Caffeinated Chapters

I swear I keep hearing Jake's voice but it's soft. I know if he was really here he would be raising hell to find me. He's told me countless times that I'm the only person he truly trusts and would give anything for me. However, after the constant questions, I wonder how much that is true. 

I hear a voice outside my door “is she in there?” this is a voice I recognize but I’m not sure who.

“Yes, she is” another man says.

All of a sudden the door opens and everything is hazy to me. I think its because of the pain but now I’m questioning what was in the water.

“My love” I hear a man say.

I look up as there is only one man who has ever called me that in a soft tone, and that’s my Jake. I’m unable to talk  as I’m in so much pain and exhausted. He comes walking up to me. “Jake?” I ask softly.

“What has he done to you?” ‘Jake’ ask.

I look into his eyes and they are a different shade of blue but I think it's because he thought he lost me. “They tortured me. What have you done?” I manage to say between tears.

“I’m sorry, MC. However, I need to know what you told them?” he states.

“Nothing! Because you don’t trust me!” I yell in his face.

“I trust you, you can tell me what I told you” he says.

“You never told me anything Jake,” I say looking away from him.

He grabs my chin, gently pulling it towards me as he looks over my dress and the damaged done. He gets up and picks me up and I pass out in his arms. I wake up and I’m back in the original room and I see the food.

“Damn it!'' I yell as I realized they drugged me. As I see the food, my stomach starts to growl but I don’t trust eating it now. As they will stop at nothing to get me to talk and that was proof.  My mind goes back to the man that acted like he was my Jake. why did he sound so much like my Jake? Why was his eyes so close to Jake’s blue eyes? Why did his voice sound so familiar? I hear more voices outside the room, this time I recognized it as Richy.

“Who put her in there? I wasn’t done with my pet!” he yells.

“Commander did. You know when we’re holding someone and he wants to talk to them we don’t stop him” says the guard.

My door swings open and I see Richy standing there, he has the same look in his eyes as every time and  I know what's coming.

“I wasn’t done with you!” he yells as he walks in and I try to protect myself. He corners me and grabs my wrist and tossing me down on the bed. I close my eyes not wanting to look at him and let my mind wander somewhere else. My mind goes back to the day when Jake introduced himself to my father. 

I smell the fresh bread we had in the oven and my mother’s laugh, as I had told her a funny story. There was a knock on the door and my father answered it. I saw in the doorway, the man from the flower stand and my heart stopped again. My mother noticed my reaction and knew something has happened as she saw this man telling my father. My father told him it was none of his business and tried to shut the door in his face. His persistence drew me even more to him as he stopped the door and looked my dad straight in the eyes. I remember him telling my father 

“I can help save your business, more then he can and I don’t ask for anything in return expect to let me honestly win her heart” 

I could tell my father was trying to figure out what to do. I remember running to the door to my fathers side in that moment. I had looked at him and he knew that he had made the wrong decision with his only daughter. He shook Jake’s hand without saying a word. I remember later that night my father leaving and coming back, looking like he was attacked but i wasn’t told anything. I remember the moments after that, Jake stopping by my fathers trading business to help him, as he promised and making me fall in love with him even more then when I first saw him.

I'm brought back to Richy slapping me with my dressed that is remaining intacked pushed up and his pants down. The door swings open and the man from beford come walks in.

He grabs Richy and tosses him against the wall. I see his face, his blue eyes, the scruff on his face, his dark hair.

"What the hell did I tell you Rodger's?!" He yells.

"You told me to get her to talk Commander. To learn what she knows" Richy says.

"Only when she's in the other room! When she's in here you are not to touch her. I fucking knew you would go to far. You can't keep it in your trousers" the man says.

He turns and looks at me. I've straighted up my dress and curled up into a ball on the bed.

He reaches out to run his hands through my hair and even in pain I slap his hand away. He stops and it surpises me, "there's that fight I knew you had. Rest up and eat, i promise the food isn't drugged but it will probably be cold" he says turning away and grabbing Richy by the ear and yanking him out.

I hear the door close and I cry. I yell something and the door opens again and its commander. "Do you want to tell us know what you know? I wont be able to stop that rat all the time" he says.

I look up at him from the bed as he’s in the doorway still “I have no idea what you expect me to tell you. I don’t know anything’ i say with tears in my eyes.

“See I know you, MC. I know you know something about what Jake does because your relentless, when you want something” he says as he walks out the door and slams it shut.

As i sit there trying to figure out who this man is the pain and emotional toll is taking over and I fall asleep.

Commanders POV

She's the same MC I knew those years ago. However whatever stupid Rodgers did to her was maybe a bit to far. I shut the door and I look at him.

"Commander, why did you show her your face?" Rodgers asks.

I can hear the drunks hollering out in the bar.  Some are even singing loudly in their revelry.  It is always like this on nights when the ships come into harbor.  Lonely men with gold in their pockets out looking for women and booze.  I supply both.  I would have to go back out there to keep an eye on things.  Honest help is not something you find to hire in a tavern like mine.  It is best for me to be present to discourage thief or laziness.  I am not one to be cheated out of my due.  But hell, I deserve a brake.  I take another swig of the bottle of rum on my desk.  The pleasant sting and bitterness coating my tongue and throat.  The heat of the alcohol only fanning my flames of desire further. 

I don’t even know this wench’s name, but they are all the same anyways.  Just a warm place to bury my cock and get some relief from the boredom of life.  Her skirt is bunched up around her waist as she bounces up and down for my pleasure.  I wrap my fingers into her chestnut hair, gripping tightly, before pulling her head back.  Hell, the way that causes her to arch her back is a beautiful sight.  “You want to touch yourself, don’t you love?”  She gives a small nod.  “Go ahead, love.  I’m not a cruel man.  Go on, enjoy yourself.”  Quickly, her hand disappears under the front of her dress while the other continued to hold  onto the desk tightly for support.  

Letting go of her hair, I burrow my left hand into the front of her dress, squeezing the soft flesh hidden there.  My forearm, crossing her chest, holding her firmly upright in front of me. My other hand digs into her hip guiding her harder and faster along my length.  I move my mouth right next to her ear and as my hot breath hits the sensitive skin there, she moans in pleasure.  “Scream for me, love,” I demand, pinching her nipple hard to elicit the response I desire.  That pushes me over.  A low grunt escapes from my throat as I fill her deeply with my pleasure.  My head nods forward resting on her back as I work to catch my breath.

“Phillip!”  The man roars as he throws open the door and storms into the room.

“Damn!  Don’t you know how to knock,” I yell back.

The lass quickly pulls off of me and lowers her skirts, before scurrying out of the room.  I stand, tucking myself back in, as I eye the man before me.  At least he had the courtesy to turn his head and look a bit embarrassed.  Not that I care.

“Jake,” I say walking around my desk and extending my hand, “To what do I owe this pleasure?”  I can’t help but chuckle smugly.

He looks down at my hand, knowing full well what I have been up to recently, and declines to shake it.  He looks straight into my eyes, his icy blue ones sharp and penetrating, before he speaks.  “They took her, Phil.  They took MC.”  

"Who? Who took her?" I asked as realization of the situation hit me.

"That is what you're going to help me find out," he replied.

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After the events of this evening, I am not sure who I can trust.  Well, trust is the wrong word.  I don’t trust anyone, only myself.  But to gather secrets, I  had to develop contacts.  I would like to think these relationships were all cold and calculated.  Just an understanding of the character of people and how they would act.  Using them while keeping up a mask of friendship.  That worked for most of my life, but after MC appeared I knew that I had softened.  I had let my carefully constructed mask develop cracks and those closest to me began to seep in.  Now look where that softness got me!  They had take the only one that I truly loved.

Were there other spies and saboteurs among the guild ranks? I had been so careful who I let in, vetting them carefully over time.  As the guild grew, I had compartmentalized tasks so only those of us at the top knew the full pictures.  We have hundreds of informants and those who gather information for us.  They are our eyes and ears, but not members of the guild.  Within our ranks, I established a hierarchy to limit knowledge.  I am the only true Master of Secrets.  The only one who knows all and controls everything about the guild.

The closest I got to trust was the with the man before me.  It had been cold strategy that lead me to develop contact with him.  As a tavern owner, he is in the perfect position to gather intel.  Liquor loosens lips.  Much is learned from the ramblings of the drunken.  Add to that the other pleasures offered in the upstairs rooms and this is a den of debauchery and also of knowledge.  His “employees” are the perfect network for finding secrets.

I didn’t like the man at first.  He oozes charm and charisma.  That works on others, but not on me.  I have always seen it for what it is, a carefully constructed personality to fool, deceive, and greedily obtain what he wants.  It is his mask.  Perhaps I saw through it so easily because it reflects my own so well.  Perhaps that is also why, it seems like it was inevitable now, we get along.  Each of us knows the other’s mask and sees what lies beneath.  We are more similar than I would ever have wanted to believe went I first constructed our contact.

We are no longer in his office having moved to a more private room where we can talk away from others.  A bottle and two glasses are set on the table between us.  I have already drunk enough to calm my rage, but not enough to dull my mind.  Rage just won’t do.  I have to be cold and calculating about this.  The rage has to be pushed aside until I can act upon it.  First I have to find the secrets.  I have to discover who and why they are behind this kidnapping.  And I have to do it quickly.

Phillip Hawkins sits across from me, his long dark hair, which had hung with sweat, is once again combed and tied neatly back.  He is composed sitting there, now the cunning man of business once more.  I can see he is deep in thought about the situation at hand.

“Phil, I need you to follow up on leads here.  Try to track down who is involved and where they took her,” I explain. “I have to go check out the country branch.  It needs to be me, in person.  I have to learn who this Rogers is and how he got on our payroll.  He has been around for 3 years now; but has never made it into the guild.  Of course, I have the final say on who joins our official ranks, but his application has never made it to me.  Someone else must have been blocking his inclusion too.  I need to find out who and what they know.”

“I think you’re right.  A visit from you is the best way to get answers from them.”  It surprises me that he agrees so quickly.  He continues, “I will track them here, find out what this Richy fellow has been up to since coming into the city, and piece together where they took her.” He paused before looking me dead in the eye, “We will find her, Jake.  And all the devils in hell will be in awe of the brimstone we will rain down upon those bastards who took her.” The cold fury in his eyes along with the way he clenches his jaw left no doubt that he meant it.

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I hastily change out of my dress clothes, throwing on my worn black trousers and boots followed by a black shirt and cloak.  Stopping by the local stable, I stride to the stall where Midnight was chewing his hay.  His head rose, his large dark eye looking me over, before whining and shaking his mane.  He huffed and stamped his front foot.

The evildoer doesn't believe my words and slaps me. Terrified, I feel the blood dripping down my delicate face. I keep insisting, "Sir, my Jake is a simple merchant," I begin to tremble with fear.

The thug calls another man and shouts, " this bitch won't confess, I am sure she is hiding something from us. "

I look around, looking for a way to escape, but I can't find it. I am definitely at the mercy of the criminals. I feel the hot tears streaming down my face.

At this instant, quite annoyed, the second criminal pulls my hair and slaps me again. Due to the force of the impact, I end up falling off the chair.

He leans over and threatens, "I think I'm going to enjoy taking Jake's girl virginity," he rips off my dresses as I defend myself, quite terrified. I try to protect myself with my fingernails and hit the criminal, who gets even angrier and tries to kiss me. His fetid tongue tries to run across my mouth. Scared, I bite down hard on his lips, which bleed profusely. I feel his disgusting blood on my lips and start to feel nauseous.

The other man, who appears to be the leader, pulls his accomplice away from me, saying, "I think we'd better wait a little while, if we leave her without food and drink, she will confess, otherwise we will be forced to torture the MC."

I breathe a sigh of relief, as I have managed to buy some time. However, the two thugs start kicking me, shouting "I think this will help you remember, dear."

Finally, the criminals retreat from the room and lock the door. I get up from the floor, bruised, and straighten my torn robes, I notice a trail of blood on the floor.

Even though I am weak, I walk around every corner of the dimly lit room to try to escape, but to no avail. The environment is quite inhospitable, dirty, but seems to be a fortress.

Feeling quite vulnerable, I start thinking about Jake. I have loved him since the first time I saw him, and I feel his love for me, especially in the moments when we kissed ardently. Last time, he was especially tender. He said that I was fascinating.

However, he has always been rather enigmatic. Several times when I asked him about his past, Jake kept his mouth shut. He said that when the time was right, he would tell me.

I lean against the wall, unsure of what my future holds while here. I rip off a piece of dresses that is already torn and wipe my face that feels covered in blood, unsure if it’s all mine. I fall to the floor unsure if Jake even knows where I am. If only I could have gotten him to talk about what he wasn't telling me. I could give the criminals  what they want and get out of here.

However, he never told me. I don’t know if he didn’t trust me like I trusted him or he just didn’t want me to know. Until this moment, he never gave me a reason to doubt the life we have built these last two years, or the love we have shared, but how can I give them the information they want without betraying him. Instead of trying to figure out how to get out of this room since there is no way my mind wonders.

A year ago he asked me to be his forever, it was nothing short of amazing and I knew he had asked my father in advance. My parents adore this man for saving their business and their only daughter. He had pulled this simple gold band while down on one knee and I swear the whole town heard me scream yes in the middle of the square where we first saw eachother. However, now my mind wonders what he’s been hiding from me.

You see, I met him two years ago. I was at a flower stand with the man I was supposed to marry, however he was trying to buy my least favorite flowers. I was heading to my favorite when he kept grabbing my hand. I am stubborn which is very unlady like and refused to let him buy the one’s he wanted simply because they were cheaper. However, I noticed this man standing in the shadows of the alleyway. He was keeping himself hidden from the crowd, or so he thought, but I noticed him. Something about him filled me with feelings I sure didn’t have for this other man. In that moment of staring at him the man pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me.

You see, my family wasn’t doing well with the trade business my father had. This man’s family had made a deal with my father to help keep his business afloat if I married their son. When I met this man I was not a fan of his due to his reputation in this town for treating women like property, to him that is all I was.

As I looked back to the alleyway the man I saw before was gone and I felt my body being pulled in a different direction. I tried to stop him but he refused to listen. All of a sudden I see someone step between us and stop him.

“She wants to go somewhere else. Were you not taught to treat a woman with respect?” this man says. All I see is his back but he’s wearing the same as the man I saw in the alley and my heart I swear stops. 

The memories of those following weeks flood me. He got in touch with my father and helped me in exchange for me not having to marry that man. He never told me about his past or what he did when he wasn’t helping my father with the trade business. However, I knew his name was Jake and he called me MC. He had a huge house in the town which helped my father understand that was able to take care of me if we went that path. It didn’t take long for those feelings from the market to come back, watching him with my father working and coming around as much as he could. He finally asked me to be his and I accepted because for the first time in my life, I wanted it with this man.

Him asking me was a year ago today. He had this plan for today but refused to tell me. I was waiting at my parents house alone for him when someone broke it and took me.

I’m laying on the bed hoping for him to save me soon when I hear someone come and unlock the door. I jump up and this man is standing there with a stew and water for me. He doesn’t say anything at the moment but puts it down on the chair. As he goes to leave someone else comes in.

“Look lady, all you have to do is tell us where that man in your life finds the secrets that he keeps and sells.” this unknown man states.

“I have no idea what you are talking about!” I yell. “He works the trade business is all I know” I start to cry because they must have me confused me with someone else.

I hear the man laugh “oh sweetheart, we know you're lying so this is going to be easier if you just tell us everything” he says as he grabs my wrist and pulls me out of the room. There is no point in fighting this man, I feel too weak already. He pulls me into a room and ties me to a chair. I look around and see different items for torture and I still think they have the wrong person.

The man turns to me and grabs my face, “Look MC, just tell us where Jake gets his secrets and who he sells them too.” My eyes might get wide and scared as I’m unable to say anything as the man knows my name and Jake’s name. “Acting like you don’t know his secrets isn’t going to help you because we will just get you to talk,” the man says, letting go of my face and turning away.

She opened the bathroom door and saw him at the desk, laptop open, focused like the world didn’t exist outside of whatever code he was breaking. His hoodie was off, gray sweatpants, fitted black shirt. He wasn’t overly bulky, but it was obvious he stayed in shape; life on the run demanded it. She could see the quiet strength in him, especially in the way his shoulders moved as he worked.

He felt her watching him before he even turned, and he already knew what she wanted. He already knew he couldn’t give it to her. Right now they were safe, or as safe as they ever got, but no one knew about her yet. How long would that last? It never lasted. He chose this life when he hacked those files, when he exposed what needed to be exposed. But she hadn’t chosen it. She could still walk away. She could still be free of his mess.

“Don’t even think about trying to join me, MC,” he said without fully turning. And there it was in her eyes when he looked at her; defeat, and something worse. Love that didn’t know where to go.

“But I love you, Jake,” she said as she stepped closer, like saying it softer might make it easier to survive. “Now that I found you… I don’t want to imagine a life without you.” She was close enough now that he could reach her, and he did, taking her left hand like he was memorizing it.

“Maybe ten years from now,” he said quietly, “we’ll meet again at a coffee shop down the road… and start over.”

“But what if we don’t?” she asked, her voice breaking as tears gathered in her eyes.

Even in his electric blue eyes, something cracked. He closed his laptop, stood up, and said, “I will always find you.”

He let go of her hand like it hurt and packed his bag too carefully, like if he slowed down he’d stay. He pulled on his hoodie and mask but left it down around his mouth for a moment longer, then stepped in, grabbed her hips, and pulled her close. The kiss wasn’t rushed or uncertain it was everything they didn’t have time for. When he pulled away, she kept her eyes closed for a second too long, like she could hold him there if she refused to look. But when she opened them, he was already gone. He paused at the door and looked back, and even through the mask she saw it he was crying too. Just one tear slipping down before he wiped it away. Then he walked out, away from her, away from everything they had become.

----10 years later----

Ten years later, he got free eventually. Five years ago, he made a deal with the FBI and now worked for them, chasing people like the man he used to be. He still looked for her in every case, every lead, every city, but there was nothing. All he had was her name and a trace of where she’d been during the search for Hannah. He reached out once, but Hannah said she hadn’t heard from her in years. Jessy had tried longer, but even that faded. Eventually MC just disappeared from everyone’s life, like she erased herself or like the world took her, and he didn’t know which hurt more.

He walked into a coffee shop on his way to work like he did most mornings. Same order, same routine, same table he always sat at before heading into another case. Phone already in his hand, reading messages about the day’s project when he saw her. A brunette with hazel eyes sitting at his usual table, typing like she belonged there. His breath caught so hard it almost hurt. No. It couldn’t be. But everything about her felt like her. Too much like her. She looked up suddenly and apologized, her voice the same softness, the same rhythm, and he had to blink like it would reset reality. Then the barista called out, “Coffee for MC!” and everything stopped.

She stood to grab it, and that’s when she saw him. Those electric blue eyes. That dark hair. Ten years collapsed into a single breath. She sat back down slowly but couldn’t stop looking at him, needing to know if it was really him. She stood again and walked over.

“Do you come here often?” she asked, trying to sound normal and failing just slightly.

“Every morning before work,” he said, smiling like his life wasn’t falling apart.

“I just moved here for my job. My neighbor said this place had the best coffee, so I decided to work here today instead of staying home. I’m MC.” She held out her hand, and he took it like the world wasn’t shaking underneath them.

“Best coffee around,” he said. “I come out of my way for it. I’m Jake. What do you do that lets you work anywhere?”

“I run my own business,” she said, smiling faintly. “Expanding here.”

He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice like a secret. “Don’t tell anyone, but I work for the FBI.”

That got a real laugh out of her, something light and familiar, but then it faded as she said, softer, “I loved a guy once I couldn’t talk about. Not sure I still can.” The air between them shifted instantly.

He didn’t hesitate. “You can, MC.”

The way he said her name pulled her eyes straight back to his. “Jake?” she whispered.

“It’s really me.” He reached for her hand again like neither of them trusted time anymore. “I will always find you.” The barista called his name again, and he had to go. She grabbed a napkin and wrote her number on it with shaking hands, adding let’s catch up. Then she returned to her seat, pretending to open her laptop while watching him from the corner of her eye.

Jake laughing as he spun me around our tiny kitchen at two in the morning because our favorite song came on. Jake holding our newborn daughter with tears in his electric blue eyes. Jake tangled in our sheets on lazy Sunday mornings, messy black hair falling into his face while he smiled at me like I was the only thing keeping his world together.

He died ten years ago, but my heart never learned how to survive without him. People told me I would move on eventually. That grief would fade. That someday I would find someone else. But there was never going to be anyone else. How could there be?

We met in the strangest way possible. I was just a random phone number his half-sister had given her boyfriend before she disappeared. He was a wanted hacker desperately trying to find her. I should have been terrified of him, but instead there was this pull between us from the very beginning. Something magnetic. Something impossible to explain no matter how hard we tried to ignore it.

By the time Hannah was finally found, we were already falling for each other. Meeting him in person only made it worse. One look at those bright blue eyes and that crooked grin, and I knew my life would never be the same.

And it wasn’t.

Jake became a free man and we built a life together piece by piece, full of chaos and love and late-night talks. We got married, had kids, and grew old together. Even after years together, he still kissed me like he was afraid I might disappear.

Then one rainy night, he never came home from work.

I still remember the sound that left my throat in the ICU when the doctor told me there was nothing more they could do. I remember clutching his hand while our children cried beside me. I remember begging him to stay.

But he slipped away anyway.

And he took half of me with him.

The light around me grows warmer now, brighter. The pain in my chest that has followed me for ten long years slowly begins to fade. For the first time since losing him, I feel whole again.

My feet carry me forward before I even realize where I am. Golden gates stretch high into the sky, glowing softly around me. And there he is.

Jake.

Standing just beyond the gates like he’s been waiting for me this entire time.

My breath catches as I stare at him. He looks exactly the same. Messy black hair falling into his face. Electric blue eyes full of warmth and love. Home.

I break into a run.

The second I reach him, his arms wrap around me and he lifts me effortlessly off the ground. I bury my face into his neck, sobbing as I cling to him while his hands hold me like he never wants to let go again.

I pull back just enough to look at him before crashing my lips against his. Everything around us disappears. Maybe it’s heaven. Maybe it’s simply him. Either way, the world stops the moment he touches me again.

When he finally sets me down, his forehead rests against mine. “Hi, my love,” Jake whispers softly.

A shaky laugh escapes me through my tears. “Hi, Jake.”

His fingers lace through mine like they were always meant to be there.