Things I’ve said while Gaming
“If you’re gonna kill me, at least suck my dick first”
“Oh, that’s right, just go straight on in without lube. I /appreciate/ it.”
“Man if I’m gonna get fucked a bit of foreplay would be appreciated”
“Dead. Again. Well good for me, now I’m FUCKT.”
“If you could NOT kill me, that’d be cool.”
“And fuck you. And you. Oh, and you in particular.”
“I swear to FUCK that I will find your family, drag them out in front of you, KILL THEM and then kill y–Oh, You’re dead now? Thank you.”
“Ah, yes, a trail of dead bodies. This can be nothing but good.”
“Oooh. What is tha– ABORT. ABORT. MONSTERS THAT WAY.”
“I am going to shove ten gallons of cinnamon lubricant down your throat if you don’t hurry up and fuck right on off very soon.”
“Oh. It’s a dragon. …Can I seduce the drago– Guess not. SHIT.”
“I don’t know you but I love you and we’re getting married and I’ll send you letters from my adventures and it’ll be really cool and romantic and shit.”
“Are you dead now? Good. I wanted your dress.”
“Man, fuck this place. Fuck this place in particular.”
“Why can’t I shit in that toilet. What sort of game is this.”
“Can I pee on this? No? STOP JUDGING ME IT’S AN IMPORTANT GAME MECHANIC.”
“Nope nope nope nopity NOPE”
“Holy fuck this game is making me gay.”
“See this map? Look at this map. I have a raging boner for this map.”
“I want you, and you, to smooch. Can you do that for me?”
“You know if things could STOP GRABBING ME that would be REAL NICE.”
“I don’t know if I want to punch him with my mouth or my fist.”
“I don’t even like kissing people and I want to tangle tongues with this fucker.”
“Holy fucking shit you’re LIMPING. Were you doing that before? Are you okay?”
“Okay but like. Couldn’t they have KISSED?”
“Yeah. Nope. Still gay. This entire roadtrip is gay.”
“Please zip up your shirt who wants engine grease on their tiddies? Seriously you’re gonna get burned.”
“Level 75 huh? …I ain’t fighting you. Looky here, there’s the road, you’re not looking at me, just gotta act casual… act casual… HAH YOU MISSED ME.”
“I hear wolves it can’t be the full moon ALREADY”
“God dammit dinner’s in heat”
“I chopped down seventy-nine trees and angered the Tree God now please feed me.”
