long time no see

@bookoramaenderteeth us

there are songs i hear and go “man there is no way anyone actually listens to this” and then you hear it on the radio 300 times a day and the album is nominated for a grammy and there are fans who spend every dollar they have on merch and concert tickets to sold out stadiums of people who all love that song. and you wonder if maybe you’re the one who’s wrong but then you hear it again and decide that nope, you’re right and everyone else has lost their minds

spider man would have a tumblr i think

he made a tumblr account back when it was more normal for celebrities to be on tumblr and just never deleted it. nobody believes that it's the real actual spider man but it is. long time followers are like no no he's posted proof here are the receipts. occasionally he shows up on posts where he's mentioned to jumpscare people.

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

I was too scared to watch edward scissorhands has a kid but I thought about how could a woman go through pregnancy with a fetus growing metal scissors hands it took years of theorizing, still without watching the movie, to even think that maybe he wasn’t born with scissor hands

maybe women are stronger than you think

Sorry listening and learning here

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

My favorite thing about fandoms is that there is always an mlp fan somewhere that can and will turn everyone into a pony, doesnt matter what genre the thing is or if its not super popular, it will be pony-fied

Is there a word for occupying the space where normies think you're a freak and freaks think you're a normie?

mama bear, through gritted teeth: i said “let’s cross the road efficiently with mama”