problems).

be smart with your studying. each subject is different but for most stem courses the best technique imo is: go over the notes and note down the main topics, go over the practice problems to understand how and why they are written, go thru the methods used to solve the problem, go back thru the notes but this time comparing the implementation of problem solving methods to the theory of them, lastly make your good copy notes with a section on theory, method, application and cases where things arent applicable, and write out a compeleted example problem that covers a lot of the topics (i like using the last problem provided cause it usually is the longest and has the most stuff) and write down the steps to solve a general problem. this varies from subject to subject but for stem courses i feel like its the best way to organize your notes.

UNDERSTAND THE CONTENT!! you can study for an exam and do really well on it but if you dont actually understand what you learned and its relevence/use you will have a harder time in the future as the course builds. this isnt that important for random courses that dont have much to do with what you are studying, but for courses that are intergal to your degree you need to understand the content. if you dont understand it, figure out way (maybe slides are worded badly, the proper theory behind things isnt given), and then find ways to fill those gaps in understanding. i have a few youtubers that give me good info about my courses but depending on ur style of learning you might prefer to go to office hours, a tutor, read papers.

MOST IMPORTANTLY!! enjoy what you are learning. i have never been sad when i have done badly, because i know i had fun learning and that i got better at critical or mathimatical thinking becuase of it. changing your attitude will do lots to make studying fun.

lastly, everyone has different styles of studying. i hate studying in public places, my best studying is done criss cross apple sauce in my bed. i study for 30 minutes with a 5 break if i need to pee or smth but otherwise i will go for like 3 hours straight until i get hungry. you might get bored after 10 minutes. find what works for you, keep track of the methods you use and their outcomes.

happy learning!

studiously,

personally, my thoughts on ai haven't changed. i still think there is a vulture like quality to all ais that deal in information/addiction as currency (in the sense that everything you say is also being feed into their models to make them seem more human and when people stop having the patience to think for themselves most large scale ais will become payed). however, what happened (not recently, because i am getting to this a bit later then i should've) has nothing/very little to do with the referenced ai. it has to do with parents forgetting they are parents, media skewing how relationships should be/are, and technology being the main caretaker of a lot of kids. technology is a great resource but there are multi-billion dollar corporations trying to keep people on any form of it for longer periods of time than they should be. kids have an insane amount of screen time and its guinuenly messing with their development. not in the mood to cite research articles, but there is so much data about the negative affects of an over-use of technology, and when dealing with kids, pretty much any use is an over-use. while what happened is sad, i believe the responsibility will always lie on parents. if they allow their kids access to technology, it should be monitored. i am not trying to be self rightoeus in any way, i viewed and interacted with content that wasnt made for children when i was a child. however, my use of technology was monitored enough (in the mom looking over your shoulder to see what youre watching way) that i wasnt interacting with developmentally innaproriate stuff consistently/for long periods of time. i also spent most of my time not with technology. i played outside with my friends, i played/fought with my brothers, i cooked with my mom. i was able and encouraged to experience and maintain my relationships, which is something a lot of kids are no longer doing.

i will hate on technology any chance i get, however i care more about child care than i do technology so that is what i believe has a bigger affect. i have worked with kids for a while now, and i have worked with kids from the ages of 4-12 which are some of the most defining years. the emotional regulation, friendships, and critical thinking skills that kids who arent chronically online (for lack of better words) compared to those who are is shocking. people kill theselves all the time because of an addiction. thats exactly what this was, a young boy with an addiction that shouldnt have ever existed. you can blame technology or ai for as long as you want and put laws in place and yell from the rooftops, but that will never stop people from pirating and opensourcing and making google docs with links. barriers in tech does not change the life someone has to live outside of the tech they use. kids needs friends, they need time outside, they need human interaction and it is their parents job to provide that.

im not trying to blame the parents, kids will find ways to do the things they want, but this situation wasnt caused by one rash action. it was caused by a long period of emotional dysregulation.

keep ur kids as far away from tech as you can, the ipad is not their primary care taker. let them play outside and ride bikes and fall and scrape their knees. read books to them, take them to the library, play boardgames, cook with them, set up play-dates, colour with them. let them go out with their friends, redocerate their rooms, get after school jobs, do wood work in the garage, stare at walls, paint said walls. there is more to life than the media we are fed, dont hand it to your kids and expect them not to gobble it down!

From,