Will You Listen?

I feel like I enjoy a lot of hobbies but I can never commit to something. I’m a quitter. Mainly because theres always someone who one ups me or i just don’t think i’m good enough for it. As you can tell- I lack a lot of self confidence. Well actually I don’t know. Because I have those days where I’m like “I am so amazing” and those other days where I’m like “I’m the fucking worst” you know what I mean? (god i’m so conflicting lol)

Bottom line is - I am so judgmental of myself. 

I have such bad anxiety. Sometimes it’s hard for myself to even ask for help in the supermarket or whatever because I’m scared of what they think of me and scared of speaking to strangers in general. It’s not all the time though. But I think I’ll write about my anxiety in another post because I can babble about it for daaayssss. 

But the things that I have had some kind of passion in include:

1. Art - drawing, painting, cosplaying, coloring

2. Makeup

3. Writing - blogs, fanfictions

4. Videogames - Smash, Fire Emblem, Kid Icarus, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy

5. Eating, Sleeping, Repeating

Well at least those are the main things I do daily. That and I also work at Red Mango so, can’t do everything I want all the time.

As for things I’m into:

1. Music - top artists as of now - Too Close to Touch, Lower Than Atlantis, Mariana’s Trench, Set It Off, Mayday Parade - but I also like my oldies like Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Shakira LOL. I love music.

2. TV - shows as of now - The Walking Dead, the 100, Are You the One?, Scream, Say Yes to the Dress, Botched, the Bad Girls Club

3. Going to the beach because it’s summer time!!

4. Health & Fitness - not that i’m a fan of it (trust me I hate it) but I gained too much weight in the past year and am trying to get my body back. 

5. Youtube - danimansutti, laurencurtis, karissapukas, emmapickles - yeah I know they’re all beauty gurus, majority in Australia, but I absolutely adore each of them.

First post of the new and personal blog, huh?

For starters I guess I’ll need a name, not that anyone’s ever really going to try and talk to me but uhh i guess you can just call me....Elle. It’s the first letter of my real name so I guess it fits. Kinda gay I know but hey, it was the first thing i could think of. 

Anyway, as an introductory post, I warn you. I can be pretty depressing and I don’t know if that’s for everyone. But there are times where I’ll write random thoughts I have. Maybe they can be interesting??? I don’t know. 

Another fact though, i don’t think i really want to reveal anyone’s real names here either because i’m probably going to shit talk them and also because I’ve had my name written in someone’s blog and I was not a fan.