Freudian Slip 'N Slide

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

this could be us

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

something I really enjoy is that I've now seen like 4 or 5 variations of roughly this same video, all slightly different in their angles and timing while obviously being the exact same bunny and room, implying that this is a consistent and frequent behavior for this bunny instead of just a funny thing it did once that got caught on camera. I wish I could have as much raw unfiltered enthusiasm for anything as this little rabbit has for its dinnertime

what do you mean my disability disables my abilities? what the fuck

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

so fucking stupid that meds literally work. "swallow this pebble it makes you think" hateful

i love medications and swallowing pills #mypebbles

don’t forget to swallow your pebbles today girls

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.