Growing up my two best friends were Summer and Rain. I wanted a cool name,SO bad. So when I named my kids,I made sure to name them names,that weren’t “white-bread”.

parent is good for doing this because parent is basically saying “yes the behaviours you were born with are great!”

A Greek doctor has photographed an extremely rare moment during a birth, showing a baby still encased inside the amniotic sac after it has been removed from the mother’s body.

Because the sac had not been punctured, Dr Tsigris said the baby did not even realise it had been born and behaved as if it was still inside the mother’s womb.

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The doctor said there was no risk to the baby as it was still feeding off the placenta and would begin to breathe as soon as the sac was broken.

THEY JUST POSTED THIS ON THE HUB BECAUSE IT’S PHOTO OF THE YEAR

So, as everyone already knows in 2010 I had a still born daughter. She was born at 20weeks 5days in the Rosemary Suite, Colchester. When she was born we had no clothing or nappies etc small enough to fit her, she was also bought to us in a little wicker basket, one like they used to use to carry flowers in. Thankfully the hospital had some mini hats and smallish cardigans that we used.

Not everyone is as lucky as us though, I know a few ladies personally and have read numerous stories online about families that have been through similar but have had their children given to them in things such as shoe boxes. The hospitals haven’t helped them in any way at all, and that’s heart breaking.

So, my mother in law has been creating these. They’re prem-cribs, small enough for babies born as early as bam and maybe even smaller. She’s uses a ‘Carte dor’ ice cream oval tub as the foundation and knits around them like this in order to make them and then knits a separate little pillow and blanket for the baby. She’s also knitting some tiny little dresses and outfits too. I have been crocheting tiny hats and so on as well. We plan on making as many as we can and donating them to the Rosemary suite to start with, and hopefully in the future we will be able to go further to other hospitals too.

If anyone has any Carte dor oval tubs they are going to throw int he bin, I would really appreciate it if you could save them and possibly send them my way (even if I need to pay the shipping).

Also, I know there are many that will continue to go through this awful experience, as unfortunate as that is. If you would like one of these or have a particular thing you’d like made before your baby is born etc, then please don’t hesitate to ask because I would be honoured to help as much as possible!

So… I am happy to officially announce to the Tumblr community that I will be keeping my little boy, and for that reason I now feel comfortable enough to share with you guys the profile picture from the one and only ultrasound that I have had so far at 21 weeks.

Coming to this decision has been one of the most difficult things I hope I will ever have to do. I know that through this process, I was not only hurting myself, but I was putting others through emotional conflict and pain as well. But while this has been anything but an easy, pleasant experience, I do appreciate every moment of it. I got to look into and learn more about the adoption process, and what exactly it takes to go through it. I now have a huge respect for both birth mothers and adoptive families alike. It takes a great deal of courage, strength, patience and love to be a part of an adoption trio, and I truly do hold every single person involved in such high regard. You all deserve “superhero” statuses, for sure! 

But through this experience I’ve also been able to grow and learn more about myself. I know that I am a very strong and persistent young woman, but I lack the kind of strength it takes to go through with adoption. I am strong in the sense that I can carry many struggles and fight many battles all at once and somehow I can still stand on my own. But to be a birth mother, it takes a different kind of strength I think. There has to be something in you that keeps telling you that you are making the right decisions. There needs to be that constant reassurance that you feel in your soul that brings you comfort, even through the hurt. I could not find that comfort, and I could not just let go and know I was doing the right thing, no matter how “right” it honestly could have been. Does that make me selfish? Probably. But knowing that I am doing what I feel is best and finally having peace with that decision is just inexplicable. 

So… To close this post on a lighter note… David and I are in disagreement with a name, but we still have a short while to figure that out. I moved back home over the weekend, partly because my mother needs extra help around the house while she is recovering from a major surgery she just received, and also because living at home will make things a little easier for the baby and I for at least the next several months or so. But man, oh man has it been a hectic few days being back home. I’ve almost managed to clean my entire room by myself, and on Saturday I hope to have it nearly completely set up for baby. I also had to change doctors and tomorrow I have my first appointment with my new one. This time I have a female doctor whom I have actually heard of, and I will get to deliver at the same hospital I was born in, not to mention that I am extremely familiar with it because it’s the same hospital my mom receives all of her surgeries at. So yeah… We’ll see how things go with her tomorrow, and I’m sure she will give me the results from my glucose test last week and I am hoping everything turns out okay.