g h o s t i n g

   that’s basically how he found himself standing abruptly in front of such a .. pretty girl. eddie was left defenseless and embarrassed, a deep blush settling nicely on his cheeks the second he realized what exactly he had done. he’s squirming in place by the time he thinks of something to proper to say. casting his view to the ground, the teen effectively manages to s c r e w this even more apparently. ❝ it’s -- i’m -- uh -- ❞ damn, bill would be PROUD. he begins pressing his nails against his palm unconsciously, so hard he was so sure he was bleeding. it didn’t matter. not now at least. here was his chance to do something other than worry and he fucked this up too. licking his lips, he shakes his head shortly before turning away to avoid all eye contact efficiently. it was only then that he finally settled on what to say to the girl before him:  ❝ i'm .. i'm sorry for bothering you. ❞

    ❝ rich, ❞ he released faintly. eddie had two options: run away from his inner thoughts, push them down for him to battle late at night or confess his worries to the loser in front of him. of course, richie wasn’t bill or stan, mike, ben or beverly. maybe the other would just make fun of him for worrying so much if he were to express the fact that his inhaler was running low .. it was that same realization that ultimately made his decision. breathing out deeply, the teen began playing with his hands and he turned to his friend with a nonchalant expression. ❝ let’s .. let’s go see if we can find something f u n to do around here, yeah ? maybe somebody left their bike just lying around .. who knows. ❞

❝ fuck, ❞ he released under his breath as he swiftly tried his best to move away from the center. that was his second mistake. the clumsy boy wasn’t able to find his rightful footing, his foot tripping on the other in his efforts to avoid any interaction. now, with his ass and hands on the dirty floor, all eddie could do was release a high-pitched whine -- before his weak lungs decide that they want to join the p a r t y too. and there he is, wheezing with a disgusted expression on his face, frantic hues trying ( but failing ) to not stare directly at the stranger whatsoever. ❝ i’m -- i’m FINE. ❞

   such tense words -- it instantly triggered something heavy in his lungs, his wheezing starting out of nowhere and ending just as fast as he brought his light blue inhaler to his lips swiftly. it was only then that he allowed the words to process. had they come from anyone else, eddie’s piece of mind would have only continued to deteriorate. this was richie, however. the same kid who would call him by a stupid nickname he always had a distaste for. we’ll face it together. logically speaking, that shouldn’t have eased him the way they did. they brought on a sort of comfort he hadn’t felt for so long, not after fighting the damn c l o w n, not after parting ways with his friends. the relief washed over him in heavy waves, leaving his hands numb as they came up to wipe at his glazed over hues. richie was right for once. his mom wasn’t going to be with him forever. whether that was good or bad, he wasn’t sure but the one thing he was sure about: IT WAS TIME TO GROW UP. whatever the fuck was going on, despite making no sense whatsoever, eddie needed to face it and do his best to survive. releasing deep breaths in an effort to regain a c o m p o s e d rhythm, shaky eyes focused solely on his old friend before him. ‘ okay -- okay fine, richie. just promise you’ll at least try to be serious for now. i really don’t need you pulling hundreds of more mom jokes while we’re trying to figure out we’re going to do or, i swear to god, i’m going to leave you. i won’t hesitate ! ’

   ‘ my mom .. she’s going to -- ’ kill him ? yeah, not if this place does that first. his knuckle turn red with how strongly they clutch onto his small blue inhaler. new york, the most disgusting city in the entire country. there were icky people and icky places. his mom had told him it wasn’t even safe to walk the streets most of the time ! hearing his last comment, eddie turns to him only to frown heavily. ‘ shut the fuck up, richie. ’ the tone is breathy and raw, anything but playful like the many times before in their distant childhood. this time he was being earnest and sincere. derry was bad but this .. this was very bad too. they had no fucking clue how they got here, they had no idea as to who could be lurking in the shadows of the huge city. tears began to gather at the corners of his eyes, his free hand coming up to clutch at his shirt just to be able to hold on to something. ‘ i shouldn’t be here. i don’t want to be here. fuck, rich, what are we going to do ? ’

   the nickname. the nickname is the only reason why he takes even longer to register what is going on. inhaler in his pocket, eddie doesn’t even think about using it, not even as the other makes his way closer to him. his eyes stay focused on the other’s pair of frantic hues. it isn’t until he catches his last few words that he begins to move, shaking fingers finally grasping at his inhaler. he places it against his lips and takes about two hits before takes a huge intake of air. his lungs begin to work properly again but his mind is still left in a tizzy, his logical side coming to a swift and vital conclusion. ‘ this is a dream, ’ he states clearly before gulping timidly. ‘ i’m fucking dreaming or i’m losing my damn mind or BOTH. i don’t fucking know anymore but you -- you shouldn’t be here. i shouldn’t be here ! ’

  his inhaler -- that’s all eddie currently had on him. he had ended up in this big bad city, a place his mother frequently warned him about, and now he was left to fend for himself without her and his pills. feeling like his lungs were finally giving up on him, he leaned against the nearest street light as his mind continued to swirl with negative thoughts. ‘ oh shit, oh F U C K. ’ this was it. this was how eddie kaspbrak was gonna go: not because of a scary clown but because of his fragile state. he felt like his world was crumbling around him until -- a whiny voice filled with so much familiarity from his childhood days reached his ears. it was enough to have him unconsciously respond between ragged breaths, ‘ shut the fuck up, richie ! ’