Coping day to day with the rise and fall of it all

Still just trying to figure out what was mine

I woke up reaching for something I had sworn off.

Another year pushing through. It’s gotta get better soon

I haven’t had sleepless nights for so long. Waking up from emotional pain is something I thought I’d left behind. Pulling this person from my whole being is painful. I should have purged her last year, but here I am, learning the hard way. Greatest fears a reality. Straddling hate and gratitude for her true nature manifesting. Its a weird middle ground. But I have to burn it all down and start anew, without holding the grudge.

On my way to a place far from my comfort zone but full full full of love. Iceland here I come to celebrate those that I love the most with those that I love most. #grateful

Dear world, it’s hard not to be in love with you.

Past wolves rapped at my door. I greeted her through the mail slot and offered to visit her in her wooded den. It’s not for me. Her past sins remain unforgotten, and I wasn’t equipped to host a party of replayed abusive memories.

Some days I wonder if I’ll wake up and realize it was all worth it. Some days, I wake up and wonder why I invite it all.

It’s weird. At first I felt welcome in my new home. Now I feel pretty damn unwelcome. First it was “well share the booze.” Now it’s “buy your own.” They asked for more alone time in the common room, or that I pay more rent. At some point you gotta look around and think “maybe I should just leave.”

Turned 31 at a bar by myself. It was glorious