#1 Shrek the Musical Lord Farquaad Fanpage

like yeah, it’s funny and all in its presentation. the ballad of farquaad is not meant to be legitimately sad. at all. however, if you remove the layers of comedy and look at the bare-bones pieces of what happened in his life, we get:

his mother isn’t alive, and died when he was very young in a way that was preventable (and something that young quaad probably heavily blamed his father for)

his father didn’t pay any attention to him growing up and was mostly absent, and he likely grew up very poor

not included in the song but like, context clues, i’m sure he was mistreated his whole life too on top of having an absent father and no mom, so there was noone in his life to support him ever

he was being pressured all this time into contributing to the “family business” aka mining which i’m sure he considered a humiliating and low-grade task which, can you even really blame him for not wanting to spend every day of his life doing hard labor

he knew his mom descended from royalty which definitely felt like a slap in the face, knowing that he could’ve had the life he wanted but it was just out of his grasp because she chose to be with his father

somehow he managed to stay living with his dad for 28 years, so i wonder if he was actually trying to pick up jobs and it was not going successfully? -> if he was not trying and just doing nothing (strong possibility), that was likely a product of a lot of hopelessness and built up anger towards the world (and for good reason)

on top of all of this, he had to grapple with a lot of self-hatred as well from his height which, honestly if i’m pushing it can be an allegory for being biracial? is that crazy to say? because looking at it from this perspective, he inherited this trait that he hates (that he hates because of how it causes people to view and treat him) from a side of his family that he now blames relentlessly for giving it to him, and now places blame on everyone else from this wider group of people to a degree so much so that he chooses to oppress them as an adult so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of looking inward. which is… really sad? honestly this is i think one of the distinctions between him and movie farquaad (assuming they don’t have the same backstory) because musical farquaad’s actions are clearly derived from some sort of projected self hatred whereas movie farquaad seems like he’s just fairytalephobic (although movie farquaad fans feel free to correct me if i’m wrong).

(unorganized stream of consciousness upcoming)

hear me out on this. hear me out on this. it’s a hot take i know. like yes. they are not actually cousins biologically. however. if we try to put family labels then that would probably be the closest one?

the relationship that snow white has with the seven dwarfs is supposed to be sort of familial right. like found family sort of situation……..at least that’s how i like to see it in the original snow white and the seven dwarfs movie???? it just makes sense for it to fall into that category since she’s like 14 there (?) therefore a child to look after?? but even if not they’re still friends at least!! those guys are besties with snow. which brings us to the next part of this

shouldn’t farquaad like. at least know who she is…? but he doesn’t, supposedly? because during the ‘this is your wife’ segment, all he has to say about her is “oh, she’s in tupperware” upon seeing her silhouette in the box which is hilarious btw but the point is, this means either 1. he doesn’t know who she is at all or 2. he’s pretending he doesn’t

if it’s the first option, that does make sense!!! grumpy wouldn’t have brought her up bc he doesn’t talk to farquaad anyway bc he sucks (sorry i don’t like him i have a vendetta against him it’s not bc of the farquaad thing i just don’t like how he is in snow white and the seven dwarfs because all he does is TAKE UP SCREEN TIME by being a MISERABLE MISOGYNISTIC ASSHOLE and being DIRTY bc he doesnt want to CLEAN HIMSELF) <- I REALLY DO NOT LIKE GRUMPY FROM SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS

if it’s the second option, this actually also makes sense. because thinking about this scene. all of the dwarfs are shown on the screen/mirror here. which, these are… basically his uncles right. like i guess we don’t for sure know if the 7 dwarfs are related biologically to each other but even if not they obviously have a shared brotherhood that would make them family regardless. so these guys are farquaad’s uncles whether you like it or not sorry

BTW I HATE THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE i hate the one in the middle BAD. this is a problem for another day but i rlly truly can’t STAND him./hj <- probably also farquaad’s thoughts on this topic about all of them

GOING BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING: if it’s the second option, this makes sense bc all of the dwarfs were shown in this scene and he didn’t even say anything abt it. like he for sure would know who they are because one of them is supposed to be his father but he doesn’t say anything at all in response

which could be an oversight…….

or NOT. because ALSO, in this scene, he actually DOES have a reaction to this. it’s not very noticeable but IT IS THERE. i don’t have gifs of it right now but pay attention to the fact that after he does his “yay!” here

he starts dancing back and forth cuz he’s excited. and then all through cinderella’s little magic mirror intro, he’s still dancing. and he keeps dancing all throughout snow white’s intro UNTIL THE MOMENT THE DWARFS SHOW UP ON SCREEN TO WHICH HE THEN ABRUPTLY STOPS IN HIS TRACKS COMPLETELY

and then he laughs at what the magic mirror has to say but he does not keep dancing again after that. and when he’s laughing he’s not even big about it either??

WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY is that throughout this whole scene he’s deliberately ignoring the elephant in the room because he doesn’t want everyone to know that the guys on screen lowkey showed up to his thanksgiving dinners as a kid/j and he’s hiding his reaction to save face

SO, that said, it’d also make sense if he knew about snow white and was just also ignoring that part because it would give away his relation to everyone else. i mean what else can u do in that situation than go “oh she’s in tupperware…” and move on with your day. u can’t rlly do anything else

however i do think the 99% likely scenario is that he doesn’t know who she is at all bc grumpy never mentioned her. what i’m really trying to get at with this is,,,,, the magic mirror knows all this stuff coz it’s the magic mirror

so then why would he suggest snow white, farquaad’s distant kind-of-almost-family member, as a marriage candidate

???

something i love about this scene when fiona says her “forgive me, for i was just saying a SHORT…” is that when farquaad hears the word “short” he doesn’t miss a BEAT before going “HM?” like it’s his trigger word