20 painkiller induced musings post top surgery
Things I am most excited for:
1. Not having to hope and pray there's no one in the elevator at work so I can have a moment to adjust my binder
2. Being able to go into the bathroom and see myself in the mirror and not have my first thought be "are my boobs noticeable"?
3. Not having to put on a binder and a shirt just to go into my living room and get a drink
4. Being able to work out without a binder and lay down on the bench press without worrying that I won't pass
6. Not having to deal with the feeling when you're a little sweaty and you have to take your binder off but it's sticking to you
7. Not having to switch shirts 7 times to find one that makes you look the most flat
8. Being able to wear WHITE T SHIRTS!
9. Being able to get rid of the section of my closet shelf I have for binders
10. Not having to freak out when I don't have a clean binder/can't find one
11. Having my wife lay on my chest
12. Learning to love my scars
13. Not standing in the mirror and flattening my boobs/pushing them to the side to imagine what it'd be like without them
14. Loving my body enough that I have been eating healthier/working out for the first time in years
15. Not having to feel the CONSTANT underlying anxiety about my breasts falling out of my binder and agonizing over excuses I could make up if for some reason someone mentioned my strangely large "pecs"
16. Going to my first therapy appointment after surgery and being able to tell her how happy I am/ rereading the therapist letter about how valid I am
17. No rib pain/shortness of breath
18. Wearing a towel around just my waist
19. Trying on all my tshirts again
20. Male presenting nipples lmao