You know what's blows? Wait wait I'm much more articulate than that. In life we come upon moments that, leave us feeling many different emotions all at once. These are very crucial moments, we are made or broken. It may teach us something, or we may look past the lesson. It's hard being on the bridge of uncertainty alone.. no one to hold your hand, offer advice. So you go it alone, and come back stronger. Then you are again challenged, with learning you have no one she are the moment with. So you process your joy, and pride alone. Being alone, it's a journey, a hard one. Laughing alone, crying alone, being your own cheerleader. I'm sure many of you can do this and need no one. I'm sure many of you can't understand how others hate to be alone. Don't misunderstand me. I am not a needy person who uses others to fill a hole. No.. I am someone different, a lost partner, a misplaced soul mate, a forgotten wife. I am a shard from a broken marriage, and I don't belong anywhere. I was once a piece of a home, a part of my other half. I fit, mattered belonged.. had a purpose. We created a family. We were never alone. We were an us, them, group, team, unit, and we fit all together. I've lost it all many years ago for reasons that isn't for you to understand. How do you change to a person, single, only, here, me, just me. I'm not sure if people fully understand why the change is so hard. Why alone is so scary, why that fear keeps us trying to find a place we belong. I'm not looking for a new family. I'm not looking for a new man. Those are things I'll not have in the way I understand. I have neveah. I have me. Yes it's enough, almost. I miss the support, the being understood with explaining myself. The simple things, like the simple comforts of knowing you belong.. you ARE home, when you are home... the year 2016 is very cold, and lonely. I'm the last gen to not have cell phones, and technology during the teen years.. we made real connections. There isn't anything real. It's all superficial, and transparent. So I'm learning to be alone, because I'm fed up trying to make connections that aren't even there.
